CliqueClack TV » Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Can shows truly put their heroes in danger?

Ivey West — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:00:08 +0000

The teaser of this week’s Lie to Me ended with the main character, Cal Lightman, seemingly shot dead. There’s been a buzz since the airing that, because there was never any doubt that by the time the end credits rolled the human lie detector would be back on his feet, the drama was all manufactured and, well, empty. Show runner Shawn Ryan has been fielding questions to that point on Twitter. The same sentiment can be found in the comments on Brett’s SG:U post. It begs the question: can television shows ever put their heroes in any realistic danger?

The quick answer — which I will largely ignore for the rest of this post — is no, because in this day and age of Internet spoilers, a main character’s departure from a show would most likely be widely known by airing. Some keep their secrets better than others — Lost, for an example — but in general, we know well before we rightly should as an audience. We actually had a running joke in the weekly Heroes Live-Blog/Chats last year about television characters being “Heroes dead.”

Joss Whedon has done a pretty good job of layering in that uncertainty. Eric Balfour was touted as a member of the cast on Buffy, but didn’t make it through two episodes. Even better was Doyle on Angel. By all reports, Whedon figured early on that Doyle didn’t really “mesh” with the other characters on the show, and decided very early on to make the change. Battlestar Galactica also set the tone well (still shocked by Dualla’s final scene).

The question, however, is deeper than if the audience has been “spoiled” or not. We knew at the end of Alias each week that Sydney would find some way, at the last minute, to get out of peril. You could go all the way back to Batman, and then well past that to the weekly pulp serials that influence so much of television today. So how can we, as an audience, buy into what’s going on on screen enough to believe that the principals of any given show are in danger?

I’ve given you a quick answer, and I’ve asked the question again. So, my real answer? I don’t really know. For me, it’s easy enough to suspend disbelief and enjoy the (hopefully) good performances by the actors and writers. For those that can’t do that, well, I don’t know what to say. Ryan’s point above sums up my opinion: if you can’t enjoy the ride for what it is, then you’re watching the wrong channel.

What do you think?

Photo Credit: FOX

Diary of a Buffy/Angel Virgin – Saying good-bye hard

Jason Hughes — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 18:00:06 +0000

(Buffy Season 4, Episodes 5-6)
(Angel Season 1, Episodes 5-6)

Change is brewing already on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A little abrupt, and saddening, but it will push the characters into new emotional territory. Never want them to stagnate too much.

Over on Angel, it was so good to see Angel doing something other than the whole brooding thing. The show is really coming into its own comedy-wise, which is important. I don’t need it as light as Buffy, but you can’t have characters like Cordelia and Doyle and stay that dark forever.

B.4.5 – “Beer Bad”
(Original Air Date: November 2, 1999) Well, that was different. Do you think they intentionally had Buffy not drink as much beer as the other cavemen because they didn’t want to cover up her pretty little face with all those prosthetics? I do.

I’m hoping that the bonk on the head can provide Buffy some closure on the Parker issue, because it was getting a little annoying. It was casual college sex. It happens. He’s not going to change who he is for her.

Props to Willow for standing up to Parker though, and even more so for calling him out on his attempts to woo her. Except, I’m not 100% sure that’s what he was doing. I think he sincerely felt at least a little bad that he’d hurt Buffy. Parker bad!

A.1.5 – “Rm w/a Vu”
(Original Air Date: November 2, 1999) It’s about time Cordelia got a nicer place to stay. A little haunted, but you can make that work. I liked the twist in that the old lady was bad even before she died, and that it was her son locked up and dead in the wall who needed to be saved.

But if he got his revenge on his mother, why’s he hanging around? Free chance to check out Cordy’s hot bod in the shower? Pervert.

A little odd that it was Cordelia being called a bitch that gave her the strength she needed to exorcise the old lady ghost herself. I guess in one night both Buffy and Cordy rediscovered their inner strength. Good for them.

B.4.6 – “Wild at Heart”
(Original Air Date: November 9, 1999) A lot happened this episode. Those weird military commandos easily nabbed Spike. I love how he’s always more bravado and talk than he ever is effective. Here, he barely had time to talk to himself about how he’s “the big bad” before he was taken in.

But while Spike came in, sort of, Oz suddenly departs. I suspect this will be difficult for Willow. Seth Green was a good character, and he was finally getting more integrated into the plotlines, but I guess he had to do what he had to do.

I can see why the character would be a little concerned. Veruca told him that he’d become more aware of what he was doing as a werewolf in time, as she was. But she also was willing to kill Willow to get her out of the way. Does cold-hearted murder come with that awareness?

A.1.6 – “Sense & Sensitivity”
(Original Air Date: November 9, 1999) I love super-sensitive double-cursed Angel! They keep pulling Kate Lockley further and further into Angel’s world, even giving her scenes of her very own this episode. But it was the most fun when she and Angel were being all sensitive with on another.

The ultimate take-down of Little Tony was comedic genius. And here I thought Angel was going to be all dark and brooding all the time.

It looks like Wolfram & Hart is fully established as a thorn in Angel’s side now. They appear to wield a lot of influence in town, and they’re even more sinister and brooding than Angel on a bad day. And now he’s on their radar, just as Little Tony is off.

Oh, and Kate’s father is a dick. It was probably more plausible that he just verbally beat her down like that rather than open up to her in any emotional way, but it’s still difficult to watch. And I don’t know if she or he will be significant enough in the show for us to ever see him get his for treating his daughter like dirt.

Photo Credit: The WB

Diary of a Buffy/Angel Virgin – Spike and Oz take the road trip to crossover town

Jason Hughes — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 18:00:22 +0000

(Buffy Season 4, Episodes 3-4)
(Angel Season 1, Episodes 3-4)

Now that’s a crossover between two shows. Brilliantly and seamlessly handled. This is why I chose to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel back-to-back like this. I knew Whedon had dropped little treats like this in for his loyal viewers, and now I can pretend to be one, too.

It was also nice to see the return of some familiar faces to both series. As I said last week, the casts are pretty lean. And while I can forgive it as we’re getting settled into our new environments on both shows, it’s time to start stretching out and meeting new people, as well as reconnecting with old friends.

B.4.3 – “The Harsh Light of Day”
(Original Air Date: October 19, 1999) A couple of welcome familiar faces turned up in Sunnydale with this episode. The more I see of Anya’s awkward attempts at humanity, the more I enjoy her continuing presence on the show. Her argument about human bodies with their interlocking parts was brilliant.

And then there’s Spike. How can you not love him? The only problem with Spike is that he’s never quite as bad-ass as he wants to be. Instead, he winds up Buffy’s punching bag as she works over her issues with another guy.

The situation with Parker was painfully common in college. My first college roommate was the Parker of our floor; only I was the one awkwardly in the room with them the next morning when he decided to just disappear. Of course, it would have to be Buffy that falls for the charm and has yet another horrible sexual experience. For a pretty girl she sure does get dumped on a lot … and dumped.

Nice set up, with the Gem of Amarra heading to LA with Oz so he can give it to Angel. Another reminder for the fans of Buffy to check out the spin-off, conveniently airing Oz’s arrival right after this one.

A.1.3 – “In the Dark”
(Original Air Date: October 19, 1999) Even better, Oz wasn’t alone in his trip to LA seeking the Gem. I loved the cold open with Spike giving voiceover to Angel’s chatting with the “damsel in distress” after his daring rescue.

Even though Spike’s continuing quest for the Gem is a serious matter, he always brings a bit of levity to any scene he’s in. While Whedon’s trademark humor is a part of Angel, it’s still a much darker show so far. So little moments like Spike’s hair catching on fire in his closing scene are priceless.

The whole sequence with Oz driving the van was reminiscent of the alternate future episode of Buffy where Buffy never came to Sunnydale. I was beginning to think his appearance at the beginning with the Gem was all we were going to get.

As a crossover, I think these two episodes worked together very well. Spike is frustrated again, and vows to work alone. After the annoying Harmony in Buffy and the overly ambitious Marcus here, it’s probably a good move.

As for Angel, I get the brooding thing, but destroying the Gem of Amara because he hadn’t “earned” it. That’s crap. Hide it again then and wait until you do earn it. It allows you to go out in the daytime. Someday that’ll be worth it. It’s not like there’s a cure for vampirism.

B.4.4 – “Fear, Itself”
(Original Air Date: October 26, 1999) I absolutely loved how the truly haunted house was used to explore the internal emotional issues within the cast. Willow is feeling pressure from the gang because she wants to go further into witchcraft, and they’re a bit more cautious about the real dangers. Xander is worried that he’s no longer a part of the group, and Oz fears the wolf-man. As usual.

Buffy is just a basket of fears; mostly the same ones she’s been harboring all series like never really accomplishing anything for all her fighting, and never being able to be a normal girl. Only now you can add in the fresh fear that she’ll never be good enough for anyone to love. All of that accomplished with scary monsters and shifting doors.

Loved Anya’s bunny costume, as well as her explanation that bunnies scare her. Even better was Giles. It’s getting more and more fun seeing him out of his librarian element. I was a bit put off, as Buffy was, by the obnoxious-ness of the sombrero, but I applauded his efforts to get into the spirit of the holiday.

A.1.4 – “I Fall to Pieces”
(Original Air Date: October 26, 1999) There’s a creepy monster-of-the-week for you. Angel’s like a poor man’s X-Files, isn’t he? Only more supernatural than government experiment-based. Still not sure how Dr. Falls Apart pulled off his particular abilities, but they were disturbing to behold.

The agency came together a little more officially, with Angel finally agreeing to charge customers. Who knew it would be Doyle to offer the rationale that would work: If they pay you they can move on and forget you as their “savior.” And it worked. And Cordy can have some money now.

There’s really not much more to say about it. Not a lot of density in the series or the development of the characters yet. Doyle’s place is almost as bad as Cordelia’s (I don’t care what she says, her place is horrific!). And Angel still has the best pity parties.

CALL FOR RESPONSES

With the new fall season upon us, we here at CliqueClack are looking at these “Virgin Diaries” with question marks in our eyes. Should we put them on hiatus until the winter break, or perhaps next summer? Should we continue as normal, or will things be too crowded with the fall slate unfolding at the same time?

So I’m throwing the question out to you: What are your thoughts about Virgin Diaries in the fall? Are you still inclined to follow along? Would you like a break from the action, and have us pick it up again when the land of television slows down again? Sound off below and let your voices be heard!

