Just as programs on the Big Four and a Half networks are taking a break for the holiday, the same thing is happening on cable. Unfortunately, some of these shows have been on break since the late summer-early fall. While we’ve been missing them to death, the good news is that many, including Leverage, Psych, White Collar, Damages, and Burn Notice, are about to return to complete their seasons.

Therefore, as we did with the networks, and with the help of the fine men and women of CliqueClack, here is the mid-season report card for cable programs. Be warned, there will be entries for shows that just ended their season or are about to end. Just ignore the technicalities of it all… you’ll sleep better at night.

Greek (ABC Family)

Aryeh S. – Not back to where it was when it started, but leaps and bounds ahead of the prior outing in the spring. I wonder where this is going when the senior class graduates: B

Make It or Break It (ABC Family)

Aryeh — surprisingly enjoyable show… I hate Lauren, but the rest of the cast is great and left me invested: B+

Mad Men (AMC)

Bob Degon – The third season kept up the amazing quality of the best of show on television. The season finale was one of the greatest hours of television, from start to finish, that I have ever seen: A+

The Prisoner (AMC)

Keith McDuffee — I’d give it lower than a ‘C’ if it wasn’t for the production quality. Otherwise it was a huge disappointment. It’s OK for a show to make no sense, but it should at least lead to a LOT of post-series discussion
and analysis. I’m pretty sure all we heard were crickets when this series ended: C

Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO)

Keith – The Seinfeld stuff gave it better than a C or B-. Otherwise this show is getting tired and needs to end or… I dunno, but it’s just the same shit every week: B

Californication (Showtime)

Aryeh — Three stumbles, but wow! The finale was awesome: A

Dexter (Showtime)

Deb McDuffee– It doesn’t quite make an A+ like it would have in the first few seasons, but I still love Dexter and I love the John Lithgow arc. Not so sure about Dexter the family man: A-

Sanctuary (SyFy)

Brett Love – Getting rid of Ashley (Emilie Ullerup) might have been the worst decision any show made in the first half of the season. Worse, that stupidity was then compounded with pointless episodes. Magnus and Will in a pool for an hour? As the good Amy Pohler (the one from SNL, not P&R) would say, “Really, Sanctuary? Really?”: C-

Ruby T– I find it entertaining, but too safe. It tends to fall short of my expectations. Ashley Magnus was replaced with a weak character, Kate Freelander. While I didn’t like Ashley as one of the heroes, I think she could have been interesting if they’d allowed her to develop as a villain: B-

Stargate Universe (SyFy)

Brett– It’s keeping my interest, and the showdown between Rush and Young was a good way to end the first half of the retarded Syfy split season. It just hasn’t grabbed me like SG1 and Atlantis yet. It still feels like the show is trying to figure out what it is. They have done a pretty poor job fleshing out all of the characters. At this point, I can’t say I’m actually attached to any of them: B-

Jane Boursaw – I like it well enough. Didn’t have any experience with the other Stargates, and it’s sucked me in enough to want to keep watching and find out what happens to Rush: B

Ivey – Count me in the “Newbie that likes it camp.” I’m proud of being a SG noob, though. I’ve thought very little of the first two series, but I’ve been impresses so far. Perfect? No, but the best scifi show on these days: B+

Ruby T. – I don’t like most of the characters, and as a result I don’t care if they live or die. I feel like SGU is trying way too hard to be dark and edgy (fail!). One of the defining characteristics of Stargate has always been humor, which this show really lacks. I’ve seen some good moments, which is why I’d give it a passing grade. I’m going to continue watching to see if it improves: C

Dark Blue (TNT)

Aryeh — Great show, great renewal decision. Just hoping Jaimie and Dean do NOT get together: A-

Leverage (TNT)

Aryeh – Season 2 was far from season 1’s quality. Or maybe the luster had just worn off: B-

Bob – Certainly not up to the quality of the first season. There have been some awesome episodes and some that were just okay. Hopefully the addition of Jeri Ryan, even if it’s only for a few episodes, will inject some life into this fun series: B-

Deb – I still love it, but it doesn’t wow me quite as much as the first season. I miss the flashbacks and I think there are less quotable lines. Still such a fun hour of TV though: B+

Burn Notice (USA)

Aryeh – I’m not sure I even fully remember last season, but Burn Notice has always been consistently good: B+

Deb – Love it! It’s got everything — action, romance, awesome cons, quirky characters, and an intriguing back story: A-

Psych (USA)

Aryeh – This has never been as good for me as it was in its first season, but Shawn and Gus are always lots of fun: B

Deb – FUN!  I think this season has even stepped it up a bit by going deeper into Shawn’s life and his relationship with his dad, and also putting him in more real danger than he’s ever been in before: A-

Keith — Just consistently good fun. The episodes seriously get better every week: A

White Collar (USA)

Aryeh– The minus is for how it ended the installment. Otherwise, no complaints beyond the cast shuffling (bring back Marsha Thomason!): A-

Bob – Another fun, if unspectacular USA show. It’s a fun watch, but I think it would be better off airing in the off-season. I give them some bonus points for bringing the awesome Natalie Morales onto the show: B

Deb – I’m really enjoying this show. I love the chemistry between main characters and this show’s got it. Plus, I love the banter: A-

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It was another very holiday week on television, with schedules full of repeats and seasonal specials. CBS was the only network that really tried, and it paid big dividends. With all new programming on Monday through Thursday the network won all 12 hours in viewers, and 11 of them in the demo. Of course, just showing new programming didn’t guarantee anything. Scrubs and Better Off Ted both continued to struggle, despite the weakened competition. On cable, the Dexter finale set a record for Showtime.

CBS - The week started slowly, with Cold Case (10.3m/2.1) the only new entry on Sunday. Things picked up Monday as How I Met Your Mother (9.65m/3.7), Accidentally On Purpose (8.82m/3.2), 2 ½ Men (16.37m/5.2), Big Bang Theory (15.58m/5.6), and CSI: Miami (14.18m/4.1) all easily won their time periods. It was more of the same on Tuesday, with NCIS (20.69m/4.3), NCIS:LA (17.5m/3.6), and The Good Wife (14.17m/2.8) all did the same.

The run stopped for an hour on Wednesday, as Old Christine (7.64m/2.3) and Gary Unmarried (7.76m/2.5) were topped in the demo by So You Think You Can Dance. But Criminal Minds (14.68m/3.8) and CSI: NY (13.55m/3.1) got the ball rolling again. With ABC and FOX in repeats on Thursday, Survivor (12.46m/3.9), CSI (15.58m/3.5), and The Mentalist (15.8m/3.5) were all able to win their hours as well. Frosty (7m/2.1 – 6.51m/1.9) even got in on the game on Friday, winning the 8PM hour in both measures.

NBC - Could last week have been a peek at the future of NBC? The network managed to go an entire week with only one hour of scripted television. Sunday Night Football (20.88m/7.8) kicked things off with the usual win for the night. Then Monday (6.89m/2.3), Tuesday 6.86m/2.6), and Wednesday (6.51m/2.1) brought six hours of The Sing-Off, which actually did fairly well. Given the state of the NBC schedule, it was actually an upgrade. Monday’s numbers were better in viewers and demo than the Heroes finale. Tuesday doesn’t measure up to Biggest Loser, but was a reasonable replacement. And Wednesday did manage to top the demo that Mercy has been turning in.

The scriptless shenanigans continued Thursday as the comedy block was replaced by SNL: A Gilly Christmas (7.79m/3.1). As you might guess, that was a huge upgrade over the normal performance of Community and Parks & Rec. The lone scripted hour of the week was a repeat Law & Order on Friday night. Jay Leno had what has become a fairly typical week, averaging 5.2 million viewers and 1.6 in the demo. It is worth noting that the show also beat repeats from Castle, The Forgotten, Private Practice and Numb3rs.

ABC – Extreme Makeover (10.34m/3.1) was expanded an hour to fill in for the missing housewives on Sunday. That was followed by Christmas At The Whitehouse (11.95m/2.9). The holiday fun continued on Monday, with the Jennifer Hudson Christmas Special (5.6m/1.2), and Tuesday with another appearance from Charlie Brown (6.5m/2.3). Charlie was followed by Scrubs (4.22m/1.8) and Better Off Ted (3.18m/1.3). Better Off Ted is the biggest surprise of the season for me. I didn’t expect Big Bang numbers or anything, but I never imagined it could do that bad. The ABC week wrapped early, with Eastwick (3.66m/1.3) burning off another episode on Wednesday.

FOX - The week got off to a rather strange start as The Simpsons (6.97m/3.2), Cleveland (6.53m/3), Family Guy (7.66m/3.8), and American Dad (6.2m/3.1) were all a bit off the pace despite the weaker competition. Monday saw another drop, for Lie To Me (6.64m/2.2), but that one makes a little more sense. The show is dependent on Dr. House.  So You Think You Can Dance had the final performance show on Tuesday (6.34m/2.3), and the big finale on Wednesday (7.09m/2.6). I don’t know if those numbers were good enough to bring another fall season next year, but you should certainly count on seeing it again in the summer.

I wouldn’t get too attached to the Gordon Ramsey Cookalong (3.99m/1.7) though. It would seem that FOX has finally found the limit with just how much Gordon Ramsey viewers can take. After taking Thursday off, the week finished up with Dollhouse (2.1m/.7). Despite being the only new scripted programming of the night, the show again landed in fourth place.

CW – Vampire Diaries carried the load all week as the network gave viewers a chance to catch up on the show. My prediction that all ten episodes would have more viewers than the last new Melrose ultimately failed. Only eight of the ten topped Melrose, which still tells you all you need to know about the Melrose future prospects.

CABLE - Compared to some of the networks we regularly follow, it doesn’t seem like a big number, but the finale for Dexter (2.56m/1.3) did very well. Not only is that the most watched original series episode the network has ever had, the last thing that topped it was a Tyson fight in 1999. That also led to a series high for Californication (1.06m/.5). Other cable numbers of note:

• The Closer (5.45m/1.2)
• Men Of A Certain Age (4.43m/1.3)
• Nip/Tuck (2.09m/1.1)
• Monday Night Football (13.08m/5.1)
• Pawn Stars (2.44m/.9 – 2.87m/1.1)
• Top Chef Reunion (1.35m/.6)
• Mythbusters (2.31m/1)
• Ghost Hunters (2.54m/1.1)
• Ghost Hunters Academy (1.82m/.8)
• Jersey Shore (2.49m/1.4)

Related posts

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The scheduling shenanigans continue as we race toward the Christmas and New Year’s holidays. Last week saw more holiday themed specials, and a lot of repeats. Fortunately, there were a few interesting numbers mixed in with all of the seasonal offerings. Things like big gains for The Middle, which is looking much better now that it’s not lugging around that Hank sized bag of stink. Or, Bones hitting season highs. Of course, not all of the interesting numbers were of the good variety. Melrose Place, Dollhouse, and Find My Family all found some coal in their ratings stockings.

