Well, that title should get some Google hits now, shouldn’t it? Seriously, if you put all these plots together it would sound like a female exploitation film from the early ’70s. Which would probably be better viewing than these Tuesday night repeats.

• Tonight’s episode of House is the one that begins with a girl-on-girl scene between Thirteen and a one night stand who eventually falls ill. This was during her “I’m going to die, so I don’t give a s*!t’ phase of her life. After that is a new episode of House … er, I mean Mental.
• On NBC there are two episodes of Law & Order:SVU. In the first, a dead body leads to three more dead bodies and a strip club. In other words, a standard episode; except for the fact that it guest-stars Carol Burnett. In the next hour, Detective Benson has flashbacks to her sexual assualt during a routine investigation.
• On CBS it’s the Crimetime lineup of NCIS, The Mentalist (the episode with the bomb timer), and 48 Hours Mystery. 48 Hours may be the best option as it investigates the death of a preacher’s wife.
• No repeats on ABC — NBA Finals. Time to reminisce of past schedules. For example, the Tuesday night schedule for 1999 gave us Home Improvement, Spin City, Sports Night, and the great NYPD Blue. Ah, good times!

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We’re on the verge of it now. Over the next two weeks all of our favorite shows are going to be ending, and some of those tough decisions will have to be made by the networks. These final few ratings numbers will play heavily in those decisions. With that in mind, the week brought good news for a couple of bubble shows (Castle, Lie To Me), and bad news for others (Better Off Ted, Cupid, The Unusuals, Dollhouse, Reaper, My Name Is Earl). Read the rest of this entry »

And just like that, finale season is upon us. Over the next few weeks, all of our favorite shows will be pulling out all the stops and heading off into the summer break, with hopes of returning for another go in the fall. Some of them, no doubt, will be disappointed in that regard. Aside from the marriages, pregnancies, and lives left hanging in the balance, finales are interesting from a ratings perspective because they provide the possibilities of a numbers boost. One last data point to point to as you make the case that this show shouldn’t be canceled. NBC got the ball rolling last week as Chuck and Heroes both fired off their finale salvos. The results were something less than stellar. The news was better for Fringe, the NCIS spinoff, and the CW Thursday. Read the rest of this entry »

Man … last week was just a bloodbath in the ratings. With the exception of Thursday night, it was bad news for all of the shows at the top of my list for every night. Kings on Sunday, Chuck and Heroes on Monday, Reaper on Tuesday, Better Off Ted and Lost on Wednesday, and Dollhouse on Friday. Not a lot of good to report for any of them. On a brighter note, there was good news for the returning Fringe, and the debuts of Parks & Recreation, Southland, and Harper’s Island. Read the rest of this entry »

It was an odd week of television. The current sweeps period continues to cough up odd nights of repeats. This time, NBC took Monday off, to disastrous results. In not quite as disastrous news, the mid-season debuts continued, as ABC premiered Better Off Ted and NBC finally gave us all a look at Kings. On the happier end of the scale, the CBS Monday comedies were all up, the Idol reign of terror continued, and it sure looks like we won’t have to put up with The Chopping Block for much longer. Read the rest of this entry »

… and hates Marco White, apparently.

It was a strange week on television. The calendar keeps insisting we are in a sweeps period, but the networks are dropping repeats all over the schedule. Even Lost, which ABC promised would run uninterrupted, went the repeat route. There were still some big events. As usual, Idol dominated, but ABC made some noise of their own with the return of Dancing With The Stars, spinning the loss of Jewel and Nancy O’Dell into ratings gold by signing up jilted bachelorette Melissa Rycroft. At the other extreme we found NBC’s latest disaster, The Chopping Block. There were also interesting numbers, good and bad,  for Chuck, Heroes, Castle, Kath & Kim,  CSI: Miami, Lie To Me, Next Top Model, and Dollhouse. Read the rest of this entry »

Law & Order: SVU – Lead

Big things were afoot this week on SVU: Alex is back, and boy, did hilarity ensue with that one. Actually, I’m not sure if this was actually as funny as it seemed to me, but I sure got a kick out of it. The episode started off normally enough: The new DA was all frosty and fired up in that monotone way of hers. Then we come back from the first commercial break and Alex is showing up at the crime scene instead of her. And it goes a little something like this:

Benson: “Uh, hey Alex. It’s kind of weird seeing you here.”

Alex: “Oh, hey Liv.”

Benson: “Hey, remember when we saw you get shot, and were really sad, but it turned out you faked your own death and went into witness protection? Those were crazy times. ANYWAY, I heard that all of the dudes who were after you are dead now, and you’ve been out of witness protection for like 3 YEARS.”

Alex: “…Yeah, sorry about that. I meant to call.”

Read the rest of this entry »