A few months back, I took cursor to digital paper and wrote an ode to shows that I’ve lost over the years. With yet another network television season complete, I believe it’s time to revisit that list, and add an addendum cataloging the massacre that accompanies the close of each season.

For all of you still out there fighting the good fight for these shows, this should in no way be seen as final. I’d love to come back and correct myself. So, keep sending those watches, bulletproof vests, lottery tickets, live butterflies, pitchforks, or whatever else you can think of. But, if this is the end, I figure now’s as good a time as any to pay my respects. And, if you’re wondering why the following’s light on the jokes … the fresher the wound, the deeper the hurt.

I’ve already written about the plight of The Unusuals. A lot of people have applied the show’s title to the conceit, and either used it as a pro or a con for what they see as different or ordinary, respectively. The only thing “unusual” about the show was the following: it was great from the get go. Sure, each character had a quirk, and there was an otherwise infrequently seen mix of excitement and comedy to the scripts, but what stood out the most for me was honestly how enjoyable an hour it was to spend in front of my television. I’d absolutely love to see it live to air another day (beyond closing out the episodes already in the can), but if it’s not to be, at least it went out as great from beginning to end. Read the rest of this entry »

To the bean counters and pole sitters over at ABC:

You’re toying with my emotions. Here I am in a fragile enough state, what with the economy plunging down the water slide of recession. Now I’m hearing news that one of the banes of my existence, one of the thorns in my side, one of my pet peeves may soon be coming to an end.

What I’m hearing is According to Jim, otherwise known as The Show That Will Never Die, could be ending its eight-year run this May after several weeks of double-episode runs that will replace Homeland Security, U.S.A. Many industry folk are saying once the last dozen or so episodes begin airing in late March it will be the end of the line for Jim and his family’s first run life (though they will continue until the end of time in syndication).

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We’ve gotten some interesting tidbits of programming news this week. Let’s talk a look at them and see what they mean.

First, the fabulous news that TNT has picked up Leverage for another season came our way on Monday. A whopping fifteen episodes have been ordered, which makes season two a tad bit longer than the thirteen-episode season one. I am thrilled to get to see more of my favorite new show this season; I’m not hidin’ it.

Next, we’ve got the news that Kyle XY will not be renewed by ABC Family once season three ends. That means it’s canceled, folks, and we’ve got an exclusive mild spoiler about how season three ends and what might be in store for wrapping up Kyle XY in a satisfying way to the readers.

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(Season 2, Episode 13 – “La Vie En Pose” )

This was a bittersweet episode of Lipstick Jungle — bitter because everyone and their mother were fighting about one thing or another, and sweet because the ending was a compilation of scenes from previous episodes. It’s clear that they don’t think we’ll be seeing any more of the girls.

While this wasn’t my favorite episode of the series, I’ll still be sad if this is the end. Brooke Shields, Kim Raver, and Lindsay Price are dynamic actresses who work well together. They’re fun to watch, even if the storylines in this episode seemed a bit forced, as if the writers decided they’d better ring every last fight and argument they could out of it. They sure know how to suck the life out of a dying series.

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FOX

To the programming executives at FOX (if there are any; for all I know the programming is done by a monkey pressing a button on a TRS-80 once an hour):

We need to have a serious talk, because I believe you may have some problems. Mainly, you like to call ‘Wolf!’ a lot. Or, in modern times, you like to call ‘Fire!’ in a crowded theatre or ‘Liberal!’ in a room full of Republicans. Any way you do this results in panic, anger, and confusion by the surrounding crowd. Then, without hesitation, you turn around and say that the wolf or the fire or the liberal didn’t really exist and all is well and good in the world.

You’re befuddled, aren’t you? What I’m talking about here in the metaphoric sense is the way you program your primetime schedule. One minute you’re shouting about a cancellation or a schedule change and the next you’re doing a flip-flop that would make any politician proud and keeping everything status quo. Because you do this so often it’s hard for us, the viewers that keep your ad revenues up, to believe you.  Look, I see you shrugging in complete ignorance. So, I’ll give you two perfect examples of what I mean: King of the Hill and Bones.

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