ABC - We’ll kick things off with the home of The Middle (7.69m/2.4). With a lead in from Shrek (8.43m/2.6), The Middle was up, finally moving back in front of Gary Unmarried in their Wednesday comedy war. That led to another great outing for Modern Family (9.67m/3.8), and an oddly off the mark installment of Cougar Town (7.01m/2.8).  Earlier in the week, Sunday brought typically solid performances from Extreme Makeover (10.35m/3), Desperate Housewives (14.86m/4.9), and Brothers & Sisters (10.81m/3.7).

The news wasn’t as good on Monday. It started off well enough, with Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town (7.6m/2.5). But then Find My Family (5.23m/1.5) discovered that nobody can find their show. This is going to be a short lived experiment. That didn’t do any favors for Castle (7.8m/2.1). The only good news there is that it’s still well above The Forgotten.

There was more seasonal success Tuesday with Charlie Brown Christmas (11.17m/3.7) and Prep & Landing (12.04m/4.1). And more disappointment in the form of Scrubs (5.44m/2.3) and Better Off Ted (3.82m/1.5). Yes, Scrubs was up over last week, but considering the greatly improved lead in, and the fact that CBS took the night off, that’s not a good result. And Ted… good grief. The cancellation clock is, unfortunately, ticking. The week finished up with Supernanny (4.63m/1.3) and Ugly Betty (4.8m/1.4) on Friday. It’s worth noting that Ugly Betty was up again, giving hope that things can be turned around with the upcoming move.

FOX - The week started off with just one new program on Sunday, and that was the BCS Selection Show (9.28m/3.7). 9.28 million viewers or not, the BCS sucks balls and there really should be a playoff.  Anyway… Monday, House and Lie To Me made way for the Carrie Underwood Holiday Special (8.55m/2.3). Clearly, Carrie is no Dr. House, but those are reasonable, if not great, numbers for a variety special. So You Think You Can Dance saw some small gains on Tuesday (6.25m/2.4) and Wednesday (6.69m/2.3) as it races toward a finale. And Glee (8.13m/3.7) closed out the fall section of its run on a high note.

Bones (10.9m/3.1) kicked off Thursday with its best numbers of the season. That’s still short of Survivor, but has made FOX a solid second Thursday at 8. Unfortunately, that didn’t do much to help Fringe (6.32m/2.3) as it faded again in the face of a new CSI. Dollhouse (2.72m/1 – 2.09m/.8) closed out the week with some small gains on Friday. The kind of small gains that still have the show in fourth place behind things like Supernanny, Yes, Virginia, and a repeat Medium.

CBS – The Amazing Race (12.3m/3.7) started the week off with good numbers for its finale, which led to okay numbers for Cold Case (9.64m/2.2). If nothing else, it is a solid upgrade over Three Rivers. Things were much better on Monday. How I Met Your Mother (8.79m/3.5) and  Accidentally On Purpose (7.91m/2.8) were good enough to win their hour for the night. But the big news came from 2 ½ Men (14.84m/5) and Big Bang Theory (14.38m/5.6). 2 ½ Men continues to cling to that viewer crown, but you can feel safe in now calling Big Bang Theory the number one comedy on television.

Wednesday wasn’t quite as exciting, but did see small gains from Old Christine (7.49m/2.2) and Gary Unmarried (7.01m/2.3) to start the night. That led to Criminal Minds (14.43m/3.9) and CSI:NY (12.97m/3.2) both winning their hours in viewers and demo. There was more of that to be had on Thursday as Survivor (13.25m/4.2), CSI (16.43m/3.9), and The Mentalist (16.37m/3.6) all won their hours as well. The only new programming on Friday was the previously mentioned Yes, Virginia (5.27m/1.3).

NBC - Sunday Night Football (20.89m/7.9), as usual, was huge. That success was followed up on Tuesday by the Biggest Loser (13.45m/5) finale, which dominated from 8-10. Mercy (7.01m/1.8) and L&O SVU (7.92m/2.3) continued to struggle on Wednesday. As did Community (5.5m/2.2) and Parks & Rec (4.9m/2.1) on Thursday. Fortunately, the news was better for The Office (8.51m/4.2) and 30 Rock (6.7m/3.2). Friday’s highlight came in the form of the original Law & Order (8.77m/1.7) which won the hour in both measures.

Leno had an up and down week, with Tuesday bringing numbers (8.33m/2.9) the show hasn’t seen in months. If NBC could run a Biggest Loser finale every night from 8-10, there might be something to this whole Leno plan. In the absence of that, the other four nights amounted to two distant third place finishes, and two seconds. Leno did manage to edge out repeats of Private Practice on Thursday, and Numb3rs on Friday.

CW - There were only two nights of originals this week, with One Tree Hill (2.57m/1.2) and Gossip Girl (2.21m/1.2) doing fairly typical numbers on Monday. And 90210 (1.91m/1) and Melrose Place (1.25m/.7) bringing another off night on Tuesday. Those Melrose numbers are particularly bad when you consider that repeats from Vampire Diaries and Supernatural both beat Melrose.

CABLE – It’s a little late, but the big story for cable comes when we go back to the finale of Monk. The numbers are in, and fans sent their favorite investigator off in grand style. How does 9.44 million viewers sound? It’s a nice end for a very good show that deserves a lot of the credit for the successes USA is now having with all of their “Characters.” In less exciting sendoff news, Stargate Universe (1.34m/.5) had their mid-season finale the same night, to decidedly less viewers. That just barely edged out Sanctuary (1.33m/.4). It will be interesting to see what happens when the show returns. Other cable numbers of note:

• Dexter (2.11m/1.1)
• Alice, Part 1 (2.45m/1)
• Alice, Part 2 (2.12m/.9)
• The Closer (6.18m/1.4)
• Men Of A Certain Age (5.4m/1.6)
• Nip/Tuck (1.75m/.9)
• Californication (.91m/.5)
• It’s Always Sunny (2.13m/1.3)
• The League (1.2m/.7)
• Monday Night Football (13.48m/5.4)
• Pawn Stars (2.46m/1 – 2.77m/1.1)
• Dirty Jobs (2.92m/1.3)
• Steven Seagal: Lawman (1.98m/1 – 1.87m/.9)
• Top Chef (3.49m/1.8)
• Mythbusters (2.07m/1)
• Ghost Hunters (2.26m/1)
• Ghost Hunters Academy (1.5m/.7)
• Jersey Shore (2.12m/1.1)

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I saw this episode many weeks ago. I wrote this review many weeks ago. And yet the cold shakes that I felt by episode’s end are still with me. Wow.

How much I wished to never see Mia (Madeline Zima) again. Look, I’ve never been in Hank’s position. But as someone who’s at least created some sort of original content that stems solely from my imagination, the fact that Mia stole Hank’s book is just so vile to me. There’s no excuse that she can give, not a broken home, hard upbringing, whatever, that can excuse stealing someone else’s thoughts. We call it intellectual property, but I think even that assigns some amount of detachment from what it is: a piece of you. I’d have been happier to learn that she’d died while on tour.

But she did return, with her manager/boyfriend, played by James Frain, in tow. What a sleazy guy, looking to capitalize on both Hank and Mia in order to sell some ridiculous tabloid story. And why does Mia deserve that? She’s a thief. Was he really trying to protect her, or his own cash flow?

The issue of Hank having slept with Mia is a tough one to evaluate. No, I don’t fully believe that a man is innocent if he’s lied to by a girl about her age, but at the same time, there’s only so much you can do. And when they did sleep together, Karen may have been engaged to Bill (Damian Young), but Mia was no one as far as Hank was concerned. He’d never met her, so he certainly can’t be guilty of sleeping with his ex-partner’s future husband’s daughter — he slept with some underage chick.

At the same time, I can see how it would affect Karen, and Becca, but I think that Hank made a huge mistake not coming clean about it immediately. He allowed the mother/daughter bond between Karen and Mia to solidify, and the sister bond between Mia and Becca to grow, which only made it worse that he’d slept with Mia the more time that passed. Karen may have exploded, and she may never have gotten back together with Hank, but the situation was exacerbated when you account for everything that’s transpired between when it happened and now.

Look, Hank’s not a good guy — as far as Karen is concerned — and their love is only potentially damaging for her. But let’s put things into perspective here. What did this guy do to have his life reach where it did in the waning moments of this season? And how about where it did reach at the end of the season? From the moment Hank started to tell Karen what had happened — amidst all of their packed boxes, bruised and battered after his fight with Frain, with the only thing audible some soft music — to his being dragged to the police car, Karen holding Becca back, was one powerful interval of television.

Hank won’t be in prison for long, but when he gets out Karen and Becca will be long gone. And I’m not sure where I shake out on what Hank should do. Obviously he’s going looking for them next season, but should he try to win Karen back? And, before that, would he be chasing after them for selfish reasons only? Because, it’s clear that he’s only bad news for Karen, but isn’t he also only bad news for Becca?

Not that she shouldn’t have her father in her life, but maybe distance will help her to find herself. Becca’s familiarity with the way Hank leads his life is why she became who she did this season, why she slept with that guy even though it sounds like it was just something to do. Speaking of, Becca telling Hank was completely back to the last two seasons for their relationship, totally ignoring everything that’s come in the last eleven episodes. That was very unsatisfying.

Finally, I thought Kathleen Turner was finished on Californication, but it looks like her memoir might bring her back next season, just as it resuscitates Charlie’s career. I think representing Sue will make Charlie whole once again, and if Hank can ever get himself together to write another book, Charlie can be on top of the world.

Hey … maybe all of this is leading up to Hank writing a book based on his relationship with Karen. Maybe that’s what the entire series is ultimately going to be about. Could be.

What’d you think about tonight’s finale? How was season three for you overall?

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ABC has now announced that FlashForward will be taking a little break, with new episodes returning March 4th. And that really couldn’t have come at a worse time. Television is not usually a place where absence makes the heart grow fonder. More likely, viewers forget what you were up to and can’t be bothered to return. If that wasn’t bad enough, the show took it’s fall bow with it’s worst performance yet. Elsewhere this week, Sons Of Anarchy had a big finale, with some big numbers, and Dollhouse returned to be run over by a reindeer.

ABC - The Sunday combination of Extreme Makeover (10.36m/3), Desperate Housewives (12.78m/4.4), and Brothers & Sisters (8.69m/2.9) got the week off to a mostly typical start. Things changed on Monday, as the network had their first week with no Dancing With The Stars. The Grinch (9.2m/2.8) and Shrek The Halls (9.15m/2.9) did pretty well filling in from 8 to 9, finishing second in both measures for the hour. Things got a little sticky after that, as Find My Family (6.95m/2) took a big hit without Tom and Samantha.

More bad news came Tuesday, as Scrubs (4.63m/2 – 4.43m/2) tried, and failed, to fill those DWTS Results shoes. Scrubs is now the new According To Jim. It should have been canceled, but syndication money will keep those episodes coming. For perspective, the 12/16 According To Jim from last year managed (5.22m/1.8). That offered no help to The Forgotten (5.48m/1.2), which was beaten in the demo on Wednesday by the canceled Eastwick (4.25m/1.3).