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Photo Credit: The WB

Quotation Marks – Devito’s got quirk, Glee’s got luftballons, and Psych’s Shawn’s got bananas

Ivey West — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 16:00:49 +0000

Pulling quotes from our favorite TV shows is one of my favorite things to do (true story), but why limit our quotes to just the shows, when celebrities — and some of CliqueClack’s greatest — say some of the darnedest things? So, from time to time, we figured we’d share some of those funny lines.

Quotes from the Ether

“A chil[sic] day. Reflection.Shower No shave. Sneak in an episode of “Deadwood!” Ian McShane … What the F! Holy shitballs the M F C S is great!” – @Danny_Devito — who shared with us the above … er … picture. (via Twitter)

“Now I’m not just a good pooper, but an optimum one.” — David Duchovny, in his new Pedigree commercial

“sorority row opens today! bring on the blood the boobs and the comedy!!!” – @IMKristenBell — speaking directly to Brett’s heart. (via Twitter)

Glee

“Iron tablet? It keeps your strength up while you’re menstruating.” — Coach Sylvester
“…I don’t menstruate” — Mr. Schuester
“Yeah? Neither do I.” — Coach Sylvester

“Ok, let’s compromise. If you quit the club, I’ll let you touch my breasts” – Quinn
“Under the shirt?” — Finn
“Over the bra.” — Quinn

“Did you just throw up?” — Miss Pillsbury
“No…. ” — Rachel
“You missed the toilet.” — Miss Pillsbury

“…Now remember, if the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry.” — Quinn

“What’s a luftballon?” – Rachel

“That was the most offensive thing I’ve seen in twenty years of teaching. And that includes an elementary school production of Hair.” — Coach Sylvester

Leverage

“You do not let Vicki Vale into the Batcave; ever.” — Hardison, on attorney Tara Carlisle tagging along with the team

Psych

“The most important thing about playing second base is the foot work. Ready?” — Henry
“I was born ready, dad!” — Shawn
“Actually you were born breach, son; it took hours to get you out. But I appreciate the enthusiasm.” — Henry

“Gus, may I ask you something? What was the very first thing you did after the shooting?” — Henry
“I called my folks to tell them I was okay.” — Gus
“And what was the first thing he [Shawn] did?” — Henry
“He ate a banana.” — Gus

“Jules, it’s not important that it was me that saved Lassie’s life, or that I was right, or that he should have listened to me from the start because I was right. The important thing is that [Lassie is] unharmed, and it was because of me because I was right.” — Shawn

“No, I don’t lose it, I place it somewhere that later eludes me.” — Shawn
“That’s the same thing as losing it, Shawn.”‘ — Gus
“Maybe to those of us without the nuance chromosome.” — Shawn

So You Think You Can Dance

“It felt a little off-off-Broadway.” — Nigel, critiquing one of the less successful auditions
“Like, in Cleveland off-Broadway.” — Adam

Project Runway

“I’m just obsessed about boobs. That’s my thing.” — Heidi Klum (or Brett … who knows?)

Supernatural

“I need you to get a message to Sam and Dean. OK?” — Carver
“Look Mr. Edlund, yes I’m a fan, but I don’t appreciate being mocked. I know that ‘Supernatural’ is just a book, OK? I know the difference between fantasy and reality.” — Becky
“Becky, it’s all real.” — Carver
“I KNEW IT!” — Becky

Greek

“It was magical … ly disgusting. She made noises like a banshee; it was like a farm animal in late-stage labor. Leaving me feeling as soiled as a veterinarian’s glove.” — Dale, telling Cappie about his night of passion with Sheila
“Are you sure that you did it right?” — Cappie

“Anyone else turned on right now? What? … Those aren’t my daughters.” — One of the random ZBZ dads to a tableful of them, as the singing ladies of ZBZ fought onstage

“Are you saying that Jack is just as scared of me as I am of him?” — Rusty to his dad, after injuring Jordan’s father in the football game
“Well, you did almost paralyze him, son.” — Russell Cartwright

Mad Men

“During the depression I saw somebody throw a loaf of bread off a truck. It was more dignified.” — Don, on the firm signing up a crazy client

“Don, look at this. Victory medal, France. I should have another for beating the clap.” — Gene, showing off his medal

“Well, I’m fun, and I like to have … fun,” — Peggy, talking to a new potential roommate

Selections from the Virgin Diaries

House, M.D.

“I have a question, and I need to go to the bathroom.” – Ian
“Which would you like to do first?” — Mrs. Walsh
“The question.” — Ian
“Okay.” — Mrs. Walsh
“Where’s the bathroom?” — Ian

“I have The Plague?” — Patient
“Don’t worry, its treatable. Being a bitch, though … nothing we can do about that.” — Dr. House

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

“It’s just that in high school, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon; you really had to work to learn anything. But here … the energy, the collective intelligence, it’s like this force. This penetrating force … and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know, and letting this place just thrust into and spurt knowledge into…. [pauses] That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.” — Willow

Angel

“So, um, are you still … ‘Grrr’?” — Cordelia
“Yeah. There’s not actually a cure for that.” — Angel

“Oh, God, I’m sorry! I’m getting all weepy in front of you. I probably look really scary. I finally get invited to a nice place … with no mirrors, and … lots of curtains…. Hey! You’re a vampire!” — Cordelia
“What? No, I’m not.” — Russell Winters
“Are too!” — Cordelia

“So what are you looking for?” — Angel
“Me? I guess it depends on how many daiquiris I’ve had. Wow, way to come off as a drunken slut.” — Kate

Photo Credit: http://twitter.com/danny_devito

Diary of a Buffy/Angel Virgin – Buffy’s in college, Angel’s in LA

Jason Hughes — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 14:00:59 +0000

(Buffy Season 4, Episodes 1-2)
(Angel Season 1, Episodes 1-2)

Welcome to the new and shorter-titled “Diary of a Buffy/Angel Virgin.” I’m a completist by nature, so if I’d been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer when it was on, I would have surely tuned in to Angel. I’ll bet the vast majority of people who were watching did the same, or at least sampled Angel.

So far, both shows feel a little lean. They took two of the regular cast members of Buffy, and put them on Angel. Buffy is just making do with the smaller number, while Angel added one. After high school so much changes, so it’s pretty cool watching two different shows to see how everybody’s lives are moving in such different directions.

B.4.1 – “The Freshman”
(Original Air Date: October 5, 1999) As promised, nothing is the same for the Scoobies. Perhaps the most disturbing difference is that, rather than seeing Giles suited up and in the high school library, we encounter him in his apartment wearing a bathrobe. Whatever will Giles do now without his day job, or his night job?

As for the Scoobies, of course Buffy is going to be miserable in college. It’s how Whedon likes her. I was kind of hoping Sunday would stick around longer, as that whole back-story was interesting. And now there’s an empty building on campus.

But I guess she was there to give Buffy some evil to slay, so she could start to make the campus feel more like home. It’s going to take a bit for me as well. The halls of Sunnydale High just felt so comfortable. U.C. Sunnydale is so large, and filled with strangers.

No Cordelia. No Angel. No Anya, even. The cast is so very small right now.

A.1.1 – “City of”
(Original Air Date: October 5, 1999) I’d always heard that Angel was a much darker show, and it is. Of course, as I was watching it I kind of realized that in one respect, it doesn’t have much choice. It’s not like Angel can prance around in the sunlight like the cast can over at Buffy. He’s nocturnal by nature, so by default this will be LA night life.

The introduction of the half-demon Doyle worked surprisingly well, and he does a bang-up job of giving Angel’s back-story in less than two minutes. That he gets prophetic visions of people in need is maybe a little convenient for the stories, but how else is Angel going to find people to help in a city the size of Los Angeles?

I hate to say it, but I was actually glad to see Cordelia. I think she’ll be a better fit here than she would on the revamped Buffy. While we got a hint of her family’s falling fortunes last season on Buffy, the full extent of that becomes painfully obvious here.

Even though Cordelia got accepted into several prestigious colleges, she couldn’t afford any of them, and so she’s in a very dingy apartment in LA trying to “make it” in the entertainment industry. It’s a very sad reality for too many promising young people. So while we get to see Buffy, Oz, and Willow going through the college experience, Cordy has to grow up and be an adult right away.

And she’s still a kid. She got wrapped up with Russell Winters, the powerful vampire who feeds on aspiring actresses. It pulled her into Angel’s world seamlessly. Bonus points when she called the guy out on his vamp-ness. Even her annoying tendencies are less grating here, without Buffy and Xander to be bothered by them.

Loved Angel shoving the guy through the window. And he’ll get away with it because it was nothing but an office chair by the time it hit the bottom. Advantages of dusting. So Angel’s basically an investigative procedural now? Sort of?

Bonus points for Lost’s Sawyer (Josh Holloway) as a short-lived vampire to open the series. Even better was Leverage’s Eliot (Christian Kane) as a short-haired smarmy lawyer for Wolfram & Hart. I know that firm becomes important. It took me a minute to recognize him, though.

B.4.2 – “Living Conditions”
(Original Air Date: October 12, 1999) Buffy’s new college roommate Kathy was shown initially to be a little wacky. Suddenly, things got much more heated between her and Buffy. I absolutely loved the dramatic music, and zoom-ins on the petty things in the room as they fought for control.

It reminded me so much of my own college experience. My first roommate was the polar opposite of me, and we clashed on virtually everything. He didn’t turn out to be a truant demon trying to suck out my soul, but it felt like it sometimes.

There was a lot of humor in this episode. Buffy running around with the bag of toenail clippings was so surreal, but then so was her behavior in general. It was even more disturbing to learn that she was right the whole time about Kathy.

It was perfect when Kathy’s father showed up and yelled at her the same way you would any kid. And all he did was glare at Oz and Xander when they showed up. No concern that these humans were seeing him. I love how matter-of-fact some of this craziness is presented.

In the end, Willow moved in. I kept wondering why Willow and Buffy didn’t room together to begin with? Maybe they tried and couldn’t get it approved? Or maybe they wanted to try reaching outside their little group to make new friends. Which isn’t always easy on the Hellmouth.

A.1.2 – “Lonely Hearts”
(Original Air Date: October 12, 1999) Poor Doyle. Pining after Cordelia, and yet she thinks demons are just the ickiest things ever. Still, he’ll keep trying I’m sure.

