Quotation Marks – Warehouse 13, True Blood and Teen Wolf

Sorry, loyal Quotation Marks readers, that team CliqueClack missed last week’s installment. There are those on the team who would blame me, but to quote the great poet Shaggy, “It wasn’t me.” Either way, enjoy this week’s installment which includes the quotes from last week as well.

Warehouse 13 (Review)

“It’s a Templar motto. I hate when we get led to the Templar — they’re always so intense and and orderly devoted to whatever kooky task they’ve been given.” — Artie
“Yeah, that would be annoying.” — Pete, sarcastically

“Our brains are producing far fewer endorphins.” — Artie
“That explains why Pete didn’t hit on that flight attendant.” — Myka
“I know, right? That’s not like me!” — Pete

“Hey Pooh Bear, want me to do that?” — Claudia, when Artie tries to fit into a hole in the wall

“You actually paid attention in fifth grade.” — Artie, when Claudia knows about Magellan
“Yes, now think back to your youth and try to remember what he said to you on deck the night he crossed the International Date Line.” — Claudia
“I never tire of those comments.” — Artie

“Man, I really hope we don’t have to drink snake poison to find this thing. I mean, I’ll do it, but I’m really hoping we don’t have to.” — Pete

Necessary Roughness (Review)

“Come on, Dan, open your allowing tubes. Open! We always said we’d have kids. We’re BFF’s! It’s your last chance.” — Jeanette
“Are you double dog daring me to get pregnant?” — Dani
“Would it work?” — Jeanette
“Only if you turned back time, plied me with some Zimas, and played some Night Ranger.” — Dani
“I can do two out of three.” — Jeanette

“Why don’t you step in here to the Chococlate Factory and let Willy show you what’s Wonka?” — TK, to the hot process server at his door

“I can ignore anything. You should know that by now — I’m ignoring your ass right now.” — TK, to Nico

“Those aren’t kids — they’re piranhas.” — Mrs. Jeevan, about the spelling bee contestants

”Not as aggressive as your aftershave.” — TK, when the opposing lawyer accuses him of being aggressive

Futurama (Review and Review)

“This Episode Worth 250 Futurama Points” — Title Card

“Let the interviews begin! Good luck everyone but Zoidberg.” — Hermes

“This here’s a muggin’! Hand over your skin!” — Roberto
“My ebony splendor?! Me don’t tink so!” — LaBarbara

“Is that a harpoon in your chest?!” — LaBarbara
“Yes! And I’m happy to see you!” — Hermes

“Welcome back, old friend! I missed you terribly.” — Zoidberg
“You do everything terribly.” — Hermes

“Beloved Killer and Maniac” — Roberto’s Epitaph

“You can’t force me to operate!” — Professor
“Maybe not, but perhaps I can encourage you … with my encouragement drill!” — Mecha Hermes

“Does anyone else find it freaky that Zoidberg is singing harmony with himself?” — Amy

“Ooooh, I love your boots, Leela. Nobody would ever guess they’re knock-offs.” — Amy
“How could you tell?” — Leela
“I guessed.” —  Amy

“It’s when women are polite to each other that you know there’s a problem.” — Amy

“With one-sixth gravity, you could do work and be lazy at the same time. It’s like being a voice actor!” — Bender

“Well, we lost to all our opponents. Even that team that turned out to be us in the mirror.” — Leela

“A chemical that can help us win?! That sounds great!” — Amy

“Professor, there’s nothing wrong with Nectar. It’s all-natural.” — Leela
“So are carrots, but you don’t see me injecting them between my toes! [Takes out carrot and lights it up]” — Professor

“Whatever you do, you must not disturb the agressive male. He can be identified by his orange coloration and  enormous butterjunk.” — Butterfly curator (this week)
“Pbtpbtpbt! What’s he gonna do, migrate at us?” — Bender

“Keep your door unlocked tonight. …” — Leela
“What?! But McGruff the Crime Dog says …. ooooooh!” — Fry

“I’m done polishing my ass, Fry. Here’s your toothbrush back.” — Bender

True Blood (Review)

“Jesus tits on Christ, this has got to be the worst night of my life.” — Andy

“I have been born again!” — A gleeful-looking Russell Edgington

“You’re a better dancer than you are a bartender.” — Pam (to Tara)

“I ain’t been to med school or faerie school or nothin’, so if you could put it in terms a laid man can understand, I’d appreciate it.” — Jason (to Claude)

“You can’t play the grieving widow AND the leader of a coup at the same time.” — Bill (to Salome)

“He looked me in the eye and swore on my son’s grave it wasn’t true.” — Martha
“Respectfully, Martha, your son doesn’t have a grave because y’all ate him.” — Alcide
“Don’t get literal on me, Rambo.” — Martha

“I’m like a tree in the wind. I am just so happy to be included.” — Steve Newlin (to Russell, Nora and Salome)  

“You just drank from some dude you don’t even know?” — Jason
“Yeah, and I suppose you know every cow you’ve eaten.” — Jessica
“What the fuck kind of question is that? I ain’t never fucked a cow!” — Jason

MasterChef (Review)

“I couldn’t be happier. I love butter, I love Paula Deen, I love Paula Deen with butter …” — David Martinez about … erm … uhmmmm … Oh! Paula Deen

“I want to see one of them do the best kick-ass fried chicken I’ve ever put in my mouth.” — Paula Deen

“David’s driving the bus … but he might be driving it off the cliff …” — Graham of David’s directions to Stacey

“Chef Ramsay looks really sexy on a horse.” — Felix

“David, my name’s Ramsay not Martinez.” — Chef Gordon Ramsay, scoffing at David’s warning about the mashed potatoes being hot

“Salmonella … that’s what I want to give the judges today. I’m not going home on an egg, dude.” — A disappointed Monti talking about her fried egg

“That’s like sex on a plate.” — Chef Graham Elliot (describing Becky’s fluffy omelette)

Teen Wolf (Review)

“So, what are you, some kind of witch?” — Isaac
“No, I’m a veterinarian.” — Alan

“[To Alison] She’s 21! [To his date] I told you I’d see a student here…” – Mr. Harris