Thursday is when things get interesting. Private Practice (9.21m/3.2) did alright filling in for Grey’s with a two hour episode. But FlashForward (7.07m/2.1) … it’s really not looking good. Not only was it bested by Survivor and Bones, as we’ve come to expect, it was also beaten in the demo by the struggling NBC comedies. And if the three month layoff saps any more viewers, it’s conceivable that we could see it fall to 5th in the demo when it has to face new Vampire Diaries in March. Add to that the 12/4 episode of Ugly Betty (8.37m/2.6) from last year and the situation really looks dire. Ugly Betty (4.23m/1.2) wrapped up the week on Friday by bouncing back a bit before she heads off to her new home in Eastwick’s old slot.

CBS - The network also saw a nice performance from a Christmas special as A Dog Named Christmas (12.36m/2.1) improved on the usual 9 to 11 Sunday performance. That came on the heels of another solid outing from Amazing Race (11.61m/3.4). Monday was all repeats, but it’s worth noting that 2 ½ Men (11.38m/3.2) and Big Bang Theory (10.09m/3.2) were still able to win their hour.

Tuesday saw the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (8.01m/2.9) taking advantage of a very successful NCIS (14.28m/2.7) repeat. Wednesday brought another successful Christmas outing in the form of Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (10.59m/3.8). The Grammy Nomination Concert (6.28m/2.3) that followed wasn’t quite as successful. Survivor (12.82m/3.9) was the only new entry on Thursday. Friday was down across the board, but Ghost Whisperer (8.23m/1.9), Medium (6.96m/1.8), and Numb3rs (7.38m/1.6) still easily won the night.

NBC - Sunday Night Football (19.21m/7.7) delivered as expected to kick things off. The party ended quickly though, as Monday was, as usual, rather disappointing. Despite the absence of DWTS and CBS being in repeats, Heroes (5.39m/2.3) and Trauma (5.36m/1.6) couldn’t gain any real ground. The best news of the week was the shifted Biggest Loser (9.99m/3.7) on Tuesday. The bump to 9-11 because of the Obama address gave a huge boost to the usual 10PM numbers from Leno.

The network didn’t see the same success with Christmas specials that ABC and CBS did, but Christmas In Rockefeller Center (8.69m/1.8) was just above the usual viewer number for Mercy on Wednesday. Thursday, Community (5.42m/2.2) and Parks & Recreation (4.8m/2.1) continued to struggle. And for those of you playing along with the home game, Parks & Rec remains below the Kath & Kim line (12/4 4.91m/2.2). The Office (8.05m/4.1) and 30 Rock (6.08m/3) were around the normal marks. The Muppets Christmas Letters (4.27m/1.1) closed things out on Friday.

As for Leno, it was not a good week. The big story when the whole thing was announced was that Leno would really pay off when the other networks had to go to repeats. Jay got his shot in a big way this week, and came up severely lacking. Leno was beaten by repeats from CSI: Miami, Castle, Criminal Minds, and The Mentalist. In fact, the only show Leno beat all week was Eastwick, which has already been canceled.

FOX – The Simpsons (8.88m/4.2), Cleveland (7.17m/3.5), Family Guy (8.5m/4.4), and American Dad (6.38m/3.3) started the week with their usual performance. House (13.25m/4.8) kept things going on Monday, finishing #1 in viewers and demo for the night. Lie To Me (7.48m/2.7) continues to be just okay following Dr. House. So You Think You Can Dance was at normal levels on Tuesday (5.84m/2.2) and up just a bit on Wednesday (6.27m/2.3). That led to Glee (8.15m/3.6) which won the hour in both measures.

Thursday, Bones (9.92m/2.9) had another solid second place outing, and Fringe (6.94m/2.5) took advantage of no Grey’s and a CSI repeat. Friday, Dollhouse (2.17m/.8 – 1.94m/.8) returned to the expected dismal numbers. The 1.94 million viewers for the 9PM episode is notable, as it was beaten by Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer on CW.

CW - It was another rather sparse schedule for the little network. One Tree Hill (2.4m/1.1) and Gossip Girl (2.23m/1.1) had fairly typical outings, as did 90210 (2.15m/1.1). And I suppose you could say Melrose Place (1.41m/.7) was typical as well, although that’s not a good typical. With Wednesday and Thursday in repeats, the only other new entry was Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer (2.22m/.7) on Friday, which has the distinction of finishing 4th in viewers.

CABLE - The big story on cable this week was the finale for Sons Of Anarchy (4.33m/2.3), which has now become the #1 series on FX. The week also saw the premiere of Steven Seagal: Lawman (3.44m/1.4 – 3.57m/1.6), to a surprisingly large audience. It will be interesting to see if that holds up. Some other cable numbers to consider:

• Dexter (1.8m/.8)
• Nip/Tuck (2.41m/1.1)
• Californication (.89m/.4)
• Rita Rocks (.57m/.2)
• Sherri (.78m/.3)
• It’s Always Sunny (1.89m/1.1)
• The League (1.05m/.7)
• Monday Night Football (21.4m/8.5)
• Soul Train Awards (4.05m/1.7)
• Iron Chef America (2m/.8)
• 25th Anniversary Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame Concert (1.22m/.4)
• Pawn Stars (2.88m/1.1 – 2.94m/1.2)
• WWE RAW (4.82m/1.7 – 4.55m/1.6)
• The Hills (1.72m/1)
• Top Chef (3m/1.5)
• Mythbusters (2.1m/1)
• Ultimate Fighter (2.53m/1.5)
• Ghost Hunters (2.44m/1.1)
• Ghost Hunters Academy (1.64m/.7)
• Jersey Shore (1.38m/.8)

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If I was Hank, and I had walked into that backyard for lunch, I would have run far, and I would have run fast. Who cares what it might look like, or what he’d have had to deal with later at home from Karen. Felicia, Karen, Hank, Jackie, and Jill all together for a meal? And then throw in the pee-pee dancing professor?

It had never occurred to me that Richard Bates (Jason Beghe) might have been the professor of Karen’s that she had an affair with while in college. I guess I should have paid more attention to how many times the cliche was mentioned in the “previously on” scenes recently, but, then again, hindsight is 20/20.

Anyway, after that bit of uncomfortable, this episode, like last week’s, lost it too. I know it’s hard to sustain excellence for an entire season, but Showtime puts on all of 12 episodes … couldn’t they have done a better job avoiding all of these stumbles?

A Civil War duel between Stacy and Hank? It’s funny as seen through the prism of Stacy’s particular proclivities, but in a grander scheme it was just really stupid. Besides, is he forgetting that he was the first to assault his wife’s honor, by cheating on Felicia back in the day? He should have marched ten paces, turned, and fired into his own head. Then maybe he could move onto Hank.

Anyway, I also think it’s truly the end for Marcy and Charlie, a welcome relief to the back and forth that’s dominated a lot of their time together this season. I think Charlie can really make a clean break if he starts with a new life, new home, new love, new job, new everything. Maybe then he can pull himself out of the spiral that found him playing domination sex games with his assistant in season one.

I was surprised, particularly after last week, that Karen almost seemed not to mind the entire episode with all of Hank’s lovers. I realize this is coming on the heels of her soul-searching conversation with Becca, but, if she was so upset that Hank slept with Felicia while she was in New York, shouldn’t she really be evaluating this new discovery from the perspective of how it affects their long-term prospects together? He was sleeping with three women, at the same time, while they were supposedly back together. Agreement or no, that’s a bit different than had he just spent one night with Felicia.

Yes, that’s Hank, and Karen knows that, but I would think that such voluminous activity proves that he just doesn’t have the inclination for a serious relationship. He couldn’t even commit to one affair, let alone to the woman he was committed to. I’m actually surprised that Karen landed on this side of that ultimate of decisions after last week.

Now Jill, on the other hand….

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• Dexter: The Complete Third Season: 45% off (other seasons discounted as well)
• Californication : The Complete Second Season: 54% off
• 24: Season Seven: 62% off
• CSI Miami: The Complete Seventh Season: 55% off
• The Shield: Season Seven – The Final Act: 57% off
• Burn Notice: Season Two: 54% off (or there’s also Burn Notice: Seasons 1-2 for 55% off!)
• Bones: The Complete Third Season: 67% off
• Crusade – The Complete Series: 67% off
• True Blood: The Complete First Season (HBO Series) [Blu-ray]: 60% off

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Okay, so this episode was a bit of a miss, a slight incident of falling off the wagon. Not like episodes five and six, which were just subpar, and also kind of inexplicable as far as their existence in the timeline this season. No, this one made sense, and it was the “Slow Happy Boys” that should have been (we definitely didn’t need two), but it was still not up to snuff.

Not surprisingly after last week, Charlie got canned, and he and Hank spent the night drowning their sorrows at bars. Hank’s sorrows? Becca and Karen seem to be moving on without him, if that isn’t a bit too extreme of a statement at this point. But still, the beginning of tonight’s episode with them walking past him to the car, combined with the end of last week’s episode when they went to the Koons’ at night, all seemed to indicate that, somehow, this was the ultimate of all indiscretions. Does Karen even know about Jill and Jackie?

I did think the used bookstore was really funny. It’s an interesting discussion about the powers of the marketplace; authors see nothing from the sale of one of their used books, and when it’s autographed and priced out at $100? Clearly the woman Hank gave it to didn’t think as highly of him as he did her. And then the competition with Julian (Angus Macfadyen), Hank breathing a sigh of relief when his used book came in five dollars cheaper … all about the ego, huh Hank?

But the liquor store robbery was weird. Then again, it was in keeping with the rest of the night, which also found Becca and Karen out to dinner with Marcy, who’s just beyond foulmouthed and disgusting in the presence of a young girl. I know a lot of people like her, but she at least needs to learn the concept of time and place.

The drunken tattoos were also a weird thing to throw into the season’s mix. Does that mean that the writers needed to account for more real-life David Duchovny body art?

Hank, Karen, and Becca are also in an odd place right now. I hate that Becca is always a factor in any equation about Hank and Karen’s relationship. Not that her needs shouldn’t be kept in mind, but she shouldn’t be an active participant in these matters.

And it seems that Becca’s speech to Karen has put Karen back on the “ins” with Hank. I do think that Becca has an excellent point — when will Karen realize that this is Hank, take him or leave him? But why is it that Karen can’t seem to manage to come to that understanding on her own after all these years that she and Hank have been together?

I’ll tell you one thing … I’m missing Jill.

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The biggest premiere last week came from cable, as AMC finally released their modern take on The Prisoner. I had been planning for months to make a comparison between that and media-darling Mad Men. I always find the amount of coverage that Mad Men is able to generate, despite the fact that its latest season hovered around 1.7 million viewers for most of its run, fascinating. We can still make that comparison, of course, but it didn’t work out the way that I expected. The initial sampling was good, with (2.22m/.8) checking out the two hour Prisoner premiere. Unfortunately, those people were clearly not impressed. The following nights were both a forgettable (.95m/.3). That’s really not good.

