Julia Hass is back Guest-clacking for us again, after she kicked some ass with her post, the 15 most kickass women on television.

Hi, my name is Julia Hass, and I have an addiction to bad reality television.

It started, in a truly Freudian manner, with my mother. She got me in my prime adolescent years hooked first to The Bachelor and then Beauty and the Geek, using them as a bonding mechanism and conversation starter, which is the kind of parenting through television I think more people should get behind. I learned a lot of things from those formative television-watching hours, but the most important thing I learned was that no matter how badly complicated my life was, it was never as truly, completely ridiculous as the lives of people on television. It was a thrilling and wonderful realization. I was hooked.

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Dear Network Suits,

Did you ever see Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels? Go with me here. There’s a scene where a bunch of the bad guys are locked in a security cage, and being shot from the rafters. The leader, finally fed up with the situation, bellows out, “Could everyone stop getting shot?!” It’s a great line, and that’s kind of how I feel when I hear yet another network tagging a promo with “produced by Ashton Kutcher.” Could everyone stop ordering these crappy shows?

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