This trio actually works for me, but I do find myself latching onto peripheral characters that show up, hoping they’ll flesh out the cast a bit. I guess I’m feeling a bit cramped with just three principals.

Kate, the LAPD detective who thinks Angel is a serial killer at first, could stick around for a while. She’s got a connection to the law, which would help Angel Investigations find cases.

Loved Cordelia’s business cards; I knew right away that was an angel. It was also pretty funny when they backfired on her in the club, leading people to think she’s a hooker, with Doyle as her pimp. If only they knew how swanky her apartment was they’d — well, probably be convinced she was a hooker. What a dump. And Cordy’s a slob!

The real threat was unique for the Buffy-verse. A parasitic demon that transports from one host to another. Unfortunately, it’s a little too used to its passive methods. When your face is falling off, you don’t keep trying to hit on people and convince them to sleep with you. Go straight for the forced transference.

Angel has a “friend” in Kate, and the business is sort of up and running. The growing pains are fun to watch at Angel Investigations. Maybe they can start making some money so Cordelia can move in somewhere nicer, or just let her stay with Angel. Her place is a du-u-u-ump!

Photo Credit: The WB

Quotation Marks – Butt cheeks, Buffy’s Graduation, and a yunkie

Ivey West — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 14:00:42 +0000

Summer is coming to a close, which means two things. Many of the brilliant summer shows that cable gave us this year are over or close to, and its time for the fall premiers. Two of my favorite Virgin Diaries posts also found some closure, as Buffy finished high school, and Veronica just finished.

Defying Gravity

“Do you guys ever get, like really bad cramping when you clench your butt checks together like that?” — Wass

Greek

“He was a nerd but he was hot … it was just so confusing.” — Random ZBZ sister to Casey, about Max

“I had to fake a nosebleed to get out of there.” — Dale to Calvin, on how he supposedly escaped from Sheila at the party

Weeds

“Where do you get your intel?” — Silas, after Shane played six degrees of celebrity venereal diseases with him
“I make it up.” — Shane

“Adelita’s a junkie.” — Nancy
“I think with the accent it’s ‘yunkie’.” — Andy

Selections from the Virgin Diaries

Veronica Mars

“Hello, Stosh. What do you say we head out, have a few beers?” — Keith
“That’s one of those trick questions, isn’t it?” — Piz
“I got some new IDs for you. Wallace.” — Keith
“This picture is Jon Bon Jovi.” — Piz
“Yes. It is.” — Keith
“Biggie Smalls? We don’t really all look alike, Mr. Mars.” — Wallace
“I know that, Wallace. Now, let’s go out and get our drink on.” — Keith

“Tell your roommate I came by hoping to kill time between classes getting to second base with someone, and then left unsatisfied.” — Veronica
“He’s a good guy, Veronica. Try not to rip out his heart.” — Wallace

“I’m looking for detective Mars.” — Kizza
“I’m detective Mars.” — Veronica
“But you’re just a girl. You’re a teenager.” — Kizza
“A girl, a teenager, and a private detective – I’m a triple threat. Barely fits on my business card.” — Veronica

“I just hope Piz isn’t planning on moping his way through the remainder of freshman year. It’s not like I’m taking an internship at a Mister Softee in Wachoota. It’s the FBI. The F. B. I.” — Veronica
“At the very least, Piz should think it’s hot.” — Mac
“Actually, he does think it’s pretty hot. He’d just think it was hotter if I were doing it in Neptune.” — Veronica
“He wants to date you and be near you? Greedy little bugger.” — Mac
“And if he didn’t care, I’d probably be complaining about that … to my girlfriend … while waiting to pay for frozen yogurt. I’m a girl!” — Veronica

“I think I read in Teen People that a clean leg shave will make that special boy sit up and take notice.” — Veronica
“I read in FHM that boys like bare breasts.” — Mac
“Interesting. I did not know that. Bare breasts, you say? Hmmm….” — Veronica

House

“I assume you’ve been in love?” — Henry
“Is that the one that makes your pants feel funny?” — House

“You blow dry your hair?” — House
“Oh sorry, did I wake you up?” — Wilson
“You blow dry your hair?” — House
“Excuse me for actually caring what I look like.” — Wilson
“I think the word you’re looking for is obsessing!” — House

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

“Looks like a job for Wiccan girl. What do you say, Will? Big-time danger.” — Buffy
“Hey, I eat danger for breakfast.” — Willow
“But oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods.” — Xander

“Look, I know you find me attractive. I’ve seen you looking at my breasts.” — Anya
“Nothing personal, but when a guy does that it just means his eyes are open.” — Xander
“Whatever. Look, do you wanna go with me or not?” — Xander [Xander's eyes lower for a second, then flick back up to Anya's face.]

“I’m going to miss her.” — Willow, about Harmony
“Don’t you hate her?” — Buffy
“Yes, with a fiery vengeance. She picked on me for ten years. Vacuous tramp…. It’s like a sickness, Buffy. I’m missing everything. I miss P.E.!” — Willow

“Guys. Take a moment to deal with this. We survived.” — Oz
“It was a hell of a battle.” — Buffy
“Not the battle. High School.” — Oz

Photo Credit: ABC

Eleven ways Dean Winchester is like Buffy Summers

Debbie McDuffee — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 14:00:20 +0000

While I was gleefully devouring all four seasons of Supernatural for my Diary of a Supernatural Virgin column, I couldn’t help but notice all of the similarities between Dean Winchester and my favorite ass-kicking blonde slayer, Buffy Summers. There’s no denying that Eric Kripke owes much to Joss Whedon for paving the way with his ground-breaking iconic series, but I also think he instilled in his hero, Dean, many of the same qualities that make Buffy the well-rounded character that she is.

It even goes beyond qualities and encompasses actual story elements that touched both characters. I’m going out on a limb here and saying that Kripke didn’t borrow without rhyme or reason: I think he paid homage to Whedon in the ways he subtly carved Dean’s complex character to be similar to Buffy’s duality — the lighthearted banter masking the inner angst.

1. Dean and Buffy both had a death wish, then decided they’d rather live.
Dean was done with his hunting life and ready to take on whatever death was going to bring him: hopefully, peace. Buffy did die, went to heaven, really liked it there, so never embraced life like she should have once she returned. In season three of Supernatural, Dean meets a nightmare version of himself in “Dream a Little Dream of Me” and decides he doesn’t want to die after all. Buffy just screws Spike, gets trapped in a pit with Dawn at the end of season six and decides to enjoy the earthly plane again.

2. Dean and Buffy both died and came back.
Castiel and the angels yanked Dean out of Hell and brought him back to Earth to do their bidding. Buffy’s “angel” was her best friend, Willow, whose questionable magic practices and love for Buffy caused her to make a really bad decision.

3. Each is in charge of watching out for a younger sibling.
Buffy’s got an important job in keeping Dawn — and The Key — safe. Dean’s got to watch out for little girl Sam, but also he’s got to be sure Sam doesn’t cross the line to the dark side.

4. Taking a demon life comes very easily to the pair.
Buffy’s never had any qualms about dusting a vamp, and it’s (mostly) always been an unquestionable truth for Dean that demons need killing.

5. Dean and Buffy each crawled their way up out of a grave.
When Willow’s spell brings Buffy back to life, she claws her way out of her coffin, only to be traumatized by the experience. Dean finds himself alive and matter-of-factly makes his way out of the dirt and back into life. Or a convenience store.

6. They each had a tough decision to make for the greater good: killing someone they loved.
At the end of season two, Buffy kills Angel and sends him back to Hell. Even though she knows he has his soul back, she does it to save the world. Throughout the Supernatural series, Dean is prepared to follow John’s orders (and Sam’s wishes) to kill Sam if he goes all evil. Would Dean have followed through if need be is another story….

7. They each tangled with Todd Stashwick.
Huh? Todd Stashwick is the actor who played the M’Fashnik demon in Buffy’s season six episode, “Flooded.” He also played Dracula in Supernatural’s season four “Monster Movie.” (Thanks to Brett for this obscure detail!)

8. They both had absentee fathers.
Buffy’s dear daddy left her mother right along with his interest in being a dad. She had a Mom she depended on, and Giles as her father figure. Dean’s dad meant well, but was too caught up in the hunt to be the best dad he could be, leaving Dean to fend for himself and take care of Sam. Do you think Buffy and Dean were both stronger for it, or did it contribute to their weaknesses?

9. Dean and Buffy each play the ditzy one.
As flaky as most of the Scooby gang can be at times, Buffy tends to have a ditzy side that counterbalances her slayer-esque strength and street smarts, foiled by Willow’s book smarts. Dean, as well, possesses the street smarts but, when compared with Sam, doesn’t have a lot of book knowledge to his credit.

10. They are vain and funny at the same time.
“I may be dead, but I’m still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.” – Buffy, “Prophecy Girl”

“You think you’re funny?” – Henricksen
“I think I’m adorable.” – Dean

11. Dean and Buffy both put on a brave front when they’re scared, and we get some funny lines because of it.
“Now, we can do this the hard way or … well, actually, there’s just the hard way.” – Buffy to Darla
“That’s fine with me.” – Darla
“Are you sure? Now this is not gonna be pretty. We’re talking violence, strong language, adult content.” – Buffy

“I’m not going to die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.” – Dean

OK, I’m out. But I think I’ve proven my point: Buffy and Dean have a lot in common, and Kripke owes it all to Joss. Did I miss anything?

Photo Credit: The CW; 20th Century Fox

Diary of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer Virgin – Everything changes on Graduation Day

Jason Hughes — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:19:31 +0000

(Season 3, Episodes 19-22)

After three years with this gang, the final episodes of season four really were the end of an era. The kids are graduating high school, Angel’s heading off to LA to headline his own show. Truly, nothing will ever be the same again.

And the episodes played out just like that. They had all the emotional importance of such a significant transition for both the characters and the audience. We finally got the culmination of the Mayor’s century of scheming, got a resolution, of sorts, with Faith and saw Buffy take those important first steps into adulthood, by quitting the Council.

3.19 – “Choices”
(Original Air Date: May 4, 1999) Buffy and the mayor come face to face after Buffy rushes her attemps to stop him and the gang makes a key mistake. Why, after performing her spell on the roof of City Hall to take the wards off of the box Buffy and Angel need to steal, did Willow leave on her own? Why did Buffy let her?

