Within the last week, I’ve enjoyed two episodes of Psych from last season (finally caught up!), as well as the pilot of White Collar (twice), the new and extremely exciting series that premiered last weekend. And the latter included commercials for the upcoming season of Burn Notice. All of which actually got me thinking that, if not for the atypical situation of my being behind on one series, and a new one premiering, I might be spending long stretches of time with no USA Network whatsoever.

Now I’ll grant you that that’s not so strange, considering that the major networks take summers off (well, used to … and still should, judging by their offerings), and that USA offers only a handful of original programming. But what about the fact that I want what I want?

So I figured, why not just take it? USA has crafted such three-dimensional characters, that presumably they can be plucked from location “A” and dropped into “B” with nary a hiccup. I actually had a thought along those lines while watching the pilot of White Collar, when I imagined Michael Westen trying to locate a source who’d been arrested by Peter Burke and the FBI, only to be holed up with Mary Shannon in New Mexico. Maybe he hires Shawn and Gus to help locate the guy? It actually could work quite well — they did manage those Monk farewell commercials, as well as the “welcome to the neighborhood ones” from Burn Notice to Royal Pains.

But a crossover, while an awesome idea, is on them to produce. What does that do for me while I wait? So I had a better idea, at least in the sense of its immediacy. We’re all creative, right? So here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to mentally pluck a two-person team from each of five USA original series, and relocate them all to one (original) Melrose Place-style apartment complex in some sunny, as yet to be determined locale — and we need an awesome name for the complex, too.

Where applicable, the tandems will be gainfully employed in their chosen professions, albeit relocated. But it’ll be the nightly group gatherings, as well as the cross-collaborations, that will make for the interesting read.

Who’re the lucky sweepstakes winners? Well, we have Neal Caffrey and Peter Burke (White Collar), Michael Westen and Fiona Glenanne (Burn Notice), Hank Lawson and Divya Katdare (Royal Pains), Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster (Psych), and Mary Shannon and Marshall Mann (In Plain Sight). Sure they’ll host some visitors (preferably limited to Sam Axe, Madeline Westin, Evan R. Lawson, Juliet O’Hara, Carlton Lassiter, Henry Spencer, and Bobby D.), but the main focus is on the above ten.

So, it’s up to you, mad scientists. I can certainly craft one or two “adventures of,” but what would you like to see if these ten people ever came together? Who do you think would click, and who would be at one another’s throats (and it counts even if they already are on their own show). Any potential romances? Cross-collaborative cases?

Go nuts … their characters are now in your hands.

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Highlights of the Week

• There was a time when I was a huge fan of the WWF/E. It was Andre the Giant and George “The Animal” Steele back then, though I kept up through the early days of Steve Austin and the Undertaker. I still keep some awareness of the soap opera there. And considering I watched the first several, it makes me feel old that we’re celebrating The 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania. (Sat. 9pm, NBC)
• It’s always sad when the boys say goodbye to another season of Penn & Teller: Bullshit! It’s the best combination of entertainment and information that you’ll see. And I’m sure there’ll be absolutely nothing controversial about the magicians tackling the Vatican in this finale. (Thu. 10pm, Showtime)
• I’m glad to see that Royal Pains will be back, as it turned into a great summer getaway to the Hamptons. Sadly, it’s back to the real world for the rest of us as it wraps its first season. (Thu. 10pm, USA)
• Some of the best television of the summer has been coming to us from the UK. This week wraps the too short first season of Being Human; the story of a ghost, vampire and werewolf trying to live like normal people. (Sat. 9pm, BBC America)
• The movies brought the show back. Futurama: Into the Wild GreenYonder is the last of those movies, making it’s debut on Comedy Central. Sit back, enjoy and think about the beautiful Futurama to come. (Sun. 9pm)

Premieres & Specials

• Orlando Jones and Dan Cortese join forces to host ABC’s Crash Course, the reality show that puts you in the driver’s seat. No, really. The show puts pairs of people with a pre-existing relationship onto an “extreme” course and they race to the finish line. What could go wrong, aside from exploding cars, death and dismemberment? (Wed. 9pm)
• The Discovery Channel is promising a whole new perspective on one of the most studied civilizations of the ancient world in Out of Egypt, airing two installments back-to-back. (Mon. 9pm)
• I’m not sure how they managed to pull a whole series out of this, but if you’re fascinated with tattoos, their history and significance then you’ll not want to miss the premiere of Marked. (Thu. 9pm, History)
• MTV tackles the world of viral videos with Pranked, looking at the best pranks by regular people caught on film. (Thu. 10:30pm)
• Sunday’s a big night for The CW. Things kick off with The Tyra Show’s Top Ten Moments. Then check out The CW Fall 2009 Preview Special before you settle in for The 36th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards red carpet show, an then the show itself. (Sun. 6pm)
• Spinning out of Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is, is Frankie & Neffe. The new series chronicles their lives as they move away from Cole to find their own path. (Tue. 10:30pm, BET)
• Football this week: Monday Night Football is Jets at Ravens (8pm, ESPN). We’ve also got Dolphins at Buccaneers (Thu. 8pm, FOX), Patriots at Redskins (Fri. 8pm, CBS) and Chargers at Atlanta (Sat. 8pm, CBS). We’ll wrap the week with Sunday Night Football on NBC with the Bears at the Broncos (8pm).
• But the new doesn’t stop there — we’ve also got The Rachel Zoe Project (Mon. 10pm, Bravo), Rob Drydek’s Fantasy Factory (Thu. 9pm, MTV), Bully Beatdown (Thu. 9:30pm, MTV), Nitro Circus (Thu. 10pm, MTV), and 24/7 Mayweather/Marquez (Sat. 10:15pm, HBO).

Finales

• I enjoyed the ABC experiment Dating in the Dark. It wasn’t the most amazing show ever, but it was interesting to see how much looks did and didn’t impact the connections people might make. It wraps its first, and possibly last, season tonight. (Mon. 9pm)
• Nurse Jackie has generated a lot of buzz for star Edie Falco and Showtime. But it’s also generated some controversy, and vocal detractors. This week, it gives us its first season finale so we can all step back and take a breather. (Mon. 10:30pm)
• So, um, The Great American Road Trip is ending tonight. What a trainwreck this show turned out to be. But it’s NBC, so it might be back next summer anyway. (Mon. 8pm)
• What’s the deal with “finales” in the middle of a season these days? Why the long hiatus in the middle of a run? Summer finales are on tap for The Closer (Mon. 9pm, TNT), Make It or Break It (Mon. 9pm, ABC Family) and Raising the Bar (Mon. 10pm, TNT).
• You’re gonna wanna grab your hankie if you’re fans of these shows as they say goodbye: Cake Boss (Mon. 10pm, TLC), Tiny & Toya (Tue. 10pm, BET), Monsterquest (Wed. 9pm, History), Michael & Michael Have Issues (Wed, 10:30pm, Comedy Central), and I Survived… (Sun. 9pm, Biography).