Back on the networks, it was a tough week for genre. Heroes found a new low, V dropped again, there is cause for concern at FlashForward, and the must-see Fringe managed to lose two-tenths in the demo. The news was better for Dancing With The Stars, The Mentalist, and Melrose Place. Although, “better” where Melrose is concerned is a very relative term.

ABC - The week started on a positive as Sunday was up across the board with Extreme Makeover (11.71m/3.7), Desperate Housewives (14.72m/5), and Brothers & Sisters (10.09m/3.2). The good news continued Monday as Dancing With The Stars (18.84m/3.9) continued to grow as they head for the finale. That was good for Castle (10.53m/2.5). It will be very interesting to see what happens to those Castle numbers after DWTS finishes.

Tuesday took a step back with V (9.32m/3.1) continuing to drop. DWTS Results (16.02m/3.2) and the returning The Forgotten (7.53m/1.8) were off pace as well. Wednesday, the network found an improvement for Hank with a Modern Family repeat (6.13m/1.9). The Middle (7.06m/2.4), Modern Family (9.16m/3.7), Cougar Town (7.92m/3.2) and Robin Roberts: Janet Jackson (6.62m/2.3) were all solid following.

FlashForward (7.98m/2.4) continued to slip on Thursday. That’s a far cry from the (12.47m/4) of the premiere. Survivor and Bones have long since moved on, leaving the show in third place in both measures. More troubling though is the increasingly poor comparison to Ugly Betty at this time last year. For example: 11/20/08 Ugly Betty (8.3m/2.6). It’s certainly not doomed, but it’s also not a hit by any stretch. The night was finished by Grey’s Anatomy (14.07m/5.1) and Private Practice (8.93m/3.1).

CBS - It was a mostly uneventful week, as most things were in-line with expectations. Sunday started with steady performances from Amazing Race (11.39m/3.4) and Three Rivers (8.19m/1.8). Cold Case (9.59m/2.1) was up, prompting the network to call for a swap with Three Rivers on the next go. Monday was, oddly, off in the 8 o’clock hour with How I Met Your Mother (8.16m/3.4) and Accidentally On Purpose (7.28m/2.8), while gaining at 9 with 2 ½ Men (13.69m/4.7) and Big Bang Theory (13.23m/5). CSI: Miami (13.26m/3.7) came back down after the big crossover.

Tuesday and Wednesday both had solid numbers across the night with NCIS (20.34m/4.1), NCIS: LA (14.87m/3.4), The Good Wife (12.7m/2.6), Old Christine (7.27m/2.2), Gary Unmarried (7m/2.4), Criminal Minds (13.7m/3.7), and CSI: NY (13.62m/3.2). Survivor (12.33m/3.8) remains #1 in its hour on Thursday. And it is worth noting that The Mentalist (15.85m/3.7) again was above CSI (14.91m/3.5). The week finished with a typical Friday, featuring Ghost Whisperer (8.43m/2), Medium (7.8m/1.9), and Numb3rs (7.84m/1.7).

FOX - The return to the regular animation schedule brought expected results for The Simpsons (9.13m/4.3), Cleveland (7.13m/3.4), Family Guy (8.49m/4.2), and American Dad (6.18m/3).  House (12.67m/5) and Lie To Me (7.23m/2.7) were off, but within reason on Monday. So You Think You Can Dance continues to soldier along on Tuesday (5.99m/2.4) and Wednesday (5.65m/2.1), along with their pals on Glee (7.36m/3.3).

Thursday brought another solid performance from Bones (9.88m/2.7), and more questions where the Fringe (5.9m/2) experiment is concerned. Despite the extra promotion for the episode, and the fact that ABC, NBC, and CBS were all down week-to-week, the show suffered another two-tenths drop in the demo.

NBC – Sunday Night Football (22.39m/8.6) was as strong as usual to start the week. And then things went a bit off the rails on Monday as Heroes (5.08m/2.2) found a new low. Could we really see Heroes fall below 5 million viewers, or a 2 demo this season? Trauma (5.18m/1.8) wasn’t helped by that. The Biggest Loser (9.56m/3.7) gave up a half hour on Tuesday for Merry Madagascar (8.97m/2.9), which did rather well.

Wednesday found Mercy (7.76m/2) climbing out of 1 point demo territory, while L&O: SVU (8.44m/2.4) continued to struggle to find its year-ago levels. Thursday night was down across the board with Community (4.87m/2), Parks & Recreation (4.55m/2), The Office (7.39m/3.7), and 30 Rock (5.72m/2.8). For those playing along at home, the 11/20/08 Kath & Kim was (5.47m/2.3).  Law & Order (7.52m/1.5) finished things off on Friday.

Leno continues to trip along, making no notable waves. The real story, if there is anything more to this then what we have already seen, will come as we enter the long stretch of holiday repeats. If Leno is going to make any gains, it should happen then. The numbers for the week:

Monday 4.45m/1.4
Tuesday 5.99m/1.9
Wednesday 4.79m/1.4
Thursday 4.77m/1.6
Friday 4.75m/1.3

CW - One Tree Hill (2.63m/1.2) and Gossip Girl (2.25m/1.2) got the week off to an uneventful start. The exciting bit was to come on Tuesday though. The struggles of Melrose Place are well known, and this was the week that was all to change. The return of Heather Locklear was set to put the show back on The CW map. Yeah … it didn’t quite work out like that. After a typical 90210 (2.1m/1.1) outing, the Locklear fueled Melrose (1.57m/.8) still landed in a distant last place on the network. Next Top Model (3.69m/1.8) had a strong finale on Wednesday, while Vampire Diaries (3.57m/1.6) and Supernatural (2.51m/1.2) continued to hold down Thursday night. Smallville (2.45m/1.1) finished off the week on Friday.

CABLE – Looking back at the 11/13 numbers, things seem to be stabilizing for White Collar (4.28m/1.1) and Stargate Universe (1.8m/.7). Sanctuary (1.67m/.6) seems to have found its audience as well. The other cable numbers for the week:

• Dexter (1.7m/.8)
• Sons Of Anarchy (3.48m/1.9)
• Nip/Tuck (1.89m/1)
• Curb Your Enthusiasm (1.26m/.5)
• Californication (.83m/.4)
• South Park (2.87m/1.5)
• Secret Girlfriend (1.27m/.7)
• It’s Always Sunny (1.49m/.9)
• The League (.86m/.5)
• Next Iron Chef (2.59m/1.1)
• Top Chef (2.81m/1.5)
• Mythbusters (2m/.9)
• Ghost Hunters (2.6m/1.1)
• Project Runway (4.28m/1.9)
• The Hills (2.25m/1.4)

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Picking right up where it left off after an awesome episode last week, I loved the scene tonight where Hank, Karen, Felicia, and Stacy were all sitting in Chelsea’s and Becca’s principal’s office. When Felicia let it slip that she and Hank had had an “indiscretion,” and Karen heard about it for the first time? Then Hank trying to convince Karen that it was an accent misunderstanding? This show is great!

The one story that Becca had going for her this season was a potential affair with Chelsea. I really didn’t expect to find that they’d been physically fighting, even after their little screaming match last week. It could break one of two ways: Becca will lay the blame for her losing her best friend ever at Hank’s feet, which I think will destroy them for eternity, or … wait, is there another option for how it went down? Okay, so no, but old Becca would have let it go, so who knows.

Can you believe that Karen’s problem with the affair seems to be that Hank slept with Felicia, as opposed to that Hank slept with Felicia? How can she hate her that much? I’m willing to wager that Felicia is modeled to a “T” on Natascha McElhone, which would just be really funny.

Felicia, for her part, has taken the Hank opportunity to turn her entire life on its head. Kicking Stacy out (so why was he the one in the house with Chelsea?) sounds like it was a long time coming. But it’s got to be about more than Hank giving her clarity if she told him she was done with him … unless he wants her again. Hank really got under her skin.

Another relationship to meet its end was Marcy’s with Rick Springfield. To be honest, I didn’t realize that she was under the impression that there was any longevity to it until this week — and he certainly didn’t give that impression last week. The entire incident with Hank and Charlie breaking into the school drug dealer’s dorm room made for some great levity, though couldn’t Hank have played the professor card to get out of there?

Anyway, that was a sad display by Springfield in the trailer, vacuuming coke off the floor with his nose. And there’s your tailspin. Or at least let’s hope that’s the lowest point the character is going to hit on Californication. I have to ask, though, because I’m still wondering this: was the lobster and lobster bib intended to be part of the coke-fueled sex romp in that trailer? Because, if so, how … why … in what way…. Yeah.

Two funny points to end off with. One, that Hank worked at Blockbuster in 1991, and spliced porn into Disney films. We’ve all heard the tired line about doing it as a projectionist in a movie theater, but in a video rental store? That’s original. Also, Stacy propositioning Karen was majorly creepy, and yet rather amusing in a sick sort of way. She never would have done it, but can you imagine the meltdown Hank would have had if they’d slept together?

It’d be worse than when she was with Bill (Damian Young).

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Example:
11/18/08: House (13.03m/5.5), Fringe (9.36m/4.2)
11/09/09: House (13.31m/5.3), Lie To Me (7.41m/3)

And that was against very similar competition. Both faced DWTS on ABC, which was pretty much a wash. NBC was greatly improved against Fringe with Biggest Loser (7.84m/3.3), as opposed to Trauma (5.35m/1.8). And CBS was mixed, with The Mentalist (15.83m/3.5) trailing the Men/Big Bang hour (13.62m/4.6) in the demo.

Now we look at where we are this season. Fringe did manage something of a rebound this week, finishing with (5.91m/2.2) on Thursday. That’s still a distant fourth place, and should find the show on the hot seat at the end of the season. It would, obviously, do better on Monday following House. The question is, would it do better than the (7.41m/3) that Lie To Me is currently offering? I think it would.

On the other side of that coin, while I’m not quite as confident about the move of Lie To Me to Thursday, I do still see the potential for it to outperform the current Fringe numbers. That bar has been set, after all, rather low. It would likely take a  hit in the move, but the end result would be that Thursday at 9:00 is stronger as well. Just something to think about. The usual numbers junk is after the jump.

ABC - The bubble burst on V (10.7m/3.8) rather quickly. Sure, that’s still a very nice number, but it’s also a heck of a one week drop. Consider the jury still out on this one until we see what episodes three and four bring to the table. Earlier in the week, the return of football on NBC brought Sunday’s Extreme Makeover (10.38m/3), Desperate Housewives (13.79m/4.4), and Brothers & Sisters (9.08m/2.9) down a tad. It was still a successful start to the week.