That move made the “adventure” of the episode pointless as the box was restored to the Mayor and his plans weren’t thwarted at all. The Mayor has proven himself more layered than many typical villains, in that he has true fatherly affection for Faith, and seems to have honest advice for Buffy and Angel.

In his hundred-plus years of immortality, the Mayor wed a mortal woman and watched her age and die. He tells Angel that to subject Buffy, a young girl just getting her life started, to to a life with him is selfish. They can’t even consummate it sexually or Angel loses his soul and goes evil. What kind of life is that for Buffy?

Yes, he’s evil, which allows Buffy’s denial to just dismiss everything he says, but Angel is older and wiser. And he knows the Mayor is right.

3.20 – “The Prom”
(Original Air Date: May 11, 1999) Yet again, the big “adventure” of the episode was more a non-adventure. The kid with the hellhounds was no threat at all, and Buffy even dispatched the hellhounds themselves with relative ease. But that wasn’t the point.

With college looming and their futures on the doorstep, Buffy wanted one single night of high school normalcy. Surprisingly, Whedon gave it to her. But not before tearing her heart out again.

Angel, finally realizing that he and Buffy can never be, breaks up with her. Despite this, Angel showed up at the prom decked out in a tux to give Buffy that one night of fun and happiness she desperately needed.

This episode also saw the return of Anya, the wish demon who’d been cursed to be human. She hooked up with Xander for the prom. It’s an interesting pairing; I found myself laughing as she struggled to understand her human feelings, but at the same time talked about nothing but the horrible men she’s punished over the past thousand years.

In a rare moment of self-awareness, Jonathan presents the “Class Protector” award to Buffy for all that she’s done to protect the town, school and student body. The Class of 1999 has the lowest mortality rate in Sunnydale High history! A darkly humorous note similar to when Oz said he reads only the obituaries in the school paper.

3.17 – “Graduation Day, Part One”
(Original Air Date: May 18, 1999) Both Buffy and Willow take important steps forward in this episode, setting up the big showdown in Part Two. With the Mayor’s Ascension now looking to happen at graduation, where he will be the commencement speaker, there’s a doomsday clock ticking for the entire cast.

This sense of dread pulls Oz and Willow closer and they finally consummate their relationship. It’s also a continuation of making Oz a more important character to the show and the storylines. He’s been less relevant than Cordelia through most of the season so it was nice seeing him get involved.

I think part of the problem is the way Whedon developed the character. He’s a quiet, ironic personality on a show known for a lot of chatter. It’s easy for him to thus get overshadowed by the gabby Scoobies.

Buffy’s big moment came when she convinced herself that killing was justified. I don’t know if it was just because it was Angel’s life on the line, or because Faith had crossed too many lines to ever warrant redemption, but I didn’t find myself too disturbed when she finally gutted her.

Of course, I also didn’t believe for one second that Faith was dead.

3.18 – “Graduation Day, Part Two”
(Original Air Date: July 13, 1999*)

* – Due to the content of this episode, it was delayed until July 13 in the wake of the Columbine High School massacre. The earlier episode, “Earshot,” which dealt more directly with a potential school shooting, was delayed even further until September 21, shortly before the fourth season began.

There were so many great moments here. I love how Snyder came across as irrelevant at graduation when he was snapping at the students. It’s so true of high school. The faculty and principals are so powerful when you’re in school, but in that moment they lose all their power. Of course Snyder lost more than that.

Buffy graduated not only high school here, but the Council as well, choosing to stop taking orders from them. With Giles already fired, this is an interesting development that could certainly stick.

Where that leaves Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, I’m not sure, though I’m sure the Council couldn’t be too happy. He had one slayer go bad and the other quit. And he and Cordelia shared an absolutely terrible kiss. Terrible, but hilarious. All in all, though, it’s been a bad time for Wesley.

To finalize how wrong their relationship is, Angel has to feed off of Buffy to save his life after Faith poisoned him; Xander is appropriately appalled by this. But Angel comes through at the Ascension itself.

Speaking of which, I was a little disappointed that the Mayor was a giant snake, as we’d kind of already done giant snake. But I can see why it was more cost-effective. It was perfect, though, that Buffy used that special knife he gave Faith to ultimately spell his doom.

Speaking of Faith, great moment of vulnerability by the Mayor in the hospital where she turns up in a coma, likely to never wake up. I’m sure that’s not the case either, or Whedon wouldn’t have let her there.

One chapter closes, Buffy and the gang are heading off to college and Sunnydale High is no more. I’m sure they’ll rebuild, but the destruction of the school was very symbolic. Will Giles take a job at the college now?

Addendum

In the spirit of change, starting next week this column will become the “Diary of a Buffy/Angel Virgin” so that I can continue to follow the Buffy-verse in its entirety, as I’m sure most of its fans did. I know there were crossover elements from time to time, so this will help with those as well. I’ll just follow along with both shows in the order they aired. Hope to see you there.

Photo Credit: The WB

The top 100 SciFi shows – Behind the scenes at CliqueClack TV

Richard Keller — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:00:29 +0000

We here at CliqueClack TV are many things: caring, charitable, dashingly handsome (or beautiful), and passionate. Very passionate. We’re so passionate that we make a Harlequin romance novel seem like a teenage sex romp. This is especially true when it comes to Internet “Top xxx” lists. When one comes out with a listing of television series, the proverbial gloves come off.

This time around, it was a list of the Top 100 science fiction/fantasy shows of all time that pissed off produced a lively debate at the CliqueClack offices. Here are a few of the comments made by our fine staff of writers.

KEITH: What a weird list. Some make sense, others are way out of left field. How can they even include a show like Warehouse 13 in the list at all, when the show’s so new? And to put Dollhouse in the top 20 so soon?

BOB: I love Firefly, but number three on the list seems like a big stretch, especially with X-Files only at seven? The more I look at it, the wronger it seems. Twilight Zone is only 12? And if Buffy is at 6, how the heck is Angel way back at 26? Makes no sense….

KONA: I’m not even a sci-fi/fantasy fan, and I can tell this list is bullshit. The Twilight Zone is one of the GREATEST SHOWS EVER MADE. Fuck Max Headroom.

ANNIE: Stuff like Jake 2.0 seems kind of out-of-nowhere (unless it’s just me that didn’t really care for it, despite really liking Christopher Gorham). Also, is it safe for Alf and the Thundercats to be that close together on the list?

IVEY: The list is jacked, and some of their explanations are just as bad. In the bit about Angel they use Gunn’s addition as a positive. Way to take the least developed character on the show and use him as justification. And Kona has it right. Max Headroom?

SCOTT: Twilight Zone should be number one. Fringe is way too high at #18. And Airwolf was neither sci-fi or fantasy. It was a fuckin’ high-tech helicopter!

BRETT: On the one hand, the list is very good, for the simple fact that it’s an “Internet” list. And as the Internet always does, everything related to Joss Whedon has been over-valued. Seriously, put up a poll about anything, and put something vaguely Whedon related in it. Look at Dollhouse. Top 20 of ever, and even the people that make the show have basically agreed that half the episodes are not good. Fringe’s oddly high ranking signals that Abrams is the next coming of Whedon in that regard.

Looking at it objectively, it’s just a frickin’ train wreck. Worse, even their attempt at an explanation doesn’t help. “We did try to look at a show’s popularity at the time it was on the air, how much of a cult following its garnered since it ended (if it’s already ended), and how much influence it had on other TV shows and pop culture as a whole.” And then LEXX is 34?

I loved LEXX, but fuck if I’ve ever met anyone else who watched it. It actually fails at all their qualifications. Nobody watched it when it was on. There’s no cult following since it ended. And the only thing it may have influenced was the “made for no money” SciFi Saturday movies. Yeah, the LEXX legacy is Aztec Rex.

The one omission that stands out to me is Invasion. With so many one and done shows on the list, I don’t know how that one didn’t make it. Or is my copy of the Internet missing that overwhelming Jake 2.0 cult following?

JASON: They missed Woops!, too. And The Charmings. If Max Headroom can be that high, then those can be on the list! Misfits of Science?

BRETT: Since ratings success and longevity are not concerns, I’d put Global Frequency on the list too.

RICH: I’m surprised they had Get Smart and not Man From U.N.C.L.E. And, they had SeaQuest, but not Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, which moved so far into sci-fi/fantasy that it was a totally different show at the end.

KONA: I used to watch Get Smart on Nick at Night all the time. I never would have said it was a sci-fi show. Why is it even on the list? Because he had a shoe phone? Who doesn’t have a shoe phone? That is Science FACT.

Finally, to sum it all up, a comment by the young and beautiful Julia:

JULIA: Yes, I, uh, am totally enraged! About! All these shows I’ve never watched! How dare they…. or…. something.
Rar!

Photo Credit: io9

Quotation Marks – Exorcisms, Ann Margret, and … a Gilmore Girl?

Ivey West — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 20:30:06 +0000

Was it just me, or did this week seem a little off? Despite being funny, Psych put me to sleep (literally, not figuratively) with its not-so-interesting plot. Leverage was hilarious, but didn’t offer nearly as many good one-liners as it normally does. And depressingly, Bob’s Veronica Mars Virgin Diary is quickly coming to a close (which, I’ve got to warn you, means more Buffy quotes for everyone — I love shows that bring the wit). Alas, however, the Fall Season quickly approaches.

