But, either way, you’re all wrong. So, ha!

There actually is a bond that Henry VIII of The Tudors, and Bill Henrickson of Big Love share, and it’s not how often they get to simulate sex in front of their respective show’s crew. I’ll give you one hint: old guy, white beard, long flowing robes.

That’s right, it’s their relationship to God. What’s that, you say? Henry was a Reformed Catholic, while Bill is a Mormon who believes in the Principle (is that how you’d explain it, Jen?). There isn’t a lot of theology that overlaps between the two beyond the basics.

Okay, so let’s move beyond what anyone reared in a Judeo-Christian society knows and focus instead on our actual overlap: each man led his own church. Didn’t see that one coming, did you?

That’s right; both Henry and Bill founded their own church. Both did so out of a feeling of persecution and a need to protect themselves and their families (in Henry’s case, that included his people, as it should for any good king.) And both made the break more to allow themselves to shelter their flock with their own open arms, as opposed to as a result of a disagreement in theology (Henry’s desire to divorce Catherine, and Bill’s desire to marry Nicki, notwithstanding.)

What amazes me is the utter nerve it must take to do something like that. Forming your own church! Wow! And think about who they were breaking from: Henry from the Pope (he’s a biggie), and Bill first from the Church of Latter Day Saints, and then definitively from the Compound and the Grants. The sheer will it must take to say “I’m now tending to the spiritual needs of my flock, and I can provide for them better than you.” Let’s give that another “wow.” Parenthetically, what ever happened to respecting your elders….

Now, while Bill made this move on a small scale, Henry shifted a world power over from the clutches of a nation unto itself (though Vatican City didn’t exist back then, in practicality it was more than a religion), and led them down his own path. That he proceeded to rape and pillage the Catholic Church as well says little more than that Henry enjoyed being Henry.

Bill, on the other hand, may have put his own life at greater risk by declaring his association with, and then independence from, the Compound and Roman Grant. While the former risked his freedom (that whole illegal thing) and his life (Roman is crazy with a capital “zy”), the latter may just put him in more danger; it’s too soon to tell what exactly his intentions were in the season finale.

Speaking of which, I kind of missed the significance of his reaffirming their little Henrickson home-church, although it could be a Mormon belief that I’m unfamiliar with; possibly, just as a Baptism starts your life pure, so too it may be possible to “baptize” yourself anew and start all over again. I don’t know. What I do know is that Bill finally came to the realization that life had spun out of control for him and his family, and he hopes that he’ll be able to realign them with their ultimate goal: a better place in the next life, and a more meaningful relationship with God in this one.

Henry’s break came more from a hissy-fit. He wanted what he wanted, and when he found the Catholic Church unwilling to give him the answers that he demanded, he walked. And yet, there’s more of a precedence for king as spiritual leader than father and husband as one. One of the oldest battles that Catholicism fought was between monarch and pope, both struggling for ultimate control over a country’s citizens. Both jostling for the number one slot on the totem pole, and, the position of spiritual leader to an uneducated people.

That a king longed to lead his subjects both on the battlefield and in the sanctuary speaks wonders about the relationship that God and man experienced back then. And yet, I find it questionable that Henry be qualified to stand in as the people’s gatekeeper to God. Granted, he never appointed himself ultimate spiritual ruler, but as Catholic tradition was all he knew, there was a certain amount of the role that was by default his when he overthrew Rome.

Whereas, I feel that Bill has a more legitimate claim to his role. The little that I’ve been exposed to Mormonism gives me the impression that Mormons believe that man can have a direct and intimate relationship with God, much like Judaism but rather unlike Catholicism. In this way, it’s as reasonable to think that any learned person could lead others in their journey, the same way that a Rabbi or a Minister does for their congregants.

Now, I don’t know that Bill is really as pious as he likes to believe, or that he’s qualified to welcome an outsider like Nicki’s daughter into his flock, but his caring for the spiritual wellbeing of all those who were damaged the same way that he was growing up is really a remarkable thing to behold. And, it’s the home-church nature of the thing that allows Bill to address the needs of each individual, a feat that Henry could never accomplish, even if he did call himself Pope.

