CliqueClack TV » X-Files, The

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Everybody wants what Mulder has

Jason Hughes — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 19:00:35 +0000

(Season 3, Episodes 21-24)

Less on the aliens and more on the government cover-up side of things as the third season winds to a close. Weirdly, the finale didn’t leave me as much on the edge of my seat as I expected, though I’m glad that I only have to wait a week to find out what happens.

Can you believe it’s been three years already? It feels like we just started this project over the summer. Oh how far our little agents have come, as well as the technology they use. It’s still beepers and giant cell phones, but they’re getting there.

3.21 – “Avatar”
(Original Air Date: April 26, 1996) It was nice to finally get inside the man we know as Skinner. I’m not surprised that he failed at marriage, considering how secretive he is, as well as being prone to bursts of anger. Kind of the way he treated Mulder and Scully, despite the fact that they were trying to keep him from going down for a murder he didn’t commit.

I’m a little disappointed that this episode left as many questions as it did. Was the succubus anything more than Skinner’s imagination? Who was the man who tried to kill his wife? Was the plot just a scheme to get Skinner fired so that who ever is behind everything has a better shot of dismantling the x-files?

As a stand-alone exploration of Walter Skinner, this was a very good episode. As a chapter in the larger conspiracy storylines, I was left a little disappointed. It did seem like it was trying to be a bit of both.

3.22 – “Quagmire”
(Original Air Date: May 3, 1996) Tyler Labine repeats his amazing performance as “Stoner,” again being all stoned and stuff. This time about a Loch Ness Monster kind of creature that may or may not be in the lake our story brings Agents Mulder and Scully to.

There were some genuinely funny moments in this episode. The fake dinosaur footprints, never fully explored what he was up to though we can imagine it was to perpetuate the hoax of “Big Blue.” Even more so, though, was Scully and Mulder being “trapped” on that rock on the middle of the night, despite shore being only several feet away.

Ultimately, I think the point of this episode was to cruelly kill Scully’s dog Queequeg. And the dog was only there so Scully could realize Mulder was Captain Ahab from Moby-Dick. And yet it was just an alligator all along. Except, there’s Big Blue. Look, everyone! Look!

You’re too late. As always.

3.23 – “Wetwired” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: May 10, 1996) I remember when television violence begetting real violence was all the rage and paranoia in the ’90s, so it’s fun to think that this episode came out around that time making fun of the whole thing.

It’s not the television shows themselves, it’s the subliminal messages someone is intentionally feeding you. Only the color blind will be spared! That saved Mulder, but Scully succumbed to her own paranoia and blamed Mulder for everything that’s happened to her over the course of the series.

We also started to gain a greater distrust for the mysterious X. He set Mulder on this trail so that he would kill the men responsible, because X didn’t want to. But he had to anyway. And now he’s meeting with the Smoking Man?

3.20 – “Talitha Cumi” [MythArc] – SEASON FINALE!
(Original Air Date: May 17, 1996) Man, there was a lot going on in this episode. We had the Smoking Man screaming at Mulder’s mother, only later to be screamed at by the dead face of Deep Throat. This Jeremiah Smith, however many of him there are, is an interesting fellow.

So’s the shapeshifter pretending to be him, or are they all shapeshifters? One is the Bounty Hunter characters. That makes a nice connection to the weapon Mulder’s mother was protecting that he found. Why does Smoking Man want it so badly? And who all is the Bounty Hunter here to kill?

Cliffhanger!?

Loved the knock-down throwdown between Mulder and X. Mulder seemed to be getting his ass handed to him pretty thoroughly until they pulled their guns on one another. Does this mean they won’t be sending one another letters over the summer from camp?

Photo Credit: FOX

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – “The scientific nature of the whammy.”

Jason Hughes — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 19:37:25 +0000

(Season 3, Episodes 17-20)

These episodes were almost more fun than they had any right to be. No mythology and I didn’t care a whit. Instead, I got to see a lighter side of The X-Files with an incredibly playful storytelling technique.

The Pusher is one of the best characters they’ve come up with. Even though I never watched the series, I had friends who did, and sometimes I’d be at their house when it was on, though I was usually reading, writing or otherwise occupied. And yet, somehow, segments from “Pusher” stuck with me through the years.

3.17 – “Pusher”
(Original Air Date: February 23, 1996) “Cerulean blue is a gentle breeze.”

Such a good, good episode of The X-Files. Robert “Pusher” Modell is on of the most genuinely creepy individuals we’ve come across so far. His ability is so subtle and yet so powerful.

I enjoyed the struggle to catch him, including the clues he kept leaving. It was like reading a classic Batman comic book with The Riddler leaving hints for Batman. Of course he wanted to be caught. He wanted to be notorious and more important he wanted to be noticed.

Brain tumors are a funny thing. Modell gained the ability to push people into doing what he wanted. Eli Stone gained prophetic visions of the future. Maybe we need to develop a superhero team of people with brain tumors. They could have all kinds of abilities.

3.18 – “Teso Dos Bichos”
(Original Air Date: March 8, 1996) I have three cats. Now I’m worried that they’re going to come after me when I least expect it. Maybe invite all their friends over into the basement and lay a trap for me.

I’m not sure this episode really came together quite the way they wanted it to. The idea of disturbing mystical buried remains is all too common, but the deaths were a little haphazard, and what was with all the rats? Didn’t seem to fit a jaguar spirit.

I think they maybe had the kernel of a solid, cohesive idea. It just never came together completely.

3.19 – “Hell Money”
(Original Air Date: March 29, 1996) Poor Detective Chao. What a hot way to go. Speaking of hot, how about 20-something year old Lucy Liu? Even sick, she was beautiful.

The mystical element was almost completely irrelevant in this episode; instead it was a corrupt Chinese lottery-type game that the Agents had to break up. The game was interesting, and I think I saw just about every prominent Asian actor of the time in this one, but as an x-file, it felt a bit ordinary.

3.20 – “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space”
(Original Air Date: April 12, 1996) This episode, on the other hand, was classic X-Files. Alien abductions and government cover-ups. What elevated it to amazing, though, was the way in which it was told.

The scenes of the events we were presented with were dramatic interpretations of stories the different characters were telling. Which means we got the same scene a couple of times, only with people acting differently.

We even got Scully accused of being a man, and Mulder an android. I loved how they both threatened to kill the kid if he ever told.

But the highlights of the episode had to be the wacky guest stars. The late Charles Nelson Reilly was perfect as the eccentric writer, but even more inspired was the casting of Jesse Ventura as one of the men in black. The other one was described as looking a lot like game show host Alex Trebek, and was in fact played by the Jeopardy host. Love it!

I even recognized a much younger looking William Lucking (Piney from Sons of Anarchy) in this one.

Photo Credit: FOX

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – The black oil cometh

Jason Hughes — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 21:34:47 +0000

(Season 3, Episodes 13-16)

The energy and excitement in the middle of season three is definitely there. We’re kind of treading water as far as the bigger story goes, but I think The X-Files has found its groove as a monster-of-the-week show. Right now, those episodes are almost more enjoyable than the “MythArc” installments.

I do enjoy getting deeper into the mystery, but that material is so dense and heavy that it’s almost a relief when it’s just some random demon possession, or planetary alignment wackiness.

3.13 – “Syzygy”
(Original Air Date: January 26, 1996) “Sure. Fine. Whatever.”

What an odd little episode this was. Planetary alignment caused odd behavior from everyone in the small town, including Scully and Mulder. Most odd were a couple of girls whose birthday was the most aligned … or something.

Overall, this episode didn’t really come together in a wholly satisfying way. It’s always fun seeing a little more personality out of our favorite agents, but these changes were so abrupt and barely explained by the cosmic events, that the whole thing felt kind of thrown together.

The only person who knew anything had to run Mulder’s government credit card before she revealed her secrets. About the only redeeming quality was the exaggerations of Scully’s skepticism and Mulder’s sexuality — two of the driving forces of their characters.

Even the case itself just kind of went away when the clock struck midnight, and the girls reverted back to regular girls instead of possessed whatever-they-weres. Was it possession? Do they remember what happened? Does Mulder always drive? Why did Scully run that stop sign?

3.14 – “Grotesque”
(Original Air Date: February 2, 1996) It’s nice to see that after the ’70s, Red Foreman established a successful career in law enforcement, where his anger could be best utilized. Kurtwood Smith plays pissed off better than anyone.

Here he got to play crazed, over-obsessed killer, too. Well, maybe the killer. Or was it Mulder? The Russian? On the surface it seems fairly straightforward; maybe the Russian started the killings, but then Patterson (Smith) lost it and continued.

The “x-file” explanation is that it was a demonic/gargoyle entity that possessed the Russian, and then possessed Patterson. Perhaps it was tapping into Mulder as well. I didn’t see any connections between this and the Disney Gargoyles show, though.

The gargoyle masks over the victims were appropriately creepy. There were a lot of good visuals in this episode, as well as tension. There was also a lot of confusion. Maybe I wasn’t paying close enough attention to it.

3.15 – “Piper Maru (Part 1 of 2)” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: February 9, 1996) If Johanson had the black oil in his eyes after his encounter during World War II, where did it go? The same place Krycek deposited his toward the end of this two-parter?

In the modern era, the black oil that came up from the sunken plane within a French diver — how did it get through his suit? — winds its way through his wife, and ultimately into Krycek. It also gives the power of radiating a bright light that knocks people out. Handy, that.

Seemingly unrelated, but really everything is related, the case against Scully’s sister has been made inactive by the powers-that-be, because that’s the way they want it. A.D. Skinner doesn’t like it (I love how characters actually call him A.D. Skinner), and vows to try and push to re-open the case, and look over the evidence himself. That kind of attitude will get you shot, Skinner … oh.

Strong visual with the live pilot still on the sunken plane at the bottom of the sea. I guess the sea pressure wasn’t that bad. The radiation poison related to the oil, and everything else, was suitably creepy and dangerous. But Mulder and Oil-Krycek together? Even better!

3.16 – “Apocrypha (Part 2 of 2)” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: February 16, 1996) I think the Syndicate is losing patience with Cigarette-Smoking Man’s inability to keep things contained on his end. Too many loose ends, including Krycek and Luis Cardinal (the man who murdered Scully’s sister).

By the end, Cardinal is dead, Krycek has ejected the black oil into some sort of ship (maybe), and is detained deep beneath those 100 silos that aren’t filled with concrete.

So in the end, we didn’t get any closer to the truth about everything that’s really going on, but we did get to see some nasty oil. What is it? Why’s Krycek trapped down there? What’s CSM up to? Yeah, it’s mostly the same questions we had before, but it was a fun ride not learning much else.

Photo Credit: FOX

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – From stigmata to cockroaches

Jason Hughes — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:36:12 +0000

(Season 3, Episodes 9-12)

From serious to surprisingly wacky, the middle of season three saw The X-Files continue a string of strong episodes. Methinks the show has definitely found its stride.

