Quotation Marks – Castle, Modern Family and New Girl

On one hand, May is one of the best TV months of the whole year. BIG things are going on, from births to deaths, departures to surprise returns and, of course, the occasional confession and consummation of love. Unfortunately, May also means that it is time to look to the summer, where there is considerably less “new” content on the air. We shall get through it together, gentlereaders. In the meantime, here are are our favorite quotes from the week that was.

Castle (Review)

“How? Because of everything we’ve been through together! Four years I’ve been right here. Four years just waiting for you to open your eyes to see that I’m right here. And I’m more than a partner. Every morning I bring you a cup of coffee just so I can see a smile on your face because I think you are the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating person I’ve ever met. And I love you Kate. …” – Castle

Modern Family (Review) 

“I have been waiting for this day ever since the doctor pointed to the ultrasound of your mom’s womb and said, ‘Either that’s a fifth limb or you’re having a boy.’” — Phil

“Haley has a thing for bad boys, which was so me.” — Claire
“Clearly.” — Phil
“So, if she’s going to be leaving the nest soon, we’d prefer it wasn’t on the back of a motorcycle.” — Claire
“My college roommate had a motorcycle. Man, I had some good times on the back of that thing.” — Phil

“This is gonna be so awesome! (sees wait sign for the ride) In 45 minutes, this is gonna be so awesome!” — Phil

“You know, I don’t care what people think. If I thought it would keep my daughter safe, I would have a kangaroo pouch sewn into my midriff.” — Cam (about people staring at them for having Lily on a child leash)
“That’s going to work out really well for you as a single parent. OK, we just got a glare from Mr. Socks with Sandals.” — Mitchell

“Hey, how was Splash Mountain?” — Jay
“It was great … maybe we go again.” — Gloria
“No, thanks. There was no reception in there. You know how many bars I had? Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah.” — Manny

“Your rebel boyfriend’s a Dapper Dan.” — Claire

“I remember I was on Pirates of the Caribbean and this whole fight with DeDe was really eating at me and there was this angry animatronic wench with a rolling pin chasing some poor pirate around. They were on a track, running in circles, so he could never get away from her. And I remember thinking, ‘I can’t save you buddy, but I’m getting off this ride.’” — Jay

“Fake money has changed you. Where is the Manny that used to stop to smell the roses?” — Gloria
“He took a bath on a solar start-up in San Jose.” — Manny
“You have been so busy burying your face in your phone that you barely said hello to your family, you gave Winnie the Pooh the cold shoulder and you haven’t even noticed that pretty girl in the blue elephant that has been smiling at you.” — Gloria

“I don’t know what happened. Maybe it’s what robot Lincoln said about a man’s duty or keeping the union together. Maybe I just chickened out. But I realized that staying with my kids was more important than leaving my wife. Now, that’s not the right decision for everyone but it was the right decision for me. So, I stuck it out ‘til they were grown …” — Jay
“Jay, you want to join me in the Jacuzzi?” — Gloria
“And the universe rewarded me.” – Jay

Big Bang Theory (Review)

“You’re nervous?  I’ve been stress-eating for four days. Look at me, I’m wearing my fat pants.” — Raj

“Quick question. I missed it in the briefing. How much urine do these things hold?” — Howard, to the Russian astronauts

“But I’m gonna have to get it back from you so I can take it to the International Space Station. That way when I come home, you can have a star that was actually in space.” — Howard (to Bernadette about the star necklace he gave her)

“When I eat Fruit Loops, the other astronauts make fun of me.” — Howard

“No, no, no. This is not the wedding I wanted. I want to wear my maid of honor dress and walk down the aisle with 100 eyes on me while a string quartet plays ‘The Way You Look Tonight.‘” — Amy

“Sheldon, it will be fun.” — Leonard
“That’s what you said about the Green Lantern movie. You were 114 minutes of wrong.” — Sheldon

“Did you get down on one knee or were you already there?” — Howard (after hearing Leonard proposed to Penny during sex)