Alright; by now I’m sure I’ve insulted countless people who both do and don’t actively practice their respective religions, so I will leave this topic in your hands. Do you see it, or am I reaching with this one? Who should we fillet alongside Henry next week?

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This weekend, I was watching House re-runs with some friends when one of them told me that Edi Gathegi (Big Love) also appeared in the movie Twilight. The conservative doc traded in his stethoscope for dreadlocks and a sexy torso to play semi-evil vampire Laurent. As Laurent, he is completely unrecognizable. I usually have a pretty good memory for work actors have done, but I thought my friend was wrong until I looked it up.

Anne Dudek, who played Amber (aka Cutthroat Bitch) has also continued working. She has appeared on both Mad Men as Francine Hanson and Big Love as Alby’s first wife, Laura. Of course, my first love is Amber, but I am always happy to see her working. I think Anne Dudek really deserves her own show.

Grumpy, (aka Brennan and actor Andy Comeau) the doc who got fired for faking a polio result in a patient and then curing it with orange juice, has also had further work. I just saw him a couple of weeks ago as a blind date on Trust Me. As soon as he showed up, I didn’t like him because he had faked the polio.

David Morse, the evil Detective Tritter, perhaps got the best gig of anyone who has appeared on House in a recurring role: He played George Washington on the HBO John Adams miniseries. Conversely, even though I hated his character on House, I loved him on John Adams. His Washington was stoic, admirable, and exactly right.

Sela Ward, who played House’s love interest Stacy in Season 2 has only made one appearance since House, though. She played Kevin Costner’s wife in The Guardian. She’s only been in one thing, and that was in 2006. What is up with that?

Who are your favorite House recurring characters? And do you know where they are now?

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If you have not yet seen the Season Finale of Big Love’s fourth season, then you might want to consider not reading this post. I want to start by saying that I was delighted to find that I had accurately called some of the results of the letter sales storyline. I predicted that if Alby were making forgeries, the story could mimic the Mark Hoffman murders of the 1980s. This explosive finale did not disappoint.

In theory, I have claimed to be a fan of vigilante justice. However, seeing the Big Love crew take matters into their own hands was disturbing to watch. How broken do children have to be to determine that their parents have to die? And when your mother is trying to have you killed, is it revenge or self-defense to have your wife make a bomb that you hand-deliver to your mother’s [motel room] front door?

I could actually believe that Alby would try to kill his parents. What surprised me was that he felt the need to blab everything to Adalene about what Bill knows about Roman. Can’t anybody on this show keep their mouth shut? Bill spent the whole episode broadcasting his plans on his cell phone, just so God could laugh at him. I think Alby’s confession shows that even though he hates his parents for how they have mistreated him, deep down, he still simply wants their approval and love. He wants to be the favored son, and if he can’t be it, apparently no one can.

Considering how clever Roman is and how crafty and sneaky he is, it was disturbing to see him finally stilled. I suppose it was inevitable. A couple of years ago, I speculated that Bill wanted control of Juniper Creek. I said at the time that only Roman’s removal would allow that to happen. Without even knowing that Joey was squeezing the life out of Roman, Bill established his own church. After Roman had told him to claim authority from God, Bill did exactly that. He conferred upon himself the authority to establish his own church because the other churches (Latterday Saint and Juniper Creek) were corrupt.

It was interesting that he administered the Sacrament to his family to seal his new religion; I would have thought they would need to be baptized into the new church. The Sacrament is to remind you of those baptismal covenants. Oh well, at this point, I guess he can do what he wants. Despite the fact that it creeps me out to see people running around starting their own churches like that, within the storylines of Big Love, I think it’s exciting.

Apart from the fact that maybe Barb will take heart from having a new faith, Bill’s placing himself at the head of a new church is going to cause a splinter to occur at Juniper Creek. Citizens there who have been exposed to first Roman’s and then Alby’s reigns of terror are going to want Bill to save them. Adaleen is still a force to be reckoned with. With Roman gone, her only hope for power lies through Alby. As we know, Alby and Adaleen are both prone to violence; will Bill rise to meet them?

