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American Idol – Enough is enough

Look: I know we need to get through these audition rounds but ... how much 'Idol' is too much ... ?!??

- Season 11, Episode 4 / 5 - "Auditions #4 & #5 - Aspen / Galvaston"

“These guys are pumped and ready to audition …”
– Ryan Seacrest

While our beloved host’s comment above may be true, I had to ask myself: How much American Idol is too much?

I considered the facts:

  • Wednesday, the 18th: The first of a two-night Idol premiere
  • Thursday, the 19th: Second part of a two-night premiere
  • Sunday, the 22nd: A third airing special after a glut of football double-headers
  • Tuesday, the 24th: Repeat of Sunday’s episode for those who may have missed it because of NFL playoff football
  • Wednesday, the 25th: The first offering of a week of two-nighters
  • Thursday, the 26th: The tail-end of this week’s two-fer

That’s 6 episodes of Idol over the course of 9 days. So, again, I ask: How much is too much?

But here’s the deal … because there’s always a deal (yes … I used “always”): Even this amount of saturation might not be enough. Scanning the social networks late last evening, mayhem raised its ugly head. DVRs failed. The unaware grumbled and griped Tuesday night’s episode this week was a repeat. I could even feel Debbie‘s incredulity when she asked me pointedly Wednesday: “SERIOUSLY, IS THIS SHOW ON EVERY NIGHT!?” With another comment Thursday: “THERE IT IS AGAIN!”

The answer, my friends, is a simple one: American Idol is poised to overthrow the world with its incessant audition process! A two-night premiere isn’t enough! A third episode in five nights further seeps into our minds to crowd things out which might otherwise further our capacity for intelligent thinking with the likes of BBC’s Sherlock … or Chuck and Castle … or The Bachelor and bromances on Grimm. (Hokay … I may be pushing it a bit trying to advance anyone’s intelligent quotient with those last two.) But wait! Just like that 2:30 a.m. insomnia special infomercial … there’s more! A repeat to fill the spaces of our minds acclimated to Idol coming at us continuously! Plus! Another week (it’s just two days, but it feels like a week) of double-header reality to hit us hard where it counts! Oh, joy! Bring on the mind-numbing mindlessness to prevent us from attempting independent thought!

But beware! It will take the entire weekend to recover from the seemingly endless glut of auditions from around the country!

Then!

We’ll have to put up with the inevitable television equivalent of Delirium tremens (the dreaded DTs) when our systems are shocked with the realization:

THERE! … WILL! … BE! … NO! … MORE! … IDOL! … ‘TIL! … NEXT! … WEEK!

oOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh … the inhumanity of it all … !!!

Where’s my fainting couch … ?!?

Quotes:

“If you ask her for another song, I’ll kill you.” — JLo to Steven regarding a really bad auditionee

“It’s unbelievable … beautiful … God’s paintbrush …” — Steven Tyler overlooking Aspen, Colorado

“To be an American Idol … it’s just so ‘phenomenon’ … it’s exciting …” — Contestant Phong Vu

“I wrote ‘Dream On’ when the Dead Sea was still sick.” — Steven Tyler

 

Photo Credit: neuroskeptic.blogspot.com

5 Responses to “American Idol – Enough is enough”

January 27, 2012 at 10:46 AM

Dunno about the question, but that brain looks like tasty bubblegum!

January 27, 2012 at 9:18 PM

Remind me never to take my future-hypothetical-kids to your house for Trick or Treating.

January 27, 2012 at 10:55 PM

The only thing you would need fear is that they would want to join my cult! Mwwwwwaaah! :)

January 27, 2012 at 12:25 PM

I just plan on reading your recaps until they get down to the top 5 or 6. O have reached the saturation point. I used to watch the auditions, but it’s just too much time devoted to auditions + Hollywood + top 20 or whatever they do now. I’ve also become disillusioned with the voting. Some cute guy that all the young girls are voting for gets pushed along while someone else far better a singer but not as “tv ready” is voted off. So I don’t pay alot of attention to the end.

January 27, 2012 at 1:36 PM

I guess that was the problem with Phong Vu … waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much mind-numbing Idolness. [As opposed to Magic’s apparent Idleness. Chronic gambler gone bonkers?]

Honestly, if they put through 54 from one of those auditions, Randy and Steven were right to buck J-Lo and dump some of the ones she liked that I considered average. But I will agree with her on the one they did put through. Shouldn’t have happened.

I’m ready for a week off, which is why I didn’t question the lack of column yesterday about Weds. night. How many more nights of audition before Hollywood week?

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