If you haven’t heard yet, ABC declined to order anymore episodes of Eastwick, essentially canceling the series. The obligatory “Save Eastwick” campaigns have already begun, but the chance of anything happening is small. Sure, the show had some fans, but when Jay Leno is beating you in the ratings, it’s certainly not a good sign.

I know I was looking forward to the show before the season started, as I was a fan of the movie and the book, but I was ultimately disappointed. Indeed, the series was very, very loosely based on either pieces of source material and clearly was not targeted toward single 27 year old males, such as myself.

So why did the series fail? I have some thoughts.

The simple answer would be that the show just wasn’t very good, but it’s so much more complicated than that. Here are some of the reasons that I picked up on:

• Expectations: By basing a series on something as well known and popular as The Witches of Eastwick, there are certain expectations that are created. The series did some things smartly, such as making all three women completely different characters, but the memories of the movie and book still existed and the show was never able to meet them. Indeed, I think this show would have been better off just renaming itself and cutting any connection to The Witches of Eastwick.
• Mood and Tone: The series completely missed the boat when it came to matching the mood and tone of the movie or the darker book. I’m sure that was a decision made by the writers and creators, but I know, at least for me, it was a big sticking point. The show was missing the wicked streak that was in the movie, and even more present in the book. Where was the controversy? Where was the scandal? Everything seemed watered down in the show.
• Darryl Van Horne: The show reinvented all the main women on the show, but they tried to recreate Darryl Van Horne to match the devilish character from the source material. Unfortunately, that meant calling on Paul Gross to try to fill the shoes of the legendary Jack Nicholson. It just didn’t work.
• Uneven focus: It seemed like the show was almost fighting against itself at times. At one moment, there would be something goofy and silly happening, with Lindsay Price’s character usually, and in the next scene someone would die a horrific death or get assaulted. The dark and the “fun” just didn’t mesh well.
• Not enough sex and magic: That’s what this show should have been all about. In both the book and the movie, the women are seduced by Darryl and the magic that they find themselves possessing. In the show that was boiled down to mere flirtation, and all the ladies were given other relationships to focus on. As far as magic is concerned, it just wasn’t fun. Let’s face it, what we really needed were some cherries!

Am I way off base here? Am I too hung up on the source material? Are you sad to see Eastwick go?

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I adore TNT. For me, they seem to have come out of nowhere when Leverage boomed onto the scene (I know, I’m a late bloomer), but I’ve been keeping a good eye on them since then, and every decision they have made has been a winner.

Before Leverage, TNT was going strong with The Closer and Saving Grace, two unique series driven by strong women. Nothing bad about that angle! Since then they’ve realized their original programming is kind of kick-ass, so they’ve debuted Dark Blue and HawthoRNe. It’s like watching a good game of poker, as Kenny Rogers said: “You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em (Leverage), know when to fold ‘em (Trust Me), know when to walk away (Saving Grace being allowed to finish out), know when to run (*cough*Trust Me*cough*)….”

TNT also knows just how to pick the shows they air in syndication: Angel, Bones, Charmed … someone’s got a crush on David Boreanaz (no need to feel embarrassed), and someone likes to dabble in the supernatural over at the TNT Powers That Be.

Now, two recent decisions on TNT’s part solidifies that someone working there has cornered the market on savvy, especially when it comes to knowing what the viewers want and the networks can’t deliver. First of all, they picked up NBC’s canceled Southland, which they’ll at least finish out. Time will tell if they decide to film new episodes.

And in a press release today, we’ve learned that TNT has acquired exclusive syndication rights to The Mentalist. Could that show fit in any better with TNT’s lineup? A stroke of brilliance, I tell ya!

If I were NBC, I’d plant an inside man to find out who is making all of these great decisions, and start wooing them away. It’s clear that NBC needs some help from someone with a proven track record.

Read on to the next page for TNT’s official press release on The Mentalist pick-up.

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So why does NBC insist on holding out this show on me every year?

Look, I understand that 30 Rock has pretty low numbers, ratings-wise, but I absolutely fail to understand how starting the season later helps matters. Wouldn’t it stand to reason that people want things to start all around the same time? I can’t help but think that the late starts are actually hurting 30 Rock in the long run — people look at a late-starting show and go “oh, I don’t need another thing to start watching” once their schedule is made. Meanwhile, long-time fans like me often miss the premiere by accident or go crazy waiting.

Besides, what they offer me as an alternative is just plain insulting. Saturday Night Live? How’s that supposed to make me feel better? If I found that funny, which I don’t, I’d watch that on Saturday, thank you very much. Why would I tune into you when I have the far superior Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert making fun of the news? And how many viewers are you losing by them thinking that this SNL malarky is going to continue all season?