In the war for power, I think it’s going to be important for Bill to hold onto Nicki as his wife. Even though she undermines him at every turn, it’s still safer for him and his family not to have Nicki actively siding with her mother and brother.

These events also shed new light on Barb’s ex-communication. Barb made the ultimate choice: She chose Bill and her family over her eternal salvation. She is taking a leap of faith in a new church, with a new leader. The fact that she chose Bill means that she isn’t going to turn back now. She has to demonstrate to herself that she made the right choice, that her sacrifice matters. I think we will see Barb seize the reigns of her own power as first wife in the next season. At least, I really hope so.

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As I said in a recent post, about Big Love, even though I was raised Mormon, I still don’t know what occurs in the temple endowment ceremony. From what I’ve read about Mormon reactions to the “Outer Darkness” episode, people seemed to think that the details were accurate, but the lack of context makes what was depicted meaningless to outsiders. I had thought along similar lines while watching the episode.

I wasn’t disturbed by what was shown in the temple scenes of the episode. However, for the first time since watching the show, my Mormon background positively bristled with the inconsistencies and inaccuracies in this episode. Ultimately, to viewers who care more about the integrity of the story than the integrity of the religious details, these inaccuracies probably don’t matter. However, in the context of the characters and the story, I’d like to set the record straight.

1. I had been almost positive that the show would depict the endowment ceremony as a flashback to when Barb had made these deep covenants in the church. However, in this episode, she begs her mother and sister to let her borrow a temple recommend so she can perform this ceremony the day before she is to face ex-communication.

Wait just a minute.

For one thing, a devout believer would never try to enter the temple on someone else’s recommend, although ostensibly it could be done. As far as I know, the recommends are not yet photo IDs, though they have gone from being little slips of paper when I was a youth to laminated cards now. If Barb entered the temple as her mother, she couldn’t have taken out endowments in her own name, so her vows would be invalid anyway. Also, her mother and sister were with her in the temple; whose recommend did she use to get in?

2. If you were facing ex-communication as a true believer, taking out your endowments would be the LAST thing you would want to do. Those are serious covenants, and they would be repealed with the ex-communication anyway. Everything she did in the temple was undone by her ex-communication. It doesn’t make any sense. Even if it was something she felt she had to experience, she probably wouldn’t play fast and hard with her salvation like that; as she told Bill, she was frightened. As I wrote in my post the other day, I don’t know that I could have left the church if I had already taken out my endowments. For Barb to have done that would have made her ex-communication even more devastating than it was.

3. It’s absolutely inconceivable to me that Barb had not already been through the temple to experience this ceremony. It’s well-known in the series that Bill held a position in his congregation’s governance. He was a faithful member of the church for 15 years; they were married and had children as Latter-Day Saints. Bill joined the church. It is inconceivable that they were not sealed in the temple during this time, which would have been predicated on first taking part in the endowment ceremony. I was able to overcome what I perceived to be inaccuracies; however, I was irritated by them.

4. Bill should have faced ex-communication at the same time. It was his testimony of plural marriage, and technically he is the polygamist. The show has dealt with Bill’s crises of faith, so I am not sure why he didn’t face the court (I have never heard the term “Love Court” before either — anybody know if that’s accurate?) at the same time as Barb. Though, I’m not sure he would have cared, because he does not believe in the Mormon church. However, as a business man with a reputation to consider, that would have been its own kind of blow.

5. Barb wasn’t facing Outer Darkness, despite the name of the episode. Mormons don’t believe in Hell; what Barb faced was not being able to achieve the highest degree of glory in Heaven. Outer darkness (just what it sounds like– no light anywhere, endless darkness) is a fate reserved for people who know the truth about God and turn their backs on it. I mean KNOW as in God told them HIMSELF. It is widely acknowledged that this hardly ever happens. And it certainly wasn’t going to happen to Barb.

