From the neon lights of Biscayne Boulevard to the feral swamps of the Everglades, the mid-1980s belonged to Miami Vice. Debuting in 1984 — on NBC at 10pm — the series not only altered cop shows, it influenced all of television by bringing a movie-like look and feel to the small screen.

By setting and shooting the series in Miami, executive producer Michael Mann introduced America to a city vastly different from the sleepy retirement communities most associated with the sunshine state. Mann’s Miami was fast, modern, baroque and dark. The city was more than just a location, it was another character; a breathing backdrop to a series that reflected the glitz and glam of the ’80s.

Grab your shades and shorts and hop aboard the flashback train. We’re takin’ a trip to the 3-0-5, where gorgeous women, tanned bodies, cutting-edge sports cars and super-stealthy speedboats are the norm. Welcome to the world of Miami Vice.

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This may seem like piling-on after yesterday’s brilliant Grinch/Zucker ditty by CliqueClack’s own Richard Keller, but what the hell happened to NBC? The once imposing network — home to such television icons as the Cartwrights and Johnny Carson — has plummeted into a chasm of mediocrity. A perennial ratings powerhouse during the ’80s and ’90s, the 21^st century has seen NBC flounder like week-old sea bass at the bottom of the Nielsen Media Research barrel.

Allow me a moment’s diversion: Has anyone ever met a man, woman or child who belonged to the elusive “Nielsen Family?” I’m aware these chosen few are sworn to secrecy — under threat of execution by firing squad — never to divulge their Nielsen status, but I smell an American Idol-sized rat. I am convinced this so-called Nielsen is actually an introverted genius with Coke-bottle-thick glasses and severe hyperhidrosis, who works out of a windowless room feeding advanced algorithms into a holographic supercomputer. But that’s just my warped opinion. I could be wrong.

Anyway, among the big four networks, NBC consistently places third or fourth in the weekly ratings race. Is this a prolonged slump or has the peacock lost its broadcasting mojo?

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