The dynamic between Mulder and Scully is so great to watch, especially when they’re separated from one another. Thank god for cell phones, or most of this wouldn’t work. In the first season, when they were trying to track one another down by pay phones and hotel room phones, it was much more complicated. Technology is The X-Files‘ friend.

3.9 – “Nisei (Part 1 of 2)” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: November 24, 1995) If only Mulder’d had Bluetooth, he might not have lost his giant, bulky cell phone when he jumped on the train. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I’m glad to see the show delving a little deeper into Scully’s abduction. It now definitely seems not extraterrestrial, but rather part of some secret government experiment. And the Japanese are involved, too.

Speaking of which, the alien hybrid theory Mulder is touting gained a little leverage, at least visually for the audience. This episode was very much a set-up to the payouts in the next one.

I did love the shout out about the horribly fake alien autopsy FOX had aired back in the ’90s. Way to dig at your network, Scully!

3.10 – “731 (Part 2 of 2)” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: December 1, 1995) “Apology is Policy”

Ah, yes. The little alien hybrid looking people/creatures. What is their true story? Regardless of which conspiracy theory you believe, the wholesale slaughter of people like we saw her is deplorable.

The government, or at least the factions of it involved in the cover-ups this show is focused on, are truly cold and heartless bastards. I’d be scared to death to tackle them alone, or with a partner. But I guess that’s the point. Still, I’d expect to have my throat slit every night.

The sequences on the train were very cool. Suspenseful, like a summer blockbuster movie. Of course, it was all for naught. The journal Mulder confiscated was replaced with a dupe and the Cigarette Smoking Man gets away with it again. Whatever “it” is.

3.11 – “Revelations”
(Original Air Date: December 15, 1995) Throughout this episode, it was so interesting to see the dichotomy between Mulder and Scully completely flipped on its head. With the boy showing stigmata markings, Scully suddenly found herself believing miraculous occurrences based on her faith, while Mulder was completely skeptical.

I suspect it was intentional to really make us think. Here’s your scientific rational character completely abandoning those tenets when faced with the possibility of the divine.

On the other side, Mulder will believe almost any supernatural occurrence you throw at him without a second thought, and yet he vehemently balks at the possibility of that supernatural having a Christian basis. Interesting twists.

3.12 – “War of the Coprophages”
(Original Air Date: January 1, 1996) That may have been the most uniquely bizarre episode of The X-Files I’ve seen yet. For one thing, it has more genuinely humorous moments than the whole series combined so far.

I loved Mulder in the thick of this bizarre case while Scully is at home watching television, reading a book or eating ice cream. “Do you want me to come up there?” asked over and over again, but he kept denying it.

The whole concept of the cockroaches themselves was bizarre. People were dying, but there was a wackiness to the whole thing. And yet, Mulder and Scully were playing it straight throughout. Scully in the convenience store trying to calm the panic was brilliant.

17-year old Tyler Labine as a stoner was so perfect. I almost didn’t recognize him, he’s so young and a bit thinner. But that signature spiked hairdo was in full effect.Nice to see that fourteen years hasn’t changed him much.

My favorite scene though was when the cockroach crawled across my television screen. A little shout-out to the audience to get our own spook factor up. Brilliant! Bizarre, yes. But brilliant.

Photo Credit: FOX

The top 100 SciFi shows – Behind the scenes at CliqueClack TV

Richard Keller — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:00:29 +0000

We here at CliqueClack TV are many things: caring, charitable, dashingly handsome (or beautiful), and passionate. Very passionate. We’re so passionate that we make a Harlequin romance novel seem like a teenage sex romp. This is especially true when it comes to Internet “Top xxx” lists. When one comes out with a listing of television series, the proverbial gloves come off.

This time around, it was a list of the Top 100 science fiction/fantasy shows of all time that pissed off produced a lively debate at the CliqueClack offices. Here are a few of the comments made by our fine staff of writers.

KEITH: What a weird list. Some make sense, others are way out of left field. How can they even include a show like Warehouse 13 in the list at all, when the show’s so new? And to put Dollhouse in the top 20 so soon?

BOB: I love Firefly, but number three on the list seems like a big stretch, especially with X-Files only at seven? The more I look at it, the wronger it seems. Twilight Zone is only 12? And if Buffy is at 6, how the heck is Angel way back at 26? Makes no sense….

KONA: I’m not even a sci-fi/fantasy fan, and I can tell this list is bullshit. The Twilight Zone is one of the GREATEST SHOWS EVER MADE. Fuck Max Headroom.

ANNIE: Stuff like Jake 2.0 seems kind of out-of-nowhere (unless it’s just me that didn’t really care for it, despite really liking Christopher Gorham). Also, is it safe for Alf and the Thundercats to be that close together on the list?

IVEY: The list is jacked, and some of their explanations are just as bad. In the bit about Angel they use Gunn’s addition as a positive. Way to take the least developed character on the show and use him as justification. And Kona has it right. Max Headroom?

SCOTT: Twilight Zone should be number one. Fringe is way too high at #18. And Airwolf was neither sci-fi or fantasy. It was a fuckin’ high-tech helicopter!

BRETT: On the one hand, the list is very good, for the simple fact that it’s an “Internet” list. And as the Internet always does, everything related to Joss Whedon has been over-valued. Seriously, put up a poll about anything, and put something vaguely Whedon related in it. Look at Dollhouse. Top 20 of ever, and even the people that make the show have basically agreed that half the episodes are not good. Fringe’s oddly high ranking signals that Abrams is the next coming of Whedon in that regard.

Looking at it objectively, it’s just a frickin’ train wreck. Worse, even their attempt at an explanation doesn’t help. “We did try to look at a show’s popularity at the time it was on the air, how much of a cult following its garnered since it ended (if it’s already ended), and how much influence it had on other TV shows and pop culture as a whole.” And then LEXX is 34?

I loved LEXX, but fuck if I’ve ever met anyone else who watched it. It actually fails at all their qualifications. Nobody watched it when it was on. There’s no cult following since it ended. And the only thing it may have influenced was the “made for no money” SciFi Saturday movies. Yeah, the LEXX legacy is Aztec Rex.

The one omission that stands out to me is Invasion. With so many one and done shows on the list, I don’t know how that one didn’t make it. Or is my copy of the Internet missing that overwhelming Jake 2.0 cult following?

JASON: They missed Woops!, too. And The Charmings. If Max Headroom can be that high, then those can be on the list! Misfits of Science?

BRETT: Since ratings success and longevity are not concerns, I’d put Global Frequency on the list too.

RICH: I’m surprised they had Get Smart and not Man From U.N.C.L.E. And, they had SeaQuest, but not Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, which moved so far into sci-fi/fantasy that it was a totally different show at the end.

KONA: I used to watch Get Smart on Nick at Night all the time. I never would have said it was a sci-fi show. Why is it even on the list? Because he had a shoe phone? Who doesn’t have a shoe phone? That is Science FACT.

Finally, to sum it all up, a comment by the young and beautiful Julia:

JULIA: Yes, I, uh, am totally enraged! About! All these shows I’ve never watched! How dare they…. or…. something.
Rar!

Photo Credit: io9

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Four very bad men in a row

Jason Hughes — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 16:00:51 +0000

(Season 3, Episodes 5-8)

Well, this week we look at how The X-Files deals with bad men. Some of them have supernatural abilities. Some of them don’t. But they all have one thing in common: They’re men who are bastards.

And they’re men who do terrible things to other people. It got to where I was looking for a woman to do something bad, just so I wouldn’t start hating my gender. Scully, double park! Hey lady, shoplift that package. But alas, the women wouldn’t have it. They were too busy being victims. Which really isn’t much better, is it?

3.5 – “The List”
(Original Air Date: October 20, 1995) That was odd. Mulder and Scully not only failed to solve the case, they kind of just abandoned it. What a weird episode. Mulder didn’t even get to take down the warden, who legally will get away with multiple murders. And the guards get away with covering it up?

Of course, the warden paid with his life ultimately, but that was more because of the supernatural elements. It’s kind of a dark episode, because the murder list was the five people who wronged a death row inmate. But as he was a cold-blooded psychopath, are those five people really deserving of death?

Then you’ve got his wife going crazy and killing her boyfriend, the warden beating inmates to death, and nobody living happily ever after. Man, I don’t know how to feel about all of that.

3.6 – “2Shy”
(Original Air Date: November 3, 1995) Considering when this episode aired, I’ll bet it was one of the earliest dramatic warnings about online predators, as it was a fairly new problem at the time. The episode was extremely well put together in every way, and left me far more satisfied than the previous one.

The use of the landlady’s blind daughter toward the end was also brilliantly handled, as was Timothy Carhart’s performance as the killer (by the way, was it just me or did Carhart slightly resemble a young Timothy Hutton?). Here we have yet another anomalous human who must kill for some genetic problem he has. A bit of a theme, yes?

I found myself wanting to know what will happen to him the longer he is able to go without feeding on the fatty tissue he needs to survive. He certainly looked like hell going out of this one.

3.7 – “The Walk”
(Original Air Date: November 10, 1995) Since, from what I can tell, Ian Tracey does in fact have arms and legs, I’ll give credit where it’s due to the makeup department for this episode. There were some moments when he was in the bed with his arm stumps visible, that I suspected they were fake, but all in all it was a good fake-out.

I’m beginning to sense a theme. Episode after episode we have Mulder and Scully coming in to save people from a man with some sort of supernatural ability. This one’s psychic projection, and this guy is about as cold-blooded as they come.

It was interesting that Scully said the military was denying the existence of Gulf War Syndrome, so I suspect this episode was in response to that. We’re supposed to think this solder’s a victim of the war he was in, and the mental condition he developed while there. But he came across like a remorseless murderer of the worst kind, killing the loved ones of people he felt had wronged him.

I felt particularly bad for the man who scalded his entire body in an attempt to die, after his family had been killed. I applauded his ultimate murder of the quadruple amputee killer, but it was still tragic seeing him in the final moment working the mail circuit.

3.4 – “Oubliette”
(Original Air Date: November 17, 1995) I feel kind of dirty now. In Firefly, I thought Jewel Staite was pretty cute. Now here she is a twelve year old and she’s just a child. Okay, this was long before Firefly, but it was certainly jarring seeing that familiar face on a young child (and yes, I picked that picture so you could all feel as weird about it as I did).

That said, for a child she did a bang-up job as a kidnap victim. I always wonder how difficult a role like that is for a kid to play. I wish I could also praise the acting performance of the former abductee in this saga, Lucy Householder (Tracey Ellis). Unfortunately, I thought she was stiff in her delivery, and despite a few moments deeper into the episode, she pulled me out of the drama with every utterance.