And now, I am about to contradict what I said in point 2. Even though rationally, a person might not rush to take out their endowments while facing ex-communication, the thing that made me able to understand, emotionally, what Barb did was the scene in which Bill and Nicki had sex after Bill had told her he wanted to end the marriage. Presumably, after you plan to end your marriage, you don’t turn around and have sex with your spouse. And yet, it happens. It’s confusing and messy, but it happens. And I think the parallel storyline of Bill ending his marriage with Nicki was deliberate; Nicki and Barb are both facing ex-communication and devastation, and both acted desperately because they were desperate.

Despite the inaccuracies, I thought it was a very moving episode. I am not sure who I pity more: Nicki or Barb. Both storylines were excruciating in their own ways. What did you think?

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I was raised in the Mormon Church. I was baptized and attended Brigham Young University for two years. I have entered Mormon temples to be sealed to my parents and brother. I have performed baptisms for the dead. However, I never took part in the endowment ceremony that is going to be depicted on Big Love on March 15. Therefore, I am curious about what parts of the ceremony will be shown on this week’s show.

You might think that, as a former Mormon (I removed my name from the church’s records in 1997), I would know about the endowment ceremony. However, not only are the temple ordinances not spoken of with non-members; they are also not discussed outside the temple, or among members who have not yet attended. Even though I have read accounts written by former members and have spoken with Mormon friends and family members, I couldn’t honestly tell you what happens in those ceremonies. The fact that Mormons hold these ceremonies to be sacred and not appropriate for casual conversation are one of the reasons that Mormons are angry that this subject matter will play any role in any television show, period — not just Big Love.

When Mormons are baptized, they make promises called covenants with God. They promise to keep the commandments and to repent of their sins, among other things, as I recall. This is not extraordinary for religions. When a young man or woman is preparing to go on a mission for the church or to marry, they seek a temple recommend. The recommend process involves two meetings with two church leaders in which you answer questions about the integrity with which you conduct your life; you cannot enter the Mormon temple without this recommend, unless the temple has not yet been dedicated.

The endowment ceremony, as it is called, is a ceremony at which Mormons enter into deeper covenants with God. I don’t know what these covenants are; as I said, I have never done it. The show’s creators insist that depicting the endowment ceremony is critical to understanding Barb’s relationship with the church — particularly as she faces losing it. I assumed, in watching the show, that Barb had been ex-communicated from the church when she and Bill decided to embrace polygamy. However, it seems entirely possible that Barb remains a member of the church. After all, they are not completely public with their lifestyle.

To be asked to leave the church, or to leave it voluntarily AFTER these covenants have been made is a very serious and painful thing for most people who have been true believers in the faith. I was a true believer; if I had already taken out my endowments (as it is called to go through the temple), I don’t know that I could have removed my name from the church’s records. I am not sure I could have done so, at any rate, without believing my soul was in peril. As it was, leaving the church as an arduous process.

I am only writing about my own particular experience with this to try put Barb’s feelings into perspective. The show won’t have the time to fully depict any Latter-Day Saint temple ceremonies; therefore, I can’t help but wonder about whether any LDS reaction to this episode is a thinly-veiled plea for attention. [This post is a completely unveiled plea for attention. Look over here!!!] However, I think the depiction will show what I have tried to explain: Barb’s attendance in the temple amplifies both her commitment to the church, and her potential devastation if she is ex-communicated. It may not seem like a huge thing to outsiders and observers, but, and forgive me for being glib because I am actually very serious: I feel Barb’s pain.

I’m curious: Will you be watching? And are you LDS?

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When we first met Nicki, she was a spoiled, indulgent girl with a big spending problem. However, it makes sense: She went from a very sheltered life on the compound, where she had no power, to having credit cards. She felt entitled, so she bought herself a lot of things. It’s not hard to figure out that she was trying to buy feelings of love and acceptance that she certainly never gotten at home. Her parents and siblings are manipulative psychopaths. So, if Nicki’s a little messed up, too, she comes by it pretty honestly.

Nicki is also a hypocrite. It’s a survival technique, apparently. Everyone on the compound lies. The men all claim that polygamy is necessary to eternal salvation, but they barter and trade for young wives like they are Pokemon cards. The only power the women can claim is by vocally accepting polygamy and vying for the highest positions within their marriages. I have been so focused on Barb’s struggles with polygamy that it never occurred to me that Nicki might be having her own problems with it. Though, with what we have discovered about Nicki this season, everything is starting to make sense.

