Did you watch Better off Ted this season? Judging by the dismal ratingsit gets week after week, my guess is no. In fact, I actually thought it had been cancelled, and was pretty shocked when I found it would be coming back as a mid-season replacement. What’s even more shocking (follow along if you can here), is the lack of shock I would have experienced had it actually been cancelled. Confused yet?

This is not your typical “Of course they cancelled it, because ABC cancels any good/funny/clever/adjective-of-your-choice show without giving it a chance to develop an audience” rant. No, I didn’t give a crap about Pushing Daisies, and I never watched a single episode of Eli Stone. The reason why I expected to see Better Off Ted up on the chopping block is because Andrea Anders has a semi-starring role in it, and every show she is on gets cancelled.

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A bit of a dicey question, that. Over the course of this past week, conversations have abounded about the new NCIS spin-off, a show that utilized the previous two episodes of NCIS to potentially launch itself onto the new CBS fall lineup.

Much of the discussion has focused on Grey’s Anatomy’s spin-off, Private Practice, as well as on NCIS itself, product of good old JAG. Which one did a better job? Forgetting about the obvious success of one over the other (not naming names), each show attempted to go about birthing their progeny in a different way.

For JAG, it was the old introduce new characters during an episode (Gibbs, Ducky and Abby), who will later helm the new series. For Grey’s Anatomy, it was send a character (Addison) to a new location and have them move there for their new show.

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This may seem like piling-on after yesterday’s brilliant Grinch/Zucker ditty by CliqueClack’s own Richard Keller, but what the hell happened to NBC? The once imposing network — home to such television icons as the Cartwrights and Johnny Carson — has plummeted into a chasm of mediocrity. A perennial ratings powerhouse during the ’80s and ’90s, the 21^st century has seen NBC flounder like week-old sea bass at the bottom of the Nielsen Media Research barrel.

Allow me a moment’s diversion: Has anyone ever met a man, woman or child who belonged to the elusive “Nielsen Family?” I’m aware these chosen few are sworn to secrecy — under threat of execution by firing squad — never to divulge their Nielsen status, but I smell an American Idol-sized rat. I am convinced this so-called Nielsen is actually an introverted genius with Coke-bottle-thick glasses and severe hyperhidrosis, who works out of a windowless room feeding advanced algorithms into a holographic supercomputer. But that’s just my warped opinion. I could be wrong.

Anyway, among the big four networks, NBC consistently places third or fourth in the weekly ratings race. Is this a prolonged slump or has the peacock lost its broadcasting mojo?

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Today’s guest clacker is Aryeh S. who, with his wife and infant son, are transplanted New Yorkers, temporarily living in the quaint village of Philadelphia. He and his wife look forward to the day when their son sleeps past 5am … it will also make it easier for them to clean up the 75 hour backlog on their DVR.

Every fall (these days its all year round) we cozy up to a new lineup of shows, knowing full well that many of them won’t be seeing us through the winter. But over the past four years (okay, that’s as far as I can reference back), a plethora of gold (and pewter) has been ripped from the airwaves faster than our DVR guides can update. Here is my “Ode to Shows Past (or, My Secret Shame).”

DISCLAIMER: If your favorite show is missing, it was edited out after I submitted this. I loved (insert show name) too!

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