8:00p/7:00 Central

• Cuddy moves in with House on FOX?! It’s not like that; her house is just being worked on; but you know it’s like that. Oh, and someone’s dying and only House can save them. But you knew that.
• The investigation into a petty officer’s death leads CBS’s NCIS team into the world of underground street fighting. It’s domestic squabbling on Lifetime’s Rita Rocks at the half hour.
• Tyra Banks is on hand for the big “makeover” installment of NBC’s The Biggest Loser. MyNetwork TV has the 2008 World Music Awards, while BBC America is offering up a “Winter Olympics” special edition of Top Gear, followed by Gavin & Stacey at 8:40p/7:40 Central.

9:00p/8:00 Central

• Mike Rowe gets to see what life is like as a maggot farmer on Discovery’s Dirty Jobs. History takes a look at “Sex in Space” on The Universe. With “Sex” in the title, it’ll probably be the highest-rated episode of the entire series so far. And ECW is new on Sci Fi.
• Jane goes undercover on CBS’s The Mentalist to see if a National Guard unit member is killing the rest of his unit. A crook who winds up embedded in a vault wall turns out to be after something of Walter’s on FOX’s Fringe.
• But none of that really matters because tonight is the one hour season premiere of According to Jim on ABC. Oh how we’ve missed you, Jim Belushi. Tonight, a Christmas blankie goes missing, as does Cheryl’s best friend. It’s up to Jim to save the day!

10:00p/9:00 Central

• The name of TruTV’s Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel just seems an oxymoron to me. There’s so much reality this hour it’s not funny … it’s reality. Like the third season premiere of The Bad Girls Club on Oxygen, now expanded to a full hour and promising a whole new crew of women with bad habits that are hindering their lives.
• How about BET’s Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is? Or do you prefer Health’s Deliver Me? There’s also Lifetime’s Blush: The Search for the Next Great Make-Up Artist, Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Orange County, A&E’s The Rookies: Tampa, Animal Planet’s Living With the Wolfman season finale, History’s Extreme Trains, and BET’s Brothers to Brutha at the half hour.
• It’s the season finale of Paris Hilton’s My New BFF on MTV. Find out which person she picks to be her new best friend for as long as the cameras are still running. I’m sure she’s already bored. Maybe she’ll put them on Sci Fi’s Cha$e, and send her henchmen after them to kill them for her amusement.
• Just for fun, the Discovery Channel has put together a show extrapolating what could happen should a massive earthquake hit the nation’s most populous city on Sci-Trek: New York Earthquake. Just for fun!
• William Shatner has his own talk show. The man just keeps on going! Now, I love me some Shat, so expect this to be pretty damned entertaining. In tonight’s back-to-back premiere he sits down with Valerie Bertinelli and Tim Allen on Biography’s Shatner’s Raw Nerve.
• NBC’s Law & Order: Special Victims Unit looks at a rape case. I know, right?! Still, this case stirs up memories from Det. Benson’s past. It’s just a missing doctor on CBS’s Without a Trace. Not nearly as dramatic.
• Eli Stone’s visions have him in his father’s body on his brother’s birthday, but it all ties into his case. He’s trying to help a sixteen-year old boy emancipate himself from his powerful and intimidating father on ABC’s visionary, musical and probably canceled (they didn’t pick up the back-half order) show.

11:00p/10:00 Central

• You know what I want to see on MTV’s Paris Hilton’s My New BFF reunion special? I want them to trot out the winner and have Paris say, “Who are you?”
• A&E is back with an hour of The Rookies: Jefferson because they were feeling slighted after an hour of Tampa. And WE looks at Cosmetic Surgery from Hell, and believe you me there’s been some nasty looking results out there. Have you seen “the cat lady?”
• TBS has a new Frank TV as well. I really want that show to be better than it is because I like Frank Calliendo. He’s great at impressions and he seems like a really nice guy. Maybe he just needs some better writers. It has its moments, but not enough of them.

8:00p/7:00 Central

• Who here is planning a big block party for the season finale of MyNetwork TV’s Street Patrol? We’re going to watch it and then go tip a patrol car.
• The ’80s invade NBC’s The Biggest Loser, with wardrobe and workout routines inspired from the decade. ABC sticks with their moneymaker, opting for a recap show of last night’s performances on Dancing With the Stars.
• Annie and Naomi stop arguing enough to deal with the arrival of their stepbrother in a new 90210 on The CW, also featuring appearances by Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth. It’s war games for the gang on CBS’s NCIS.
• Foreman takes on a case with no involvement with House on FOX, while the old adage that the patient always lies comes into play again with an emancipated teen suffering with fluid in her lungs (to start with).
• Tony Danza guests on Lifetime’s Rita Rocks, where Rita gets Jay in trouble with his buddies by revealing that he cried at the end of Charlotte’s Web. At 8:40p/7:40p, BBC America’s Gavin & Stacey features Bryn trying to throw a surprise party for Gwen.