Nicki may have been in love with Bill, but she was chosen for him and given to him. This, after her first marriage, which she managed to escape only through being Roman Grant’s daughter. Ray’s attention to Nicki in the D.A.’s office was probably the first time she ever had a man flirt with her who didn’t completely creep her out. She likely didn’t get taken on dates; she didn’t need to be wooed when she was being given away.

She told Ray in this week’s episode that working at the D.A.’s office was the only time in her life she had ever liked who she was. She was judged only by the quality of the work she did and who she was; not for being someone’s daughter, sister, or wife. Whether or not Nicki loves Bill and the rest of the family may be irrelevant. She is, perhaps, finally starting to love herself. She is also beginning to see herself as someone who could work, support herself, and be wooed. Those are pretty big steps toward actualization.

It is through Nicki’s journey, even more than Ronda’s and the trial, that we begin to see how insidious polygamy really is. We are supposed to be sympathetic to polygamy because we like the Henricksons so much. However, we have been seduced. Bill’s patriarchy and the narrow-minded function of the principle are becoming more and more evident. If Nicki returns to the Henricksons, she will be forced to stop taking the pill and to have more babies. Her life’s purpose will be devoted to the family’s good. She may face an uncertain future without them, but it’s one she could choose. And the only way she may be able to escape criminal charges might be to be the last witness against Roman Grant. She would not only escape criminal charges, but in doing so, she might ultimately be free.

Would you go back?

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It’s hard to write this without seeming to malign the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS). The LDS Church has a history of buying historical documents that show its history in a somewhat unflattering light. Ostensibly, the Church wants to obtain documents relevant to its history for its archives. However, another reason that has been put forth is that the Church has secrets it wants to hide. These documents are not available for public perusal.

In the 1980s, a man named Mark Hoffman created forgeries of old papers and letters from Joseph Smith. These documents would have shown the Church’s first prophet, Smith, to have received visions from a white salamander, among other things. Even though the documents have been proven to be forgeries, the Church’s interest in obtaining them from Hoffman for thousands of dollars each caused the Church to be viewed in a somewhat negative light. I’m trying to be fair here.

The real tragedy of Hoffman’s forgeries, however, was the fact that people discovered his scheme. Hoffman responded by murdering them. He is currently serving time in prison in Utah.

Back to our show: Bill agreed to obtain documents from Alby Grant to sell to Barbara’s brother-in-law Gary. Bill was told that the letter he sold to Gary was about the Mountain Meadows Murders, another stain on the Church’s history. However, one of Alby’s wives, angry at being removed from the schedule to have sex with Alby, gave Bill a copy of the letter: The letter that Bill received was from historical church leaders showing that they had no intention of giving up polygamy.

If that document were made public, it would validate “the principle” of polygamy that the Hendricksons base their faith and lifestyle on. It would also show that the Mormon Church still adhered to the principle (which they do; not on earth, but after this life). However, Gary, turned the letter over to the Church, so it will be buried.

The reason this storyline could become explosive is if the letter is made public somehow OR if we find out that Alby is making forgeries and selling them to the Church. It is possible, given Alby’s violent nature, that Big Love could be looking to repeat the Mark Hoffman story, which would be explosive indeed.

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Granted, I don’t have a penis, so maybe I’m just clueless. But why does Bill need Viagra if he has a variety pack at home? Bill insists that he doesn’t have Viagra for just one wife. Yet, he manages to be, ahem, virile after one kiss from sexy Margene in her bikini.

Barb spits at Bill, “I’m pretty sure this wasn’t a problem when it was just us!” So, is it really Nicki? Or is Bill just tired with all of the stresses of having eight children, two businesses, three wives, and Roman’s trial? Also, what about the fact that Nicki has bought Bill a cardigan to wear, like “Ray” from the office? What will happen to the entire marriage if Nicki and Bill are having problems in bed?