The good news continued as Dancing With The Stars (17.62m/3.4) and Castle (9.82m/2.4) both gained viewers. The DWTS Results (16.23m/3.5) were up as well, despite the V drop. The news wasn’t so good for The Forgotten, as In The Spotlight with Robin Roberts (9.34m/2.3) finished well above what the show has been doing. Wednesday, the CMA Awards (17.18m/5.3) were a huge improvement over the usual comedies and Eastwick. FlashForward (8.28m/2.6) sunk to third in both measures to kick off Thursday, while Grey’s Anatomy (14.87m/5.6) and Private Practice (10.25m/3.9) were both up. Ugly Betty (4.45m/1.3) finished things off on Friday.

FOX - The network didn’t really gain anything with the all-Seth night, featuring Family Guy (7.26m/3.7), Seth & Alex (6.73m/3.4), Family Guy (7.99m/4.1), and Cleveland (6.44m/3.2). The news was better on Monday as House (13.31m/5.3) remained the clear demo leader on the night. So You Think You Can Dance remained steady, if not impressive, on Tuesday (5.76m/2.3) and Wednesday (5.72m/2.2), while Glee (7.53m/3.4) was tied for #1 in the demo with Criminal Minds. Thursday, Bones (10.22m/2.9) took over the #2 spot from FlashForward. And Friday, repeats again topped the recent comedy/Dollhouse combo.

CBS - The good news is that Sunday was up across the board with Amazing Race (11.62m/3.5), Three Rivers (7.99m/1.8), and Cold Case (8.16m/1.7). The bad news is that those numbers from 9:00 to 11:00 are too low. Things were better on Monday. The network was down slightly from 8:00 to 9:00 with How I Met Your Mother (8.67m/3.5) and Accidentally On Purpose (7.89m/2.9). Then, up with 2 ½ Men (14.44m/4.6) and Big Bang Theory (12.8m/4.7). At 10:00 is where the real magic started.

The big crossover CSI event led to gains for Miami (14.38m/4), NY (14.51m/3.8), and the OG CSI (17.38m/4.1). He didn’t get to be part of the big event, but Gibbs and the crew at NCIS (20.96m/4.4) easily returned to the top of the Tuesday pyramid. That was good news for NCIS: LA (16.23m/3.7) and The Good Wife (13.35m/2.8) as well. Old Christine (7.19m/2.1) and Gary Unmarried (7.3m/2.4) were both up on Wednesday, despite that CMA increase at ABC. Criminal Minds (12.77m/3.4) was solid. Although, that demo battle with Glee could prove very interesting.

Thursday, as with CSI, Survivor (12.94m/4) was up too. The Mentalist (16.17m/3.6) was off a bit in viewers, but is still having a very good second season. And Friday was another easy win for the night by Ghost Whisperer (8.01m/2), Medium (8.16m/1.9), and Numb3rs (8.16m/1.8).

NBC – The return of Sunday Night Football (21.88m/8.5) was certainly welcome. Hopefully, it softened the blow of another series low for Heroes (5.26m/2.3), and the further struggles of Trauma (5.35m/1.8). The Biggest Loser (9.65m/3.8) remains a success on Tuesday. Mercy (6.68m/1.7), on the other hand, can only claim that it is an improvement over the Knight Rider numbers. L&O: SVU (8.77m/2.8) remains a mystery. That was good for fourth place, again, but it is headed in the right direction. And that 2.8 demo is starting to look really good given the rest of the NBC schedule.

Thursday was more of the same as Community (5.09m/2.1) and Parks & Recreation (4.58m/2.1) again fell short of the Kath & Kim bar (11/06: 5.57m/2.4). By comparison, things look pretty good for The Office (8.05m/4.2) and 30 Rock (6m/3). Law & Order (7.5m/1.7) finished things up on Friday.

CW - The week got off to a very good start as One Tree Hill (2.67m/1.3), Gossip Girl (2.37m/1.3), and 90210 (2.06m/1.2) all saw gains. That was the highest rated Gossip Girl since the season premiere. Things didn’t go so well for Melrose Place (1.28m/.7). It would seem that the network is just waiting to see what difference Heather Locklear makes before pulling the plug.

Next Top Model (3.2m/1.5) was again nipping at NBC’s  heels  in the demo on Wednesday. As was Vampire Diaries (4.1m/1.9) on Thursday. Supernatural (2.69m/1.3) was on par as well. Finally, Smallville (2.7m/1.2) continued to defy the odds on Friday, drawing more viewers than OTH, GG, 90210, Melrose, and Supernatural.

Cable - It’s probably way too early for the folks down at Stargate HQ to be getting nervous, but concern might be in order. Friday 11/06 found the Universe dropping again, to (1.63m/.7). That didn’t do any favors for Sanctuary (1.42m/.5). It will be very interesting to see where the show levels out. Over at USA, White Collar (3.85m/.9) continues to search for a level as well. Other cable numbers to consider:

• Mad Men (2.32m/.8)
• Dexter (1.76m/.9)
• Lincoln Heights (1.03m/.4)
• Sons Of Anarchy (3.83m/1.9)
• Nip/Tuck (1.75m/.9)
• Curb Your Enthusiasm (.98m/.3)
• Bored To Death (.63m/.3)
• Californication (.76m/.4)
• Rita Rocks (.48m/.2)
• South Park (2.78m/1.5)
• Secret Girlfriend (1.19m/.6)
• It’s Always Sunny (1.87m/1.2)
• The League (1.03m/.6)
• Monday Night Football (16m/6.5)
• The Hills (2.1m/1.3)
• Top Chef (3.02m/1.7)
• Mythbusters (2.13m/.9)
• Ghost Hunters (2.91m/1.4)
• Ghost Hunters Academy (2.07m/.9)
• Project Runway (3.13m/1.4)
• Keeping Up With The Kardashians (3.17m/1.7)

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While I’m not giving refunds to dissatisfied customers, I am asserting my claim that this was quite possibly the best episode of television that Showtime has ever aired.

I mean, just the perfectly executed confluence of events that didn’t play as over-the-top. Each knock at the door could have popped the balloon, but it just kept on rising higher and higher — and there wasn’t even a kid riding in it! In fact, this was not an episode meant for children, especially not Hank’s. Shot that one to hell.

The only downside I see is that less than a million people watch Californication every week (not sure how many airings that accounts for). But we’re going to do something about that. I’m proposing a campaign, ala the “save our show” movements founded by fans. Here’s what to do: buy a gross of condoms, and write the word Californication in permanent marker on each individual wrapper. Then hand them out all over town! At the very least that might land us all in jail … hey, any press is better than none.

I just can’t get over how well scripted everything was tonight. From Jackie’s friends so innocently stopping by for a night of debauchery, to a drunken stripper stumbling in on Hank and Becca’s heart-to-heart, not a moment was wasted, or done poorly. Even the Jackie moments, and I can’t stand her!

So first we had Jackie, who re-voiced her desire to build something real with Hank; she wants to be his girlfriend, and she’s willing to stop stripping for him. I like that she wasn’t leaving, and just plopped herself down on his patio with a book. Especially considering what was going on his bedroom.

Which was Rick Springfield and Charlie having a time with one of two strippers (the conscious one, thankfully). Kelley68 has enlightened me on Rick a bit, and I now appreciate his turn this episode a lot more. He’s like Neil Patrick Harris playing Neil Patrick Harris, and not himself, in Harold & Kumar; a parody, not a true representation. In which case, bravo on a great acting job, man! And your character’s extremely depraved.

Jill popping in was very welcome as far as I’m concerned. Hank should give their relationship a go, and not because she showed up naked under her raincoat. Although I knew sticking her in Becca’s room would backfire. And, uh, Jackie, you called Jill gross? Come again?

And then Felicia, who’s leaving her husband after one night of passion with Hank? I realize it’s less about Hank and more about what he unlocked in her, but she is a bit extreme, no? A little too much American in that Brit, maybe.

And then the Dean himself, suggesting three-way therapy for him, Felicia, and Hank? I love how clueless he is! And how perfect that, amidst all the craziness, he was more interested in Rick Springfield’s presence in Hank’s apartment.

I loved the entire back-and-forth once Becca and Chelsea showed up and Becca found Jill in her bedroom. First of all, how like the pilot was that with Becca walking in on one of Hank’s ladies naked? But how everyone found out about everyone else, including Chelsea learning about her mom’s affair? That can’t be good for the potential love bubbling between her and Becca.

And then Charlie and Rick started a fire in Hank’s bedroom, a result of the candle Rick was melting on him and/or the stripper … and we’re out. Wow!

There was one downer for me, which is this continuing juxtaposition of Hank as the kid and Becca as the parent. Why does Hank need to answer to Becca all of the time? But then the newly-awoken stripper stumbled out, and we were back to all good.

So, should this be Californication’s Emmy entry this year? How good was this thirty minutes of television?

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The World Series was the big ratings winner last week, but with New York involved, everyone kind of expected that, right? What nobody expected — most notably ABC — was the success of the V premiere. The numbers weren’t just good. It was the highest rated scripted program on the network, topping the Housewives and Grey’s. Even better, the V demo rating was the highest for a scripted show on any of the networks.  Someone at ABC has to be kicking themselves for only ordering four episodes of V, while they continue to crank out more Hanks than they know what to do with.

ABC – It was the big show for the week, so we’ll start with the V (14.3m/5.2) premiere on Tuesday. Even more impressive, it did that against Biggest Loser and NCIS. Not an easy timeslot. That was obviously unexpected, or production wouldn’t have been cut to 4, for now. It makes the results of episode two very interesting. How much of that audience will be back for more? That huge leap in the 8 o’clock hour didn’t do anything for the rest of the night. The Dancing With The Stars results show (15.05m/3.1) was up just a tenth in the demo, and The Forgotten (7.27m/1.9) actually managed to lose a million viewers week-to-week.

Earlier in the week, things were pretty standard on Sunday with Extreme Makeover (10.75m/3.3), Desperate Housewives (14.08m/5), and Brothers & Sisters (9.02m/3.3). Monday, Dancing With The Stars (16.69m/3.4) and Castle (9.43m/2.4) were both off just a bit, but we’ll chalk that up to baseball. Wednesday remains a mixed bag as Hank (5.09m/1.3), The Middle (6.04m/1.8), and Eastwick (4.44m/1.5) all continue to struggle. Modern Family (8.77m/3.5) and Cougar Town (6.87m/2.8) do like solid performers, however.

FlashForward (8.57m/2.6) makes Thursday interesting. It continues to drop, and you have to wonder if the audience is just giving up on it already. It long ago lost track of Survivor, and this week was also topped by Bones. Grey’s Anatomy (13.95m/5.1) and Private Practice (9.11m/3.4) remain a successful pairing. Friday, Ugly Betty (4.76m/1.3) remained steady, but the big surprise was from the Rihana episode of 20/20 (8.18m/2.7).

CBS - It was, for the most part, another very solid week. Sunday was steady, with Amazing Race (11.22m/3.3), Three Rivers (7.7m/1.6), and Cold Case (9.02m/1.7). Of course, that steady means that Three Rivers remains a disappointment and its future prospects are not good. Monday was also solid with How I Met Your Mother (8.82m/3.5), Accidentally On Purpose (8.09m/3.1), 2 ½ Men (13.51m/4.4), Big Bang Theory (12.73m/4.7), and CSI: Miami (12.52m/3.6). Those numbers are off a bit, but we’ll give them a World Series pass as well.

