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Eagleheart – Chris sleeps with a tree

'Eagleheart' attacks hippies and loggers in its season 2 finale -- sort of. Really, it's an excuse to have a love scene with a tree.

- Season 2, Episode 12 - "Old Gary"

Don’t be mistaken this time around. This week’s Eagleheart is just stupid fun, barely including any subversion of narrative tropes. We start with the best ice pun since the 72,000 in Batman & Robin, when a bunch of hippies kill a logger to prevent “tree crime.” So far, typical sort of story, nature vs commerce, etc. But it doesn’t just stay there.

Coincidentally, the marshalls just happen to be camping in the woods just around this time (naturally) — and are informed by the crusty Rucker, the head logger, that many of his fellow loggers are being killed and dismembered. By those damned hippies! Who apparently are also selling gruesome “crafts” out of the body parts of the loggers they’ve killed — hilariously bloody, that’s a shot! Suddenly, they’re in tents, in vaguely WWII era costumes, being helped by Sabu, their African “diversity” hire that’s mystical and mysterious. Because that’s to be expected.

Then the episode gets unbelievably weird and marginally disturbing, when Chris falls in love and makes love to an old, gnarled tree. Leading of course to a Crying Game shower montage and a severe denial from Chris that anything happened. When the bulldozers smash their way to the tree, who is apparently the oldest one in the woods — named “Old Gary,” we get a crazy revelation. Old Gary is pregnant! And then everyone reveals they’ve also slept with the tree. So say hello to a horrific tree baby that Chris must raise on his own. Even after the apocalypse, and Chris becoming a crazy tree man. An even weirder ending than usual.

Some amusing out-of-context quotes:

  • “What’s next — they build a tree inside of another tree?” — Brett
    “Brett, do me a favor and try swallowing your tongue, would you?” — Chris
    “I hate the people in my life.” — Susie
  • “We’re about to turn Woodstock into Woodstock ’99.” — Chris
  • “Out in the woods, I marked my territory. (pause) My territory is my pants.” — Brett
  • “It’s a forest miracle!” — Hippie

Photo Credit: Adult Swim

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