It’s simple, NBC. You’ve got gold when it comes to 30 Rock, so exploit it. Pimp it out. Make it easy for people to to catch up with. Don’t go holding out the premiere on us until some random week in October every year. There’s an old saying — don’t build a village around the village idiot. If the general public isn’t cool enough to latch on to how awesome 30 Rock is, don’t sweat it. You’ve still got a viewing public and critical mass that loves you, and your eight bazillion Emmys are proof of that. We aren’t your village idiots. We are your village of awesome people.

Now if you’ll excuse me, that rant took a lot out of me, and I’m going to have to re-fuel. Sabor de Soledad, anyone?

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Even if you’ve never heard of the novels, I think I can entice you with some of the casting (particularly if you’re a fan of genre TV)….

There has been a flurry of casting news coming out lately for A Game of Thrones, and most of it has been pretty impressive. One of the biggest roles in the show was cast early, and it also brings the biggest name to the program: Sean Bean as Ned Stark, patriarch of one of the main families in the series. Fans of the genre will remember him as Boromir in The Lord of the Rings films.

The other family is lead by three siblings, and all have been cast with familiar faces. The pair of devious twins, Cersei and Jamie, will be played by Lena Headey (Sarah Connor from the dearly departed Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles) and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (New Amsterdam, Virtuality). The third sibling, the smart and impish dwarf, Tyrion will be played by Peter Dinklage (recently seen in Nip/Tuck and 30 Rock).

I think each one of these castings is pretty much a slam dunk. Headey is a great actress and I think she’ll do a fine job as the seriously nasty Queen Cersei, probably the most important role, in my opinion. Martin himself declared Dinklage to be the “dream casting” for the role.

I know that it’s a little crazy to be getting this excited about a show when the pilot hasn’t even filmed yet, but if you’ve read the books you know the awesome potential that this show could have. If you haven’t read the books, maybe the prospect of this show will get you to go check them out. At least you have time to get through the long, dense novels before the series hits the air.

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I’ve been mulling this post for a while, but all of this Defying Gravity business finally broke my indecisiveness. The good ole Cancellation Watch is one of my favorite fall pastimes. This year, there are some pretty good candidates. As you’ll see after the jump, a lot of the team are hating on the NBC medical shows I’m actually looking forward to. Sitcoms, too, seem to take a beating.

What do I think? I’m not seeing a big future for FOX’s Brothers … CCH Pounder, what were you thinking? If not Brothers, then I’m thinking The Forgotten. I just don’t think Slater’s late addition to the cast is going to be enough.

Keith: “I’m going with: Hank, Accidentally on Purpose, Mercy, or Trauma. Brothers is also a good bet. I’d narrow it down to Mercy or Trauma, seeing as they are on the same network and I just can’t imagine them both succeeding … can they?”

Deb: “Accidentally on Purpose is really, really bad, but will probably hang on a bit because of its time slot. I’m going with Mercy, although don’t overlook ABC because they have a reputation! Will Defying Gravity count, because it will probably be that.”

Rich: “I can see Mercy going because it’s such a fish out of water on NBC. I can’t remember the last time the network had a character-driven drama. Hank would be my second choice since traditional sitcoms no longer work on any networks other than CBS.”

Jason: “I think it looks grim for Hank and Accidentally on Purpose. Three Rivers perhaps. [A show about] Organ donors is a bit odd.”

Brett: “I wouldn’t give too much weight to the time slot for Accidentally On Purpose. For one, Jenna Elfman was gifted with the cushy CBS time slot before, with Courting Alex. How did that work out?  Furthermore, I think the CBS 8-9 hour is going to be down year to year, because How I Met Your Mother won’t be as strong at 8 as Big Bang Theory was. With House and DWTS in the mix, the best hope is for third in the hour. But if Heroes has anything at all left, it could at least knock AOP to 4th in the demo, if not overall. It’s not unheard of (Courting Alex, Out Of Practice) for CBS to drop the hammer quickly on Monday night. If it’s not canceled, perhaps shifted to Wednesday to burn off the ordered episodes with Gary or Christine filling it, or Rules making an early return.

That said, Trauma is my pick for first to be axed. Following Heroes hasn’t worked out well for anyone recently. Given the increased competition that Trauma faces, with DWTS, Lie To Me, Men/Big Bang, is there any reason to think it can do better than My Own Worst Enemy did?”

