All right, everyone! I hope you’ve cleared your DVRs and TiVos of all those Housewives of Atlanta episodes, the selective Daily Show programs from three months ago, and all the Eurekas you recorded during the Viewer Picks marathon of a few weeks ago. According to my sundial, the Fall 2009-2010 season begins in earnest tonight. And, if you only own one digital recording device that can only mean one thing: DVR Emergency!

Yes, once again you need to peruse the TV schedules and select only those shows that you will absolutely watch sometime in the next nine months. This week is particularly bad since 1) a majority of shows are premiering, and 2) many of these shows are offering extended premieres to kick off the season. Other than Saturday, you probably won’t get a break from DVR scheduling either, thanks in part to all the summer shows still running on cable. Needless to say, the term “hosed” seems adequate.

Take tonight’s schedule, for example.

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I’ll never understand the thought process behind TV on DVD release dates. Why do so many of them end up coming out just weeks before the new season starts? After everyone just had a whole summer with a drastically reduced television schedule. Shouldn’t there really be a flood of new season sets in May and June? Whatever the case … as has become the norm, with the new seasons approaching we have a bunch of current shows releasing new sets. Among those you’ll find Supernatural, Heroes, Two And A Half Men, The Game, Brothers & Sisters, Desperate Housewives, Rescue Me, and CSI. My pick for the week actually isn’t even a TV show. It’s the latest Bring It On movie, Fight To The Finish. I’ll explain that, and have the rest of the releases, after the jump.
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The big news in ratings this week wasn’t another series high for True Blood, the further decline of Defying Gravity, or even the return of Millionaire. Instead, it was the announcement that several big media and advertising companies are joining forces to create an alternative to Nielsen. My kneejerk reaction? The announcement is full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Well, then again, I suppose it signifies that the networks are pissed about shrinking audiences. Unfortunately, finding a new way to measure shrinking audiences won’t do anything to fix the problem. Read the rest of this entry »

Tonight in the rerun department, we’ve got Barney losing his mojo, just as he gets invited to a Victoria’s Secret party. I’m sure this episode of How I Met Your Mother, “The Yips,” is chock full of Barney-isms. Check it out on CBS at 8 p.m.

It’s followed by repeats of Rules of Engagement, Two and a Half Men, and The Big Bang Theory. “The Griffin Equivalency,” finds Raj getting an ego boost after winning some fame from a magazine article, and risking his friendship with Leonard by trying to win over Penny. Jackie got hiccups from laughing at this episode.

On Fox at 8, we’ve got House trying to diagnose a book editor who suddenly begins insulting coworkers at a dinner party, in “The Social Contract.” Sounds like he’ll fit right in around Princeton-Plainsboro, and Jen was happy to analyze Wilson, for a change. That’s followed by Lie To Me – “Do No Harm” – in which Lightman and Foster investigate the disappearance of an 11-year-old adopted girl.

At 8, The CW has repeats of One Tree Hill (”Searching for a Former Clarity”), and Gossip Girl (”The Age of Dissonance”). Blair gets crushing news about her future, and Serena becomes attracted to the director of a school play. You know you love it. xoxo

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Tonight in reruns, we’ve got House, Lie to Me, and Emeril Green, among others. Here’s the roundup:

At 8 PM, Fox is running House: The Softer Side. It’s the one where the team tries to decode a patient with both male and female DNA. No, it’s not a reality TV series, it’s House.

Over on CBS at 8 is How I Met Your Mother: Three Days of Snow. Debbie thought the episode sucked. Your thoughts?

At 8:30 on Planet Green, Emeril Green features everyone’s favorite mobster-looking chef Emeril Lagasse talking green foods and other fresh, organic, environmentally-correct cooking tips and tricks. CBS has a repeat of Rules of Engagement: Dad’s Visit.

At 9 PM, CBS has a repeat of Two and a Half Men: David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie. Just the title alone makes me want to check it out, even though I’ve never watched a single episode of Two and a Half Men.  Fox has Lie To Me: Unchained. I can vouch for this one, because Lie To Me is one of my new favorite shows that’s flying under the radar. It’s the one where Lightman and Torres decide whether a rehab’d gang leader will help fight inner-city violence or return to his own life of crime. They could have used Cal Lightman on The Wire.

At 9:30, CBS has The Big Bang Theory: The Barbarian Sublimation. Jackie learned several lessons while watching this episode, including that she will not seek out the game The Age of Conan, and muffled woofers aren’t a good thing.

We’ve got a little bit of everything in Rerun World tonight, from Kathy Griffin to Hugh Laurie to Tim Roth. If you missed the pilot of Hung, check it out on HBO at 9 PM. It felt flaccid to Keith, but I think it’s an interesting premise. Notice how more and more TV characters are turning to drugs and prostitution to make a living?

• Starting at 8 PM, CBS has reruns of How I Met Your Mother, Rules of Engagement, Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory, and CSI: Miami. The HIMYM episode is “Little Minnesota”; it’s the one where Marshall takes Robin to a Minnesota themed bar. Debbie thought the episode sounded more clever than it turned out to be. The Big Bang Theory’s ep is “The Bad Fish Paradigm,” the second season opener in which Penny turns to Sheldon for comfort after her disastrous first date with Leonard.
• Fox is airing reruns of House and Lie To Me. We’ve grown to love Cal Lightman in this household, and tonight’s ep is the one where he and his crew investigate a NASA test pilot accused of intentionally crashing a plane.
• The CW has reruns of One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl. Blair tries to improve her standing with Yale by babysitting the daughter of a prominent Yale donor. Yeah, that sounds like Blair. I’ll get caught up on this season on DVD.
• TNT has a repeat of The Closer at 9 PM, leading into a new episode at 9 PM. The repeat finds Brenda getting involved with the gay dance party scene. Should I say something here? Nah, just watch the episode and experience Brenda’s quirky goodness.
• On Bravo, catch a rerun of Millionaire Matchmaker at 8 PM, followed by a repeat of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. Kathy tries to get hip by joining Facebook and hanging with Paris Hilton. Good luck with that.

I’m noticing a pattern here, people — follow along with me, if you will. Last October, we get the news that Showtime’s Dexter is renewed for not one, but two more seasons. A big yay from me, as there really isn’t much TV that’s better than Dexter. Then, just this month, we learn that NBC is in negotiations to renew Friday Night Lights for two more seasons. OK, that’s good news for FNL fans, but interesting just the same.

Now, if you think I’m making something from nothing, consider the press release that CliqueClack received this week, announcing The Big Bang Theory was just renewed for two more seasons, and Two and a Half Men for three — yes, three! — seasons.

This tells me several things. If I were to make a pilot to pitch to any of the networks, you can be sure it would be about serial killer geeks who play football and engage in potty humor. But that’s not really the important thing to get out of this new multi-season renewal trend.

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