Tuesday, that giant V premiere didn’t do much to slow down the NCIS (20.18m/4.3) juggernaut. NCIS:LA (15.29m/3.6) and The Good Wife (12.74m/2.7) were also on par. Wednesday brought a slightly baseball-weakened combination of Old Christine (6.68m/2), Gary Unmarried (6.29m/2), Criminal Minds (12.55m/3.4), and CSI:NY (12m/2.8).

Thursday, Survivor (12.44m/3.7) is again firmly in control of the hour. More interesting, The Mentalist (16.21m/3.6) topped CSI (15.6m/3.5) in both measures again. The troubling bit came on Friday, as Ghost Whisperer (7.93m/1.8) and Medium (7.58m/1.8) both lost to Law & Order, while Numb3rs (8.09m/1.8) was beaten by 20/20. I can’t remember the last time CBS was beaten in all three Friday hours while running all new episodes.

FOX - The World Series was the story last week. Games on Sunday (22.76m/7.8), Monday (17.09m/5.3), and Wednesday (22.34m/7.4) all did extremely well. So You Think You Can Dance (6.12m/2.4) held down the fort on Tuesday, and Bones (8.66m/2.6) and Fringe (4.86m/1.7) were back on Thursday. Bones moved to #2 in the hour, while Fringe remains a distant fourth.

The quick reaction is to blame the time slot, but compare it to what So You Think You Can Dance is up against on Tuesday at 8. ABC gains 5.73m/2.6. NBC gains 3.93m/2. CBS gains 7.74m/.6. That’s 17.3 million more viewers, and 5.2 more demo points facing SYTYCD, and it still outperformed Fringe. There is also the argument that because World Series Game 7 was scheduled Thursday, people didn’t know it was on. Unfortunately, that doesn’t explain the fact that Bones still managed 8.6 million viewers, or all those other weeks of subpar Fringe numbers. And in case you were wondering, House and Bones repeats on Friday again topped the Brothers, Til Death, and Dollhouse numbers.

NBC - With no football in prime time this week, the big success actually came on Friday. Law & Order is finally showing a little life, with episodes at 8 (7.99m/1.8) and 9 (8.41m/1.9) both winning their hours. Earlier in the week, it was more of the same on Monday from Heroes (5.86m/2.5) and Trauma (5.82m/1.9). The Biggest Loser (9.11m/3.5) remains a solid hit on Tuesday. Wednesday, Mercy (6.63m/1.7) and SVU (7.95m/2.4) were off, but it was the final game of the World Series, so let’s wait and see.

Thursday, Community (5.45m/2.3) and Parks & Recreation (4.91m/2.2) were both up. However, they do both remain below what Kath & Kim (5.57m/2.4) were doing at this time last year. The Office (8.09m/4.1) and 30 Rock (6.15m/3) continue along the same path. Leno had another rough week, falling below 4 million viewers once, and below 1.5 in the demo three times. I’m starting to think that Leno one night a week might not be a bad idea. Give him the post Biggest Loser slot, and return scripted to the other four hours. The numbers:

Monday: 3.92m/1.2
Tuesday: 5.96m/2
Wednesday: 4.81m/1.4
Thursday: 4.83m/1.6
Friday: 4.6m/1.2

CW - Nothing too exciting to report this week. One Tree Hill (2.32m/1.1) and Gossip Girl (1.98m/1) look to have taken a small hit from baseball. 90210 (1.92m/1) and Melrose Place (1.48m/.8) continue to struggle as we all wait to see what Heather Locklear will do to the Melrose numbers. Next Top Model (3.87m/1.7) was up, despite baseball. Thursday remains the strongest night of the week with Vampire Diaries (4.09m/1.9) and Supernatural (2.65m/1.2). And Smallville (2.76m/1.2) continues to grow.

CABLE - Not a lot to yell about on cable this week either. It is worth noting that the second episode of White Collar (5.075m/1.2), from 10/30,  held up very well. It looks like USA has found a few more characters. Stargate Universe (1.97m/.8), from the same night, found itself falling below the 2 million viewer mark. Sanctuary (1.6m/.5) and Monk (4.69m/1) were fairly steady. Some other numbers:

• Mad Men (1.78m/.7)
• Dexter (1.88m/.9)
• Lincoln Heights (1.11m/.3)
• Greek (.66m/.3)
• Sons Of Anarchy (3.52m/1.8)
• Nip/Tuck (2.17m/1.1)
• Curb Your Enthusiasm (.98m/.4)
• Bored To Death (.72m/.4)
• Californication (.82m/.4)
• South Park (2.82m/1.5)
• It’s Always Sunny (1.99m/1.3)
• The League (1.41m/.9)
• Monday Night Football (12.37m/5.1)
• Kate: Her Story (3.79m/1.7)
• The Hills (1.99m/1.2)
• Mythbusters (1.82m/.8)
• Ghost Hunters (2.73m/1.3)

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With Karen back in the mix, it was expected that Hank would be putting to rest the three quasi-relationships that he’d been building since the season premiere. You’d think that the nature of each coupling was such as to make that an easy assignment. But then I suppose you never pondered the wonder that is Hank Moody.

First up was Jackie. A call to Hank’s office was naturally at first mistaken for a sex-romp, but that was quickly cleared up when Jackie started in on the plight of the sex worker. Why do people feel as if they’ve been used in these types of situations? Hank never started a formal relationship with her — where’s the using? It was extremely funny that Dean Koontz walked in just as Jackie was getting into position on all fours for a little goodbye … and funnier still that he in some way bought her explanation of a “joke.” But long story short she’s not letting Hank go.

Next up was my choice for Hank, Jill. Jill got an invite to a nice lunch, but Hank’s speech was interrupted by the appearance of Jill’s “egg waster,” his new fiance on his arm. You can’t tell me that Hank isn’t a good guy after he went over there and pretended that he and Jill’s ex had had a sexual encounter, during which Hank contracted a VD. Unfortunately for Hank, that only endeared him more to Jill. Strike two.

Last came Felicia, who I’ll admit would be an interesting side project for Hank while dating Jill. Felicia had actually moved on with her freebie — I hadn’t realized that Hank had turned her down with any finality — to yet another writer, this one played by Ken Marino (Tony from Reaper). And this time it was Hank who ruined things by “saving” Felicia from going the wrong route with her extramarital affair, instead magnanimously offering himself up as her mate. Always the gentleman.

But it was all good fun, and it was definitely a return to the strong start that season three had made. I told you that the classroom needed a voice in the episodes to be good right now!

Becca was off again … who was surprised that she was covering for Chelsea and a guy, as opposed to being in the room naked with her when Hank walked in? I totally thought that that’s where their friendship was heading. It also kind of stuck out as a total non-sequitur to both the rest of the episode and the rest of the season. But then again Becca tends to be doing that a lot lately.

Also a bit off was Sue and Charlie’s visit to her original client Peter Fonda, although I had no idea who he was while watching the episode (they didn’t say!). What was that all about?

But whatever; a little divergence was not going to harm such a strong outing. And like I said, stay tuned for next week. And before Collini’s out:

“You’re Runkle; you’d whack it to a cat dancing on YouTube.” – Sue

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What’s going on out there on the West Coast, folks? For two seasons, you carried Californication high on your shoulders, through different plots and different settings, everything gelling together for one great and interesting series.

But now? Ever since entering the realm of the classroom, the show’s failed for me — well, these last two weeks — whenever it’s ventured outside of it (“it” including people, places, and things). Where’s Jill? Why must we enjoy Felicia only as she relates to a mad Karen? Even Jackie was MIA … so is Professor Hank merely a tool for filling in the down-times?

Yes, there was about a half-a-second of an uncomfortable moment when Jill hung around after class, and when Jackie asked Karen what her name was, and then when Felicia walked in on Karen and Hank in his classroom. But beyond that? Karen’s annoying, Becca could use a punch in the side of the head, and even Charlie’s spinning off the planet at a ferocious velocity.

The suggestions to move back to New York are getting a bit old, inasmuch as it’s clearly not going to happen — or else they’d have to change the name of the show to some weird mash-up of a different city. And Karen being back alters the trajectory of everything I’ve enjoyed thus far this season. It makes me kind of annoyed to imagine that these three women are on the show for no more purpose than to be complications in Karen and Hank’s relationship. What a waste that would be.

I did enjoy the Karen-to-Jackie-to-Karen-to-Jill-to-Karen-to-Felicia-back-to-Karen action in Hank’s classroom, but it never went beyond a little tension, so what’d we gain? I was surprised, though, that Jill was the one who ended up seemingly flustered — I had my money on Jackie not keeping it together, because of her crazy and all. But there’s still time. And of course, as I said above, there was barely a hint of the affair when Felicia and Karen interacted, because Karen was so focused on Chelsea and her terrible influence. There’s more to come, I’m sure, but so far it fell kind of flat to me, all around.

It was rather funny, however, that Natascha McElhone (Karen), born in London and playing an American, made fun of Embeth Davidtz’s (Felicia) faux British accent (she’s from Indiana). Cute little poke at McElhone’s own country.

I didn’t expect Rick Springfield to return. Seriously — who in the world is he? I have no idea, and so a lot of the references mean nothing to me. What I didn’t miss was how disgusting Marcy is, though. No one should be excused for cheating, but Marcy seems to always forget that her spiraling drug-addiction was the first debit in the Runkle ledger. Even if they’re still not even, having sex with another man, loudly, with your husband, estranged husband, ex husband, or whatever, walking around in the house? Repulsive.

I’ll say it for the second week in a row — here’s hoping next week steps it up. What did you think about last night’s episode?

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A combination of baseball and pre-sweeps repeats made for a bit of an odd week. Repeats don’t mean there aren’t numbers of note however. We had Jay Leno’s first shot against CSI: Miami and NY repeats, and a look at what running repeats on Friday does for FOX. That is, nothing good for Dollhouse season 3. Also interesting this week — The Mentalist finally topped CSI in viewers and the demo, and even a repeat Gibbs appearance is worth 16 million viewers.

FOX - Having the baseball playoffs paid off big for the network when NY joined the party. The three contests last week included  ALCS Game 6 (15.48m/5.2) on Sunday, and World Series Game 1 (19.51m/6.3) and Game 2 (18.9m/5.8) on Wednesday and Thursday.  Needless to say, those were some serious gains over the usual occupants.

Elsewhere, So You Think You Can Dance (5.85m/2.6) was well off the usual House number in it’s one-time stop on Monday. On a brighter note, with CBS in repeats, it still finished #2 in the hour. Lie To Me (6.33m/2.4) struggled without the House lead in. There were similar numbers for the first SYTYCD competition episode (6.47m/2.5) on Tuesday. The only other number of note came from the House (3.4m/1.1) repeat on Friday, which topped the usual Brothers, Til Death, and Dollhouse combination.