It may not seem that Viagra is cause for alarm. However, this is not the first time that the show has addressed Bill’s need for it. The first time Bill took Viagra, he was genuinely tired and having trouble with all three wives. However, he took too much and endangered his health, so he was ordered not to take it. I was curious to see the issue revisited because of that health issue; that is the reason I think it might have more significance now than it did before. Especially if he is taking it only for Nicki.

Apart from Bill’s bedroom responsibilities (oh, all that wasted effort for four years while Nicki was on the pill!), it seems that there are cracks also in the spiritual surface. Of the entire family, only Nicki, who had a drink with Ana and is on the pill, has perfect faith that the family is on the right spiritual path.

Margene is dealing with the crisis of Ben’s crush; Barb cannot refrain from always pointing out that life was better or easier before they chose polygamy; and Bill himself cannot find God, even in the most spiritual of journeys.

As Nicki pointed out, they are already a bunch of divorcees. What will happen if another wife decides to leave? Will that mean the complete breakdown of the family? Or worse, what if Bill decides that he can’t do this anymore? Nah, that would never happen. Right?

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I have to say, I would have dumped Bill, et al., too after that lackluster, hillbilly backyard wedding and Bill running to a meeting directly afterwards. For something as serious as eternal marriage, nobody really seems to have explained to Ana how things were going to work afterwards, with daily wives meetings, tasks from Barb, and shared living spaces.

If you ask me, this marriage never had a chance. I felt kind of ripped off by the whole episode. What are the repercussions going to be for this divorce? Does this put anybody’s spiritual health in peril? Is Bill to blame for this, as the head of the family?

I think the episode also raises larger issues: What constitutes a marriage? I mean, it’s not like Ana can really get a divorce. They joined hands in an illegal backyard ceremony. It never seemed to me that Bill and Ana were actually married. And yet, I believe in his marriages to Margene and Nicki, though they are no more “real” or “legal” than Bill’s marriage to Ana.

No wonder Nicki always feels threatened about her position in the family. She has no protection at all. Granted, Bill has established trusts for all of his wives and children, it’s still difficult not to feel precariously perched.

I think the lesson to be learned from this is: Don’t marry outside your faith. In order for Ana to feel truly married, to feel that she couldn’t just run away the moment things were complicated, she had to really believe that she had married them in an eternal ceremony. Margene isn’t a true believer, but she truly believes in Bill, Barb, and Nicki. Ana was always — by her own admission — too independent for the family. She never believed in the principle: For her, it was more like joining a commune, but not really being an eternal member of the family.

This episode also re-raised Barb’s own misgivings about her lifestyle. She wanted Ana so she would have felt that she was making the right choice in this life. How much of Barb is really a facade, is really just faking it? Will this episode create permanent cracks in the family? Or will it test and then strengthen their faith as they move on?

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Whatever Adaleen is, she is a pragmatist at heart. I don’t think her actions stem from religious fervor, though. I think they come from a pathological desire for power. Let’s take a look at some of the things Adaleen has done [lately] to maintain her position as Roman’s one and … well, many.

1. She has thrown Nicki under the bus several times, starting when she let her daughter be married to a much older man when Nicki was a teenager. All for the greater good, of course.

2. She heavily insinuated that it was she who tried to have Alby killed in a bathroom. It’s obvious that Adaleen knows that Alby is gay, and she is determined not to allow Alby to usurp her husband’s power. Even if it means doing away with her son.

3. She uses money stolen from the compound to bribe Rhonda out of town, hissing at her, “Nobody really cares about you,” which feeds into Rhonda’s worst fears. She then sends Rhonda to a fate that will probably be worse than Rhonda would have met at the hands of the prophet.

4. Adaleen plants Nicki in the D.A.’s office so Nicki can steal evidence willy-nilly. Nicki feeds Adaleen the names of the witnesses so Adaleen can thwart them.

5. Adaleen kidnaps Jolean’s son so Jolean will refute Kathy’s testimony about how old they were when they were married to Ron. After Jolean testifies, Roman walks free.