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The repetitive nature of the summer ratings have me so looking forward to the return of full schedules in the fall. Remember what that’s like? When CBS runs more than Big Brother, and The CW offers more than one burn-off episode of Easy Money. It was another week very much like so many of the previous weeks. Each of the big four networks has its summer reality tent-pole, and not a lot more. Meanwhile, over on cable, more good news for True Blood, Warehouse 13, and the Real Housewives.

ABC - The finale of The Bachelorette (9.93m/3.5) was the big winner for the week. Those are very good numbers, especially given that they are right on pace with last season’s finale. That probably helped Dating In The Dark (6.36m/2.5) retain most of its premiere audience. It will be interesting to see what happens to DITD next week, without The Bachelorette. The Bachelorette’s wrap up show, “After The Final Rose” (6.36m/2.5), also did well. Elsewhere, the network offered I Survived A Japanese Game Show (3.78m/1.4), Surviving Suburbia (2.6m/.6) and The Goode Family (1.78m/.5), but nobody was really interested.

NBC - America’s Got Talent continued to soar through the summer with appearances on Tuesday (12.76m/3.4) and Wednesday (10.9m/2.8). Unfortunately, that’s the extent of the highlights. Sunday’s pairing of Merlin (4.21m/1.1) and The Storm (4.9m/1.1) was rather mediocre. Although, it was still better than Monday’s Great American Road Trip (3.56m/1) and The Wanted (2.17m/.5). The Philanthropist (4.95m/1.4) made a little more noise, but that’s against no competition and following the most watched show on the network.

CBS – You could call it a down week for the network I suppose, considering that they only managed to take the viewer honors on two nights. But then, Big Brother was once again the only new programming, so even that has to look like a bit of a success. The show continues to tread water on Sunday (6.17m/1.9), Tuesday (6.16m/2.1), and Thursday (6.4m/2).

FOX – It’s not a lot, but at least FOX has offered up a new show to keep an eye on. The premiere of More To Love (4.23m/1.9) wasn’t spectacular, but it does have the potential to increase those numbers moving forward. That was following Hell’s Kitchen (6.78m/1.9). The week really picked up as So You Think You Can Dance worked down to their final four on Wednesday (7.63m/3) and Thursday (7.4m/2.5). The only other new programming came from Mental (2.92m/.8).

CW – I’ve mostly been ignoring The CW all summer, and judging by the numbers, so have most of you. They did offer up a new episode of Easy Money (.41m/.2), which didn’t do any better than the burned off episodes of Valentine.

Cable – I’ve yet to see the viewer numbers for Burn Notice and Royal Pains this week, but you can make a pretty good guess that they were good. The network did send out a press release trumpeting the fact that it finished July as the #1 cable network, with much thanks to both shows. Things are going so well that both of them have now been renewed.

HBO was in on the renewal game as well. After the latest True Blood (4m) continued the strong season, the network announced that the show has been renewed. Sookie and Eric (please, not Bill…) will be keeping the same company, as Hung and Entourage were also renewed. Keeping to that renewal theme, TLC is ordering up another run of Cake Boss. I’ve never watched the show, assuming it was just a complete ripoff of Ace Of Cakes, but apparently it has averaged 2.3 million viewers, which isn’t bad at all.

Not renewed yet, but a sure thing no doubt, Warehouse 13 (3.3m) continues to be a success. Those 3.3m viewers also came with series highs in Adults 18-49 and Adults 25-54. Finally, Real Housewives Of Atlanta (2.66m) set a record for a Real Housewives premiere, so I would assume you can look forward to more Real Housewives of some geographic location soon.

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Okay, I did edit the original “Talkin’ Baseball’ lyrics just a bit for the title, for context. While the All-Star game was the big deal in ratings this week, there was some great news over on cable for Michael and the gang. And really, most of the exciting stuff, where ratings are concerned anyway, was on cable this week. Warehouse 13 had a strong second outing, TNT had premieres for Leverage and Dark Blue, and HBO dusted off Entourage for another go. There was even a Potter sighting. With the networks, it was baseball, and a lot more of the same.

FOX - As is the usual case with the FOX summer, there isn’t a lot to report. But what there is, is pretty good news. On the strength of the All-Star Game (14.6m/4), the network took 5 of 7 nights in the demo. The kids from So You Think You Can Dance chipped in, doing their part on Wednesday (6.85m/2.6) and Thursday (7.05m/2.5). The small drop Thursday is a bit curious, considering there was no competition, but the show remains a solid summer hit. Wrapping up, 5th Grader (4.88m/1) and Mental (3.7m/.9) continue to plug along on the FOX Friday.

CBS - The other big winner for the week, CBS was the most watched network on 4 of 7 nights. That, despite the fact that the only new programming to speak of was Big Brother on Sunday (6.76m/2), Tuesday (6.26m/2.2), and Thursday (5.57m/1.9). I’m still not sure I understand the thinking behind the CBS Summer schedule, but it’s hard to argue with the results.

ABC - Taking the completely opposite approach, ABC continues to throw all manner of programming at the wall. Unfortunately, very little of it is sticking. One of the bright spots continues to be The Bachelorette (7.91m/2.7). The show is now firmly in control of Mondays, in both demo and viewers. That led to reasonable numbers for the Here Come The Newlyweds (4.99m/2) finale. Wipeout (7.66m/2.6) was down just a bit, but remains strong, and I Survived A Japanese Game Show (4.41m/1.7) did show small gains. Elsewhere, it’s just not pretty. The Superstars (3.77m/1.2) were stuck in the cargo net going up against the All-Star Game, but actually look successful compared to Better Off Ted (2.57m/1). And things wrap up with the FRI/SAT disaster of Surviving Suburbia (2.62m/.7), The Goode Family (1.63m/.5), and Dirty Sexy Money (2.15m/.6).