Psych

“Question: Where are all of the girls in the Catholic school-girl uniforms, Gus?!” — Shawn
“There’s one right over there.” — Gus
“No, that is a male bagpiper.” — Shawn

“Was she a fan of the game Grand Theft Auto? I know when I play it I become raving mad, foaming at the mouth.” — Shawn
“I had to taser him once.” — Gus
“Which I still feel was excessive.” — Shawn

“Carson D has Simon Baker on tonight. That’s can’t miss, OK, so I’m going to go. You guys keep exercising during the exorcism.” — Shawn

“Do you think she has PTSD?” — Lucy’s Mother
“I’m afraid this is more serious than a menstrual disorder.” — Shawn

“Oh, let me guess … relationship trouble.” — Henry
“Yeah, I hate it when we fight.” — Shawn
“I’m sure she feels the same way.” — Henry
“I’m not talking about Abigail, I’m talking about Gus.” — Shawn
“So was I.” — Henry

Mad Men

“Let’s assume we can get a girl to match Ann-Margret’s ability to be 25 and act 14.” — Peggy, on an ad to match the opening of Bye Bye Birdie

Leverage

“Katherine and I have known each other forever. Almost two years.” — Parker, at Sophie’s fake funeral

“Stop it….” — Sophie
“It’s like you’re haunting us.” — Parker
“Parker, I’m not really dead. I’m not dead!” — Sophie

True Blood

“Jesus and I agreed to see other people, but that doesn’t mean we don’t still talk from time to time.” — Lafayette

“If only Miss Jeanette was still alive.” — Lettie Mae
“She don’t need no backwoods witch. She needs Thorazine and a padded cell.” — Lafayette

“Lord, smite me … Lord, smite me … LORD, SMITE ME!!” — Sam

“You’ve been real good to this town, even if you are a sometime nudist.” — Andy

Selections from the Virgin Diaries

Battlestar Galactica

“There’s this one song that he taught me, it made me feel happy and sad all at the same time.” — Starbuck
“The best ones do.” — Slick

Veronica Mars

“Who wants out of jail?” — Cliff
“I do! I do!” — Veronica (A bit that works better with Kristen Bell’s funny voice)

“Honey … why is there a pistol in the freezer?” — Keith
“Because there’s this guy, see?… And I want to put him on ice. Because revenge is a dish best served cold. Because I want to commit murder in the 28th degree?” — Veronica
“Stop.” — Keith

“What?” — Wallace, after worrying about Veronica seeing Parker and Logan together
“I’m just trying to figure out which Gilmore Girl you are.” — Veronica

House, M.D.

“Why’d you put me in charge of the department if you think I can’t handle it?” — Foreman
“Because it’s temporary, and because I was ordered to.” — Cuddy

“Do you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries?” — Wilson
“They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.” — House

“What does House say?” — Cameron
“The person you are trying to reach is out of the area or has turned off their phone.” — Foreman

“Cat fight and cataplexy on the cat walk. Cool!” — House

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

“My. She’s cheeky, isn’t she? — Wesley, about Cordelia
“Uh, first word: jail; second word: bait.” — Faith

“And you say this demon wanted cash? That’s very unusual.” — Wesley
“Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.” — Giles

“I know this. It’s down by the bus station. Not the nicest part of town.” — Buffy
“Again. See, no standards. I mean, any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt.” — Giles

Photo Credit: USA Network

The Week in Clack – RIP Ted Kennedy

Jason Hughes — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 20:45:29 +0000

Michael Jackson’s still making news, this time ensuring that his death was a tragedy. The official report out of the LA coroner’s office was that Jackson’s death was a homicide, brought on by the mixture of drugs he was being prescribed for his sleep disorder. So he very well may not have been too frail for those London concerts … but we’ll never know.

In related news, A&E is going forward with the Jackson family reality show. Exploitation or honor? You decide!
The passing of Ted Kennedy brought all kinds of specials honoring this last of the dynasty.
VH1 is in full spin mode. After the murder-suicide of one of their reality losers, Ryan Jenkins. VH1’s programming model is to air crappy reality “love” shows, then spin contestants out of those into more crappy shows and on an one. So now they have to cancel two of them (Megan Wants a Millionaire & I Love Money 3) because Ryan Jenkins was in them. It’s a huge embarassment for the network, so now they have to pretend they hardly know how any of this happened, they can’t figure out how their network became the go-to places for sleazy reality shows, and vow to change their ways. Ain’t plausible deniability great.
Dollhouse started lining up guest stars in an attempt to get more peepers on those hot bodies. Look for Summer Glau, Keith Carradine, Jamie Bamber, Alexis Denisof, Michael Hogan and more!
Good news for 30 Rock fans, as Alec Baldwin has clarified that he won’t be challenging Joe Lieberman for his Senate seat in 2012. As a show of appreciation, Lieberman will not try to take Baldwin’s job on television.
The UK has a hit on their hands with Skins, a very dark look at young life. MTV is bringing the original Skins creator stateside to do it all over again, only with fewer teen boobies because we still fear their power in the US.
The official reveal of the Dancing With the Stars pairings came out. So why does ABC do this in two lumps a week apart? Is the extra publicity that necessary?
While first season winner Richard Hatch rots in jail, CBS announced the 20 contestants competing in the 19th cycle of Survivor.
Paula Abdul found work. It’s not as high profile as American Idol, but it does feature two former winners: Kelly Clarkson and Jordin Sparks. Abdul has been tapped to host the revival of Vh1 Divas.
Back on Idol, the guest judge roulette wheel keeps spinning, landing on Neil Patrick Harris and Kristin Chenoweth.
Not to be left out, The View offered guest slots to Kate Gosselin and LaToya Jackson.
Chris Brown is trying to salvage his career, starting with an interview with Larry King. I suspect it’s over for him, though.
You’re excited about the new fall season, fast approaching? That’s big news for the weeks ahead. To keep up with when it’s all coming down, be sure and keep CliqueClack’s guide to the fall season handy.
The television landscape is a-changing. The networks failed to produce a single hit, with low ratings. At the same time, cable networks set ratings highs all over the place elevating the summer of 2009 to the most watched summer ever.
Meanwhile, the median age of television viewers is at or near 50 for the big four networks. All while advertisers still target the 18-49 group. So what are the kids doing these days? Have they really abandoned television? DVR viewership median age is considerably lower. As someone who watches nothing live, I can attest to that. So much better to schedule TV around my time. The industry needs to figure these changes out.
Oh, and A&E bought Lifetime, but I really have no thoughts about that. None at all.

Photo Credit: Kennedy.Senate.gov

Diary of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Faith, Columbine and evil twins

Jason Hughes — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:00:53 +0000

(Season 3, Episodes 15-18)

It looks like the fallout of Faith’s murder of Finch is going to be dire indeed. I’m loving the complexity of her character, especially as we hold her up for comparison to Buffy. Despite her bravado, you can’t help but feel there has to be a confused young girl in there, somewhere … right?

They still don’t quite seem to know what to do with Oz. He never goes on the adventures with the gang, and he mostly sits and stares. I do enjoy that they get into the fact that he rarely talks or shows expression. It’s an interesting facet to his character, but he’s still majorly underutilized.

3.15 – “Consequences”
(Original Air Date: February 16, 1999) Faith’s arc finally takes center stage as her descent into darkness really and truly begins. Lines are drawn, and she casts her lot in with the Mayor.

But before that she nearly kills Xander. My jury is out on whether or not she would have done it. If so, then she’s more far gone than I’d like to believe. After all, that’s a killing for almost no reason at all.

New Watcher Wesley Wyndam-Pryce continues to make a right ass of himself. He was so inattentive a Watcher over Faith that she went all Dark Side on him, and then when he tried to take her to England to face the Council for the murder, he let her escape, twisting her further.

I was glad the Scoobies saw the Mayor with Mr. Trick, though, because it’s about time we got that particular confrontation going. He’s been hovering as a threat over Sunnydale since sometime last season. At least now the gang knows.

By the time Trick died I realized that I no longer cared about his character. They’d taken a dynamic and interesting personality and relegated him to lackey. He just wasn’t fun anymore.

3.16 – “Doppelgangland”
(Original Air Date: February 23, 1999) Every once in awhile, it’s nice to have fun. Like “Band Candy,” this is one of those times. And you can bet Alyson Hannigan had fun.

In a callback to “The Wish,” vampire Willow is accidentally brought into this world when Anya attempts to get her wishing necklace back. And she doesn’t like it because there aren’t people in chains that she can ride like ponies. Yeah, she said it.

I love how evil Willow still has some of the traits of our Willow, while at the same time being completely different. She’s a cold-blooded killer, and yet she has weird moments of compassion.

Surprisingly, her aggression toward Percy helps Willow. The boy Principal Snyder forced her to tutor was bullying her into doing his homework, but after his encounter with vamp-Willow, he was much more compliant. Willow, thus learns that assertiveness can be helpful.

A definite highlight was when our Willow had to pretend to be vamp-Willow at The Bronze. But the best bit was when vamp-Willow finally got home, only to arrive moments before her death, as seen in “The Wish.” Would’ve been easier to just kill her.

Big question, though. Why is Anya stuck at Sunnydale? If she’s 1120 years old then she doesn’t have parents. Who’s making her go to school? Who’s not checking her math?

3.17 – “Enemies”
(Original Air Date: March 16, 1999) This episode did a good job of keeping the viewer guessing. I wasn’t sure if Faith was sincere in her seeking consolation from Angel when she was trying to seduce him.

Later, I completely bought into Angel’s acting when it seemed he’d lost his soul again. Thank god the cloaked man who was to perform the spell that would remove Angel’s soul “owed one” to Giles. A bit coincidental, but lucky for everyone he did.

Once again, Buffy shows her youthful lack of emotional control or reason by getting all wigged out that Angel had to fake interest in Faith to get the information about the Mayor’s upcoming ascension from her. In her defense, he did do a great job, as Xander’s bruised face will attest.

3.18 – “Earshot”
(Original Air Date: September 21, 1999*) .

* – Due to the content of this episode, it was delayed until the following fall in the wake of the Columbine High School massacre. This season’s finale was also delayed in response to sensitivity about school violence, though only until July 13, 1999.

I’m not one for cowing to fear and overreaction, but considering the gang cracks jokes about how trendy it is to shoot ‘em up in your high school these days, I can understand why this episode was pre-empted when it was. Some things are just too raw to take on so directly.

But, and perhaps due to the Columbine connection, it was nice that the villain wasn’t sad and lonely Jonathan up in the tower with a gun way too complicated for suicide, but the lunch lady dumping a giant box of rat poison into the kid’s food.

And yes, that was blatantly funny that it was a box four times the size of her head so clearly labeled. In the public cafeteria. She wasn’t even careful about hiding her disdain for the kids.

The rest of the episode tackled the double-edged sword of telepathy. Seemingly great at first, it never works out in the end. I remember when I was able to hear people’s thoughts. Now I just have to wait for your comments after these articles.

Photo Credit: The WB

See Jane Clack – Sex, Vampires, Edward & Buffy

Jane Boursaw — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 22:00:03 +0000

Because I’m blanking on an awesome, knock-your-socks-off topic for See Jane Clack this week, I bring to you a re-imagining of the romantic vampire story of Edward and … Buffy?

Yes, my friends, the top 10 vampire lists have been done to, uh, death, so let’s venture into uncharted territory: the inevitable meeting of Edward Cullen and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

It was only a matter of time before these two mythological figures would come face to face, and many thanks to the creative Jonathan McIntosh at Rebellious Pixels for bringing them together.