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Oxygen

8:00p/7:00 Central

• While ABC Family deals with Johnny’s accident on Lincoln Heights, Dr. House and team tackle a man with accidental blackouts and time lapses over on FOX. Meanwhile, is Cuddy ready to adopt?
• Over on CBS, a killer plays a game of cyber cat and mouse on NCIS, because killers always think that makes them look cool. Alternately, Rita demands respect of her own on Lifetime’s Rita Rocks when she starts to feel her kids are taking her for granted. That one’s on at 8:30p/7:30 Central.
• It was only a matter of time, but it looks like our first 90210 kid is checking into rehab on The CW tonight. Also, Ryan learns more about Kimberly than he could have ever suspected.
• One of the contestants sets a new record on The Biggest Loser on NBC at the weigh in. Nessa and Smithy see the first scans of their baby, while Stacey is less than thrilled with Essex life on BBC America’s Gavin & Stacey at 8:40p/7:40 Central.

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TBS

8:00p/7:00 Central

• Before the next elimination, check out a recap of the season so far on ABC’s Dancing With the Stars: Recap Special. In other reality programming, it’s time for a six-week checkout on NBC’s The Biggest Loser.
• Alternately, Lifetime continues their week long premiere for Rita Rocks with another new episode. Or, if you want to know more about Thirteen’s personal life, and her lesbian love life, tune into FOX for a new House. Whats Lizzie going to do on a new Lincoln Heights on ABC Family? Will it be Johnny or Devin? BBC America’s Gavin & Stacey worries about a whole different kind of who when Smithy learns who the father of  Nessa’s baby is.
• Over on CBS, Gibbs comes face to face with Agent Fornell while tracking a marine’s murderer on NCIS.

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We

8:00p/7:00 Central

• The ALCS Game 4 gets under way on TBS with Tampa Bay now on a roll and in control, up two games to one. But if baseball’s not your thing, maybe you’d rather watch the contestants of NBC’s The Biggest Loser face the longest challenge in show history, from sunup to sundown. For other competition fare, ABC’s Opportunity Knocks visits “The Long Island Brady Bunch,” a brood with nine children.
• Scripted options include a new Lincoln Heights on ABC Family wherein the family reels after a shooting. You can follow that up with BBC America’s Gavin & Stacey at 8:40p/7:40 Central in which the couple returns from their honeymoon and Nessa’s secret is finally revealed. Yeah, I said this was on last week, but BBC America bumped the schedule a week so it’s on tonight instead.
• Gibbs learns more about his past on CBS’s NCIS as a murder case leads to the town he grew up in. Ralph Waite guests as his father. Meanwhile, over on FOX’s House, the titular doctor’s father dies and as he reluctantly goes to the funeral we learn how he and Wilson first met. Oh, and someone almost dies and is saved at the last second.

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The CW

8:00p/7:00 Central

• With baseball over until Thursday, all the sports fans will be tuning into ABC’s Dancing With the Stars to see the Rockettes, Jennifer Hudson and Kool and the Gang. Yes, you heard me right: Kool and the Gang! Or maybe some of them could sign up for NBC’s The Biggest Loser. I know it’s hard to believe, but there are a few overweight sports fans.
• With the election a month away, is it any wonder that politics are coming front and center in your favorite shows? On NCIS a prominent senator turns to Gibbs for help after a naval officer is murdered.
• Annie and Ethan hook up for that classic school project where they take care of a baby on The CW’s 90210. Awww! Oh, and Jennie Garth heads off for sunnier pastures.
• For comedy, you have Lincoln Heights on ABC Family, and still have ten minutes to flip over to BBC America at 8:40p/7:40 Central for the second series premiere of Gavin & Stacey with the titular couple returning from their honeymoon.
• Or watch MyNetwork TV’s Street Patrol hitting up LA, Albequerque and Palm Beach tonight.

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MTV

8:00p/7:00 Central

• The Laut Family competes for a cruise and tickets to a Hannah Montana concert on the second isntallment of the traveling game show Opportunity Knocks on ABC. MyNetwork TV’s Street Patrol tackles people who scalped Hannah Montana tickets … okay, I made that last one up. It’s just more idiots trying to dodge the law.
• The weight loss competition continues over on NBC’s feel good The Biggest Loser, while the feel-good family drama of ABC Family’s Lincoln Heights continues it’s ten episode run. And the whirlwind romance of Gavin & Stacey on BBC America leads them to the altar tonight in the first “series” finale. “Series” two starts next week.
• Brenda and Kelly continue their limited run on 90210, as Annie and Adrianna get an opportunity to work on an indie film while Debbie prepares to shoot a fashion show on The CW.
• On CBS’s NCIS, a navy lieutenant’s suicide may have larger implications and connections. Also digging up more dirt, only this time on his own team, is House on FOX’s megahit. And the case of the week involves how drugs have distorted an artist’s vision. Where was Dr. House when Dali was painting?

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