NBC - Things didn’t get off to a very good start with the premiere of the latest disaster mini-series, Meteor (5.04m/1.1). Of course, that’s still much better than the show’s Sunday night partner, Merlin (3.65m/.9). And a new night didn’t do anything for Great American Road Trip (3.3m/.9) on Monday. Fortunately, NBC does have America’s Got Talent. The show was actually up on Tuesday (13.17m/3.6), despite facing baseball. Then, on Wednesday (11.38m/2.9), it was the most watched show and had the highest demo for the  night. It’s just too bad that NBC has nothing to pair it with. Despite that boost, The Philanthropist (4.35m/1.1) was still in last place at 10. In a curious turn of the numbers, The Listener (3.86m/1.2) numbers were up, after NBC officially canceled it. Finally, the week ground to a halt with Chopping Block (2.28m/.7) on Friday, and Kings (1.57m/.4) on Saturday. Yep, Kings… it’s no Goode Family… Seriously, WTF?

CABLE - There were lots of fun numbers on cable this week. We’ll start with an oldie, since we missed it last week. The return of Eureka (2.6m) was solid. The show actually grew in the demos from the semi-finale last September, so it looks like this whole Friday thing could work out. The network had more good news from the second week of Warehouse 13 (3.4m). It managed to keep a whopping 97% of the premiere audience.

Things are also looking good over at HBO. True Blood (3.9m) hit another high, and that paved the way for a great Entourage (3.4m) premiere. That is more than double the audience for the premiere of the previous season. Hung (3.6m) was up, as well.

The hits keep on coming, as TNT and USA battle for scripted cable supremacy. USA had a stellar Thursday with Burn Notice (6.7m) and Royal Pains (6.2m). That’s a series high for Burn Notice. Staying in the race, TNT looks to have a solid third night of programming, with Leverage (3.9m) and Dark Blue (3.5m). That Leverage premiere number is 24% above the season one average.  Hawthorne (3.2m) remains steady as well.

Cable also got in on the All-Star Game fun. The Home Run Derby (8.25m) on ESPN was the most watched program of the night, broadcast or cable. The celebrity softball game that followed was also on the board, with 3.61m viewers. Elsewhere on cable, Deadliest Catch (3.6m) remains a hit for Discovery, while Miami Social (.65m) doesn’t seem to be one for Bravo. And finally, it was a good week to be in the Harry Potter business.  Despite the fact that all of the movies have aired countless times on various networks, a Sunday telecast of Goblet Of Fire on ABC Family was still good for over 4 million viewers.

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I honestly didn’t think I’d like any of the rich clients besides Libby and Tucker (good to see those crazy kids again, by the way), but New Parts Newberg really grew on me this episode. I find it really difficult to not like a woman who throws a Bark Mitzvah and treats her help like family. Almost as difficult, in fact, as watching Hank operate on the dog was. Rip open human bodies as much as you like, but the second you tell me a dog has a pocket of mucus and I’m covering my face and making horrified noises.

I also am extremely pleased with Divya’s arranged marriage storyline and can’t wait to see how it plays out in the rest of the season. Current theory: Divya’s hubby-to-be, Boris the landlord, and the chick who fell in love with Hank the first episode are all involved in the Sharks-With-Frikken-Laserbeams plot. (Which comes back next week, hooray!) See, model chick was trying to seduce Hank to the dark side, but Hank would not go, which is why Boris made him move into his pool house. Why Boris would need a concierge doctor to take over the world with his sharks with laser beams, I don’t know, but I look forward to learning.

Seriously sharks? With laser beams? In the Hamptons? Who even cares about the main characters when you’ve got that kind of premise?

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Couples should make characters more endearing
But when Evan interrupted you and Hank, I felt like cheering.
And let’s not even discuss your message on Hank’s phone
That’s when your lameness was truly shown.

Since when did you become a cliche from a teen movie?
If you could not be a stereotype, that would be groovy.
Then again, Hank is really boring,
If anyone else was with him, they’d be snoring.

I don’t find your glockenspiel story cute
I thought it was stupid, and dull to boot.
I’m not saying that I want you dead,
Just could you, pretty please, stay away from Hank Med?

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We’ve got your standard 30 Rock/ Office block, but tonight on the menu you also have your choice of the Royal Pains pilot or a Burn Notice marathon! It’s almost like TV is good right now, right? Just squint your eyes and you can see it, I swear.

• USA is airing a Burn Notice marathon all day today. It’s going on now! Turn and watch! Go go go!
• At 8:00, you can relive the episode of Bones in which Booth is suspected of murdering a rival ice hockey player with whom he has previously had a beef.
• NBC is playing The Office and 30 Rock all night, but in the 9:00 hour, there are great episodes of both. The Office is airing “The Duel,” in which Andy finds out about Angela and Dwight, and 30 Rock is airing “St. Valentine’s Day,” with the ever-dreamy Jon Hamm.
• After you’re finished watching Burn Notice, you can catch the pilot of Royal Pains on USA, in case you missed it the first time around.

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After my complaining last week (to which most of your replies were “so stop watching the show“), I was very nervous about this week’s episode, wondering who I could rope into reviewing this for me, et cetera, et cetera.  Thanks for making me worry for nothing, you guys, because this week … was awesome. And that, my friends, is why I keep watching shows, even when sometimes, I don’t like an episode. (That’s right! I’m allowed to not like an episode. It’s shocking, I know, that occasionally that happens.)

Despite totally stealing an episode title from House, (hello, the TB or not TB joke? It’s been made), this week was both delightful and original, sending the series in exactly the direction I’d been hoping it would go.  I guess what bothered me was the whole rich v. poor thing. It’s been done. I get it, rich people can be totally obnoxious (and how) and poor people need and are more deserving of the money. It’s all very Charles Dickens. But it is boring and one-dimension and … really? That’s the best a team of writers can come up with? Medical Robin Hood, the world’s lamest Maid Marian, and a bunch of Merry Men that are both way more interesting and tragically underused? No, thank you.

And then this week. Oh, this week! There were no rich people, but I could have even taken a rich patient or two. What I cared about more was how much better the characters were handled. Divya got to strike out on her own (with some rather bumbling help from Evan), Evan got a non-ridiculous side plot, Boris came into play (I knew he was up to something!), and I didn’t spend the entire time wanting to vomit when Hank and Jill were making googly eyes at each other. In fact, Hank’s starting to become so boring I’m wondering if maybe the totally contrived, all-too-television-perfect romance isn’t, well, livable, even if it is probably the lamest USA has done since their attempts at Shawn and Juliet in Psych, and potentially even lamer. And believe you me, it takes a lot for me to call something lamer than Shawn and Juliet in Psych. Like, a whole hell of a lot.

