Hey, assh—s! I have a f–kin question to ask you. What’s the G– damn deal with all the motherf–kin swearing that goes takes place on those s–tty reality programs? I mean, they swear so f–kin much that it’s f–kin hard to f–kin hear them say a G– damn word! What the F–k?

And, that’s one of my pet peeves with reality programming. That, and the fact that reality programming is still around and keeps propagating like a horny rabbit on Viagra. Be that as it may, if reality programming is still around, I wonder if all the swearing is helping it out. Especially since you can’t understand a friggin’ word they say sometimes. Read the rest of this entry »

Yikes! The “good” reality shows are dwindling away in fall season finales! By “good” I mean ones I watch and enjoy. Your mileage may vary, of course. But the real biggies of the genre are wrapping things up and I fear a dearth coming as the year winds down. Last week it was the end of Dancing With the Stars, this week it was the finale of The Amazing Race. Next week, Survivor Gabon will be in the history books.

So we must endure housewives, losers and hype for the upcoming season of American Idol. I guess it’s a good thing that we’re all busy with the holidays. Hey, perhaps a holiday reality show? Hmmm … something like The Great Santa Race! Wannabee Santas would have to assemble a sleigh, get a team of reindeer together, figure out the criteria for naughty and nice, then deliver presents to all the good blogger girls and boys. Ahem. Read on.

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Sexy vampires, dumb housewives, and Mighty Mendit are just a few of the things that made me clack this week. Check it out, and add your own clack-worthy thoughts in the comments section.

I want some “Mighty Mendit” for myself. There are some awesome “seen on TV” ads lately. One of my favorites is Mighty Mendit, guaranteed to mend clothes, curtains, couches, pets … ok, maybe not pets, but you get the picture. I’m thinking of my daughter’s Girl Scout sash, which still needs the badges sewn on, even though Girl Scouts ended for her last year. If you can get past Billy Mays’ shouting, this stuff sounds incredible. And speaking of Billy Mays, I wonder if he actually uses all the amazing products he shouts about on those commercials – Oxi Clean, Kaboom!, Grip Wrench, and everything else. Billy, if you’re reading this, let us know! And if I had to pick between you and the ShamWow dude, it’d be tough, but I’d probably have to go with you for sheer enthusiasm alone.

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Comedy Central

7:00p/6:00 Central

• Maybe you’ve heard. There’s a Presidential Election in the US tonight, and coverage of it will pretty much consume ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX and most of the major news cable outlets. Many of those have already started. Who will declare a winner first, and probably before all the polls close? Will anyone call it for the wrong candidate like they did in 2000?

8:00p/7:00 Central

• If you get bored with watching the numbers come in all night long, you can always flip it over to The CW. They don’t really have a news team, so they’re sticking with 90210. Tonight, a sleepover turns into a house party as Annie releases her frustration about Harry’s son given up for adoption. ABC Family is also all new with Lincoln Heights.

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Oxygen

8:00p/7:00 Central

• While ABC Family deals with Johnny’s accident on Lincoln Heights, Dr. House and team tackle a man with accidental blackouts and time lapses over on FOX. Meanwhile, is Cuddy ready to adopt?
• Over on CBS, a killer plays a game of cyber cat and mouse on NCIS, because killers always think that makes them look cool. Alternately, Rita demands respect of her own on Lifetime’s Rita Rocks when she starts to feel her kids are taking her for granted. That one’s on at 8:30p/7:30 Central.
• It was only a matter of time, but it looks like our first 90210 kid is checking into rehab on The CW tonight. Also, Ryan learns more about Kimberly than he could have ever suspected.
• One of the contestants sets a new record on The Biggest Loser on NBC at the weigh in. Nessa and Smithy see the first scans of their baby, while Stacey is less than thrilled with Essex life on BBC America’s Gavin & Stacey at 8:40p/7:40 Central.

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TBS

8:00p/7:00 Central

• Before the next elimination, check out a recap of the season so far on ABC’s Dancing With the Stars: Recap Special. In other reality programming, it’s time for a six-week checkout on NBC’s The Biggest Loser.
• Alternately, Lifetime continues their week long premiere for Rita Rocks with another new episode. Or, if you want to know more about Thirteen’s personal life, and her lesbian love life, tune into FOX for a new House. Whats Lizzie going to do on a new Lincoln Heights on ABC Family? Will it be Johnny or Devin? BBC America’s Gavin & Stacey worries about a whole different kind of who when Smithy learns who the father of  Nessa’s baby is.
• Over on CBS, Gibbs comes face to face with Agent Fornell while tracking a marine’s murderer on NCIS.

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We

8:00p/7:00 Central

• The ALCS Game 4 gets under way on TBS with Tampa Bay now on a roll and in control, up two games to one. But if baseball’s not your thing, maybe you’d rather watch the contestants of NBC’s The Biggest Loser face the longest challenge in show history, from sunup to sundown. For other competition fare, ABC’s Opportunity Knocks visits “The Long Island Brady Bunch,” a brood with nine children.
• Scripted options include a new Lincoln Heights on ABC Family wherein the family reels after a shooting. You can follow that up with BBC America’s Gavin & Stacey at 8:40p/7:40 Central in which the couple returns from their honeymoon and Nessa’s secret is finally revealed. Yeah, I said this was on last week, but BBC America bumped the schedule a week so it’s on tonight instead.
• Gibbs learns more about his past on CBS’s NCIS as a murder case leads to the town he grew up in. Ralph Waite guests as his father. Meanwhile, over on FOX’s House, the titular doctor’s father dies and as he reluctantly goes to the funeral we learn how he and Wilson first met. Oh, and someone almost dies and is saved at the last second.

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