Last week was a great week on television in general, which means that it was a great week for quotes. Between the suicide on House, Scott Bakula guest-starring on Chuck and Portia De Rossi just being awesome on Better off Ted, there were a lot of hilarious lines. These are some of our favorites from this week. As always, feel free to leave your own quotes in the comments section.

House

Cuddy: “I’m sorry for your loss.”
House: “It’s not my loss.”
Cuddy: “I’m sorry you don’t think it is.”

“Suicide means you could have helped him; murder means you’re off the hook.” – Cameron

“You can’t feel that much guilt without love.” – Taub.

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Who knew? Did you? I’m gonna be honest with you, I totally didn’t see the “twist” coming in the latest episode of NBC’s Chuck until they told us. And I guess I should have. Sure, you could say “that’s a helluva coincidence,” or rather you could realize that maybe there’s less coincidences than usual.

I guess with the inclusion of both Scott Bakula and Chevy Chase there wasn’t much time left for any Buy More shenanigans. But I really didn’t mind. While Chase’s role was pretty cardboard, Bakula was really able to sink his teeth into a character that turned out to be far more complex than it started. And he did so masterfully.

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Computers are my life. Well, a big part of it anyway. And since you’re reading this, chances are they’re a big part of your life too. We use them for work, school, play and everything in between. Then again, you could be someone’s technically unaware grandma who found this printed out on some crumpled up paper used as packing material for your newest Hummell.

Not only are computers part of our lives, but they consume the lives of those we watch in movies and TV. Some of them are as large as cities, some of them talk and have personalities, and some of them even have pet names. Here’s a list of some of the more notable computers on TV (and before you whine, this is not counting robots):

ARDVARC (Get Smart)
The Automated Reciprocal Data Verifier And Reaction Computer is the central computer owned by Max’s employer, CONTROL. Its best friend is a cigarette machine — how quaint for a show of the ’60s. And let’s not forget the lack of political correctness of the time: on episode number 50 (”The Girls from KAOS”), ARDVARC scans its databases for a particular Asian KAOS enemy agent, but eventually concludes it can’t find the agent because “they all look alike.”

Sadly, on episode number 109 (”Leadside”), ARDVARC blows up. Rumor has it the cigarette machine, overcome with grief, traveled to Japan and now dispenses iPods and eyebrow trimmers in downtown Tokyo.
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Breathe. I know it’s been a long time since your favorite shows have been on, but you’re going to be OK. I’m sure of it. Well, almost sure, but since this post is about thinking positive, go back to that breathing thing.

If you are feeling that emptiness in the pit of your heart, that space that is longing to be filled with quality, scripted programming never before seen, you have at least a week to wait, perhaps a bit more. It doesn’t have to be spent pining away, sitting in front of your television with your remote, going blindly from one station to another, hoping upon hope you’ll click onto something that will give your life meaning. That won’t happen, but you can entertain yourself while waiting for your favorite shows to come back.

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