But maybe … maybe Hank’s really bad fake tan and strangely dehydrated-pink lips should be smooching Jill’s forgetably pretty ones. Maybe they should run off into the blah sunset and have yawnable children while more acoustic, irrelevant music plays, because  I honestly wouldn’t want to waste a good character on either of them at this point. Also, even though I hate them together, I’d like them to have someone better choose their emotional moment music. Here is a hint, television: because Royal Pains is not the only offender in this department — if you are going to have something happen and you want music to underscore it so you make it loud enough to hear the lyrics — please make sure the lyrics make the barest modicum of sense. Like, just as a favor to humanity.

Speaking of House, the Patient of the Week did seem rather derivative, but so long as the patient is around delicious food? I find myself not caring. Honestly, I’m pretty fixated on Boris. It’d been my guess from the get-go that he was involved in something sinister (because, hello, sketchy people named Boris always are), and I am having an excellent time with myself trying to figure out what the shark has to do with anything. Is he running an illegal exotic animal import ring? Does he feed his enemies to the shark? Or maybe he’s Dr. Evil and he is having it outfitted with a laser beam, and then will release them into the Atlantic and have them take over the Hamptons. In fact, I vote we start a petition: one million strong for sharks with laser beams! Who’s with me?

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It’s really starting to look that way, and I find it rather surprising. Did anyone  see it coming? I like Mark Feuerstein and everything, but my best guess was that the show would enjoy modest success and work as a nice companion to the bigger hit, Burn Notice. So far, that’s just not the case. Last week, Burn Notice (5.8m/1.9) was back to usual levels, but Royal Pains (6.5m/2.1) was up, again. Where will it stop? Meanwhile, on the broadcast networks, it was more of the same. Lots of repeats, and much of the original programming left something to be desired where the numbers were concerned.

Cable - None of them were up to Royal Pains level numbers, but there were some other notable premieres higher up the dial last week. On TNT, Saving Grace (3.47m) returned. That was following the premiere of Hawthorne (3.83m). Those numbers are OK, but nothing for the network to get too excited about. Over at A&E (remember when that stood for the Arts & Entertainment network?), the big excitement came in the form of the Hammertime (1.12m) premiere. Well, judging from that number it wasn’t exciting for the viewers, and probably not for the network, but I’m sure Hammer was excited.

Hammer, unfortunately for A&E, isn’t a housewife from New Jersey. With 3.47 million viewers, the Real Housewives managed the  highest rated  broadcast of the series. The big episode also bested all of the broadcast networks in the demo for the timeslot. That is some much needed good news for Bravo. Their response to losing Project Runway, the inferior copy called The Fashion Show, is not doing well. So far, it’s averaging  just under a million viewers an episode. The last Bravo season of Runway was somewhere closer to four million per.

Finally, we’re a little late, but the numbers were released for the True Blood premiere. The 3.7 million viewers were the most the network has seen since the Sopranos finale. That’s good news for fans of vampire stories, and fans of Anna Paquin’s boobs. Moving to the broadcast networks….

CBS - After seeing the results the other networks are getting with all of their original summer programming, the CBS all-repeat-all-the-time plan is just looking better and better. Despite a schedule that consisted of two hours of new programming, Password (6.69m/1) and Harper’s Island (3.79m/.9), CBS still managed to be the most watched network five of the seven nights. And they even won the demo on two nights.

ABC - The week got off to a nice start, thanks to the NBA Finals (10.12m/4.17) easily winning Sunday. The Bachelorette (6.79m/2.4) was down slightly on Monday, but remains solid. There was also good news on Wednesday, with the continued success of Wipeout (7.97m/2.7) and, to a lesser degree, the premiere of I Survived A Japanese Game Show (5.43m/2.1). After that, the original programming left a bit to be desired. Here Come The Newlyweds (4.17m/1.6), Cupid (2.14m/.7), The Unusuals (3.91m/1.3), Surviving Suburbia (2.59m/.6), The Goode Family (1.59m/.5), and Eli Stone (2.5m/.5) were all disappointing.

NBC - The peacock was in a similar boat, just without any of the successes. Someone decided that four nights of I’m A Celebrity seemed like a good idea, and it really wasn’t. Monday (4.94m/1.8), Tuesday (4.65m/1.7), Wednesday (4.16m/1.5), and Thursday (4.98m/1.8) would seem to suggest that remaking a reality show that failed miserably the first time wasn’t such a good idea. The other original programming for the week came in the form of The Listener (3.82m/1), Chopping Block (1.94m/.6), and Kings (1.94m/.5). Yeah… Kings was beaten by the fucking Chopping Block. Good grief.

FOX - Much as the regular season is powered by Idol, the FOX summer rides on the strength of So You Think You Can Dance. The Wednesday (8.38m/3) and Thursday (8.02m/2.9) editions were both strong. I have concerns about how the show is going to perform when moved to the fall schedule, against real competition, but it is certainly a summer hit. The other new entries this week were from Mental (4.74m/1.5) and Don’t Forget The Lyrics (3.63m/1.1).

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I suppose given that I find these all hugely irritating,  I should probably quit watching Royal Pains or at least not discuss this episode since it boils down to “rage rage rage,” but I’ll take a stab at it anyways. Hah. Stab.

Maybe it’s because I grew up in an affluent neighborhood where parents like the mother of the patient of the week are not totally uncommon, but God, she bothered me. Even more so than Tucker’s father was supposed to last episode. Maybe I’m overly literal, but seeing her literally buy an at-home hospital while the dog walker had an infected hand just drove me up the wall. And her blind projected ambition for her children was nauseating and extremely Manchurian Candidate-esque, and I have less than zero patience for parents who favor one child and dismiss the other as being worth less or less worthy of achievement. I spent about ninety percent of those parts of the episode in agony, wanting to take those children into protective custody and sing them folk songs about everyone having worth and being their own special butterfly while feeding them cookies. And while normally I find Evan’s side-plots adorable, his wining and dining of New Parts Newberg and her snobby granddaughter just fell flat for me. And don’t even get me started on Jill. My feelings regarding her are well documented.