ABC - The week got off to a steady start with Sunday’s Extreme Makeover (10.59m/3), Desperate Housewives (14.18m/4.7), and Brothers & Sisters (9.97m/3.3). On Monday, Dancing With The Stars (17.38m/3.6) was steady in the demo. That’s positive news for Castle (9.99m/2.5), which was up a tenth. There were more gains on Tuesday, as Charlie Brown (8.8m/2.8) easily bested the usual performance of Shark Tank. DWTS (15.2m/3) was down in the demo over the previous week, but The Forgotten (8.26m/2) still managed to grow.

Charlie Brown (6m/2) also proved to be an improvement over Hank on Wednesday. The rest of the night, including The Middle (6.49m/2.2), Modern Family (9.33m/3.7), Cougar Town (7.54m/3.2), and Eastwick (5.02m/1.8), was up as well. Less exciting, FlashForward (8.92m/2.7) managed to find series lows on Thursday. Grey’s Anatomy (13.74m/5.2) was down week-to-week, but still the highest rated scripted program for the night. Private Practice (9.16m/3.6) continues to hold up well.  Friday, Ugly Betty (4.5m/1.2) was steady, if not impressive.

CBS - The week started with a reasonably steady full slate on Sunday, featuring Amazing Race (11.22m/3.4), Three Rivers (7.78m/1.7), and Cold Case (9.3m/1.8). Then, there were a whole lot of repeats as the network took Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off. Of note among those was the Monday 9-10 comedy block winning the hour in the demo. Tuesday, NCIS (16.7m/3.3) was the most watched show of the night. And CSI: Miami and NY both won their hours outright.

New programming picked back up Thursday with Survivor (12.19m/3.7), CSI (15.24m/3.4), and The Mentalist (15.53m/3.6). That is of particular note, given that it’s the first time The Mentalist has beaten CSI in viewers and demo this season. Friday was down week-to-week, but the network still won all three hours with Ghost Whisperer (8.28m/2), Medium (7.69m/1.8), and Numb3rs (7.74m/1.8).

NBC – It was, for the most part, a fairly steady week. Sunday Night Football (14.98m/5.9) was off a bit facing baseball, but still a huge winner for the network. Heroes (5.72m/2.5) was right on pace with last week. Oddly enough, Trauma (5.78m/1.9) was actually up for the week in which it was canceled. The Biggest Loser (9.67m/3.7) continued to cruise on Tuesday. And NBC got an animation boost of their own as Monsters vs Aliens (6.24m/2.2) improved on the Mercy demo on Wednesday.

Law & Order SVU (8.24m/2.8) was down in viewers, despite the Criminal Minds repeat. I suppose we can chalk that up to baseball. Thursday, Community (5.32m/2.1) was the only show that was actually up week-to-week. Parks & Recreation (4.8m/2), The Office (8.21m/4.2), and 30 Rock (6.1m/3.1) were all down, but close enough to expected averages. Friday, Law & Order (7m/1.4) continued to struggle.

Leno didn’t have a good week. Before the premiere, one of the network’s talking points was that while the show will get beat by originals, wait until it airs against repeats. We’ve seen what that looks like, and it’s not good news for Jay. Not only is Leno still being beaten by repeats, the numbers are still dropping. This week, Leno against a repeat CSI:Miami finished below Leno against a new CSI:Miami last week. Friday also brought the lowest demo in the series.

Mon – 4.74m/1.3
Tue – 6.06m/1.8
Wed – 5.03m/1.5
Thu – 4.41m/1.5
Fri – 5.14m/1.2

CW - The little network had a very good week. They took Tuesday off, but the other four nights were all up over the previous week. One Tree Hill (2.67m/1.3) and Gossip Girl (2.31m/1.2) took advantage of the missing House and repeat comedies. Next Top Model (3.51m/1.6) actually faced much stiffer competition with World Series Game 1, but looks to have gained some of those displaced SYTYCD viewers. Vampire Diaries (4.18m/2) and Supernatural (2.92m/1.4) were at the highest levels we’ve seen since the premiere. Smallville (2.6m/1.2) wrapped the winning week on Friday.

CABLE – The shine has worn off The Jeff Dunham Show (2.33m/1) rather quickly, as week two had less than half the viewers of week one. The other notable bit from the cable world was the premiere of FX’s new comedy, The League (.99m/.6), which is much better than its ratings might lead you to believe.

From the previous Friday, 10/23, here are a few of the cable numbers:

• Stargate: Universe (2.02m/.8)
• Sanctuary (1.69m/.5)
• Monk (5.42m/1.5)
• White Collar (5.4m/1.4)
• Wizards of Waverly Place (4.39m/.8)

And from the week just completed:

• Mad Men (1.72m/.6)
• Dexter (1.68m/.8)
• Greek (.77m/.4)
• Sons Of Anarchy (3.39m/1.8)
• Nip/Tuck (2.2m/1.1)
• Curb Your Enthusiasm (1.05m/.4)
• Californication (.77m/.4)
• Bored To Death (.65m/.3)
• South Park (2.57m/1.3)
• Secret Girlfriend (1.38m/.7)
• It’s Always Sunny (1.35m/.8)
• Top Chef (3.04m/1.7)
• Project Runway (3.24m/1.4)
• The Hills (2.05m/1.2)
• Dirty Jobs (2.31m/.9)
• Mythbusters (2.56m/1)
• Ghost Hunters (3.06m/1.4)

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I guess, as they say, what goes up must come down. After loving the first four episodes of this season of Californication, I found myself totally and completely disappointed with last night’s outing. In fact, I’m not sure that I saw a single thing that I liked, aside from always enjoying one of David Duchovny’s performances.

I actually wonder if it’s merely coincidence that led Showtime to only include the first four episodes on the screener that they sent out before the season premiere…. Not that I imagine that the rest of the season will suck like last night (I hope not) — it will take a lot more than one bad episode to turn such a terrific start completely around — but last night really sucked.

Becca (Madeleine Martin) really bothers me. There’s no reasonable explanation I can think of for her sudden mood shift, and if there is one, give it to us! Don’t just show her pouting in the face of all things Hank. I know she merely breezed in and out with the opening and closing credits, but man did she kill the mood from the word go.

And Hank should have just gotten out of LAX as fast as he could after seeing her off. Who the hell was this moron Zloz (Kevin Corrigan), and what did we do to deserve him, even just for one episode? Not only was he disgusting, but he didn’t advance any part of the story, and he made Hank look bad by association. If Hank had been smart, he would have let the guy hang himself, either at the party, or at the strip club. Old friends don’t have to be losers who suck the life out of you, you know.

I wasn’t wild about seeing Daisy (Carla Gallo) again, either. Not that I prefer Marcy (Pamela Adlon) for Charlie, but I think Daisy was the harbinger of a really bad trajectory for his character last season. I’m not sure that her brief visit hurt any less, considering the fact that she was alerting him to possible STDs that he’s been walking around with.

The winner, so far, in last week’s “gal for Hank” poll was Karen (Natascha McElhone). I’m not sure that I agree with you — or rather, I know for a fact that I don’t — but I do think it’s interesting that she’s dropped back in, even if only for a visit. The last image we had of Hank’s classroom was of Jill, Felicia (Embeth Davidtz), and Jackie (Eva Amurri), all assembled and hanging on Hank’s every word. Add Karen to the mix, in the classroom or out, and Hank is going to have one messy night next Sunday. As well he should, assuming that he and Karen are still “on again.” But I’m not so sure that they are, and I’m not so sure that that’s just Hank’s fault. We’ll see what Karen’s doing back in LA.

Anyway, I see easy-going Jackie being the crazy jealous one (maybe Karen will shoot her? Jackie continues to tank all of Hank’s screen time that he spends with her), and Jill taking a respectful step back while at the same time questioning what she and Hank have. Felicia will probably get off on the thrill of sleeping with Hank under both her husband’s, and Karen’s, noses. Sure, this will all be short-lived, but maybe it’s meant to shake out the “who” and “what” for Hank going forward.

After setting the bar so high — for two seasons and so far this year — the worst thing that the show can do is skimp on its best characters. Right now Jill and Felicia number among them … last night’s final mistake was cutting them out entirely.

I’m hoping for much better results come next week.

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The real estate market is a fickle beast, so when you get lucky enough to find and fall in love with something that’s already been built, you pounce on it. In fact, it’s such an unlikely scenario that you should realize just how lucky you are. So why is it that one insignificant little thing will always tank the deal?

I’m not saying that the clogged toilet off of Marcy and Charlie’s master bedroom was a pretty sight, but to be the breaking point for a couple who’d been back repeatedly to check out what was clearly their dream house too? We accept mates with more flaws than we allow our properties to have. Also, the couple’s not being turned off might have forestalled the Runkles from reuniting, so it would have been good for them and for us. Stupid erratic consumers.

This was another strong episode. Funny, interesting, and I love both Jill (Diane Farr) and Felicia (Embeth Davidtz). The characters are strong, the actresses are talented, both play great opposite Hank, and I really like all the potential for both romance and love triangle drama that lies with each of them. It’ll be a little creepy if Felicia starts helping out with Becca for real — Hank and Felicia hanging out with their daughters while she cheats on her husband with Hank? I mean, he’s done worse many times before, but talk about awkward….

What I don’t understand is Jackie (Eva Amurri). Yes, she’s a student, a stripper, whatever. That’s actually beside the point for me. I just don’t like her, I don’t think she adds anything, and I honestly don’t find her particularly attractive. In fact, I’m having a hard time finding any plausible reason whatsoever as to why Hank would be interested in her, other than the fact that he wants all women. But is that enough of a reason when he’s juggling two others and a third in New York?

I did really enjoy the scene at the end of the episode where all three took their seats in his classroom; admittedly, it wouldn’t have had the same effect if there were only two (I also thought that all three would put their legs up on their desks and be, well, feeling a breeze). But otherwise I wish Jackie would get dropped. I’m not interested — though I realize that their relationship may have more consequences than the one with Felicia — and I’m concerned that she will steal focus from the Jill and Felicia plots.

I won’t lie and say that Jackie’s scenes didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the episode, but beyond her screen time I found this fourth episode to be living up to its predecessors. Californication really is one of the finest shows on television today. I know it would never get the creative freedom it enjoys were it not on a network like Showtime, but it’s a shame that that results in a limited audience.

Could Californication make the leap to mass audiences like Dexter and The Sopranos before it? I actually think the depravity may be more extreme when it comes to Hank, but you never know. With a show as great as this, it certainly might be worth a try.

Anyway, what do you think about Hank’s current love life?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

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It was a strange week for ratings. Brett Favre playing against Green Bay made for a huge Monday Night Football (21.84m/9) audience on ESPN. And then the baseball playoffs ran through the rest of the week, calling a lot of the seemingly odd drops in viewers into question. Despite that increased competition, there was some good news to be had. The Biggest Loser, Bones, The Office, Lie To Me, Castle, and The Simpsons all managed to make gains week-to-week. Dollhouse also got in the game, stopping a four episode streak of series lows. On the other side, it’s starting to look like ER took all of it’s viewers with it when it left. The premiere numbers for Three Rivers were not good, and NBC’s dueling medical dramas continue to struggle.

