To the bean counters and pole sitters over at ABC:

You’re toying with my emotions. Here I am in a fragile enough state, what with the economy plunging down the water slide of recession. Now I’m hearing news that one of the banes of my existence, one of the thorns in my side, one of my pet peeves may soon be coming to an end.

What I’m hearing is According to Jim, otherwise known as The Show That Will Never Die, could be ending its eight-year run this May after several weeks of double-episode runs that will replace Homeland Security, U.S.A. Many industry folk are saying once the last dozen or so episodes begin airing in late March it will be the end of the line for Jim and his family’s first run life (though they will continue until the end of time in syndication).

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Seriously people: Season eight? ABC makes the inexplicable decision to pull three quality shows from its lineup — Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money and Eli Stone — and decides instead to air double episodes of According to Jim all winter long?

As if there aren’t enough reasons not to watch According to Jim, you could simply forgo just to rebel against ABC and their crappy decisions regarding their lineup. But if you need something else to do so that you don’t watch, try these on for size.

1. Flea-dip your dog.
2. Re-watch your Cop Rock season one DVD.
3. Replay the Rosie Live recording that you just can’t get off your DVR.
4. Begin your presidential campaign.
5. Combine various cleaning products into one bucket just to see what happens.
6. Have a staring contest with an inanimate object.

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