Last night, I settled in front of my TV, excited to spend three joy-filled hours fast-forwarding through the Super Bowl to get to the commercials. Even though a few had popped up online in the days before the game, I avoided them to make sure I could have the “proper” viewing experience. I even made sure to have my 3-D glasses ready to go. I was all set for an evening full of awesome and needlessly expensive new ads, but then something weird happened: they all kind of sucked.

I honestly don’t even remember most of what I watched, since they were just so relentlessly mediocre. A few, however, stood out. The Alec Baldwin Hulu commercial, for instance, was hilarious. It, in fact, was the only ad I truly loved. I’m not here to talk about that though. What I want to talk about is the really messed up Doritos commercial that aired in which a man uses the power of Doritos to take off a woman’s clothes in the middle of a busy public street.

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