The one bright spot in this week’s frankly disappointing episode was Divya. Oh, sweet Divya. My smart, snarky, darling little lotus blossom. I love the way you handle Evan, I love that you want more to your life than polo matches, and I am shallowly in love with your pretty hair. Most importantly, I love you. Please continue to exist as a shining example of what rich and priveleged characters should be instead of Gossip Girl clichés, and bring along Tucker if you’d like as your protogé. I will be watching your ascent into glory.

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• Jill I am

That didn’t take long. When Conan debuted on the Tonight Show, his premiere soundly defeated Letterman. Of course, as expected, the curiosity of the premiere wore off immediately, and the numbers began to drop. Things really got interesting last week as we started seeing the first signs that the late night war is back on. In week 2 for Conan, Letterman actually managed to win a couple nights in the overnight household ratings. NBC is quick to point out that Conan is still tops in the younger demos.

While that is true, it’s worth noting that the last time Letterman managed to top Leno in the overnights was some eight months ago. Considering that the late night shows operate on scales of years, it’s way too early to declare a winner. However, it all does serve to make the late night ratings race, one which Leno had pretty much owned for years, very interesting again. Elsewhere this week, more good news for cable, from The Closer, Burn Notice, and Royal Pains. Back on the networks, The Bachelorette and I’m A Celebrity squared off again, the dancing kids were winners for FOX, and even without Lebron, the NBA was very good to ABC.

Cable - Things are far more interesting further up the dial right now, so let’s start there. I put forward the idea of a Closer/Burn Notice showdown earlier, and we finally have a few early numbers to look at. In week 2, Burn Notice (5.24m) was down just a bit, which is normal. That was no match for the premiere of  The Closer (7.1m). It will be fun to see what happens with those two as the season moves along. Also interesting is the two shows following them. In a complete surprise, Royal Pains (5.57m) not only held on to all of its premier audience, it had more viewers than Burn Notice. Things didn’t go quite that well for Raising The Bar (3.6m) following The Closer. That’s down over 50% from the last season premiere.

Elsewhere on cable, records were on the menu. Bravo premiered Top Chef Masters (1.37m), and that was the highest rated Wednesday at 10 premiere the network has ever had. Similarly, The Food Network kicked off the new season of Next Food Network Star (2.2m), and that was the most watched season premiere in network history. Good news was also in the cards for Showtime, with Weeds (1.2m) and Nurse Jackie (1m). That was enough to get Nurse Jackie a renewal already.

ABC - The NBA was good to the network last week. Three games easily won their nights, with the highlight being Thursday’s (16m/6.4) huge showing. That’s as good as firing off another new episode of Grey’s Anatomy. The news was also good for The Bachelorette (7.16m/2.5). Not only did it surpass the reality competition of I’m A Celebrity, but those numbers are up from the previous week. If the show could get on a role like The Bachelor did, it could be a very nice summer for ABC Mondays. Wipeout (8.42m/2.9) was solid as well. In less happy news, The Unusuals (4.66m/1.4) continues to limp to the finish line. And relocations for Surviving Suburbia (2.87m/.6), The Goode Family (1.82m/.5), and Pushing Daisies (2.33m/.7) were largely ignored.

NBC - Like ABC, NBCs highlight for the week also came from sports. Unfortunately, that sport is hockey. And, for whatever reason, the American TV audience just really isn’t that interested. It took a show-stopper of a game seven for the NHL (7.51m/3) to make even a little noise. Game six (5.21m/2) didn’t do nearly as well. Other than that, there wasn’t a lot of good news. I’m A Celebrity took over the schedule on Monday (5.21m/2), Wednesday (4.71m/1.8), and Thursday (5.08m/1.8). The Listener (4.39m/1.3) didn’t offer any help. And Kings (1.59m/.3) was downright dreadful in its Saturday premiere. For some perspective, the CBS repeat of 2 1/2 Men beat everything on the network except game seven of the Stanley Cup. Going the other way, that Kings Demo is so low, that the only show with a lower demo, on all the networks, was a repeat of Jericho on CW. Yikes.

FOX - So You Think You Can Dance was the big winner for the week, bringing good numbers to Wednesday (8.7m/3.3) and Thursday (8.68m/3.2). Elsewhere, Mental (4.83m/1.4) continued to struggle and Don’t Forget The Lyrics (3.81m/1.2) remained steady on Friday.

CBS - A week of repeats was bookended by the rather uneventful combination of the Tony Awards (7.45m/1.3) on Sunday and Harper’s Island on Saturday. Otherwise, it was another relatively successful week of repeats.

CW - The only new programming to report came in the form of Hitched or Ditched (1.51m/.6). Yes, the demo for Hitched or Ditched is twice that for Kings. How could that show, with that cast, go so horribly wrong in the ratings? I have no idea, and I find it rather disappointing. But it does certainly keep the numbers interesting.

Related posts

• Ratings Clack – Is Royal Pains the big hit of the summer?
• Ratings Clack – Burn Notice and Royal Pains off to a good start
• Ratings Clack – The real power of CBS crimetime

I don’t know about you, but for me, when it’s time for summer TV,  I need a bit of a break from the heavy fare of regular network programming. Emotional intrigue and deliciously complex plots are all well and good when it’s really cold and your brain needs to keep working in order to not freeze, kind of like a car motor, but by the time it’s summer and my synapses are in danger of overheating, I need something with bright, pretty colors that is refreshing and breezy and easy on my vacationing noggin.

Usually Psych does an exceedingly admirable job, but cruelly, USA is withholding that particular tidbit of pineapple-flavored television ridiculousness. And while I feel it is my sovereign duty to dislike Royal Pains on account of it being what USA is trying to distract me with, I’ve kind of been excited about it ever since I saw the ad. It has that dude from Good Morning Miami! It’s a fun premise! There are bright, pretty colors! I’m shallow and easily distracted!

And I must say, while Royal Pains is certainly no Psych (because Burton Guster holds a place in my heart that is irreplaceable), especially after this last episode, it’s growing on me, like a fungus of delicious medical dramedy.

I love the characters. I love Hank, with all of his medical do-gooder earnestness, yet is still a buttinski and a slob, which makes him even more lovably 3-D. I unreasonably adore Divya, for all that she had maybe ten lines last episode. And the more time we see Tucker, the hemophiliac poor-little-rich-boy Hank helped in the first episode and his neurotic girlfriend, Libby, the more adorable they seem to me.