Jonathan notes: “Ultimately, this remix is about more than a decisive showdown between the slayer and the sparkly vampire. It also doubles as a metaphor for the ongoing battle between two opposing visions of gender roles in the 21st century.”

Me? I think it’s just good fun. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Fox

Diary of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer Virgin – Out with the old (Watcher), in with the new

Jason Hughes — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:00:20 +0000

(Season 3, Episodes 12-14)

We’ll call this “The New Watcher Arc.” And by arc I mean two episodes with a bizarrely unrelated one stuck in the middle. Still, though, while “The Zeppo” took some time for me to get used to, I’m still enjoying the season so far.

“The Zeppo” was structured almost like a vaudeville comedy. We had overly dramatic music playing over Angel and Buffy, Xander running around frantically in every direction and shenanigans galore. The music, quick camera cuts and structure made for a very different viewing experience.

3.12 – “Helpless”
(Original Air Date: January 19, 1999) This episode solely existed to fire Giles. And to show just how much Buffy relies on her Slayer-strength and abilities, not only in her slaying but in her every day life.

Buffy’s a take-no-shit kind of girl, and it helps that she’s stronger than anyone who tries to bully her. Stripped of her powers, she became a helpless girl, victimized by guys coming onto her, or throwing her around. It was difficult to watch on such a “girl power” show.

Even more difficult was the obvious struggle Giles was going through in giving her the injections, blowing off her concerns about her fading strength. All so the Council could give her a test as she turned 18. A test that seems completely irrelevant.

Haven’t we already seen how resourceful and clever she is? Of course, the Council doesn’t seem to be paying that close of attention to what’s going on in Sunnydale. And considering both Slayers are there, you’d think they would be. Who’s managing the other supernatural hotspots? What else does the council do?

3.13 – “The Zeppo”
(Original Air Date: January 26, 1999) Well, that was certainly a unique way to present a major event. I’m not sure how I feel about it. At first, I was bothered that we were only getting snippets of the major hellmouth opening everyone was facing except for Xander.

But as we were getting toward the end, I understood what they were going after. By telling the story in such a way, they were able to emphasize how isolated Xander felt from the group.

The whole thing felt kind of unnatural, though. It was abrupt that the gang suddenly decided Xander couldn’t handle the slayage, despite his involvement up to this point in virtually everything? I don’t like it when plot devices are so transparent.

Plus, the gang was absolutely dismissive of him to the point of rudeness, and they wouldn’t do that. Giles has no questions about Xander suddenly hanging out with a bunch of weird dudes in his new car? Willow doesn’t have time to talk to him, and nobody would tell him anything about what was going on. All of these things were out of character.

I did like the growth in Xander’s character throughout the episode while he was on his own undead adventure. By the end, he was cool in the face of death and ultimately saved the day. Who knows how an explosion might have impacted the battle above. He may have saved the whole world!

This kind of felt like a filler episode. After Giles getting fired last week, there was only a passing mention of it, but the rest was status quo as if that brief line was added later to make it fit continuity.

3.14 – “Bad Girls”
(Original Air Date: February 9, 1999) We finally get to see the mayor evolving into something more than human. To this point, it’s been inferred that it was due to making a deal with a demon or something, but we’d seen nothing concrete.

What an interesting character he’s turning out to be. I like Mr. Trick hanging around and I like that he’s not quick to kill his underlings, like so many maniacal leaders. For example, the fat demon. He kills his underlings. And he’s disgusting. I liked him.

In other news, just like that, all that growth Xander had last episode was gone. He was right back to sparring with Cordelia over every little thing. But this episode wasn’t about Xander not being the man he had become. It was about Buffy being the young woman she’s not.

And just like Xander was uncharacteristically “forced” to hang out with the undead street gang last week, Buffy was incredibly susceptible to the allure of slaying with the cavalier attitude Faith has. She even skipped out on an important chemistry test to slay.

These things don’t ring true to her persona. Maybe it’s the trauma of their new Watcher showing up. He’s a bit of a tool, isn’t he? And incredibly inept in a real combat situation. Giles can at least handle himself. Is hand-to-hand not a part of Watcher training at all?

Things felt a little forced with Buffy going so far into Faith’s world, and I felt myself again feeling like a plot device was being thrown at me. Make Buffy almost look up to Faith and want to emulate her to show how much peer pressure can push us into doing bad things.

Then take it to the ultimate extreme by having Faith kill a not-so-innocent human and reveal that she doesn’t care. As a character arc for Faith, it’s great. The way Buffy was pulled into it was a bit much for me. You can make the same point without Buffy committing crimes and ditching school.

Photo Credit: The WB

Quotations Marks – Psych is back. Back again. Psych is back. Tell your friends.

Ivey West — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 16:00:54 +0000

How can you not be stoked that USA’s Psych is back? I was so excited, I completely forgot one of the most quotable shows on television last week! Just because I love you guys, I mixed in last week’s quotes in with this.

What were your favorite quotes this week? Mine was from our very own Bob Degon, announcing some suspect news to the CliqueClack team:

“They’re remaking BSG… again… Oy.”

Psych

“Note to self: be rich one day.” — Shawn

“He’s allergic to rich, white people.” — Shawn, addressing Gus’ coughing to family of wealthy murder victim

“I hope you have a plan of how we’re gonna find this crashed plane. And I hope that plan doesn’t end up having us being eaten by a bear.” — Gus
“Don’t worry Gus. I have a secret weapon” — Shawn
“A larger bear-eating bear?” — Gus

“Here’s the thing, Robert: I am a psychic.” — Shawn
“We work for the Santa Barbara Police Department. We’ve solved over forty-seven cases. I’m also a pharmaceutical rep, if that means anything to you.” — Gus
“You’ve seen The Mentalist, right?” — Shawn
“Yes.” — Robert
“It’s like that.” — Shawn
“Except that guy’s a fake.” — Gus
“Right. If I were a fake psychic, it would be eerily similar.” — Shawn
“Exactly the same.” — Gus
“A virtual carbon copy.” — Shawn

“You guys believe in Karma, don’t you?” — Victim’s Daughter
“Yes we do, but only because we are Karma Chameleons.” — Shawn
“We come and go.” — Gus

“He then confessed to me that his billion-dollar hedge fund was a giant ponzi scheme.” — Burned investor
“Stop right there. I simply refuse to believe that Henry Winkler had anything to do with this.” — Shawn

Weeds

“Drop the pants; dunk the dean nuts.” — Doug to Dean, getting back at him for slamming his dick in a desk drawer last week

“I was gonna be a drug kingpin! I was gonna be Tony Montana! I got nothin’.” — Dean to Doug

“Stealing drugs from a drug lord. Bold. Hot.” — Andy to Audra, upon finding her stealing medical supplies from Esteban

“Doctor Teeth.” — Andy, claiming that he does indeed know some jazz musicians
“He’s a Muppet.” — Audra
“He’s a JAZZ Muppet.” — Andy

True Blood

“Spill no blood on your way out.” — Godric basically confirming we’ve (or at the least, most certainly I) got no clue what’s going on

“I gave you everything for a lie. You’re worse than Judas.” — Sarah
“Why, what did he do to you?” — Jason

“He’s your maker, isn’t he?” — Sookie
“Don’t use words you don’t understand.” — Eric
“You have a lot of love for him.” — Sookie
“Don’t use words I don’t understand.” — Eric

“I don’t know what you heard, but those were screams of pleasure!” — Hoyt

“I reckon I’ve already been to heaven … inside your wife!” — Jason

“I’m actually older than your Jesus. I wish I could have known him, but I missed it.” — Godric

“They say I sodomized a pine tree. Must be true … My pecker’s got all kinds of scratches on it.” — Mike Spencer

“I’m a cadet with the Light of Day Institute. I’m strapped.” — Jason

Better off Ted

“It’s like looking into some bizarre alternate universe where I can drive a bull and wear tall shoes with throwing stars attached to them.” — Phil

Leverage

“Pack your bags everyone, we’re going to D.C. to make news.” — Sophie
[Pause]
“That’s when you wanna….” — Nate
“Oh, that right there, yeah. Pack your bags everyone, we’re going to D.C. to make news! [walks away]” — Sophie
“…she’s walking into the closet.” — Nate

“Do I sound that creepy when I….?” — Nate
“Hell. Yes.” — Eliot

“These conspiracies aren’t real, right?” — Parker
“What do you mean?” — Eliot
“Like that one over there that says that all the major wars of the past fifty years are decided by members of The Council.” — Parker
“I’m not cleared to discuss that with you.” — Eliot
“Well you’re not a member of The Council, are you? Eliot? Eliot? Is he?” — Parker

“Loch Ness monster.” — Parker
“Loch Ness submarine.” — Haridson
“No!” — Parker
“Waters are cold and deep, it’s a perfect place for testing.” — Eliot
“Area 51.” — Parker
“True.” — Nate
“No, she said Area 51. 51.” — Hardison
“I’m sorry, false. It’s Area 52.” — Eliot
“Been there.” — Hardison
“Yup.” — Nate

The Closer

“I’m having a hard time getting this guy out of your box … That didn’t sound right.” — Dr. Terence to Brenda

Make It or Break It

“I feel like we’re trapped in a Coldplay song … which is its own level in Dante’s Hell.” — Not-Razor (Damon) to Emily

And Selections from the Virgin Diaries

Firefly

[Kaylee has expressed her belief that Simon doesn't swear]
“I swear… when it’s appropriate.” — Simon
“Simon, the whole point of swearing is that it ain’t appropriate.” — Kaylee

“[singing] The hero of Canton, the man they call ‘me’. [speaking] Eggs! The living legend needs eggs!” — Jayne

[upon seeing Serenity for the first time]
“Ship like this, be with you till the day you die.” — Malcom
“Because it’s a death trap.” — Zoe

Battlestar Galactica

“Athena tells me the upgrades should… triple the Fleet’s jump capacity.” — Helo
“Absolutely. And that’s conservative. Their technology-our technology, is way ahead of ours. Yours.” — the Chief
“Maybe you’d like a chart to keep it all straight?” — Tigh

“I don’t know anything about being a father.” — Hot Dog
“It sucks… except the parts that don’t.” — the Chief

Veronica Mars

“If college is a boy buffet, she’s got two full plates and a purse full of boys wrapped in napkin. Look at her … she’s like boynip.” — Mac about Parker

“The ’70s had the Hustle. The ’80s, the moonwalk. We have the faux-lesbian dance.” — Veronica, in a quote that’s sure to make Brett a happy man

House, MD

“[to Foreman] Not because you think I’m right. Its because you’re taking the safe route. You’re a wuss…. Don’t worry, you’re secret is safe with me [walks out the door]. Hey Wilson, guess what Foreman just did?!?” — House

“At the Boy who Cried Wolf, the wolf really does come. And he eats the sheep, and the boy, and the parents….” — House
“He doesn’t eat the parents.” — Chase
“He does when I tell it.” — House

Photo Credit: USA

Diary of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer Virgin – Cordy makes a wish and saves the day

Jason Hughes — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 18:14:23 +0000

(Season 3, Episodes 9-11)

Still chugging along; if only more shows were as consistently inventive and entertaining as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. FOX recently said they intend to let creator Joss Whedon just be Joss in the new season of Dollhouse, rather than interfere like they did with Firefly.

