See Jane Clack – 24’s Mole, Walter Bishop’s Lab, American Idol’s Crying Boy
The 24 mole. Got any theories on who the FBI mole is on 24? I’m thinking it’s Larry Moss. The guy has some serious stability issues, and not just because his girlfriend Renee was missing and presumed dead. I think Larry is masking a guilty conscience and that’s why he sweats so much.
Dashing Bill Buchanan. And speaking of 24, Bill Buchanan is so dashing and handsome with his white hair. I heard where his real-life alter-ego James Morrison is a devout yoga practitioner and leads yoga sessions for the crew in between scenes. Maybe that’s why Bill stays so calm and cool when all around him people are being shot and drugged.
See Jane Clack – Glenn Close, vampire sex, and those KFC commercials
There was plenty of clacking going on inside my head this week, everything from those stupid KFC commercials to Moonlight to the Super Bowl. Take a peek, and let me know if you agree or disagree in the comments section:
I wish 24 and Damages were better this season. Sure, it’s swell having them back, but so far, I’m not rabid for the next episodes or anything. That saddens me, because I really love both of these series, and it doesn’t get much better than Glenn Close and William Hurt. Hopefully, both shows will get better and have me pining to see what happens next. Or maybe I just expect too much. I didn’t even realize I felt this way about Damages until Modwild pointed it out to me in the comments last week. Mod, I don’t know whether to thank you or curse you!
See Jane Clack – Snoop Dogg, Bret Michaels, and Playboy Bunnies
This week’s edition of See Jane Clack is dedicated to all the wonderful late-night shows I have the privilege of watching as I work into the wee hours. Such well-bred, sophisticated, and natural talents you won’t find anywhere else on the tube. Why, it makes me want to break out the caviar and ring for a butler. Let’s take a look into my late-night excursions:
The Girls Next Door (E!). Ever wondered what goes on inside the Playboy mansion? I know it’s always been a dream of mine, and now we get to find out when Hef and his ladies Bridget, Holly and Kendra expose all on this show. I tune in to: 1) get pointers on how to achieve my lifelong ambition of being a Playboy bunny, 2) see what new pets Hef has acquired (no, not the bunnies, we’re talking monkeys, flamingos and parrots), and 3) see if Hef is still alive. Because a day without Hef is like a day without sunshine, gosh wrinkly darnit.
See Jane Clack – Dog the Bounty Hunter, Survivorman, and The Cosby Show
Dog the Bounty Hunter is a rough gem. Over the holidays, I saw Dog the Bounty Hunter on On the Record with Greta Van Susteren. Wow, that guy looks like nine miles of bad road, doesn’t he? But it was sweet how he called Greta “ma’am” and was so polite and gentlemanly. Despite his rough looks and questionable past, Dog really seems to have a good heart, and Lord knows he’s got the bounty biz down pat. Things were going great until the interview was over and he signed off from Hawaii with “Obama Country!” That seemed a little awkward for Greta. Anyway, check out Dog the Bounty Hunter on A&E. It’s rough fun.
Those slippery floors on The Biggest Loser made me crazy. We faithfully watched The Biggest Loser this season, and loved seeing everyone get healthy and change their lives for the better. But the season finale made us grip our chairs with suspense. Not because we wanted to see who’d win — we pretty much knew Michelle had it in the bag — but because of those slippery floors on the stage. Every time a female contestant emerged in her fancy dress and high heels, she was in dire peril of skating across the floor and landing on her nicely-toned butt. Thank goodness Bob Harper was there to help the ladies across the floor. Next time, think about sticking some of those non-skid grippers to the bottom of your shoes, girls. After all that work, you don’t want to end up in the hospital with a broken rib or something. Read the rest of this entry »
See Jane Clack – Lesbian sex, the cow cam, and those Arby’s commercials
Oh my, the things that made me clack this week! Everything from lesbian sex to a gentle cow cam:
The L Word is borderline porno. I just started watching The L Word, because I’ve heard good things about it, and I need something to watch late into the night while I work (you don’t think I just sit here with my computer 24/7, do you?). Anyway, wow! Those lesbians have a LOT of sex! They’re either having sex, thinking about having sex, or looking for people to have sex with. I’ve watched a lot of HBO and Showtime shows, but I don’t think I’ve seen one that’s as borderline porno as The L Word. I’ll keep watching, though, even though it makes me feel, uh, funny inside.
That Arby’s commercial is way too provocative. While I’m on the subject of sex, it is just me, or are commercials getting way too suggestive these days? I’m thinking of the Arby’s commercial, where the guy is lying in bed while his wife shouts from the other room, “I’m only doing this because it’s your birthday!” Then she comes in bringing a tray of Arby’s food, and the little red Arby’s hat over his head sproings to life. Excuse me, people, this airs during the day when my kids are watching! This isn’t The L Word, for cripes sake!
See Jane Clack – Veronica Mars, Playboy Bunnies, and those Overstock.com commercials
The theme song to Lipstick Jungle is awesome. It’s hip, jazzy, upbeat, and just plain fun to listen to with its Wurlitzer organ riff. It’s a tune called “The Bomb” from Bitter:Sweet, and available on iTunes and on their album, Drama. I just bought it, so now I’m feeling hip and jazzy. That doesn’t really happen that often, so, yah! for Bitter:Sweet.
Hugh Hefner is a total sleazebag. Hugh, you say you love women, you love being around women, you love everything about women, so why did you dump your aging bunnies for new skin? What are the bunnies supposed to do now, Hugh? Where do aging bunnies go, I ask? I implore you, Hugh. Don’t ditch the bunnies.
See Jane Clack – The Observer, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and the Fox News girls
Fox
This week, my brain clacked about The Observer, Madonna the hypocrite, and so much more. See if you agree with my thoughts:
The Observer is a stroke of genius. Not only are viewers tuning into Fringe every week to catch a glimpse of him, they’re recording the show and playing it back to find him (note: he was in the German airport in this week’s episode). My son actually text’d me from school on Wednesday, because he and his buddies were talking about Fringe. Remember the line in this week’s episode, “Where does the gentleman live?” My son thinks The Observer is the gentleman, and he lives in Little Hill. If only we knew what or where Little Hill is. Some place deep in the earth’s core, perhaps?
The girls on Fox News are all cute, blonde and skinny. Why is this? I have some theories: 1) It’s in Bill O’Reilly’s contract; 2) Because the network is named Fox, all the women have to BE foxes; and 3) The girls actually come in plump, brunette models, but are given magic makeovers that turn them into skinny blondes (Criss Angel on staff, perhaps?).
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