If anything, though, the last episode really cemented to me how much I adore Hank’s hapless brother Evan. This week’s plot revolves around a mysteriously ill retiring ballerina he has a massive crush on and his attempts to woo her through food, which keep ending in medical catastrophes. What’s actually ailing her (some sort of rare heart disease, I think? I don’t know, I’m not the doctor here) is sort of besides the point.  The point is that I sort of felt like the hour I was watching a show about a really sweet, nerdy guy who, incidentally, had a brother who was a doctor, or something. And you know what? I’m pretty chill with signing on to watch that show, too.

I’d say the one weakness that this show really can’t seem to shake is this Jill character. I know she’s supposed to be Hank’s true love or something, but she’s just so bland. She flat and boring and trying too hard to be perfect and cardboard and every time she’s on-screen, I die a little. According to the series website (which I perused on a quest for a promo picture), she has a “mysterious past.” A what? Really now? Don’t tell me, because I can see how this works already; her and Hank’s romance will blossom like a rare, magical flower, only to be nipped in the bud (this flower metaphor is getting confusing, but it’s a blooming bud, okay?) by her past magically and at the perfectly inconvenient time rearing its ugly head. The pain! The horror! It’s her not-quite-ex husband who still loves her/abusive father/former drug dealer and/or bookie! Will her and Hank’s starry-eyed love affair survive this devastating blow?

(God, I hope not.)

If Royal Pains can manage to ditch Jill (who, incidentally, is a royal pain) and spend less time on how she and Hank are so destined to be because of their calling towards the less fortunate or whatever it is they’re trying to hit me over the head with, we’ve got a real possible winner on our hands, here. If not, well, I’ll probably still watch it, because I’ll watch celebrities eat their own feces during the summer, and this is about ten steps above that, quality-wise.

What, you expected me to have standards?

Related posts

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Yes, the boys over at USA earned the headline this week. There just really wasn’t that much to talk about where the networks were concerned. For example, CBS was the most watched network on three different nights, with a combination of repeats and one episode of Million Dollar Password.  It was much more interesting seeing the press release from USA that revealed Burn Notice had 6 million viewers for the season premiere. Royal Pains was right on pace with 5.6 million. It will be interesting to see if Royal Pains can stay that close as the weeks progress. After the jump, it’s the NBA vs the NHL, So You Think You Can Dance vs Wipeout, and I’m A Celebrity vs the basic common sense of viewers.

NBC - All things considered (like being a network that is mired in 4th place) it wasn’t a bad week for NBC. The network actually took the demo crown for the first three nights of the week. Although, if you want to put that in perspective, it doesn’t look quite as good. On Sunday, the NHL (5.3m/2.2) squeaked out a win against Password, and nothing else. And Monday was led by I’m A Celebrity (6.35m/2.6), but the shine is quickly coming off of that ridiculous bauble. Tuesday (5.5m/2.2), Wednesday (4.79m/1.8), and Thursday (5.17m/1.9) suggest a certain trend in the numbers.

In less annoying programming news, the NBC finale of Medium (7.38m/2.3), season finale of SVU (11.34m/3.5), and season finale of L&O (8.79m/2.3) were all at expected levels, despite the late date. The network also got good mileage out of the NBC special, “Inside the Obama White House” on Tuesday (9.12m/2.6) and Wednesday (8.97m/2.3).

CBS - There really isn’t a lot to say about the network this week. A week that was almost exclusively repeats performed well enough. The few bits of new were Password (6.88m/1.1), the last episode of Worst Week (1.91m/.5) and Harper’s Island (3.61m/.9). The new Worst Week on Saturday does seem odd. Surely, that would have done a much higher number after Monday’s 2 1/2 Men repeat.

ABC - The Bachelorette (6.34m/2.2) led off the week for the network, and was bested by I’m A Celebrity, but I would expect that result to change sooner, rather than later. Elsewhere, there was good news for Wipeout (8.37m/2.9) and the NBA Finals (10.47m/4.4). After that, it was all a bit rough. According To Jim (4.1m/1.2) finally had a series finale. And as bad as that was, it was still rated higher than The Goode Family (3.17m/1.2 – 2.16m/.9), The Unusuals (2.94m/.9), and Pushing Daisies (2.29m/.8).

FOX - A week full of repeats was broken up by So You Think You Can Dance getting down to their top 20. That was enough to win the night in viewers and demo on Wednesday (8.76m/3.4) and also return a respectable number against the NBA on Thursday (8.2m/3.1). The news was not as good for Mental (5.04m/1.6) or Friday’s Don’t Forget The Lyrics (3.08m/1).

Related posts

• Ratings Clack – Rekindling the late night wars
• Ratings Clack – The real power of CBS crimetime
• Ratings Clack – Is Royal Pains the big hit of the summer?

The USA network has some fine television programming; we’ve got Psych, Monk and Burn Notice, just to name a few. So, when news comes of a newcomer to the network, I’m very interested. One of these new shows is Royal Pains, and while it’s the type of show that feels right at home on a cable network like USA, so far it’s just not my cup of tea.

A quick premise for you, to get you started. Royal Pains follows New York City doctor Hank Lawson (Mark Feuerstein) who basically loses everything — the job, the house, the girl — after making an emergency room “mistake” in which he decides to save the life of a complete stranger versus that of a less deserving elderly billion-dollar hospital trustee. At the insistence of his brother Evan (Paulo Costanzo), he takes a trip to the Hamptons, where he sort of stumbles into becoming a self-employed concierge doctor.

What is a concierge doctor? Think of them as on-call doctors for the wealthy, ones they can call to their lavish mansions to help take care of “health issues” going on in their homes that they’d rather not be made public by dialing 911. And they are very willing to spend A LOT to have one of these doctors at their disposal.

If Feuerstein looks familiar, you may remember him from the ill-fated 3 lbs. not so long ago, or from the older Good Morning, Miami. He definitely has one of those “where have I seen him before” faces.

Toward the end of the pilot episode, which is the only one I saw, we’re introduced to Divya (Reshma Shetty), who, along with Hank’s brother, encourages him to take the doctor-for-the-rich gig. It’s her character that seems to save the show from being dull or just downright annoying.