FOX - Animation Domination got the week off to a great start, with The Simpsons (9.38m/4.4), Cleveland (8.86m/4.4), Family Guy (9.86m/5.1), and American Dad (7.14m/3.6). Food for thought: In the demo, that makes Family Guy the #1 comedy of the week. On Monday, House (13.74m/5.4) looks to have taken a hit from football. The good news though, is that Lie To Me (8.06m/3.1) was up, despite the drop from House.

Tuesday and Wednesday were fairly steady with Hell’s Kitchen (7.43m/3.3), So You Think You Can Dance Tuesday (5.47m/2.5), SYTYCD Wednesday (6.22m/2.5), and Glee (7.28m/3.3). Thursday was another example of just how solid the Bones (10.29m/2.9) audience is. No matter the night, or the competition, it gets its numbers. And it is getting very close to passing up FlashForward in the demo as well. Unfortunately, Bones being up, and the appearance of Nimoy, didn’t help Fringe (5.83m/2.1). For now, let’s blame a special episode of The Office and see what happens next week.

Friday brought very similar results, with Brothers (2.35m/.8), Til Death (2.36m/.8), and Dollhouse (2.25m/1). If your glass is half full, those Dollhouse numbers are a win, because the streak of series lows that stretches back four episodes to last season was ended. If your glass is half empty … it was still the second lowest rated episode the series has had.

CBS - The Amazing Race (9.8m/2.8) was down to start the week, which didn’t offer much help to Three Rivers (8.97m/1.9). That’s really not good for the premiere. Cold Case (10.05m/2.2) was steady, if not impressive. Monday was down across the board with How I Met Your Mother (8.08m/3.4), Accidentally On Purpose (7.16m/2.8), 2 ½ Men (13.3m/4.4), Big Bang Theory (12.52m/4.7), and CSI: Miami (13.43m/3.9). I’m willing to chalk that up to football, but the AOP demo is something to keep an eye on.

Tuesday’s lineup, NCIS (20.7m/4.3), NCIS:LA (16.31m/3.6), and The Good Wife (13.69m/2.9) was also down every hour, but still far and away #1 for the night. There were gains on Wednesday as Old Christine (6.86m/1.9) and Gary Unmarried (6.84m/2.2) were both up. Criminal Minds (14.05m/3.6) and CSI:NY (12.43m/2.9) were both down slightly, but Criminal Minds did take back the number one spot in the demo from ABC.

Thursday was another night of decreases, with Survivor (11.69m/3.4), CSI (14.89m/3.5), and The Mentalist (14.7m/3.3) all down. On the plus side, all were the most watched programs in their slots. Friday was again a cake walk, with Ghost Whisperer (8.6m/2.1) and Medium 8.3m/1.9) up week-to-week. Numb3rs (7.13m/1.6) was slightly down in viewers, but did win the hour.

NBC – As always, Sunday Night Football (18.42m/7.4) is solid. The Biggest Loser (9.25m/3.7) also did well, gaining week-to-week and winning the 9PM hour in the demo. More good news came from the big wedding episode of The Office (9.42m/4.8). That is higher in viewers and demo than every episode from last season. Elsewhere, it was a very NBC week.

Heroes (5.46m/2.4) continues to explore new lows. And that isn’t helping Trauma (5.37m/2.7). Mercy (7.43m/1.8) is doing slightly better, but that’s still not what you would call a real success, given the weak Wednesday competition. Community (4.87m/1.9) made the big move to 8, and managed less viewers than SNL Thursday. It did, at least, provide a boost for Parks & Recreation (4.75m/2.1). Things were slightly brighter for L&O SVU (8.29m/2.6) and Law & Order (7.23m/1.5), but both are not even close to doing what they once did.

Leno? He had a tough week. The numbers continue to slowly grind down to a level, with this week finding two nights dropping below 5 million viewers. Tuesday remains his most successful night.  The only nights where he isn’t last in both measures are Tuesday (2nd in demo) and Wednesday (2nd in viewers).

Monday (4.45m/1.5)
Tuesday (6.22m/2.1)
Wednesday (5.72m/1.7)
Thursday (4.84m/1.7)
Friday (5.33m/1.4)

ABC – Things got off to a nice start Sunday as Extreme Makeover (11.63m/3.4), Desperate Housewives (14.64m/5), and Brothers & Sisters (9.46m/3.2) were all up. A return to the 5s in the demo is very encouraging for Desperate Housewives.  With Monday, the network started suffering many of the same drops the other networks saw. Dancing With The Stars (16.35m/3.5) was down, but still strong. On the plus side, despite that drop, Castle (9.23m/2.2) was up just a bit.

DWTS (12.42m/2.6) was down on Tuesday as well, while Shark Tank (5.15m/1.5) and The Forgotten (7.55m/1.9) both saw small viewer gains. Wednesday was one of those very curious nights, with Hank (6.45m/1.6), The Middle (6.79m/2.1), Modern Family (8.82m/3.4), Cougar Town (7.84m/3.2), and Eastwick (5.14m/1.8) all suffering large losses. We’ll have to wait for next week to see how much of that sticks. The best news there is probably for Castle, which is now well above The Forgotten and Eastwick.

Thursday remains a strong night for the network with FlashForward (9m/3), Grey’s Anatomy (14.13m/5.4), and Private Practice (9.5m/3.6). Those numbers still have FlashForward ahead of where Ugly Betty was last season, but it has now fallen to third in viewers and second in the demo. It will be interesting to see where it plateaus. Private Practice is notable because it remains ahead of The Mentalist in the demo, which is an unexpected win.

CW - One Tree Hill (2.13m/1.1), Gossip Girl (2.08m/1.1), and 90210 (2.09m/1.2) were all down in viewers this week, with 90210 gaining a tenth in demo. Melrose Place (1.6m/.9), on the other hand, was up in both measures. I believe the gains come from starting the episode with Katie Cassidy in her underthings, and look forward to the network taking that into account as they film new episodes.

With Next Top Model (3.15m/1.5), Wednesday was down just a touch in viewers, and up a whole bunch in WTF? Seriously, why is there a repeat of Melrose following the number two show on the network? The spot is open, and Smallville would obviously do better Wednesday at 9. Thursday, Vampire Diaries (3.52m/1.7) continues to lead the network, and Supernatural (2.47m/1.2) had a small drop in viewers. Friday, Smallville (2.3m/1) was down year to year, but still managed more viewers than OTH, GG, 90210, and MP.

Cable - Monday Night Football (21.84m/9) took full advantage of all of the Favre craziness, topping everything on the broadcast networks for the week in viewers and demo. Other highlights this week included the Entourage finale (2.49m/1.5), Sons Of Anarchy (3.67m/2), and Project Runway (3.22m/1.5). Also of note, the Seinfeld reunion was able to add an extra half million viewers to Curb Your Enthusiasm (1.56m/.7). In really crazy drop numbers, remember that Jon & Kate premiere with 10 million viewers? All of their shenanigans have resulted in the latest episode managing just 1.71 million. Some other cable numbers to peruse:

• Army Wives (3.33m/1.1)
• Drop Dead Diva (2.79m/.9)
• Dexter (1.37m/.6)
• Californication (.77m/.4)
• South Park (2.67m/1.3)
• Secret Girlfriend (1.55m/.8)
• WWE RAW (4.71m/1.6)
• The Ultimate Fighter (2.76m/1.6)
• It’s Always Sunny (1.51m/.9)
• Mad Men (1.91m/.7)
• Bored To Death (1.08m/.5)
• The Hills (2.3m/1.4)
• The City (1.61m/.9)
• Lincoln Heights (.75m/.2)
• Greek (.72m/.3)
• Top Chef (2.76m/1.5)
• Mythbusters (1.89m/.9)
• Ghost Hunters (2.74m/1.3)
• Destination Truth (2.04m/1)
• Sherri (.44m/.1)
• Rita Rocks (.28m/.1)

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I’d say Hank’s about what I’d expect him to be as a teacher. Aside from the loving care he shows his students — one was so passionate about Hank’s feedback that he attempted to commit suicide last week — he draws naked doodles during staff meetings, makes crude jokes to the head of his department, and attempts to get out of commitments at the dean’s house.

Which isn’t to say that I’m disappointed … just because something conforms to certain expectations doesn’t mean it lets you down. I’m enjoying Hank’s attitude, as I’m sure he is for just as long as he manages to keep his job.

Which may or not be made easier by the fact that he’s fooling around with Felicia (Embeth Davidtz), on the one hand his boss, and on the other hand the dean’s wife. Of course she might not be as eager to save his job if she learns that he’s also hooking up with TA Jill (Diane Farr). Hank just rolls from one woman to the next so easily, it’s incomprehensible. I wouldn’t trade my life for his if I was being paid to, but I think Hank is a fantastic character, written and acted brilliantly. His curse according to him, and a condition that I believe he just may “suffer” from, is that he truly falls in love with almost every woman he meets, even if just for a few hours.

You (and I, honestly) see mainly sleaze, but I think Hank really does have a perception of the fairer sex that is more than the platitudes that the rest of us pay them as a group. Hank sees women as the pinnacle, the greatest gift that God ever gave the world. Think he’s disgusting or not, but at the very least that is a beautiful thing.

I also absolutely must make mention of Jill here. I think that not only is the character written fantastically well, but Farr is a really talented actress who’s made a huge impact on the show in a very short time. She’s also extremely strong opposite Hank, and she could make — in fact has already made – for some really interesting television going forward. I know that no one breaks through to Hank, and chances are that she won’t last very long, but allow me a moment to make a suggestion: hang on to Jill long-term.

Hank will never make a commitment, but Jill could always be a “we’re both free” type of significant other. And, just as interesting, she could be a colleague and a friend of Hank’s for as long as it’s plausible to keep her around. If Karen has spent most of the series NOT as a significant other, why not give it a try with someone else, as well? It certainly couldn’t hurt, and I’m betting it just might be perfect.

Just so you don’t think I missed what else was going on tonight: while I appreciate that Becca finally appears to be acting her age, did she have to hit “teenager” so hard? It would have been understandable had she eased into the drugs and boys and whatnot, considering the fact that she’s experienced a lot more crap than most other kids her age … you’d think she wouldn’t experience the same extreme “woe is me” moments as her peers.

Charlie, meanwhile, is in a perfect storm of a screwed up situation. Sue (Kathleen Turner) is seriously in her own world, and is so far over the line between joking and sexual harassment that this could only end badly. Do you imagine that, as soon as he stops pleasing her in the “bedroom” — unfortunately meaning her office this episode – she won’t cut him loose? Had they never started, that’s one thing. Now….

By the way, who in the world is Rick Springfield?

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