No context needed for us fans. Take it away, Crane and Kaufman….

“Who’s FICA? Why’s he getting all my money?” – Rachel

“What do you know?! No one’s going up to you and saying, ‘Hi! Is that your nostril? Mind if we push this POT ROAST THROUGH IT?’” – Carol

“Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack!” – Chandler

“We’ve gotta get some sleep.” – Julie
“Yeah, it’s really 6:00 tomorrow night our time.” – Ross
“Well, listen, don’t tell us what’s gonna happen though, ’cause I like to be surprised.” – Chandler

“You’re over me? When were you … under me?” – Ross Read the rest of this entry »

We all have friends. We know what that’s all about. But, Friends? I’m willing to bet that not many of us have cliques quite like them. Incestual dating? Marriage? Plus, non-twin siblings in the same group? College roommate this and former-homeless that? Safe to say that our friends on Friends were an unusual bunch. And, you know what? That’s why the show worked.

Even for those of you who have, or are, living this life, there was nothing “been there” about this simple premise. Particularly not for me, as I started dating my wife before you could include the word “teen” in our ages. And yet, in the age of Seinfeld, and post-Cheers, Friends was a wild success that you can’t escape from even now, five years after they said goodnight. Why? It’s all about the characters. And the jokes! Read the rest of this entry »

This may seem like piling-on after yesterday’s brilliant Grinch/Zucker ditty by CliqueClack’s own Richard Keller, but what the hell happened to NBC? The once imposing network — home to such television icons as the Cartwrights and Johnny Carson — has plummeted into a chasm of mediocrity. A perennial ratings powerhouse during the ’80s and ’90s, the 21^st century has seen NBC flounder like week-old sea bass at the bottom of the Nielsen Media Research barrel.

Allow me a moment’s diversion: Has anyone ever met a man, woman or child who belonged to the elusive “Nielsen Family?” I’m aware these chosen few are sworn to secrecy — under threat of execution by firing squad — never to divulge their Nielsen status, but I smell an American Idol-sized rat. I am convinced this so-called Nielsen is actually an introverted genius with Coke-bottle-thick glasses and severe hyperhidrosis, who works out of a windowless room feeding advanced algorithms into a holographic supercomputer. But that’s just my warped opinion. I could be wrong.

Anyway, among the big four networks, NBC consistently places third or fourth in the weekly ratings race. Is this a prolonged slump or has the peacock lost its broadcasting mojo?

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We’ve all seen it happen. Some Hollywood TV star hits pay dirt with a super popular TV show. Their ego grows as fat as their wallet and they think they deserve to jump onto the “big screen.” Some make the leap graciously and successfully; a few names that come to mind include Tom Hanks, George Clooney, and Ron Howard.

It seems, however, that for every successful jump there’s at least one… less successful jump. Now, you may say it’s mean spirited to kick these actors while they’re down. To that I say: “Hi, I’m Bob. Clearly we haven’t met before.”

Besides, I think these actors deserve it for turning their backs on the superior medium that is television. Where else can you tell huge sweeping stories 50-100 hours long? Not in the movies, that’s for damn sure. So who cares if the budgets are smaller, the work more demanding, and the paychecks not as impressive? Lots of successful actors, I guess, but that’s beside the point. Onto the list!

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NBC

(Season 3, Episode 3)

“She’s like a human Macarena; something everyone did at parties in 1996.” – Liz, on her college friend Claire.

Last week Oprah graced 30 Rock, and I was a little disappointed that she wasn’t given more to do. This week, it was Jennifer Aniston’s turn to guest on the best comedy on TV (as decided by the Emmy’s, not just me). She was certainly given a lot more to do than Oprah, and I thought she performed well. She played Claire, the “human Macarena” as Liz called her. A crazy college friend, it doesn’t take Claire long to bed Jack and become completely obsessed with him. When I say obsessed, I mean she became bat-shit crazy, or as Liz put it: “She is staunchly in favor of coco puffs.”

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