“Annoying,” I say? Yes. This is because I cannot find one likable trait in the Evan Lawson character, and we see just too much of him. He’s annoying, unfunny and seems to lend little support to his brother, unless it’s directly benefiting himself. I find that the inclusion of Evan as a regular character was a big stretch, because it made no sense why Hank would allow him to leech from him other than due to blood-related obligation. The writers threw in the fact that Evan is an accountant, so we’re left to believe that a one-man concierge doctor needs not only a full-time assistant, but a full-time accountant to boot.

Unfortunately, I don’t see things improving with the Evan character. He’s just going to get more annoying as the seasons progress, as we’re left to resort to his purpose being comic relief, which so far just isn’t working as funny.

And … here I go now, sounding like a broken record: it’s difficult to judge this show on one episode, especially the pilot. I’d need to give it another chance before I give it a full-on snub or allow it to rope me in. The pilot is all set-up for the series, so I have no idea what a weekly episode will be like yet. Give it a try at 10 PM tonight on USA and let me know what you think.

In the meantime, we’ve got a giveaway related to this show. Leave a comment below telling us if you’ll be watching (or let us know what you thought!). One winner will receive the following items:

• Royal Pains First Aid Kit
• Royal Pains Playing Cards
• Hamptons Dictionary
• Royal Pains Notepad

Thrilling! Leave your comment by this Friday, June 5 at 5PM ET. One random commenter will be chosen. Only one entry per person and you must have a U.S.-based mailing address. Those not following the above rules will be disqualified.

And now, some obligatory pre-text from the network:

USA will launch the 75-minute limited commercial premiere of Royal Pains, the network’s newest original scripted series, on Thursday, June 4 at 10/9c immediately following the Season 3 premiere of Burn Notice at its new timeslot 9/8c.

Royal Pains stars Mark Feuerstein  as  Hank Lawson, a young E.R. doctor who, after being wrongly blamed for a patient’s death, moves to the Hamptons and becomes the reluctant “doctor for hire” to the rich and famous. When the attractive administrator of the local hospital asks him to treat the town’s less fortunate, he finds himself walking the line between doing well for himself and doing good for others.  The series also stars Paulo Costanzo, Jill Flint and Reshma Shetty.

Visit the official site at www.royalpains.usanetwork.com, follow Royal Pains on Twitter and be a fan on Facebook.

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HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK

• It hasn’t even debuted yet and I’m already annoyed with NBC’s I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here. I say get them all out of there, and off my screen before the two-hour premiere. (Mon. 8pm)
• But if you can’t get enough of Heidi Montag and Spender Pratt, you can flip over to MTV and see “Speidi’s Wedding Unveiled” in a special presentation of The Hills. (Mon. 11pm)
• Scare tactics are alive and well on ABC’s Earth 2100, which takes a speculative look at how we might just wipe ourselves out in the next 100 years. It WILL happen. Bob Woodruff says so. (Tue. 9pm)
• The following night NBC takes us into the Presidency with Inside the Obama White House: Brian Williams Reports. I wonder if he’ll ask how we’re going to avert oblivion in the next century. (Wed. 9pm)
• Just in time for Land of the Lost, find out how Will Ferrell would really fare in the wild as he takes it on with Bear Grylls in a special Man vs. Wild on Discovery (Tue. 10pm)
• The NBA Finals kick off with a Jimmy Kimmel special on ABC before the Orlando Magic take on the Los Angeles Lakers. (Thu. 8pm)
• It’s The Tony Awards in HD for the first time on CBS, and it’s hosted by NPH himself, Neil Patrick Harris! (Sun. 8pm)
• Worst Week is back to burn off its remaining episodes on CBS (Sat. 8:30pm)

PREMIERES & FINALES

• Saying goodbye to NBC, Medium has Patricia Arquette facing a vision of losing her entire family in the season finale; she’ll be on CBS Fridays next year. (Mon. 10pm)
• NBC is replacing a medium with a telepath as The Listener features Craig Olejnik saving lives with his own gift. (Thu. 9pm)
• You can also look for the 75-minute bow of Royal Pains, a comedy about a young doctor who takes a gig being a “concierge doctor” making house calls to the rich in the Hamptons. (Thu. 10pm, USA)
• Comedian Daniel Tosh is given a shot on Comedy Central with Tosh.0 examining the Internets on a weekly basis. (Thu. 10pm)
• Other premieres include USA’s Burn Notice (Thu. 9pm), Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels on A&E (Sun. 9pm), Lifetime’s Army Wives (Sun. 10pm), The Next Food Network Star (Sun. 9pm), Animal Planet’s Whale Wars (Fri. 9pm),
• Saying goodbye for … well … good is According to Jim after eight long, long years on ABC. (Tue. 8:30pm)
• Heading into its twentieth season, it’s the nineteenth season finale of the granddaddy of the whole franchise, Law & Order on NBC. (Wed. 10pm)
• Also bowing out for the year are Tyler Perry’s House of Payne (Wed. 9:30pm, TBS), The Whitest Kids U’Know (Tue, 10:15pm, IFC), The Cougar (Wed. 10pm, TV Land) and Nanny 911 on CMT (Sat. 8pm)

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It’s summertime, summertime, sum-, sum-, summertime! The weather is getting warmer, the pants are getting shorter, and the beaches invite us to bask on their warm sands. Oh, and it’s also the end of the 2008-09 season and the beginning of summer replacements.

Now, now, calm down! It’s not all doom and gloom. Well, okay, it’s pretty gloomy over in legacy network land. In the land of cable it’s another story. The summer is the time to shine for networks like TNT, FX, and USA. And, as the years roll along, more and more quality programs and stars are making their way to cable for viewers to absorb during those hot, humid nights. Eventually, Jay Leno will have to cover all three primetime hours on NBC.

Since the folks here at CliqueClack want you to be fully aware of the good and bad coming to your flat screen over the next few weeks (for selfish reasons, of course – in order for you to read and comment on our posts), we’re providing an updated version of the summer schedule we released back in April. As usual, dates and times can change. So, be flexible. I mean, it’s summer after all.

Series Premieres/Returns – May

Monday, May 25th

8:00 - Jon & Kate Plus 8 (TLC): I’m sure this will garner huge ratings. After that…

9:00 - Intervention (A&E)

10:00 - Here Come the Newlyweds (ABC) – Yeah, I didn’t realize this was on last season either.

10:00 - Cake Boss (TLC)

Tuesday, May 26th

9:00 - The Apprentice (UK): You’re sacked!