“I told you we are not recreating the wedding from The Sound of Music.” — Howard
“Yes, you made that brutally clear to me. What I was going to suggest was that if you are willing to wait until Sunday morning, the Google Satellite will be over Pasadena. You can have a wedding photographed from space.” — Raj

“If I wasn’t an astrophysicist, I would have been a party planner. It was always a coin flip.” — Raj

“You’ll fall through the roof before you fall off it.” — Howard (to his mother)

“Here you go.” — Bernadette’s Dad
“Here you go? What am I, a football?” — Bernadette
“Like that guy could catch a football.” — Bernadette’s Dad

“I think the Reverend Hofstadter is making an ironic connection between your statement of love and your rejection of his proposal in the bedroom.” — Sheldon

“Howard and Bernadette, you are lucky enough to be best friends who love each other and that’s the strongest kind of love because at its core it has kindness, patience and respect.  Qualities that are hard to find in people these days.” — Leonard
“Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned.” — Sheldon (to Penny)

“Fine, I’ll do it in English but it loses something. The need to find another human being to share one’s life with has always puzzled me. Maybe because I’m so interesting all by myself. With that being said, may you find as much happiness with each other as I find on my own. The Klingon would have made you cry. ” – Sheldon

CBS Sunday Morning

“I’ve always been a shy person. To play a character like this was an enormous sort of challenge to me, to play a character that’s so verbose and also so confident at times. It’s such bravado … the charming thing … that’s easy.” — Simon Baker on his character Patrick Jane of The Mentalist

Bob’s Burgers  (Review)

“Dad, don’t forget monkey brains.” — Gene to Bob at the outdoor food market
“Yeah. And we need more unicorn testicles!” — Louise
“That’s where dreams are born.” — Tina
“All right … we’ll get those, then head back to the restaurant. I just need fresh kale for the burger of the day: ‘If Looks Could Kale’ …” — Bob

New Girl  (Review)

“We need to talk …” — Schmidt to Cece
“Not another ‘Merlot is the whore of the vineyard’ talk … is it?” — Cece

“How am I supposed to trust you Cece? You slept with me. That doesn’t say much about your taste in men.” — Schmidt

Community (Review)

“Nobody in this room gets to define sick.” — Britta
“I do.” — Psychiatrist

“Sixty dollars? Hello, rich people? Troy is joining you! Yes, I’ll hold.” — Troy

“I rented Tower Heist last night and I will not spoil the ending, but let me tell you, it was quite the hilarious thrill ride. That Brett Ratner… He’s a master at comedic-action-adventure… a master at storytelling. He’s just a master at making movies in general. You know what, I’m going to say it: He’s the new Spielberg.” — Shirley
“I have to go. You’re a bad person.” — Abed

Person of Interest (Review)

“Secretive, solitary. He’s just like you Finch.” — Reese

“So how do we spy on a spy?” — Reese

“Question authority and they call you crazy.” — Reese

“This is a mystery you do not want to solve.” — Finch

“If you really need a mystery. I recommend the human heart.” — Finch

Supernatural (Review)

“Well that crap [corn syrup] is in just about everything — soda, sauces, bread. …” — Sam
“Don’t say pie.” — Dean
“Definitely pie.” — Sam
“Bastards.” — Dean

“I can’t live on rabbit food — I’m a warrior!” — Dean

“You get a trophy in Stockholm Syndrome.” — Dean to Emily

“See you next season.” — Alpha
“Looking forward to it.” — Dean

30 Rock (Review)

“Who are you to talk? You French-Canadian kissed her mother! Which is my name for French kissing when it bums everybody else out.” – Liz

“Playing psycho-sexual mind games is our normal, Lemon.” – Jack

“It’s only a dream wedding? Thank god. I did not want to attend.” – Tracey (on Jenna’s wedding)

“I heard her ask her bear who the dye job is.” – Avery (on her daughter)

“Their meat is just deflated kickballs.” – Avery (on her kidnappers)

Bones (Review)

“I’m gloating. I apologize. Canadians shouldn’t gloat.” – Dr. Filmore