I think by now we’ve established the fact that USA Network knows how to cook a mean character. Each and every original series that the network’s produced is a hit on one scale or another — including Monk, which I otherwise can’t speak to because I don’t watch it.

Within the last week, I’ve enjoyed two episodes of Psych from last season (finally caught up!), as well as the pilot of White Collar (twice), the new and extremely exciting series that premiered last weekend. And the latter included commercials for the upcoming season of Burn Notice. All of which actually got me thinking that, if not for the atypical situation of my being behind on one series, and a new one premiering, I might be spending long stretches of time with no USA Network whatsoever.

Now I’ll grant you that that’s not so strange, considering that the major networks take summers off (well, used to … and still should, judging by their offerings), and that USA offers only a handful of original programming. But what about the fact that I want what I want? Read the rest of this entry »

Highlights of the Week

• There was a time when I was a huge fan of the WWF/E. It was Andre the Giant and George “The Animal” Steele back then, though I kept up through the early days of Steve Austin and the Undertaker. I still keep some awareness of the soap opera there. And considering I watched the first several, it makes me feel old that we’re celebrating The 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania. (Sat. 9pm, NBC)
• It’s always sad when the boys say goodbye to another season of Penn & Teller: Bullshit! It’s the best combination of entertainment and information that you’ll see. And I’m sure there’ll be absolutely nothing controversial about the magicians tackling the Vatican in this finale. (Thu. 10pm, Showtime)
• I’m glad to see that Royal Pains will be back, as it turned into a great summer getaway to the Hamptons. Sadly, it’s back to the real world for the rest of us as it wraps its first season. (Thu. 10pm, USA)
• Some of the best television of the summer has been coming to us from the UK. This week wraps the too short first season of Being Human; the story of a ghost, vampire and werewolf trying to live like normal people. (Sat. 9pm, BBC America)
• The movies brought the show back. Futurama: Into the Wild GreenYonder is the last of those movies, making it’s debut on Comedy Central. Sit back, enjoy and think about the beautiful Futurama to come. (Sun. 9pm)

Read the rest of this entry »

The repetitive nature of the summer ratings have me so looking forward to the return of full schedules in the fall. Remember what that’s like? When CBS runs more than Big Brother, and The CW offers more than one burn-off episode of Easy Money. It was another week very much like so many of the previous weeks. Each of the big four networks has its summer reality tent-pole, and not a lot more. Meanwhile, over on cable, more good news for True Blood, Warehouse 13, and the Real Housewives. Read the rest of this entry »

Okay, I did edit the original “Talkin’ Baseball’ lyrics just a bit for the title, for context. While the All-Star game was the big deal in ratings this week, there was some great news over on cable for Michael and the gang. And really, most of the exciting stuff, where ratings are concerned anyway, was on cable this week. Warehouse 13 had a strong second outing, TNT had premieres for Leverage and Dark Blue, and HBO dusted off Entourage for another go. There was even a Potter sighting. With the networks, it was baseball, and a lot more of the same. Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s the thing about Royal Pains: it really shouldn’t be that great a show. The premise, as my best friend likes to remind me, is inherently flawed. Hank is drippy, holier-than-thou, and, well, my feelings on Jill are well-documented. And yet I still sort of love it, because I just find the secondary characters so gosh-darn lovable.

I honestly didn’t think I’d like any of the rich clients besides Libby and Tucker (good to see those crazy kids again, by the way), but New Parts Newberg really grew on me this episode. I find it really difficult to not like a woman who throws a Bark Mitzvah and treats her help like family. Almost as difficult, in fact, as watching Hank operate on the dog was. Rip open human bodies as much as you like, but the second you tell me a dog has a pocket of mucus and I’m covering my face and making horrified noises.

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I do not like you, Dr. Jill
In fact, I think you are a pill.
You are so boring and so bland
If you shut up that would be grand.

Couples should make characters more endearing
But when Evan interrupted you and Hank, I felt like cheering.
And let’s not even discuss your message on Hank’s phone
That’s when your lameness was truly shown.

Since when did you become a cliche from a teen movie?
If you could not be a stereotype, that would be groovy.
Then again, Hank is really boring,
If anyone else was with him, they’d be snoring.

I don’t find your glockenspiel story cute
I thought it was stupid, and dull to boot.
I’m not saying that I want you dead,
Just could you, pretty please, stay away from Hank Med?

We’ve got your standard 30 Rock/ Office block, but tonight on the menu you also have your choice of the Royal Pains pilot or a Burn Notice marathon! It’s almost like TV is good right now, right? Just squint your eyes and you can see it, I swear.

• USA is airing a Burn Notice marathon all day today. It’s going on now! Turn and watch! Go go go!
• At 8:00, you can relive the episode of Bones in which Booth is suspected of murdering a rival ice hockey player with whom he has previously had a beef.
• NBC is playing The Office and 30 Rock all night, but in the 9:00 hour, there are great episodes of both. The Office is airing “The Duel,” in which Andy finds out about Angela and Dwight, and 30 Rock is airing “St. Valentine’s Day,” with the ever-dreamy Jon Hamm.
• After you’re finished watching Burn Notice, you can catch the pilot of Royal Pains on USA, in case you missed it the first time around.