I’m not really sure which is more impressive: The ways in which Adaleen gets information and manipulates people into working for her or her complete lack of moral ambiguity when it comes to sending Rhonda to her doom or coercing Jolean’s testimony. Adaleen doesn’t seem to have a sense of the greater good at heart: Her goal is to keep Roman in power, no matter what. This, of course, protects her own power.

What I am curious to find out is whether she would choose Roman or herself, when push comes to shove. She has shown that she is capable of betraying her children, so why not the prophet himself? The major difference between Adaleen and Lady Macbeth is that Adaleen, so far, doesn’t seem to feel any remorse for what she has done.

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YES.

Ana and Bill secretly slept together two episodes ago, when they thought they were breaking up. They haven’t told the three wives about it. Then, Bill went berserk about her infidelity when Ana slept with Matt. Ana, in the meantime, thinks Bill is a complete hypocrite. And so the carousel goes, around and around and around. So, let’s let Ana get pregnant (ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease) so that there is a question about paternity.

What do you think Bill would do? Would he be more worried about claiming (or determining) paternity? Or would he be more worried about what his three wives are going to do to him when they find out that he not only cheated on all of them with Ana, but that he also has now gotten her pregnant?

What would they do if it’s not Bill’s child? And would Bill be smart enough to have a paternity test done before he opened his big mouth? Even better: What would happen if it weren’t Bill’s child? Or if it were, but Ana decided to break up with him … er, them. That would be an interesting custody battle.

Oh, the possibilities are delicious. I haven’t heard anything, no rumors, not a whisper. I just suddenly thought the other day, “Oh, wow, Ana has slept with two men now. Interesting….” and things sort of took off from there.

But am I right?

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Wow. I had no idea that Nicki had been married before she married Bill. This really helps explain the debt she racked up in the first season. She was probably buying things to compensate for feeling that she had been undervalued in the past. Or worse, betrayed.

I had the feeling that Nicki had no idea she had been in the Book of Joy before she saw her entry there. I wonder how she felt, seeing herself on display like that, like an object or a commodity. Wanda might be crazy, but I am pretty sure she was telling the truth about Nicki being given to a man she couldn’t stand when she was 15 years old.

Her marriage when she was a teenager explains why Nicki is satisfied to live away from the compound, too. She is safe in suburban Utah with the Henricksons. Marriage to Bill was an escape route.

What is more complicated is her extreme loyalty to Roman. Does she have intense gratitude toward him because she was released from her first marriage? Or does she hate him so much for her past that she is having an extreme reaction and responding with out-of-place familial loyalty?

I think it’s pretty clear that Nicki is going to crack. But I’m not yet sure whether she will turn against Roman. If her faith in Roman, her faith in the prophet, and in the religion itself gets destroyed by the fact that she is starting to confront her past, will she want to continue living The Principle? I wonder whether Nicki will be compelled to testify in the trial, and what that will do to her in the process. Especially because I think she will be compelled by Bill, who is now on a mission to bring Roman down.

Do you think she would ever leave Bill, Barb and Margene? Or is she too insecure for that?

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(Season 3, Episode 2 – “Empire”)

Barb is the wife I relate to the most. Maybe she is the wife everybody relates to the most– I don’t know. I adore Margene, but Barb is my favorite. So, I was nervous when she started seeing doctors and having scans to check for a recurrence of cancer.

Barb has spent the last seven years struggling with polygamy. She has her own goals and aspirations; leading two other wives and juggling five more children doesn’t always fit with her needs. So, to see her suddenly embrace Ana as a potential fourth wife is as baffling to us as it is to Sarah– except that she must be looking for a replacement. She must think that if something happens to her, the entire family will fall apart with only Nicki and Margene at the reigns.

So, now that she is cancer free, is she going to change her mind about Ana and a fourth wife? I don’t think she is.

When Barb had cancer the first time, it was only when she accepted moving into polygamy with Nicki as a second wife, and only after a blessing she received from Roman Grant, that Barb was cured. She has been cancer-free for seven years. However, suddenly, when she is showing the most resistance to polygamy and has ultimately shut down the growth of the family by forbidding a fourth wife, she has a legitimate cancer scare. And when she repents and begins Ana’s formal courtship? She finds out she is healthy.