I did like the bizarre connection the abducted girls shared, and that Lucy was able to choose to sacrifice her life to save Amy (Staite). It does leave Lucy’s entire life a bit of a tragedy. She didn’t look as if she’d recovered from her ordeal as a child, and ultimately she died reliving the experience. Still, maybe she got some peace in knowing that another child would not have to suffer as she had.

Photo Credit: JewelStaite.com

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – The Syndicate rears its powerful head

Jason Hughes — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:00:30 +0000

(Season 3, Episodes 1-4)

Parts two and three of the death of Fox Mulder, tons of revelations about the underlying conspiracy substructure and appearances by three familiar faces in guest roles. What a fun way to start the third season.

3.1 – “The Blessing Way (Part 2 of 3)” [MythArc] – SEASON PREMIERE!
(Original Air Date: September 22, 1995) It looks like this was their first look at what a feature length X-Files film could be like. And it worked, so long as they were sticking with the major conspiracy storylines; something I hear the latest movie didn’t do.

I won’t say I’m stunned that Mulder is still alive; he is, after all, the star of the show. But I’m enjoying the runaround that Scully’s been on trying to figure out the truth.

Interesting that the consortium of powerful companies, the Syndicate, had its own “deep throat” who tracked down Scully and warned her enough to save her life. Too bad the same can’t be said for her sister. At the rate Mulder and Scully are running out of family members, I expect them to both be orphans by the end of this season.

Skinner continues to elude me as far as his ultimate loyalties. I want to believe that he’s on the side of Scully and Mulder. In fact, I do believe that but he does make it difficult. I’ll attribute it to him having to play his cards so close to the vest due to a certain smoking fella breathing down his neck.

By the way, why the hell does Cancer Man spend so much time in Skinner’s office? Doesn’t he have one of his own? It seems like every time we see Skinner’s office, he’s hanging out. Maybe he’s lonely.

3.2 – “Paper Clip (Part 3 of 3)” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: September 29, 1995) So way back when, they were originally going to abduct Fox instead of Samantha? So much going on in this episode, and so much falling apart around CSM (Cigarette-Smoking Man).

It was great seeing him fumbling around, and seeing that he answers to this Syndicate and isn’t as all-powerful as he would lead you to believe. It’s one of those beautiful things. When your boss is chewing you out and looking all bold and powerful, it’s probably because his boss just chewed him out … “It’s the circle of abuse. It wounds us all!”

If I’m following this correctly, Skinner now has some pretty substantial leverage on CSM. After all, CSM has lied to the Syndicate and sworn that the tape and its contents are destroyed. He also indicated that Krycek was dead.

Speaking of which, Krycek is one of the worst assassins ever, but he’s good at saving his own neck. I guess he’ll be back to cause trouble. Probably work with Mulder and Scully. That’s how these shows do it. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Of course, he killed Mulder’s father and Scully’s sister so that’s quite a fence to mend. At least the kids got their jobs back, right? That needed to be done so we can get to these “monster-of-the-week” cases that take up most of every season.

3.3 – “D.P.O.”
(Original Air Date: October 6, 1995) Hey check it out. It’s Giovanni Ribisi. That’s pr– Is that Jack Black!? Holy crap, I had no idea either one of those guys did The X-Files. How weird to see them circa fourteen years ago. But why does Ribisi always play mentally challenged people, or at least “a little slow” folks?

One of the things that’s the most fun about going back and watching shows like this is to see how many familiar faces I’ll see. Many of them were just getting their starts in the industry when they made these guest spots.

So if the kids were playing that fighting game, then why did I keep hearing the tune from Sonic the Hedgehog so loudly? Nearby machine dominating the audio? It was flashing me back to my college days. I had a friend who loved Sonic the Hedgehog, playing it all the time, and was absolutely addicted to The X-Files.

Ribisi played his part well, but it was almost written too harshly for me. I wanted his character to at least have some moral existence. The way he so brutally killed his friend Jack Black (I’m going to call his character that) on suspicion alone took any ability to sympathize with him out of the character.

I think we want to sympathize with the mentally slow, because it’s not their fault. But this kid was a monster through and through. I only worry that he wasn’t killed outright. Can they really keep him held down?

3.4 – “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose”
(Original Air Date: October 13, 1995) Holy crap! Peter Boyle says Mulder’s going to die of autoerotic asphyxiation and Scully isn’t going to die at all. Methinks the writer’s were up to something.

The Mulder death prediction was probably a throwaway gag to his personality, but the Scully one seemed to be more meaningful. Add it to the fact that she’s been abducted, and it does make one wonder what her intended fate was at this point.

As far as I know she’s still alive, so either they changed their mind, her fate got averted, or it hasn’t happened yet. Maybe they just needed to bring in more psychics.

Not that you could have easily had more than were seen in this episode. Standing tall above all of them was Boyle’s reluctant psychic, Clyde Bruckman. It was a heart-wrenching performance, as you could just see the sadness oozing out of him.

It was interesting that the killer was so inconsequential that we never even learned his name. This was Bruckman’s story, as well as another key moment in the evolution of Scully toward the realm of the believers. The look on her face when she was sitting there holding his hand at the end of the episode while he died (I say he wasn’t dead yet because of that tear) was exactly as he’d foreseen.

I really enjoyed the balance of humor and pathos throughout. As far as “monster-of-the-week” installments go, this was one of the more emotionally satisfying.

Photo Credit: FOX

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Killer shadow and killer Krycek

Jason Hughes — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 20:00:49 +0000

(Season 2, Episodes 22-25)

Another season comes to an end, and with it comes a much more satisfying progression of The X-Files as a whole. I was getting bored at parts earlier in this season, but they ratcheted up both the quality of the stand-alone episodes, as well as the personal implications of Mulder’s work.

I still think the government would have just “disappeared” Mulder by now. Call Scully up and say, “Mulder quit. Yeah, he’s gone to the Bahamas … What? … No, I mean Iceland. No phones up there … He sends his regards.” Thank god that’s over.

2.22 – “F. Emasculata”
(Original Air Date: April 28, 1995) Hey look, it’s a younger and thinner Dean Norris. And yet he’s portraying a government agent here as well, just like he does on Breaking Bad. It was fun seeing Mulder on a fairly standard manhunt — aside from the bursting pustules.

Speaking of which, didn’t we already do this, only with neck bursting spores rather than pustules? At least the danger is completely contained to the liquid that comes out of those disgusting blobs.

The bus sequence was nerve-racking, though. Watching that boil pulsing toward that kid’s face, I wasn’t sure if they were going to burst it or not. Okay, that’s a lie. It’s an American television show. Of course the kid was going to be okay. They wouldn’t put a death sentence on him for no reason.

2.23 – “Soft Light”
(Original Air Date: May 5, 1995) From one cable star to a much bigger one. Maybe this incident is why Mr. Monk is such a nutcase. If my shadow killed people, I’d be a little high strung as well. Tony Shalhoub was great here, as a scientist who’d accidentally harnessed dark matter into his own shadow.

It was nice to see the government paranoia element return so forcefully. Particularly in that Shalhoub’s Dr. Banton was certain of what his ultimate fate would be, and tragically prophetic about it’s coming to pass. And again, we got to see just how far the government will go in their cover-ups.

I wonder what the impact of The X-Files was on people believing in government conspiracies. The show not only bought into them, but made them the centerpiece of its whole mythology. I have to think people thought about it more during the years the show was a hit, and believed them.

Personally, I’m convinced that Tony Shalhoub’s shadow still kills. They have to film Monk in soft light, and once it’s done, he has to go back to that small chamber so he can scream for the government again and again.

2.24 – “Our Town”
(Original Air Date: May 12, 1995) Look here — local law enforcement that’s more than just a slightly ineffective interference to Scully and Mulder’s investigation. Of course, that’s not to say that Sheriff Tom Arens turned out to be a great ally. Quite the opposite.

I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of small communities in remote areas, with horrible secrets that tie them together; it’s certainly not a novel concept. Nevertheless, it is handled very well here. Particularly in that there was a real threat to the well-being of the agents.

You could feel the growing sense of fear within the community. They really just wanted Mulder and Scully to go away before they uncovered the town’s secrets, but suddenly they’re having a river dragged and wanting to find birth records. Clearly, the little secret was in danger of getting out.

And that lead to the desperation of trying to kill Scully. Everyone wants to live as long and healthy a life as possible, but who’s willing to eat human flesh to achieve those ends? Personally, there’s a neighbor kid that’s been annoying me for quite awhile, and I have been feeling more aches and pains lately from getting older….

2.25 – “Anasazi” [MythArc] – SEASON FINALE!
(Original Air Date: May 19, 1995) Krycek, you bastard! After weekly monster episodes for so long, this episode was almost overwhelming with its inundation of important story matter. Krycek came back in time to kill Mulder’s father, but not before we learned that Papa Mulder may have more involvement in those cover-ups than we first envisioned.

Cancer Man took on a much more active role in the events with this one, and it was cool to see. He’s a very interesting and intimidating character. Less clear is where Skinner really stands on the whole thing. Sometimes he seems to have Mulder’s back, and other times he’s against him. Or seems to be. I think Skinner is in a tough spot right in the middle.

Do you think Scully survived the bullet shot into Mulder’s window because she’s only about four feet tall? It did fly right over her head. But does this mean they’ve finally reached the point where they’re willing to go ahead and snuff Mulder for good?

Speaking of which — where the hell did he go at the end? Trapped in that boxcar under the desert when Cancer Man blew it up, it would seem he was gone. Except there was no sign of him when the agents went down to check. Did Penn & Teller guest star and I didn’t see him?

Maybe there was another rail-car attached, and he found his way into that. Or he buried himself under the pile of human, but not human, but really badly shaped Play-Doh remains and survives the blast. I’m thinking I’m pretty safe in thinking that Mulder survives that blast. Don’t you?

Photo Credit: FOX

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Invisibility, aging, mutation and possession

Jason Hughes — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:00:15 +0000

(Season 2, Episodes 18-21)

Not a mention of The X-Files “MythArc” throughout these four episodes. No sightings of the Cigarette Smoking Man, nor Skinner. The closest we got was animal abductions, which may or may not have been extraterrestrial.

But it didn’t matter. These were some good yarns. As an anthology horror series, The X-Files had the potential to be one of the best. From animal abductees, rapid aging, circus freaks and a bizarre demonic twin possession, the tension just kept right on moving. I’d been getting worried that The X-Files was starting to get boring before this, but that’s certainly not the case anymore.2.18 – “Fearful Symmetry”
(Original Air Date: February 24, 1995) There’s a huge hole in Mulder’s theory. If the animals were being abducted from their cages and then dropped back off invisible several miles away, then how are people getting mauled by invisible animals right outside those cages? Of course, we never get an answer to that.