Maybe they went back and watched Buffy and Angel, and realized what magic he could create when you just leave him alone. Whedon succeeds because he creates TV programs that are uniquely special, unlike anything else on the screens. Network executives coming in and mucking up the works only make that harder. Leave him alone and maybe by Season 3, Dollhouse will be at least half as good as this.

3.9 – “The Wish”
(Original Air Date: December 8, 1998) Who knew It’s a Wonderful Life could be so awful. It was especially shocking to me that Cordelia, who brought this new and horrific reality into being with her wish, was in turn killed and incinerated. It’s a damned good thing she got through to Giles in time, or that would be it.

It was cool seeing that The Master would have indeed risen and taken over Sunnydale without Buffy around to have stopped him. It was even more wild to see Willow and Xander as his most ruthless vampire minions. Willow, in particular, reminded me a lot of Drusilla’s more sane personality traits.

The ending was particularly powerful in that everyone died. More specifically, the Buffy who got shut out when she developed as the Slayer outside of Sunnydale. Clearly her connections with her friends and her “real” life are what keeps her focused and strong. It’s a nice message.

As for Anya, I can’t help but wonder if we’ll see her again. She was some horrible looking demon thing when she granted Cordelia’s wish that Buffy never came to Sunnydale, but after Giles destroyed her amulet and erased that alternate reality, she’d lost that ability. Is she still a student at Sunnydale High? Was she ever? Was she human?

3.10 – “Amends”
(Original Air Date: December 15, 1998) This one was a little more odd. When it ended, I was expecting the “To be continued….” tag to appear. It certainly felt like an unfinished episode.

The flashbacks to Angel’s past are always interesting. After seeing what he did to Giles in regards to Ms. Calendar, we know how sadistic a bastard-demon Angel can be. Speaking of which, Giles’ encounter with him was perfect in that regard. Cold and completely uncaring.

Not everyone can be as forgiving as Buffy, nor fully realize that en-souled Angel is not the same as demon vampire Angel. That said, by the end of this episode, it was becoming more and more clear that he really needed to leave Sunnydale and get the hell away from Buffy. That flesh is too tempting.

I’m glad to see Oz and Willow back together. It almost seems like they’re going to start using Oz a bit more as well; he was significant in the last episode as well. He’s a good character — it’s a shame to waste him. Hell, he’s even too decent a guy to bed Willow for the wrong reasons.

It was the dispatch of the “bad guy” in this episode that bothered me. Buffy punches around some dudes with no eyes, and empties their table of witchery stuff and she wins? Sure, “The First Evil” shows her a scary face before leaving, but it really gave up that quick?

Or was it just cocky because Angel was going to kill himself anyway at that moment? I wouldn’t think so, because it wanted Angel alive so it could turn him evil again … a-ha! The First Evil wanted Buffy to save Angel so it could try again to turn him. Yeah, that’s how I’ll make it more palatable.

3.11 – “Gingerbread”
(Original Air Date: January 12, 1999) Wow, was this a freaky installment. The children/demon concept was certainly novel. But more harrowing was Buffy’s mother and the rest of the town turning all witch-burning crazy. Are they going to remember that Amy cast a spell in front of them? The denial, or “selective memory” — as Willow calls it — factor in Sunnydale is tremendous.

Speaking of Amy, wasn’t it convenient of them to write her back into the story just so they could write her back out. At least she’s apparently going to be hanging around as a rat for a while; maybe they could get her mother’s trophy and put it in her cage to keep her company. You’d think she’d have come up with an exit strategy for her transformation, rather than hope Willow can figure it out.

So Hansel and Gretel are a demon? Loved how Buffy dispatched of this one. In fact, the whole climactic ending with Buffy impaling the demon accidentally, mere moments before Xander and Oz show up to “rescue them,” was comic brilliance.

Even more brilliant was Cordelia being the one who swooped in to save the day. What an enigma she’s turned out to be as the series has progressed. While staying true to her original personality, she’s grown into something every bit as complex and intriguing as the core Scoobies. I think I’ll miss her on Buffy when she leaves for LA with Angel next year (see, I know some stuff).

Photo Credit: The WB

Quotations Marks – Eliot knocks Hardison, Weeds knocks hipocrisy, and FX showrunners knock NBC

Ivey West — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 20:00:03 +0000

Another great quotation week in the world of Television. The great lines weren’t all just on scripted television, as it seemed to be the week of taking shots at NBC, and their … uh … suspect decision making as of late. Can’t say that I blame them. Welcome to the #nbcfail party, boys and girls of FX.

Leverage

“[after explaining how a cell phone is a metal detector] …are you even listening?” – Hardison
“Yeah.” – Eliot
“Well, what did I say?” – Hardison
“You were explaining how you’re still a virgin?” – Eliot

“Skylar? Is that a boy’s name?” – Eliot

The Television Critics Association Press Tour

“They’ve clearly just said, ‘Look, we can’t develop. We can’t develop anything that’s going to stick. We have – clearly can’t find anything with any traction, so we quit.’” – Rescue Me showrunner Peter Tolan on NBC’s new Jay Leno show

“They should take down the American Flag from the building and put up a white one … They’ve given up.” – Tolan again

Burn Notice

“It looks like the sons of the Lucky Charm revolution are gearing up for battle.” – Sam

Warehouse 13

“[after discovering a feather he found allows the holder to walk through walls] Now THIS is one of those artifacts I’d really like to keep.” – Pete

“Use your feminine wiles. Smile. You’re pretty when you smile.” – Pete
“I am?” – Myka
“Yeah.” – Pete
“So what does that mean when I’m not smiling?” – Myka
“Kind of frightening.” – Pete

The Closer

“If Charlie’s going to be staying here, murder is part of the deal.” – Brenda

“Charlie, which would you rather? Museums with Grandma, or schizophrenic murder suspects with your Aunt Brenda?” – Brenda

Weeds

“[after he finished suckling her in the bathroom of a restaurant] You swallowed?” – Nancy
“Yeah, well; I don’t wanna be a hypocrite.” – Andy

Entourage

“I want you to keep an eye on Andrew Klein.” – Ari
“Keep an eye on him how?” – Lloyd
“Pretend he’s Zac Efron’s ball sack.” – Ari

True Blood

“I ain’t never done it before. With a girl I mean.” – Hoyt
“Well what have you done it with?” – Jessica

“Hugo, do me a favor. Just shut the fuck up.” – Sookie

“Say a prayer. You are going to hell, and you are going there today.” – Steve Newlin to Jason

And selections from the Virgin Diaries

House, M.D.

“TB is my disease” – Dr. Sebastian Charles
“You own a disease? I’m sorry I missed the IPO on dengue.” – House

“You know the difference between our jobs is not numbers or styles. It’s that I know I’m going to fail. Even if I save a million people there’s going to be another million. You couldn’t handle that. I think you resent anyone who can.” – Charles

“It’s not the size of the muscle, it’s where you get to put it.” – Mark

Six Feet Under

“We’ve been clutching so desperately to the past, and for what?” – David
“Because that’s when there was hope.” – Ruth

“Ruth, it isn’t the ’50s anymore. No matter how you dress.” – Margaret

“Oh, I wanna take a picture of everyone.” – Claire
“You can’t take a picture of this. It’s already gone.” – Nate

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

“Okay, let’s not say something we’ll all regret later, okay?” – Xander
“Crazy freak!” – Cordelia
“Vapid whore!” – Buffy
“Like that.” – Xander

“I don’t even get why you care about Homecoming when you’re doing stuff like this.” – Cordelia
“Because this is all I do. This is what my life is. You couldn’t understand. I just thought … Homecoming Queen. I could pick up a yearbook someday and say, I was there. I went to high school, I had friends, and, for one moment, I got to live in the world. And there’d be proof, proof that I was chosen for something other than this. Besides, [pumps the rifle] I look cute in a tiara.” – Buffy

“I don’t get this. The candy’s supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff, but I’ve had a ton and I don’t feel any diff- never mind.” – Xander

“[to Angel and Buffy] You’re not friends. You’ll never be friends. You’ll be in love ’til it kills you both. You’ll fight, and you’ll shag, and you’ll hate each other ’til it makes you quiver, but you’ll never be friends. Love isn’t brains, children, it’s blood — blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love’s bitch, but at least I’m man enough to admit it.” – Spike

Photo Credit: TNT

See Jane Clack – Who’s your vampire daddy?

Jane Boursaw — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 18:00:11 +0000

This week’s See Jane Clack has me pondering vampires. Oh, the vampires I’ve loved and lost. OK, I’ve never really had them, but let’s just put it this way: while I’m watching the TV shows and movies, they’re all mine. When the show leaves the air, then I’ve lost them. Until I watch the DVDs, that is; then they’re mine again. Spike, Angel (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel), Mick St. John (Moonlight) … heck, even Barnabas Collins (Dark Shadows) was mine back in the day, but he was a little creepier than the aforementioned vamps.

But this week, I’m brooding over True Blood’s Bill Compton and Twilight’s Edward Cullen. These are two vampires I hold close in my heart, only in different ways….

A tale of two hairdos. I’m not so much into Edward’s messy hairdo. Really, I just want to take a brush to his head, and maybe a little shampoo, too. Good lord, I sound like a mom! I’m much more into Bill’s neat and tidy look. I mean, if a vampire has messy hair, it should be because *I messed it up. I’m just sayin’…

Ladies with moxie. The women these vamps hang with are feisty and fearless, and that’s putting it mildly. While Bella was pretty gutsy wandering off with Edward into the woods and being the guest of honor at his family home (full of vampires, mind you), Sookie is definitely way braver than I’ll ever be. She not only went to Fangtasia to talk with head vamp Eric, but she’s now embedded in the creepy Fellowship of the Sun Church to flush out the vamp-nappers.