In many ways, the cancer represents Barb’s leaving the “true” path set forth by the Juniper Creek church. She is physically healed only when she is spiritually healthy. When Barb and Bill were Latter-day Saints and living a monogamous life, Barb was spiritually sick, so she got cancer. If the cancer doesn’t actually represent these things, I think the case can be argued that it represents these things to her.

This leads me to another aspect of Barb. It’s one thing to accept Ana as a fourth wife, but I think Nicki has some legitimate points about privacy in her own marriage to Bill. If the wives are chosen because of their ability to grow the family through having children, then how are any of them supposed to feel like they are legitimate people with legitimate needs? No wonder Nicki is so messed up. She has been raised to be a brood mare. In some ways, it’s unfair and deceitful to Nicki to try to bolster her standing in the family if they are going to pressure her to get pregnant.

Perhaps the saddest thing of all is that Barb feels that she must succumb to a truth that she doesn’t really like. When she gets all gooey-eyed and starts talking about her testimony of polygamy (that she is so happy she will know what her family in heaven is going to look like), she seems like little more than a Stepford Wife.

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(Season 3, Episode 1 – “Block Party” – Season Premiere)

They’re baaaaaaaack! If you’re like me, you’re delighted to be back in the Henrickson/Grant/Heffman home(s) with the premiere of the third season of Big Love. Roman Grant is still in jail, and it was hilarious when the lawyers were explaining that the charge was basically rape of underage girls without using the word “rape.” Of course, he doesn’t like that word; it comes with a heftier prison sentence.

Once again, the family is dealing with potential publicity; Alby’s antics, Nicki’s lies, and multiple secrets. For an open and close-knit family, these people never tell each other anything except what time to show up for dinner. But that is one of the beautiful characteristics of the show. Usually Nicki is the one with the worst secrets, but this season, I think Barb might beat her.

I was happy to see Ana back again. It never occurred to me, though — not once for two seasons — that Barb’s cancer might return. That was disturbing and shocking. Perhaps I thought it wouldn’t happen because the family made such a big deal about Barb being healed by Roman. Barb is supposed to be alive because she accepted Nicki into the marriage and embraced the principles of polygamy. Now, her thinking is that if she accepts Ana, maybe she can beat her cancer again. Either that, or she thinks Ana is going to be one hell of a mother.

What did you think of the fact that Bill finally slept with Ana? Inevitable? Or is Bill starting to slip in his faithfulness to his religion? I think, knowing Bill, he’ll deal with it by saying the ends justified the means, especially if Ana joins the family. It was this episode before I really understood what their eternal beliefs are about polygamy, about having a larger family to better serve God. I was glad that Barb explained it, too, because I have never really understood why she went along with this.

I’m not surprised that Sarah feels like she needs to leave Utah — she could get into all kinds of trouble in college! But I was absolutely gobsmacked that the reason why the neighbors the O’Hares didn’t want Teenie to play with their sons was that she was charging $0.50/picture for glances at Playboy. That was brilliant, and really showed the Henricksons that hoofprints (being ostracized by the neighbors) don’t always mean there are horses (anti-polygamy sentiment) coming; sometimes there are zebras (lush entrepreneurism).

Some great humorous moments: When Nicki tells her boss that her name is Margene Heffman. For one thing, she was pretending to be an airhead, which made the remark funny to me, rather than just evasive about her true identity. Adaleen is always hilarious, especially when she is telling Nicki that she knows Alby is gay, “with that Tap, Tap, Tap.” Another one was the look on Alby’s face when he drove past Adaleen and started to figure out that maybe it wasn’t Bill who tried to have him killed in the bathroom.

Finally, I’m getting a little sick of the Henricksons always harboring someone from The Compound who is being mistreated or needs their help and intervention. It’s just getting a little old, like the show is laboring for subplots in order to try to keep The Compound in the show. It seems forced. Especially when I really want to get back to whether Barb has cancer and whether Ana is going to date the family.

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