This episode was powerful in its depiction of the inhumane treatment of animals, and the inadequate facilities many face at zoos. I’ve grown up around St. Louis, and while we have one of the premiere zoos in the nation, I still remember in my youth the elephants living in small pens much like those seen in this episode.

It’s still a work in progress to develop habitats more suitable to the happiness and well-being of the animals we keep in captivity. As for the notion that it takes alien intervention to preserve species that we would push to oblivion, as Mulder says, perhaps it is so. Certainly, we hold little regard for our actions even still.

2.19 – “Dod Kalm”
(Original Air Date: March 10, 1995) Not the best old person make-up on these guys. Plus, in regards to the captain specifically, why would his nails have grown a bit, but no facial hair growth? The early aging make-up used on Mulder, Scully and Trondheim was much better. Perhaps because it wasn’t trying to represent such a dramatic age difference.

The final moments together of Mulder and Scully before their rescue were haunting and poignant. There was a tragic fatalism in the air, but it was one of the more beautifully produced sequences the show has had so far. I just loved the affection the characters clearly had for one another as they faced what they knew were their final moments.

This was an incredibly satisfying episode. A perfect blend of suspense and mystery, and a true danger of impending doom for our protagonists. What more could I want?

2.20 – “Humbug”
(Original Air Date: March 31, 1995) A nice bit of misdirection to open the episode, with us thinking the Alligator Man was the threat. It was refreshing to see him as a caring and loving father; to remind us that not everything can be judged by its package.

Also cute was Scully and Lanny both getting caught staring at one another by one another; him at her cleavage and her at his conjoined twin. And then in unison, they closed their robes. Someone was having fun putting this circus sideshow episode together.

And of course the climactic battle had to happen in a funhouse. I was expecting the Joker to be revealed as the real villain. Still, a disjoined conjoined twin? That’s certainly novel. And then eaten by The Enigma. Gotcha.

It was great seeing Michael J. Anderson. It reminded me how much I miss Carnivale and how HBO really needs to find a way to revive that show. Or at least give us a movie or something. Things are going well now, the money’s coming in. You know you want to!

2.21 – “The Calusari”
(Original Air Date: April 14, 1995) Whenever Scully asks Mulder what he’s going to do when the two of them separate, he never gives her a helpful answer. “To find help” it was here. And she just accepts this? I know it makes for a more dramatic television show, but in real life it would drive her crazy. “Just give me a straight answer for once, damn you!”

Creepy kids are always the worst when it comes to horror. There’s something so much more menacing about an innocent lost to the depths of darkness. I enjoyed The Dark Half aspect of this, with the stillborn twin being the true culprit of the horrors.

It’s the hold that Michael had over Charlie during these episodes that made it more disturbing. Charlie watched his little brother die and had virtually no reaction. Maybe he truly didn’t remember those moments.

The exorcism sequence at the end was particularly disturbing; the kid playing Charlie/Michael did a fantastic job throughout. His exorcism shrieks were particularly harrowing. And he was appropriately sinister in his expressions throughout.

Photo Credit: FOX

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Necrophilia, cults, voodoo and Samantha Mulder?

Jason Hughes — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 14:00:19 +0000

(Season 2, Episodes 13-17)

Things continued to kind of meander along with fairly unimpressive cases, until the big two-parter that brought the “MythArc” about Mulder’s sister right back to the forefront of the series.

I was glad to see the variety of subjects continuing to expand. The demonic cult episode offered a clever little twist on who the real danger was, as did the voodoo episode. It is in turning these conventions around a bit, that The X-Files steps beyond typical horror conventions and becomes something better.2.13 – “Irresistible”
(Original Air Date: January 13, 1995) After all we’ve seen and as many bodies as Scully has performed autopsies on, it struck me as odd throughout this episode that she was so bothered by this “death fetishist.” Was it just a slightly transparent plot device so they could isolate her from Mulder by having her fly back and forth from Washington?

Nick Chundlund did an effective job as killer Donald Pfaster. His stiff and halting delivery of his lines added a sense of menace to everything he said; or he was just a terrible actor and it worked. I imagine that we’ve reached a point in the show’s history where it was a lot of fun for the acting community to come on The X-Files and play a monster.

As for the monster aspect, what was the point of trying to allude that Pfaster was some sort of creature? He grew up human, as evidenced by the childhood photos, and he died human. Is it just psychological fear that makes him look different? Usually we at least get something about the monster aspect from the agents, but this was treated as a very human case throughout.

I got a little worried when Scully was talking to her therapist back in Washington. Here’s where there was a clear supernatural presence. I kept wanting to yell at her to stop opening up. Gladys (Christine Willes) is a demon. We learned that on Reaper. And Willes was just as creepy here as there.

2.14 – “Die Hand Die Verletzt”
(Original Air Date: January 27, 1995) For the second episode in a row, local law enforcement jumps all over the supernatural while Mulder and Scully say thee nay. Last time, it was local FBI thinking the grave desecration was aliens; this time, the sheriff thinks it’s the dark forces of the underlord.

Oh, and I don’t care how into the occult you are, as apparently some of the faculty at Crowley High School are, you aren’t going to set a stack of homework on an exposed human heart in your drawer as one teacher did. How are you going to explain the blood on the last paper? Sloppy, sloppy.

It was kind of cool that the cultists in the show may have actually been victims of the much more sinister Mrs. Paddock. So what’s her story? She’s obviously a good liar, and likes burning her hands. Is there a Mr. Paddock? What’s he like? I’m betting she’s a widow.

2.15 – “Fresh Bones”
(Original Air Date: February 3, 1995) Daniel Benzali is always fun to watch, and he’s great here as a vindictive Colonel taking out his anger issues on Haitian refugees. As such, voodoo was our supernatural element of the week.

The sequence in the graveyard with the voodoo priest (?) climbing out of Scully’s hand to choke her was very well done. The effects were solid, and it was realistically spooky as hell. I wasn’t as sold on Col. Wharton being back alive in the casket, but I guess I can allow for it.

I was already satisfied, though, by the reveal that the young boy Mulder and Scully had been interacting with throughout had died six weeks prior. Who gave Scully the charm that saved her life then? Oooh, spooooky!

2.16 – “Colony (Part 1 of 2)” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: February 10, 1995) A lesson for Fox Mulder. Always look both ways before crossing the street. Come on, man. You should know this by now. Maybe that explains his lapses in judgment.

He seemed to have forgotten his own mantra, “Trust No One.” Hell, Mulder’s been trusting every official agent he’s come across in awhile now. Hell, he’s so determined to trust CIA Agent Ambrose Chapel that he fought with Scully about it. He yelled at her! It was so mean.

They made up over a dead body, because that’s how they bond. They have this special corpse relationship that you and I would never understand.

Brian Thompson has one of the most impressively distinctive jaws I’ve ever seen. He was immediately recognizable here as the pilot. But he’s positively skinny, as compared to his appearances in the early seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and his later work.

Nice job on the reveal connecting Fox’s (maybe) sister to the clone doctors. Though I’m less clear on why Fox’s sister Samantha would be in danger from the shape-shifter dude. Is it because her foster parents were “aliens” or because of something she is now?

The problem is that once you introduce shape-shifters like the pilot, then there’s no one you can believe. It makes episodes like this very difficult to watch as you find yourself suspecting everyone. Except for that inept motel worker who forgot to give Scully Mulder’s message seconds after getting off the phone with him. Senile much?

2.17 – “End Game (Part 2 of 2)” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: February 17, 1995) A-ha, Samantha’s parents were another batch of clones. A-ha, Samantha herself is another batch of clones. So many clones. Don’t they realize that overpopulation is a real problem in this world? We can barely sustain our own people, much less another colony of aliens.

I think this is the first time we see just how much Skinner cares about the well-being of Mulder and Scully; well, more Mulder. I wonder how much slash fiction has been written about those two — on second thought, no I don’t.

I was beginning to think Skinner lived in that office, so it was cool seeing him beating up X in the elevator to get Mulder’s whereabouts. X is a conundrum in himself. He comes across as a badass coward, helping Mulder but terrified every step of the way.

I think it was good of The X-Files to give us such a key chapter in the ongoing mystery regarding Fox’s sister at this point. We need these regular reminders of what this is all about. I was surprised that it would be addressed so directly as it was here, even showing us what Samantha looks like, if anything can be believed.

This not only renews Mulder’s faith in what he’s doing, but renews our faith that at least for now, it looks like Chris Carter and company do as well.

Photo Credit: FOX

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Horny old people and crazy confused kids

Jason Hughes — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 20:00:01 +0000

(Season 2, Episodes 9-12)

Looks like we’ve hit the midseason doldrums a little early here in the second year of The X-Files. It’s a pretty common phenomenon that a lot of shows seem to flounder around in the middle of a 22-episode season before refinding their focus toward the end of the season.

But The X-Files was supposed to be exempt from this, considering that their monster-of-the-week episodes were often considered some of their strongest episodes. So what happened? We did get a “MythArc” episode. Surely that was great.

2.9 – “Firewalker”
(Original Air Date: November 18, 1994) I liked this a little better when it was “Ice” in the first season. Now, it just felt like we were retreading ground we’d already covered, replacing a frozen tundra with a steaming volcano. And yet there was no gratuitous skin. Boo!

Hell, the “bad” was a parasite again that controlled people’s behavior. Granted it seemed that its drive was mostly reproduction. We did get to see the fancy make-up of the spores sticking through their necks.

At the end when Mulder was telling Search and Rescue that it was just him and Agent Scully who needed help, I couldn’t help but think that the other guy could have used some medical lovin’, too. Did you see the charred skin covering half his face. That’s gotta hurt!

2.10 – “Red Museum” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: December 9, 1994) Ah, government experiments, where would this show be without them? But now, there’s a crazy guy who’s onto them, so to expose them he kidnaps the kids and … exposes them? Oh, and he writes messages on their backs to let you know that he or she is one.

Yes, it’s not very clear, but the guy seems to have a few screws loose. And the messages did get the attention of Mulder. I did appreciate the use of the Red Museum as a red herring. But it seemed almost too easy to blame a strange cult-like religion. As if they wanted me to.

But it comes down to strange cow injections that may have been given to the kids as well, turning them into clones of Biff and his friends from Back to the Future. And then we had Deep Throat’s executioner back to clean up this mess. He nearly got all the meat at the processing plant as well in a fiery blaze, but Sheriff “you killed my son” got to him first.

Still, of course there was nothing conclusive anyway. Unknown substances, unidentified executioner body, don’t know, could be, who knows … X-file.

2.11 – “Excelsis Dei”
(Original Air Date: December 16, 1994) I’ve heard stories about old people at nursing homes getting frisky. But I had no idea it was an out-of-body experience for them. (Zing!)

I think I was bothered by the fact that all of the old men in this episode were portrayed as horny perverts who had no control over themselves. Thank God this was before Viagra was in all the nursing homes. Still, even a psychic rape is a pretty significant thing, and nothing was really done about it.