Experience Counts. Edward is just a young pup in vampire years. He’s only 108 years old, and has been a vampire for 91 years. And you can tell, too. He’s awkward with Bella, unsure of himself, inexperienced. Bill, on the other hand, is 169 years old, which OK, isn’t that much older, but he was 38 when he was turned (28 in the books), and had a wife and five children. Let’s face it, he had learned a lot about women and relationships during his time as a human, and that shows in his relationship with Sookie. Yes, he was a little shy with her at the beginning, but he has no problem standing his ground. Unfortunately, this season that meant Sookie stomping off into the woods in the dead of night and getting attacked by a manead. Hmmm … maybe Edward wins in this category after all, even though his relationship with Bella caused her to be attacked by James. What can you say? Vampire love is dangerous business.

Hotness Factor. How do these two stack up in the hotness category? Well, let’s just say I wouldn’t kick ‘em out of my bed. Although after the gore-tastic scene with Bill and Lorena rolling around in bloody sheets in “Hard-Hearted Hannah,” I’d have to lay down some rules about the combination of blood and sex.

What say you? Who’s YOUR vampire daddy? Edward or Bill, or perhaps one of the other hot vamps who’s populated TV and movie screens?

Photo Credit: HBO/Summit Entertainment

Diary of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer Virgin – Mr. Trick goes to the Mayor’s office

Jason Hughes — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 13:00:26 +0000

(Season 3, Episodes 5-8)

The background of these four episodes is the slow burning of affection between Xander and Willow. We know they’ve had feelings for one another since the beginning, but did the writers have to wait until both were in relationships that I actually enjoyed to go and screw it all up?

They still haven’t figured out what to do with Oz as a character, so he’s been relegated to background scenery in most of these episodes. I wonder if this has to do with Seth Green ultimately leaving the show. You’d think you could use your werewolf a little better. 3.5 – “Homecoming”
(Original Air Date: November 3, 1998) So we finally meet this mayor that everyone’s been talking about and he’s … well … kind of a dork. It’s interesting that he’s played almost like the wimpy dad from Back to the Future, and yet he’s clearly feared by his underlings. And of course, there’s his demonic connection.

“Slayerfest ‘98″ was a fun idea, and I’m glad to see Mr. Trick sticking around. He’s an interesting foil, and almost as much fun to watch as Spike. I didn’t, however, expect him to get in bed with the mayor, so to speak. I knew the mayor knew about the supernatural aspects of Sunnydale, but I didn’t know in what way, or why he allowed things to happen as he did.

As for the “Slayers,” Cordelia was more effective than I would have guessed, though it was of course her sharp tongue that “staked” their prey into running away again. Those Gorches are good for that.

3.6 – “Band Candy”
(Original Air Date: November 10, 1998) Mr. Trick was up to his tricks again, but this time he set up one of the most enjoyable episodes of the entire run thus far. Damn, it was a hoot seeing Buffy and the teens struggling to keep the adults in check while they were regressing to their own adolescence.

I can’t decide if it was more fun seeing the younger badass Giles (no stammering allowed!) or Principal Snyder wanting to hang with the cool kids. I can just imagine the fun the adults of the series had with this one.

It’s always fun to see Ethan Rayne back, though I’m sure he didn’t think through Giles becoming “Ripper” due to his candy bars. What I’m less clear on is why the entire town had to be turned into reckless teens so they could steal four babies from one hospital room.

I expected a mass stealing of children with that kind of a set-up. There are far easier ways to take babies from one room in one hospital. I think that “tribute” aspect of the episode was the only disappointment, but I had so much fun watching everyone behaving so badly, that it almost didn’t matter.

3.7 – “Revelations”
(Original Air Date: November 17, 1998) There really needs to be a system in place to verify the identities of people who just walk in declaring themselves part of the Watcher’s Council or any other related organization. The Scoobies are so damned trusting.

It was nice seeing Faith have something to do more than just show up and kick some ass from time to time. There’s a good character there just screaming for more development, and we finally got some of it. Even if it was at her expense; she’s definitely in a worse place by the end of this one.

Fake Watcher Gwendolyn Post did manage to do one thing, out Angel’s return to the rest of the gang. That lead to some awkward moments and anger, but Willow (keeping a secret of her own *ahem*Xander*ahem*) was more understanding.

Xander, on the other hand, went nuts and helped convince Faith to go after Angel. Of course, in his defense it would have been more likely to think that Angel attacked Giles than a supposed Watcher.

As for Buffy, that was a helluva throwdown with Faith. And after they all realized they’d been duped, it was a helluva throw to chop Post’s hand off. Maybe next time they’ll do some background checking before they let someone new into their world.

3.8 – “Lovers Walk”
(Original Air Date: November 24, 1998) Guess who’s back? I love that Spike and Joyce have almost a mother-son relationship here. Considering Angel showed up and messed things up, we may never know if Spike had any other intentions with Joyce, or if he was just looking for comfort and support.

The evolution of Spike through this episode was just awesome to watch. He went from a heartbroken emotional wreck, to a psychotic emotional wreck, to a vamp with a mission to win his lost love back by being the sick bastard she first fell in love with. That’s growth, I guess. I do like that Spike has way more human emotions than most of the soulless vamps we’ve seen.

After a build-up through four episodes, the kiss scene here had to be the one Oz and Cordelia walked in on? It was clearly Willow and Xander believing they were going to die. It also lead to on of the more disturbing injuries on the show, with the rebar sticking out of Cordelia’s ribs. That in turn led to a nice misdirection with the funeral we were supposed to believe was Cordy’s for a minute. Bad Joss!

A few weeks ago I talked about how everyone was in a relationship on this show. Now, in one swift motion, nobody is. Willow and Xander’s kiss destroyed Willow/Oz and Xander/Cordelia in one swift movement. Angel and Buffy realized they needed to stay apart. And Joyce and Giles are just ashamed that they let teenage hormones get the best of them in “Band Candy.” Oh, and poor Spike’s shattered heart is what put all of this into motion.

Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox Home Video

Quotation Marks – Baiting, Treking, and Abstinence

Ivey West — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 20:00:32 +0000

Leverage

“OK, so what do we do now?” – Parker
“Well, I just sent Eddie to the hospital … so lets go steal us a hospital.” – Nate

“If I mention Star Trek One, Three, or Five, then everything’s okay, because the odd ones sucked. But if I mention Two, Four, or Six … What do you do?” – Hardison to Eliot, explaining his “code”
[later in the episode]
[over the intercom] “Would Dr. Ralph O’Conn please report to surgery? Dr. Ralph O’Conn, report to surgery! Ralph O’Conn!” – Hardison warning Eliot of the hit man

True Blood

“I’m so happy I could cry, but I don’t wanna, because it’s really gross when I do.” – Jessica to Hoyt, proving she’s the cutest vampire on TV

“Jason Stackhouse, abstinent.” – Jason
“Sounds good, doesn’t it?” – Luke
“Not really.” – Jason

“In person, she looks like vanilla pudding.” – Sookie, accurately describing Sarah Newlin

“If you don’t go out back right now and take off all your clothes, I will fire you.” – Sam to Daphne, before she turned out an agent of Maryann’s

“But all of them put together ain’t half as bad as if you do it to a vampire. Or to a dude. Or to a vampire dude. That’s like the creme de la creme of sins. There’s no repentance for that. Straight to hell, baby.” – Luke to Jason

In Plain Sight

“I won’t be baited into this conversation.” – Marshall
“I’m not baiting, I’m amusing. The verb, not the adjective.” – Mary
“Thanks for clearing that up. Either way, I’m not giving you the name of the first girl I had sex with.” – Marshall
“Why…? Is it because you’re a virgin?” – Mary
“No, its because you’ll track her down, call her up, and make her tell you all about it.” – Marshall
“So? I told you mine!” – Mary
“Neil Armstrong was not your first.” – Marshall
“Technically no, but who can ever remember that other guy’s name?” – Mary

Hung

“How do you keep from shooting yourself?” – Jessica to Ray, upon seeing his burned shell of a home

“If you ever want to pick out an outfit to match that stick up your ass, give me a call.” – Lenore, handing Jessica her business card in the beauty parlor

“I’ve been a jock, student leader, professional ballplayer, educator … is this really the material from which male prostitutes are made?” – Ray

Selections from the Virgin Diaries

Veronica Mars

“Did you watch House of Wax again? You know that Hilton girl gives you nightmares.” – Keith to Veronica

“Remind me: why did we break up?” – Veronica
“Well, you thought the other guy had greener grass. Or was it something about me being too much man? No, wait. It was you — you were too much man.” – Logan

“You here to confess? Is that your tail I see between your legs?” – Veronica
“No. But I can see how you might get confused.” – Weevil

House

“You met me at a strip club.” – House
“You were the worst two dollars I ever spent.” – Stacy

“You know how they say, ‘you can’t live without love?’ Well, oxygen is even more important.” – House

“I took an oath to do no harm.” – Cameron
“Yeah, well, it’s not like they made you sign it, or anything.” – House

“Are you being intentionally dense?” – Cuddy
[sarcastically] “Huh?” – House

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

“Well, we try not to get killed. That’s part of our whole mission statement: ‘Don’t get killed.’” – Willow

“So, its 118 degrees, and I’m sleeping without a stitch on, when I hear a screaming outside. So I go out stark nude, and a church bus and these three Vamps are feeding on half the Baptists in South Boston. I took out the three Vamps, and this preacher comes up and starts hugging me like there’s no tomorrow. Then the cops pull up and arrest us both.” – Faith
“Wow. They should film that story and show it every Christmas.” – Xander

“Angel was cured.” – Buffy
“I’m sorry?” – Giles
“When I killed him, Angel was cured. [to Willow] Your spell worked at the last minute, Will. I was about to take him out, and, um, something went through him, and he was Angel again. He-he didn’t remember anything that he’d done. He just held me. Um, but i-it was, it was too late, and I, I had to. So I-I told him that I loved him, I kissed him, and I killed him.” – Buffy

Photo Credit: USA Network

CliqueClack TV » Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Can shows truly put their heroes in danger?

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