Seven backdrops I’d rather stand in front of than American Idol
The holidays are over and, with that, so is the massive shopping frenzy that attacked the malls across America. So, you’ve got a few crappy things for Christmas that need exchanging, and in your bestest and cheeriest of moods, you head to the mall to brave the return lines during what should be your lunch hour … which turns into two hours, since it took 45 minutes to find a parking space, 30 minutes to wait for the old hag at the head of the line to sift through purse lint to find a nickel, and … but lo! What’s this? An American Idol backdrop, right here in the mall! Move over Santa — there’s a new, more idiotic photo op in town!
Oh, I wish I were kidding. Starting today, malls across the country will be sporting the backdrops pictured above, where crazed lunatics fans can stand in front of the American Idol logo, and shadows that look nothing like them, in order to get a picture taken for … well hell, I have no idea why. I especially love that they tell you where to stand. Simon judging your lame performance not included.
Here are seven show backdrops I’d rather be caught standing in front of than American Idol:
Has TV ruined me for movies?
I fondly remember my movie-going days, and not just because of the tasty popcorn. I enjoyed two-hour feature films: the action, the special effects, even the — gasp! — chick flicks.
Visiting the theater slowly morphed into a love affair with Netflix, and feature films were a twice-weekly occurrence in our household.
Then I discovered TV. Sure, I always watched television shows, but I mean I really discovered TV. (I blame Keith for being sucked down into this point of no return.) Everything I like about TV now bugs me about feature films. Let me explain.
The Wire virgin’s diary – drug dealing, bureaucracy, and cops on the street
(Season 1, Episodes 1-6)
About a month ago, I asked all my fellow TV fans to help me figure out which show I should be catching up on via DVD. Now, Dexter did win by a comfortable margin, and I plan on watching it, but I ended up choosing The Wire. In my defense, I was going to start Dexter until I saw that season 1 is due out on Blu Ray in January. Plus, The Wire is over and I can experience the whole thing without having to wait for it to come back on the air.
Well, I’m halfway through season one at this point, and I’m really digging The Wire…
How to survive TV’s hiatus
Breathe. I know it’s been a long time since your favorite shows have been on, but you’re going to be OK. I’m sure of it. Well, almost sure, but since this post is about thinking positive, go back to that breathing thing.
If you are feeling that emptiness in the pit of your heart, that space that is longing to be filled with quality, scripted programming never before seen, you have at least a week to wait, perhaps a bit more. It doesn’t have to be spent pining away, sitting in front of your television with your remote, going blindly from one station to another, hoping upon hope you’ll click onto something that will give your life meaning. That won’t happen, but you can entertain yourself while waiting for your favorite shows to come back.
Quotation Marks – Holiday songs, transvestites and drinking
(Week of Dec. 20, 2008)
Since it’s the week before Christmas and most shows are in reruns, we’re kind of light on quotes this week. Nevertheless, we still managed to get some gems. Check out some of our favorite quotes from this past week and add your own to the comments.
How I Met Your Mother:
Barney made up several Holiday songs to extol the virtues of Ted’s little sister.
(to the tune of “Jingle Bells”)
Pulling down her pants, yanking off my own
Underneath the mistletoe, I’ll make your sister moan!
Oh, Heather’s hot, Heather’s hot, we’ll go all the way ….
Tonight on the tube: Dexter, Survivor & Californication finales
Spotlight Show of the Night
Survivor: Gabon (8:00 p.m./7:00 p.m. Central, 17th Season Finale) – It’s amazing that after seventeen seasons, this show can be just as compelling as it was the first time around. And the formula hasn’t been messed with that much. It all comes down to the fact that we’re dealing with real people. This has been one of the better seasons in awhile.
We had the underdogs, in Kenny and Crystal, turn the game around to make themselves the power players. In turn, though, they were undone by their own success as Crystal was eliminated by a new power player in Sugar last week. What that leaves us with is a very satisfying Final Five. Only Susie’s near invisibility makes you question her place, but that’s a power in itself considering she was targeted for early elimination almost on day one. Still Susie, Bob, Sugar, Matty and Kenny have all played uniquely strong games. The big question is can Kenny pull his own ass out of the fire now that the power has shifted away from him.
Tonight on the tube: The Amazing Race ends & Robot Chicken returns
7:00p/6:00 Central
- Saudi officials aren’t worried that we’re going to spend less on their oil. That’s what they’re telling CBS’s 60 Minutes. ABC offers a special look behind the scenes with Ty Pennington on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
- NBC says It’s Football Night in America, in case you weren’t sure. Meanwhile, the new CW Sunday continues with the second installment of Jericho.
- The first two of three King of the Hill repeats kicks off the night. These are for the West Coast as the rest of us will be dealing with the NFL. TLC is offering up a look at Superhuman Strength.
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