I should think some of them would have some dignity and self-restraint. Then we got the fairly obvious misdirection of the doctor who’s been treating them for Alzheimer’s with impressive improvements shown. But nope, it’s not him. It’s an orderly we discover is from Malaysia with drugs of his own. But then why is he giving them drugs? What was his motivation? To give the writers a plot?

2.12 – “Aubrey”
(Original Air Date: January 6, 1995) We go from “He Is One” and “She Is One” written on kid’s backs two episodes ago to “Sister” being carved on people’s chests. Upping the stakes, I guess. Finally, though, we got an episode with some enjoyable twists and turns.

A younger Terry O’Quinn was fun to watch, even if his character didn’t have much to do. That fell on the woman he’d impregnated. The reveal that she was the granddaughter of the first man to go around carving up people’s chests made for a nice parallel. Maybe she’s possessed by his spirit or something.

But wait, he’s still alive and actually out of jail now just living his life all old and decrepit. So where does that leave us?

Mulder: “Genetic impulse.”

Me: “What?”

Yeah, the explanation here was a little far-fetched. The impulse to kill, while gone from her grandfather passed down to her. Along with his weird facial rash thing? And she just snapped when she found out she was pregnant? Poor thing, now she’s in the loony bin for the rest of her life.

Come on, guys and gals. Let’s pick this show back up and get it back on track. I know things get better from here. Mainly because if this was the consistent level of quality on The X-Files, then it would have never become a phenomenon. I’ll call this your sophomore slump, but no more excuses!

Photo Credit: FOX

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Putting Scully through the wringer

Jason Hughes — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:00:54 +0000

(Season 2, Episodes 5-8)

Thanks for all the tips explaining Scully’s near absence this season after last week’s column. Now that I know she was pregnant, I can’t help but notice all the chest-up angles and seated shots she’s been getting. It was clever of the writers to ultimately work her pregnancy into the story (that pregnant belly looked so real!). I’m assuming they also worked her out of the plot for a bit so she could have the baby. Well done all around on that.

All in all, this was a pretty intense block of episodes. Aside from one vampiric diversion for Mulder, there was a singular focus driving through all four installments, culminating in a bizarre climax that I’m sure we’ll be hearing more about. Oh, and they got to spend an entire episode showcasing how enormous Anderson’s breasts had gotten.

2.5 – “Duane Berry (Part 1 of 2)” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: October 14, 1994) I couldn’t help myself, looking at the little alien costumes at Duane Berry’s bedside. They didn’t look very impressive, but considering the possibility that the whole thing is a government hoax, that may even be part of it. That said, the aliens presence that abducted Mulder’s sister was far more compelling.

All in all, the episode wasn’t very compelling and seemed more a device to set up the next stage of Scully’s “evolution.” We did get to see Mulder in a hostage situation, and we got to enjoy some quality screen time with the venerable CCH Pounder. And is it just me, or does Pounder look identical now as she did then?

2.6 – “Ascension (Part 2 of 2)” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: October 21, 1994) A direct continuation, the whole situation in the prior episode with Duane Berry, the crazy abductee, was so that he could kidnap Scully and lead to her own abduction encounter; in place of him. And, of course, to expose Krycek ultimately as a double agent.

I use the term loosely because technically, he and Mulder are working for the same side, as is Cancer Man, but there are obviously warring factions within the government. Who’s on which side is impossible to determine mostly. Except for Krycek.

And in a nice revelation, Skinner is apparently on the side of right, who may be finally starting to see the slippery slope Mulder is on, and more specifically the duplicitous nature of Cancer Man. Even if all he did was reopen the x-files, it’s a significant step in showing faith in Mulder. It will be nice if Mulder and Scully can rely on Skinner as an ally, because I don’t know if I trust X still.

It was a nice touch showing a few moments of Scully’s abduction encounter. Particularly the inflating of her stomach into its true pregnant form. What that means they did to her remains to be seen, I guess.

2.7 – “3”
(Original Air Date: November 4, 1994) This one was a little odd and felt a tad out of place. It’s weird to say that vampires don’t fit in with the supernatural world The X-Files has been exploring since day one, but it didn’t seem to. Maybe their lore is too well established. Maybe I just missed Scully.

It was … interesting seeing Mulder tackle a case solo. He certainly allowed himself to get more entrenched in it, possibly banging one of the chicks involved and even allowing her to shave him. Which is weird. I’ve never let someone shave me, and certainly not as a “hot” kind of thing. Maybe Mulder’s kinky. A hint of the forthcoming Hank Moody or his Red Shoe Diaries past creeping in?

The episode felt kind of inconsequential, even more so than your typical “monster-of-the-week” episodes. The threats were eliminated, nothing really at all was learned about them and Mulder was just kind of floundering around through most of it. He even didn’t believe the first vampire about his condition until it was too late. Bad Mulder!

2.8 – “One Breath” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: November 11, 1994) Mulder’s floundering came to a head in this episode, when he looked at the probability of Scully dying. In a showing of just how much Scully has come to mean to him, Mulder goes nearly insane trying to track down what happened to her and who was behind it.

He even gets so far as a verbal confrontation with Cancer Man in the latter’s apartment. What great casting in William B. Davis. His face is so expressive when not saying very much. I hope the actor was already a smoker when this series began filming; I’ve already lost count of how many he’s inhaled and we’re just getting started.

We never get any resolution on the mysterious Nurse Owens who kept coaxing Scully into not giving up and fighting for life. I did think throughout the episode that a medical professional was so adamantly espousing these sentiments. I guess I consider them more clinical than that. But what was she?

But the real stars of this episode have to be Scully’s enormous breasts. All through season one, she was modest in the bosom to say the least. I know she was pregnant, but the way they laid her flat on her back with a super support bra made them seem like enormous mountains on her chest. It was more than a little distracting from a few angles.

Previously on The X-Files Virgin’s Diary

Now you can just click the show title under TV Shows over there on the right for all our previous installments. Handy, isn’t it?

Photo Credit: FOX

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Season 2 begins; give me back my X-files!

Jason Hughes — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:00:43 +0000

(Season 2, Episodes 1-4)

What a great start to the second season. In the first four episodes we’ve had an alien encounter, a true monster, psychological manipulation and now mental powers, military experimentation and ultimately a government cover up. Sounds like every facet of The X-Files was just covered.

And we got to see one of the most famous monsters ever on the series. This run also featured the first appearance of Alex Krycek as well as a greater involvement for both Assistant Director Skinner and Cancer (Cigarette-Smoking) Man. The X-files has been closed and Mulder and Scully are split. What now?

2.1 – “Little Green Men” [MythArc] – SEASON PREMIERE!
(Original Air Date: September 16, 1994) Oh my god, they actually showed us exactly how Mulder’s sister’s abduction went down. Aside from some poor acting on the part of the children, it was pretty damned impressive. I can see from that why Mulder is so obsessed with finding out what’s “out there.”

Having the scene with the alien silhouette reoccur almost identically to what Mulder saw in the beginning added to the creepy factor, but it also made me even more suspicious of true alien intervention in the original abduction. We’ve seen what the government is capable of.

I can’t get a read on Skinner, though I think that’s intentional. He almost seems to support Mulder and Scully in the work they were doing.

2.2 – “The Host”
(Original Air Date: September 23, 1994) “Mr. Mulder. I think you should know, you have a friend at the FBI.” – mysterious voice on the phone

Could the friend be Assistant Director Skinner? He seems to believe that this case should have been an X-file. Too bad his level-headed thinking wasn’t available when someone decided that an ambulance driver could transport a human-sized blood-sucking parasite by himself.

And what a nasty piece of work that thing was. Definitely one of the more disturbing looking monsters we’ve seen so far. I’ve never watched this show, but I’m familiar with this one. Even though it looks like this was his only appearance I remember toys and his face being used a lot in marketing.

As a bonus, we got to think about all the different facets of waste management and see so many of the related jobs; I half expected to see a young Mike Rowe pop into the scene at any moment. Maybe even sick up a fluke worm.

I enjoyed how the episode kept itself tied to the larger storyline of trying to get the x-files reinstated at the Bureau. The very existence of this case, and the concrete evidence to support the existence of this bizarre creature screams the need for a division to handle unexplained phenomena.

2.3 – “Blood”
(Original Air Date: September 30, 1994) As much as the blatant monsterism of the previous episode was a lot of fun to watch, this far subtler threat was even more fun. I’ve been warning people about the murderous tendencies of machines for years. It looks like The X-Files had my back on this one.

And while we didn’t get any direct connections to the ongoing saga to get the X-files division reinstated, we did get to see a return of The Lone Gunmen, who are fun but I still don’t see why FOX would think they could carry their own show. I don’t know, maybe they get more compelling as we go along.

Loved that the X-file was a chemical simply intensifying existing phobias and that the rest was orchestrated by someone or someones. It also means that either Mulder has no phobias it could fuel, or it wasn’t the LSDM chemical.

Particularly creepy and well placed was the farewell message to Mulder received on the display of his cell phone. Sometimes it seems the human scum on this show are worse than the aberrations. The flukeman just wanted to go home.

2.4 – “Sleepless”
(Original Air Date: October 7, 1994) The truth is still out there, but it’s never been more dangerous.” — Mulder’s “Deep Throat” replacement

Krycek is one of those names I heard when friends I had would talk about The X-Files. Of course, he’s too good to be true as a partner who finally supports all of Mulder’s wild theories. Of course, a good cynic helps keep those thoughts sharp.

Man, four episodes in and we still don’t have the X-files reopened, and we’re still only getting Scully over the phone or over a dead body. I figured they’d get things re-established right away in the first episode, but I’m kind of glad they didn’t.

Candyman was perfectly creepy as Augustus Cole the “master” mind behind the deaths in this episode. Sleep elimination is one of those concepts that you just know the military would be all over, so this was perfectly plausible, as was the government burying all the evidence.

So far, and I’m not even sure what it is, this second season is off to a better start than the first season. It just feels like a much more tighter and interconnected show than the scatter-shot approach to the first season.

Previously on The X-Files Virgin’s Diary

Now you can just click the show title under TV Shows over there on the right for all our previous installments. Handy, isn’t it?

Photo Credit: FOX

Quotations Marks – Keith and Veronica Mars banter like rock stars

Ivey West — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:00:27 +0000

I do have to admit. I’m a bit jealous Bob. I’ve been a Veronica Mars fan for day one, so its definitely one of those shows that I wish I could go back and watch fresh. One of the best parts of putting together this post is getting to cull through quotes from the Virgin Diary reviews, and Veronica Mars is always one of the best reads.