9:00 – Hitched or Ditched (CW): Couples have one week to go from dating to engaged.

10:00 - Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood (Oxygen)

10:00 - The Little Couple (TLC): Sequel to Little People Just Married.

Wednesday, May 27th

8:00 – Wipeout (ABC): Oh, those giant balls!

9:00 – The Goode Family (ABC): The newest animated series by Mike Judge.

9:30 – Dog the Bounty Hunter (A&E)

9:30 - Surviving Suburbia (ABC): But, apparently, not surviving the season.

Friday, May 29th

9:00 – What Not to Wear (TLC): Featuring the makeover of former Blossom gal Mayim Bialik.

Saturday, May 30th

10:00 - Pushing Daisies(ABC): Ending on June 13th

Sunday, May 31st

8:00 - Million Dollar Password (CBS): Reege returns!

9:00 - Ice Road Truckers (History)

Series Premieres/Returns – June

Monday, June 1st

8:00 - I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!(NBC): I’m reading this is a “new” series for NBC, but I could swear this was on ABC for awhile in the early 2000s. Anyhoo, they’re going to slot this in four days a week in June. Good luck with that.

Tuesday, June 2nd

10:00 - Paris Hilton My New BFF (MTV): Eh, I’m too tired to make a joke about this.

Thursday, June 4th

9:00 - Burn Notice (USA): New time

10:00 – The Listener(NBC): A paramedic who’s telepathic. Comes to us from our friends to the north (that would be Canada, folks).

10:00 – Royal Pains (USA): For all of the promotion they’ve done for this show, it damn well better be good!

Friday, June 5th

10:00 - Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

Sunday, June 7th

9:00 - Gene Simmons Family Jewels (A&E): Why?

9:00 – The Next Food Network Star (Food Network)

10:00 - Army Wives (Lifetime)

10:30 – Denise Richards: It’s Complicated (E!): No, it’s actually boring.

Monday, June 8th

9:00 - The Closer (TNT)

10:00 - Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (Bravo)

10:00 – Weeds (Showtime)

10:00 - Raising the Bar (TNT):

10:30 – Nurse Jackie (Showtime): Edie Falco returns to series TV.

Wednesday, June 10th

10:00 – Top Chef Masters (Bravo): This time the competition is against “world renowned” chefs rather than, you know, the guy down the block.

Thursday, June 11th

9:00 She’s Got the Look (TV Land): Remember when TV Land was still watchable?

Sunday, June 14th

9:00 - True Blood (HBO)

10:00 - Hammertime (A&E): Because you always wanted to know what happened to M.C. Hammer.

Monday, June 15th

9:00 - The Cleaner (A&E)

Tuesday, June 16h

8:00 – Wedding Day (TNT): Reality series where deserving couples receive dream weddings.

9:00 – The First 48 (A&E)

9:00 - Hawthorne(TNT): New medical series starring Jada Pinkett Smith.

10:00 - The Singing Bee (CMT): Now with more Country!

10:00 - Saving Grace (TNT)

Wednesday, June 17th

9:00 - Gordon Ramsay’s F Word (BBC America)

Saturday, June 20th

10:00 - Eli Stone (ABC): Everyone now — Yea! Ends on July 11th, I believe.

Sunday, June 21st

8:00 – Merlin (NBC)

Monday, June 22nd

8:00 - The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family)

9:00 - Make It or Break It (ABC Family): Not a reality show. It’s a scripted show featuring Candice Cameron and Peri Gilpin.

Tuesday, June 23rd

8:00 – The Superstars (ABC): Sort of like Battle of the Network Stars except the celebrities are paired off with professional athletes.

9:00 - America’s Got Talent (NBC): Get ready for five months of over-excited audiences and The Hoff.

10:00 - Primetime (ABC)

Wednesday, June 24th

10:00 - The Real World (MTV)

10:00 - The Philanthropist (NBC)

Thursday, June 25th

10:00 - Penn & Teller: Bullshit (Showtime)

Sunday, June 28th

10:00 - Hung (HBO): Yes, apparently your mind should be in the gutter about this show.

Series Premieres/Returns – July

Wednesday, July 1st

8:00 - Great American Road Trip (NBC)

Friday, July 3rd

8:00 - Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (FOX)

Tuesday, July 7th

8:00 - 10 Things I Hate About you (ABC Family)

9:00 - Blonde Charity Mafia (CW): A docu-series (?) about Washington D.C.’s young, female elite.

10:00 – Warehouse 13 (SciFi): Though, it may be SyFy by then.

Wednesday, July 8th

9:00 - I Survived a Japanese Game Show (ABC)

9:00 - Ghost Hunters International (SciFi or SyFy)

Friday, July 10th

9:00 - Eureka (SciFi): Or SyFy … not too sure yet.

Sunday, July 12th

10:30 – Entourage (HBO)

Wednesday, July 15th

9:00 - Leverage (TNT)

10:00 - Dark Blue (TNT): Dylan McDermott takes a stab at original cable fare.

Saturday, July 18th

10:00 - Dirty Sexy Money (ABC): Ends August 8th

Sunday, July 19th

10:00 - HGTV Design Star (HGTV)

Monday, July 20th

10:00 - Dating in the Dark (ABC): The big budget version of a blind date.

Tuesday, July 21st

8:00 – Hell’s Kitchen (FOX): More verbal abuse by Gordon Ramsay.

8:30 – Ruby & The Rockits(ABC Family): It’s the return of David Cassidy to television! Eeeeeeee!

Saturday, July 25th

9:00 - Being Human (BBC America): A werewolf, a vampire and a ghost buy a house. No, it’s not a reality series!

Tuesday, July 28th

9:00 - More to Love (FOX): a reality-dating program for all of us fat bastards out there.

Wednesday, July 29th

9:00 - The Moment of Truth (FOX): More lives ruined for money.

Series Premieres/Returns – August

Tuesday, August 4th

9:00 - Lincoln Heights (ABC Family)

Friday, August 7th

9:00 – Monk (USA)

10:00 – Psych (USA)

Sunday, August 9th

8:00 - Who Wants to be a Millionaire? (ABC): The Reege version. Does this man ever sleep?

Wednesday, August 19th

9:00 - Ghost Hunters (SciFi or SyFy)

Thursday, August 20th

10:00 - Project Runway (Lifetime): First year away from Bravo.

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• Ratings Clack – Is Royal Pains the big hit of the summer?
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