Better Off Ted

“A machine that causes vomiting… that could have all kinds of applications for the military… and fashion modeling.” – Ted

The Colbert Report

“I also express anger through cheering and applause. It’s like my left hand is Al Franken and my right hand keeps slapping him.” – Stephen Colbert

True Blood

“You surprise me, and that is a rare quality in a breather.” – Eric
“You disgust me.” – Sookie
“Perhaps I’ll grow on you.” – Eric
“I prefer cancer.” – Sookie

The Closer

“No, I don’t want to be one of those women who puts her cat in a urn … on the mantle with a ribbon and a bell. I want to find some other way to properly honor Kitty.” – Brenda as she moves Kitty’s ashes to a Tupperware container

Selections from the Virgin Diaries

Supernatural

“Don’t you recognize me? Oh, I forgot, I’m wearing a pediatrician.” – Alastair the demon, to Dean

“An angel and a demon riding in the back seat. It’s like a setup to a bad joke. Or a penthouse forum letter.” – Dean, driving with Anna and Ruby in the backseat of his car

“Sam, TMI.” – Dean, to Sam when he told Dean that he and Ruby slept together
“I told you I was coming clean.” – Sam
“But now I feel dirty.” – Dean

Veronica Mars

“Afternoon delight? Ooh, considerably better than fifth period English.” – Logan
“Ugh, you need to not remind me you’re in high school. There’s an ‘ick’ factor.” – Kendall
“Is that so?” – Logan
“Yeah. School in general? Not very hot. Unless I’m wearing a naughty school girl uniform. Then it’s very hot.” – Kendall
“I’m sure it would be, for the ten seconds you had it on.” – Logan

“So, senior year. How was your first day at school honey?” – Keith
“Great! I beat up a freshman, stole his lunch money and then skipped out after lunch.” – Veronica
“What, no pre-marital sex?” – Keith
“Oh, yeah … yes. But don’t worry dad, I swear you’re gonna like these guys.” – Veronica
“That’s my girl.” – Keith

“Hey Dad!” – Veronica
“Yeah honey.” – Keith
“If I know the name of a business how do I find out the names of it’s shareholders?” – Veronica
“You get the strangest homework in health class.” – Keith

X-Files

“You got a brother, don’t you, Scully?” – Mulder
“Yeah, I’ve got an older one and a younger one.” – Scully
“Well, have you ever thought about calling one of them all day long and then all of a sudden the phone rings and it’s one of them calling you?” – Mulder
“Does this pitch somehow end with a way for me to lower my long distance charges?” – Scully

Battlestar Galactica

“No, no no no. Hey, no. Kara, no. Listen to me. If you’re a Cylon, then you’ve been one from the beginning.” – Anders
“Like Boomer. Spend my entire life thinking I’m one thing….” – Starbuck
“…And then you wake up one day and discover you’re another. Still doesn’t change who you really are. Still doesn’t change the fact that I love you, no matter what.” – Anders
“You are a better person than I am because if I found out that you’re a Cylon I’d put a bullet between your eyes.” – Starbuck

“A what? A miracle? Is that what you want to call this? Go ahead,say it. Grab your piece of the golden arrow. I want to hear admiral atheist say that a miracle happened.” – Laura
“You shot at her and missed at close range.” – Adama
“Doloxan fraks with your aim.” – Laura
“So does doubt.” – Adama

House

“Like I always say, there’s no ‘I’ in ‘team.’ There is a ‘me,’ though, if you jumble it up.” – House

“So your philosophy is, ‘If they don’t want treatment, they get it shoved down their throat, but if it might cure their paralysis, whoa, better slow down.’” – Wilson
“Yeah. My old philosophy used to be ‘Live and let live,’ but I’m taking this needlepoint class and they gave us these really big pillows.” – House

“You know, in some cultures, it’s considered almost rude for one friend to spy on another. Of course, in Swedish, the word ‘friend’ can also be translated as ‘limping twerp.’” – Wilson

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

“Oh, Will, you’re supposed to use your powers for good!” – Buffy
“I just wanna learn stuff.” – Willow
“Like how to build your own serial killer?” – Cordelia
“Uh, it’s so hard to rent one nowadays.” – Xander

Photo Credit: The CW

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Closing season one … and the X-files?

Jason Hughes — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 16:00:28 +0000

(Season 1, Episodes 21-24)

Another fun guest appearance in these last four installments of Season One. And a welcome return. Doug Hutchison was truly one of the creepiest monsters of the week as Eugene Tooms (I’m still checking my vents every night before I go to bed), so it was great seeing his creepy performance again.

I was even more surprised, though, to see Zeljko Ivanek as a mentally challenged twin in “Roland.” He gave a stellar performance, so convincing that if I hadn’t already seen him elsewhere I might have thought they got a truly autistic man to play the role. It’s nice to know that he was just as good at giving the creepiest stares back then as he is now.

21 – “Tooms”
(Original Air Date: April 22 1994) I wonder if they knew they were going to bring Tooms back when he first appeared, or if it was after the response to that episode. I had a friend who used to watch this show back in college, and Tooms was one of the “monsters” he liked to talk about.

I’m just impressed that Tooms always knew exactly where to stand so that shaft of light would hit his weirdly changing eyes. I’ll give it up to Hutchison here, because it’s hard to convey so much character with so few lines. I don’t know if he’s said more than twenty words between both appearances. And I also didn’t recognize him as Horace from Lost.

I found myself thinking of him more of an animal than a man. It was instinct that drove him to kill and nest and hibernate. Just because he looks like a man, and occasionally talks like one, doesn’t mean he necessarily is, does it?

Plus, can you really kill a folding man underneath an escalator? Not that Tooms would have been able to stay there. Again, if he were a man he’d have known that an escalator needs occasional maintenance, so it’s a horrible place to build a nest you hope remains undisturbed for thirty years. That’s not good planning at all.

It was nice to see Cancer Man again, as well as Director Skinner. He’s one of those characters that I knew was significant later on, so I was glad to finally see him make an appearance. That, plus it was feeling like Scully and Mulder were working in a vacuum.

22 – “Born Again”
(Original Air Date: April 29, 1994) This one, even though it had reincarnation, was a little pedestrian for me. Maybe I just want Mulder and Scully investigating things that are a little more creative than someone coming back from beyond to kill for money.

I did learn, though, that the way to talk to little girls is to bend down to a 90 degree angle so your head is level with theirs. It puts them at ease. Especially when two people are doing it side-by-side. God that looked ridiculous.

As for the girl, Andrea Libman looked incredibly familiar to me, and yet her Wiki page says this is one of her most prominent roles. Maybe I saw her in … Little Women? Maybe I saw her in my room at night using her mind to kill me by choking me with my alarm clock cord. Yeah, I think that was it. Bitch.

23 – “Roland”
(Original Air Date: May 6, 1994) A little strange to have two beyond the grave murderers back-to-back, don’t you think? One reincarnated as a telekinetic little girl and the other using telepathy to control his autistic twin. Sure, they’re different but I still think it might have been a better idea to space these out a bit in the season.

This one was sold by the acting of Ivanek. He was spot-on as Roland, so much so that he was nearly unrecognizable, except that nobody does creepy like Ivanek. Hell, I saw some of those same weird sideways glances on Heroes this past season.

The wind tunnel deaths were a little gimmicky, but the method of control between the twins was intriguing. Even more intriguing was why Roland’s relationship to his brother wasn’t on either of their records. If Roland wasn’t taken away until they were five, how could his birth and relationship just be erased like that. I’d be pissed and want to throw my stars, too!

24 – “The Erlenmeyer Flask” [MythArc] – SEASON FINALE
(Original Air Date: May 13, 2994) Oh Deep Throat, we hardly knew ye. No, honestly, how many times did you show up and we don’t know a damned thing about you? It’s a little ridiculous if you think about it. That and the admitted lying. Why, as Scully suggested, should we even trust you now?

Still, I didn’t know he died this early. Where will Mulder get his tips now? I liked how we got two catch-phrases in one episode though. Deep Throat’s dying words: “Trust no one,” and Mulder’s assertion that he wasn’t going to stop because: “The truth is out there.” After all, he’s been reading it in the intro credits all season.

The show has me so skeptical of everything, I’m wondering if the alien fetus Scully grabbed was real or another elaborate hoax perpetrated by the government on them. Hell, Deep Throat’s death could be part of that. He might not even be dead. Trust no one? How about trust nothing!

Is Scully even a woman? Maybe she’s an alien in a woman body suit. Mulder’s a robot man and the cigarette smoking man is a walking car; he uses the cigarettes to explain the exhaust. That makes sense.

I can’t believe they closed the X-files down. What will Mulder do? How will they sustain this show for another eight seasons and two movies (and counting). Probably re-open it.

The bottom line is that this was a good opening season for an ongoing show. They had a decent balance of done-in-one episodes and mytharc installments. I would have liked a bit more connection between the other stories, but I’ve been told by you that some of that is coming. I guess we’ll see how Season Two plays out starting next week.

Previously on The X-Files Virgin’s Diary
Now you can just click the show title under TV Shows over there on the right for all our previous installments. Handy, isn’t it?

Photo Credit: FOX

The trouble with MacGuffins – The curious case of The X-Files

Bob Degon — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 16:04:31 +0000

The X-Files was a landmark television show. I don’t think anyone can deny that. It spawned two movies and more than one imitator (*cough* Fringe *cough*). When it comes to MacGuffins and how the show dealt with it, I think that The X-Files is a really interesting case.

Last week, I discussed Twin Peaks, and how their MacGuffin got the better of them. To me, it seems like The X-Files improved their management a little over Twin Peaks, but they still had issues.

It’s hard, and I think unfair, to compare Twin Peaks to The X-Files. They are very different shows. The X-Files was a procedural, whereas Twin Peaks was a serial drama. For the most part every week of The X-Files featured a unique case, unless, of course, it was an episode that had to do with the shows ultimate MacGuffin: aliens and the government conspiracy.

In my opinion, the MacGuffin really got away from the writers over the run of the series. The deep mythology of the aliens and their invasion of the Earth, and the government’s conspiracy to keep the whole thing under wraps was overly complicated and convoluted. It was certainly intriguing for the first few seasons. I can remember watching the show and wanting nothing more than one more crumb of information or another appearance by the Cigarette Smoking Man.

Unfortunately the more information I got, the more confused I became. Were the aliens oil that crawled into people, like we saw on the show, or were they humanoid creatures with UFOs, like we saw in the movie? The sad truth is that by the time things became clear in the later seasons, a lot of people weren’t watching anymore. A lot of that had to do with the exit of David Duchovny and then Gillian Anderson, who really made the show what it was, but I have to think that some of it was frustration on the viewers’ parts.

You would think that being frustrated with the main mythology of the show would have me cursing the show as a viewer, but frankly, I am still a big advocate of the show (and I’m really excited that Jason is doing a virgin diary for it). The fact is that because the show was a procedural and didn’t lean on the complicated mythology to carry the plot every week, it ended up working in spite of itself. It just goes to show you that the MacGuffin really isn’t the end all and be all of a show. On the contrary, if the characters are interesting enough, the mythology really can take a back seat.

What was your take on the complicated mythology of The X-Files? Did you stick around until the end to get all the answers, or did you just read the wikipedia entry after the fact?

Photo Credit: FOX

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – A faith healer, a manitou and a killer bug walk into the woods

Jason Hughes — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:00:33 +0000

(Season 1, Episodes 17-20)

Even though we do get a ‘MythArc’ installment (episodes that progress the larger saga), not much happened in a major way in this quarter of The X-Files. Still, we got a very solid hour of horror at the tail end, as well as a too-brief appearance by Doc Coddle (Donnelly Rhodes) from Battlestar Galactica in a less impressive chapter.

I thing we’re kind of spinning our wheels, as many American series do at this point in their season. They like to save the big dramatic stuff for the last few episodes so we tend to get fillers leading up to them. It felt like a lot of that, but with The X-Files, we kind of get those types of episodes throughout, so it’s not as disconcerting.

17 – “E.B.E” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: February 18, 1994) That was some pretty horrible effects on the flashlight in the sky during the cold open. It was better than the very stiff, and strangely silent, performance of Peter LaCroix as the truck driver.

Now I’m not sure what to take of Deep Throat, as he seems like he’s going to periodically lie to Mulder to keep certain truths buried. Hey buddy, you can’t reveal your cake and not eat it … wait, that doesn’t work. You can mislead an agent to water, but you can’t make him believe … uh. How are we supposed to know when to believe him now? Yeah, that’s what I meant to say.

If the truck was a decoy, that was a pretty elaborate decoy to throw Mulder and Scully off the trail. And expensive. The government sure is willing to throw a lot of money around to keep Mulder running in circles. I still think a bullet to the brain would be much more cost effective.

Man, if this were on the air now they’d both be dead. “In these tough economic times, we just can’t afford to stage elaborate hoaxes for two FBI agents. So we had to put them down.”

Um, you forgot to forward the story in this ‘MythArc’ episode, guys. Maybe next time?

18 – “Miracle Man”
(Original Air Date: March 18, 1994) I tried laying on of hands when I was in high school, and it got me slapped a lot. “I was just checking the strength of your heartbeat, Tara. It’s not my fault your breast is there.” Let me check the other side.

There are a lot of questions remaining about faith healer Samuel Hartley. He clearly did have the ability to heal, though I wonder if he was able to relieve Vance, the burn victim, of the chronic pain most suffer. Maybe that’s what set the guy over the edge?

I was glad to see both the Sheriff and Vance guilty, and for different things. Crimes aren’t nearly as simple as most television shows lead us to believe, so it was nice that even though this case had an “x-files” element to it, in the end it was a couple of generic murders.

19 – “Shapes”
(Original Air Date: April 1, 1994) It was interesting that this episode was in response to Fox wanting a more conventional monster. I’m glad the writers didn’t go with a traditional werewolf, rather making it a Native American legend come to life. Legends of monsters and creatures being real seems to fit well with The X-Files.

There were some nice twists and turns throughout, even if things were a little obvious as to Lyle Parker being the “manitou.” It was cool hearing that the first “x-file,” coincidentally about a manitou, was started by Herbert Hoover.

20 – “Darkness Falls”
(Original Air Date: April 15, 1994) Mulder really knows how to work a slide projector. He had Scully in the audience again and in response to her question of what happened to the 30 loggers they were looking at, he flipped to the next slide … which was blank! … and said they vanished! So dramatic! Fox Mulder should have gotten an Emmy for best director.

Other than the terrible effects, for the most part, on the flying green bugs, this was one of the most intense and frightening episodes so far. Even better, Mulder and Scully completely failed to get away from the insects and were fully cocooned. I loved that the show had the guts to victimize its leads in this way.

Even better, the episode ended with no real resolution as to what to do about the deadly insects. I like that because there really are threats out there, like kudzu, that we have no real answer to. All in all, this was a very satisfying, if inconsequential (or seemingly so), episode.

Previously on The X-Files Virgin’s Diary
Now you can just click the show title under TV Shows over there on the right for all our previous installments. Handy, isn’t it?

Photo Credit: Fox

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – In which Scully loses a father, a lover and almost her life

Jason Hughes — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:00:04 +0000

(Season 1, Episodes 12-16)

Sneaky bastards! Apparently there are 24 episodes in the first season of The X-Files, meaning my plan of two three-episode installments was completely pointless. You see kids, 4 goes into 24 evenly. It pays to pay attention in school! And maybe a little bit to what you’re doing as well. So we’ll do five this week to keep on track. Hang on tight, it’s a marathon!

12 – “Fire”
(Original Air Date: December 7, 1993) I get that the weird firestarter guy is crazy. I’m just not sure why he thought it would be funny to freak out the ugly Meg Ryan at the bar by lighting up his arm. It was handy for him, though, that the bartender had apparently doused the entire bar in alcohol for him. Made for a much better flame effect.

Later, the fire on the 14th floor, caused by our firestarter friend “Bob,” was impressively contained. Like a flamethrower just shooting off a nice spout of flames not spreading or anything. All while Bob ran off to “save” the boys of his latest victim. I guess the budget couldn’t afford any actual fire damage to the building set, so they used a replica of the Olympic torch. Just hold it right there. That looks terrifying!

Another helpful production tip from Mr. Jason J. Hughes. If your stuntman doesn’t really look anything like David Duchovny, it’s best not to have him do a slow motion dive into the camera during your dramatic hall diving scene. “Hey, check out that guy’s jet black hair. Who is that and how did he get where Mulder just was? Oh wait, Mulder’s back. That was weird.”

I am proud of Mulder for facing his fear of fire, with the help of his trusted stuntman. As for Bob? Apparently you can fight fire with fire, even if you can’t kill fire with fire. We’re getting to have a whole collection of these weirdos in government facilities out there. Is someone building an army? I don’t think The X-Files had a ton continuity as far as their monsters of the week go, though I know a few recurred.

13 – “Beyond the Sea”
(Original Air Date: January 7, 1994) This is exactly what I think The X-Files excels at. In the end, the viewer is left with just as much doubt as Scully generally has about whether what we just saw was supernatural or not. All of this can be laid on the lap of the brilliant Brad Dourif.

Dourif, as the maybe-psychic death row inmate Luther Lee Boggs, was just astounding in this role. This also is the first time that I’ve seen the acting ability that I know will lead to Emmy nominations for Gillian Anderson in this role. Even with Mulder off the screen for most of the episode, I was just mesmerized by Scully and Boggs’s cat-and-mouse.

In the end it could be that Boggs was psychic in some way; it was certainly filmed in scenes to suggest that he was. But he could have just as easily been the mastermind behind the kidnapping in the first place; all to try and secure a deal. The fact that he helped Scully despite not getting the deal pushes me toward believing some truth in what he claimed. Or general remorse for his past deeds. Not that it helped him in the end.

14 – “Gender Bender”
(Original Air Date: January 21, 1994) “The Addams Family finds religion.” –Fox Mulder

Another solid installment, and again mainly because of the creepiness of the “monsters,” or in this case aliens? The Kindred were an interesting bunch, and of course we’re left with as many questions as we came in with. The tension in the compound while Scully and Mulder were running around was palpable.

Actually less compelling was the gender bending murderer him/herself. I am of course wondering why people they make out with get physically ill; they barely have to do anything and the victims are retching out their guts at the very least. Alien incompatibility? And why the drive to mate so often, killing humans left and right — the Kindred in the compound don’t seem to have this compulsion. An aberration?

This episode made me realize that I’m probably going to be frustrated about a lot of things on this show. One of the things I love best is world building. I love a show that creates an alternate reality that I can fully immerse myself in. But that means I want to understand as much about that world as possible. And, as proven here, it looks like we’ll be getting little more than snippets here and there.

Basically, I need to think of The X-Files as two different things. There’s the “MythArc” larger story, and then beyond that it’s a supernatural/sci-fi/fantasy anthology series. Short vignettes that you take for what they are and what you can get out of them and then move on. I think I can handle that.

15 – “Lazarus”
(Original Air Date: February 4, 1994) Man, they really wanted to put Scully through the ringer these past few episodes. First, kill off her dad, but have her haunted by his presence through a deranged death row inmate. Sure, no problem. What’s next?

How about we kill off one of your mentors and ex-boyfriends and then have his body taken over by a different deranged criminal. That way you can experience even more emotional turmoil before we finally and ultimately kill him off again. See, the goal is to have you completely lose it so you’re more open to Spooky Mulder’s crazy theories.

This one read like Ghost Whisperer meets Bonnie & Clyde. I couldn’t help but think of how Jim’s love kept him from dying and he was ultimately able to come back to Melinda in a different body. Only Melinda didn’t betray him and ultimately try to kill him.

I enjoyed the tone of this episode, both in how it let us learn that Scully was dating a man who certainly looked a lot older than her, even if the writers lied and said they’re close to the same age. I’m going to say it’s daddy issues, because her dad was a bit of a cold dick in that Christmas scene.

16 – “Young at Heart”
(Original Air Date: February 11, 1994) Fox’s stalker has not only nice penmanship, but is also a damn fine photographer. Now that he’s thwarted death, he should maybe consider a job in the exciting world of wedding photography. The way he captured the mood of Mulder coming around his car… the somber expression in his eyes as he looked to the distance….

The paparazzi would kill for talent like that. Imagine getting an up-skirt shot of today’s latest “thing,” but with a delicate grace and lighting that belies the fact that you had to lie in the gutter waiting for her limo to arrive to get that shot.

You know how to create tension during a phone conversation? Zoom in on the eyes. Phones are scary business. That phone ringing scared the shit out of Reggie, Mulder’s former supervisor who was there when the dead-not-dead killer was finally brought down. So much that he got choked to death, leading Mulder to ask, “What the hell is going on, Reggie?” about thirty times. I wonder if that catch phrase ever wound up on X-Files t-shirts.

Bring in a doctor who’s sort of got the cure for aging, and got me to look up progeria to learn more about it, and you’ve got the government back involved. Of course they’d want in on that action. Enter Deep Throat to say he’s not real happy with how things have turned out, but what are you gonna do.

It also made me miss my cello. I just got new strings so maybe I can bone up on practicing so I can be involved in the next government sting operation to flush out a salamander-handed reverse-aging lunatic with a vendetta against a friend of mine’s coworker. I mean that has to happen all the time, right?

Oh, and remember the number 935, okay. They showed it to us so it must be important, right? The X-Files goes back to these things sometimes, don’t they? Give me hope for at least some follow-up to these umpteen gazillion open-ended plots….

Previously on The X-Files Virgin’s Diary
Now you can just click the show title under TV Shows over there on the right for all our previous installments. Handy, isn’t it?

Photo Credit: Fox

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Aliens, angels and mean girls

Jason Hughes — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 13:00:00 +0000

(Season 1, Episodes 9-11)

There aren’t enough kid villains in the world. Thank god there’s The X-Files. Plus, I never knew anyone took that “face of mars” image and made it into a creepy mask on an old man’s face. All in all, these were pretty solid spook-em-up installments. I felt for Mulder trying to defend himself in an obviously crooked system. I’ve been there, man, try getting customer service on the line about your phone bill!

9 – “Space”
(Original Air Date: November 12, 1993) I recognized Ed Lauter right away, despite the horrible toupee they had on him in that flashback sequence. His is one of those faces we see everywhere in guest roles that’s always memorable. And he always plays those intense roles, this time losing his mind as Col. Belt, head of a NASA space mission going horribly awry.

At one point Mulder was trying to calm Michelle Generoo, who’s fiance was on the shuttle that Belt was apparently willing to sacrifice to keep NASA afloat, he grabbed her on both sides of her waist in an incredibly uncomfortable moment … at least for me. Most people grab arms or shoulders, but not Mulder. As close to the crotch as decorum allows. One thrust and he could have physically assaulted her right there. It did have the desired effect, though, as she did relax. Or she wanted big daddy!

All in all, I found this episode to be less than compelling. The alien entity that had apparently possessed Belt was vague at best. What was its motivation? At least Scully was there this time when Belt’s face was transforming into “the face of Mars.” And, of course, in the end he killed himself, but does that kill the creature?

Maybe it was because the “action” took place in a NASA control center, meaning there was no action at all. There was virtually no tension in the entire episode, nor was there suspense or any of those things I’m enjoying about The X-Files.

10 – “Fallen Angel” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: November 19, 1993) Damn you US Government! Always covering up something. At least we’re back on familiar X-Files ground. A secret government installation hastily set up at a presumed alien crash site, or Libyan aircraft with a nuclear warhead, or make that a derailed train. Who do you believe? Why Fox Mulder, of course.

I don’t know what this “fallen angel” is, but they’re not taking any chances with it. Even through the bad acting by everyone in the military, I could tell. Even worse than the acting was the “special effects” when the men were attacked. A bright floodlight, a close-up shot with the camera and screaming. Ooh, color me terrified! Nostrils!

I’m sure I’m just spoiled by 2009 capabilities in effects (and casting?). At least the makeup was good on the burn victims. Even scarier, I used to sport the exact same hairdo as Max (ballcap with long frizzy hair) at around the same time. I’d say we were trendy, but I don’t think Max was trendy. Medicated schizo possible alien abductee, but not trendy. Just like me.

At the end, it was nice to see that the government dickery extends to Mulder and Scully’s own FBI. As cavalier as Mulder has been, I’m as surprised as he that he lasted this long, until Deep Throat revealed it’s the “keep your enemies closer” adage. He’s kept on so they can keep an eye on him. You’d think it’d be easier to just kill him.

A great line that sums up Mulder’s position: “How can I disprove lies that are stamped with an official seal?”

11 – “Eve”
(Original Air Date: December 10, 1993) Today we remember how much Mulder loves his slide projector. At any possible moment he’ll flip that light switch in his office and start flipping through slides that are always prepared for whatever he’s talking about. I think he carries the remote in his pocket at all times. “Oh, sorry Scully. Didn’t know that one was on there. Impressive, eh?”

The “Eve” we met in the psych ward is Eve 6, the inspiration for the band’s name. So either they liked the episode or thought she was hot. Maybe they wanted her to bite into their eyeballs.

I know Scully is the skeptic, but she took it a bit beyond the realm of believable when she didn’t want to stop by the motel to check up on the woman who came in twice with the same girl (but never left with her). Come on, that’s at least suspicous.

It was pleasantly surprising that the elder Eve was actually trying to do the girls, and the world, a favor. And that the younger Eves were actually the murderers. Beyond that, the little bitches were monsters, and incredibly devious. I love it!

What wasn’t as impressive was the staff at the place the Eves were being held not recognizing another Eve in a lab coat come to take the girls. I guess nobody looks beyond the coat. That said, what a great episode. You can never see enough diabolical kids on television.

I’m only going to do three episodes this week, and possibly next because I just got my hands on a doctor’s coat and I got me some drugs to pilfer. I figure if I have two three-episode installments per season, then I won’t have to have a two-episode diary at the end of a season. Would you believe there’s a plan?

Previously on The X-Files Virgin’s Diary
Season 1, Episodes 1-4
Season 1, Episodes 5-8

Photo Credit: Fox

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Ghosts and devils and AI … Oh my!

Jason Hughes — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 13:00:25 +0000

(Season 1, Episodes 5-8)

I guess after three of four episodes with a “MythArc” element, the creators wanted to relax and go for some fun, non-connected episodes for awhile. So all four of this week’s episodes are of the “Monster-of-the-Week” variety.

5 – “The Jersey Devil”
(Original Air Date: October 8, 1993) The most disappointing thing to me was that the people from 1947 didn’t speak like 1940s movie stars. “What you got here, see, is da Joisey Devil. What’s it to ya?” You have to say it fast, and yes, that’s how I picture everyone in the ’40s sounding.

We did get introduced to Dana’s life outside of the Bureau in the form of a party for her godson — which left Mulder to go it alone in Atlantic City. I’m having mixed feelings about their working relationship so far. I like the perspective her skepticism gives us, but it seems so relentless considering what they’ve already seen, that it’s a hindrance to Mulder’s investigative style.

Besides, Mulder is doing fine. He’s traded a nice motel room with HBO to a homeless guy for a moldy blanket and a cardboard box with a view all so he could tango with a naked chick with long ratty hair. Actually, the point of this seems to be so we can see how much Mulder has given up in his personal life on his obsession into the paranormal.

While Scully struggles to have a normal life with parties and dates, Mulder can’t take his mind off of the next monster or the next case. And by the end of the episode, Scully is leaning toward making the same choices. At least by committing more to what they’re doing, she’s more involved and supportive of Mulder’s theories.

Other than that, this was a pretty lackluster affair. The Jersey Devil was a feral mother. *Yawn* Nothing paranormal or even threatening happened the entire time. It was all very sleepy and safe and boringly normal.

I do have a tip for Scully. If the latest batch of people who are trying to thwart your investigation are in the building looking for a “Mulder,” and you’re calling out to him, how about shouting “Fox” instead? I’m just sayin’.

6 – “Shadows”
(Original Air Date: October 22, 1993)

Poltergeist meets The X-Files, and as usual Dana Scully arrives on the scene just too late to see the truly supernatural over and over again. Whether it’s a thug floating in the air getting choked by no one or a ghost tossin’ the room she always misses it by that much. But she plays along in her best Melinda Gordon that she believes all this nonsense to try and convince Lauren that the right thing to do is to finish her dead boss’s work by putting his murderer away, and revealing his misdeeds.

Gillian Anderson was so earnest when talking to Lauren about this that I half expected her to do the half-smile-look-away move Jennifer Love Hewitt has patented on Ghost Whisperer. And I was waiting at the end for her to tell Howard Graves that he could now go into the light.

As for Mulder, for all his obsessions about the X-Files and the paranormal, I wouldn’t have expected him to get so pissy about Scully impeding his chance to examine spectral phenomenon. He’s not a bad agent or a bad person, so why would he not care about a real crime getting busted?

“Mulder, we have a chance to get this guy on selling illegal manufactured parts.” “But I wanted to look at the ghosts.” “Mulder, this is a serious crime and he’s already killed one person and tried to kill another.” “But gho-o-o-osts!!” “Mulder, do you want these deaths on your conscience?” “I wish I didn’t have a partner.”

7 – “Ghost in the Machine”
(Original Air Date: October 29, 1993)

Unfortunately, 2001: A Space Odyssey on television circa 1993 just comes across as quaint now. Exploring how computers might become self-aware and take over a “smart building” was fun stuff back then, but now it’s just kind of no big deal. As such, I don’t think this one holds up very well, if it was ever well received.

The COS, while murdering to keep itself alive, still didn’t come across as menacing as HAL or some of the other AI we’ve seen, but that may have been budget concerns. It would have been fun if it were taunting people. After all, it did give itself a voice synthesizer, so why give yourself a voice if you don’t want to mess with people.

Considering “Deep Throat” made a return here, I have to think that Brad Wilczek, who created COS, is pretty important. He’s basically been abducted by the government now so he can make artificial intelligence for them. Will we see him again?

It was nice to get some confirmation that Mulder is an excellent field agent, even before he found his way to the X-Files. It’s a shame that his former partner was such a douche. But I guess getting killed in a falling elevator is a just punishment for stealing Mulder’s profile, right?

8 – “Ice”
(Original Air Date: November 5, 1993) “We Are Not Who We Are”

If you’re going to do a non-essential episode, this is how you do it. Granted, I’m sure I’ve seen this same basic story a million times, but The X-Files still did it very well. Even though the threat of the parasite was real, it was the paranoia that nearly destroyed everyone. It also pushed Scully and Mulder’s trust of one another to the brink.

I think they came out of it stronger than they went in. Remember, they’ve only known each other maybe a few months by this point, but they’re really starting to work well together and gain that 100% total faith and trust that a true partnership needs.

It was fun seeing a young Felicity Huffman as the ultimately infected member of the party. And it was some nice misdirection making me think it was Hodge instead of DaSilva. He certainly was acting crazy enough. Good thing he was rational enough to see the worm moving on the back of her neck.

As we’re moving along, the relationship between Scully and Mulder is getting stronger, as is her faith in him. I’m glad to see this, as her doubting him constantly gets old. I’m sure she’ll still question his outlandish theories, considering she is the “non-believer,” but at least she’ll have his back regardless.

Previously on The X-Files Virgin’s Diary

Photo Credit: Fox

CliqueClack TV » X-Files, The

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Everybody wants what Mulder has

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – “The scientific nature of the whammy.”

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – The black oil cometh

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – From stigmata to cockroaches

Related posts

The top 100 SciFi shows – Behind the scenes at CliqueClack TV

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Four very bad men in a row

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – The Syndicate rears its powerful head

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Killer shadow and killer Krycek

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Invisibility, aging, mutation and possession

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Necrophilia, cults, voodoo and Samantha Mulder?

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Horny old people and crazy confused kids

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Putting Scully through the wringer

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Season 2 begins; give me back my X-files!

Related posts

Quotations Marks – Keith and Veronica Mars banter like rock stars

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Closing season one … and the X-files?

Related posts

The trouble with MacGuffins – The curious case of The X-Files

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – A faith healer, a manitou and a killer bug walk into the woods

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – In which Scully loses a father, a lover and almost her life

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Aliens, angels and mean girls

Related posts

The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Ghosts and devils and AI … Oh my!

Related posts