Julia: “I would just like to re-assert that all of y’all are cynics. I want to know what the sleeper smash hit will be (besides, obviously, Glee. That’s not exactly news). My guess is Modern Family.”

What do you think?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

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Multiple media outlets, starting with, as far as I can tell, aceshowbiz.com, have reported that Defying Gravity has been canceled. The show, as Brett has continued to make fun of me for report, has not done well in the ratings, quickly losing the 3.88 million or so viewers it had on its premiere. In light of that, I don’t really fault ABC for its decision (unofficial as it is at this point) to axe the show, but what I’m most curious about was the choice to pick up the show in the first place, and when they scheduled it for.

I’ve got to ask first, however, why hasn’t ABC chimed in on this? Apparently the teasers and previews for last night’s airings were tagged with Series Finale (I didn’t watch it live, so I’m not sure myself). Plus,  TVbytheNumbers reported that tonight has been the last scheduled airing for a couple of weeks now. So, what gives, ABC? Can you throw us a bone and let us know for sure what’s going on?

Second, its been pointed out that ABC might not necessarily be the best home for Gravity in the US. I wouldn’t disagree with that sentiment at all. SyFy is obviously a much better home for the show, and I’m sure it was in their price range, too. Heck, even ABC Family is a better home for it than ABC (Well, except for the drinking … and the sex … and the sex while drinking…. Come to think of it, maybe not so much ABC Family).

Finally, why the hell did it start so late in the summer? Eight episodes ran in eight weeks, but there is only one weekend left before ABC starts up their fall programing on Sundays. How did they expect to air all thirteen episodes in that time period? (Short answer? They didn’t, is my guess).

There’s still a nice opportunity to complete the final five episodes on Hulu each week. What few fans DG had were fairly loyal, if the response to our coverage and a quick Twitter search are any indication (I’m not in college anymore, but I do recognize that’s not exactly scientific proof), so I think they might be able to pull through some decent online traffic if they did so. Plus it would give me an opportunity to continue to cover it here, and see if I can make it through the whole season before anyone catches onto the references in each of the post titles.

Update: Hold your horses … The Futon Critic is reporting that Defying Gravity isn’t dead yet, and that ABC is still “mulling scheduling options going forward.” Which, as Kona pointed out to me, may just be code for “not canceled yet.” (Thanks to Modwild for the heads up)

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Looking over the list of returning shows coming back this month got me thinking. I realized something very peculiar: none of my favorite shows are starting back up again this month. Is this just me? Or is this just another sign that the traditional TV “season” of years past just doesn’t hold up anymore? Sure, there are a bunch of new shows coming out that I have high hopes for, but when it comes to the shows that I consider my personal favorites, they are nowhere to be seen. Heck, the thing I’m looking forward to most is the final season of Lost, and that doesn’t even start until next year.

Let’s run down the list quickly. Mad Men started last month, so that doesn’t count. 30 Rock is being pushed off to October, as it was last year. Lost doesn’t return until 2010. Ditto Breaking Bad (which I think may be the best show on TV) and Damages. Heck, even some of the new shows that I’m looking forward to (V and Parenthood) aren’t starting until later in the year.

I think for me, this is really a testament to the quality of programming on cable these days. Most of my favorite shows aren’t on network television anymore, and the cable “season” doesn’t really have a beginning or end. I wish it were a little more solidified than it is, because I don’t have the foggiest idea of when Breaking Bad or Damages are returning, but I know it’s not for a while.

Am I alone here with my quirky viewing habits? I mean, there has to be more people like me out there that just don’t like watching reality or procedurals. It seems like finding programs that don’t fall under either of these categories is getting harder and harder, which is why I am hoping that the many promising new comedies this season (Modern Family, Community, Cougar Town), bring back the sitcom genre from the depths to which it has sunk. I know I’m looking forward to some of the non-procedural dramas that are starting up too, including FlashForward and, with a much more wary eye, The Vampire Diaries and Eastwick (out of curiosity more than anything else).

Maybe I’m more excited about this season than I thought.

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Highlights

• Jason Bateman goes Inside the Actors Studio tonight. Since Arrested Development, this straight man has seen a well deserved career resurgence. (8pm, Bravo)
• Go inside the all too sobering reality of modern America with the factory workers at a GM plant in Ohio, as they prepare to close the plant, on The Last Truck: The Closing of a GM Plant. (9pm, HBO)
• ION gets into original programming — sort of — with this import from Canada: Durham County. After his partner is killed, Mike Sweeney heads to a quiet suburb with his family. Unfortunately, it proves not so easy to get away from, as Mike begins to suspect his new neighbor of the murder, as well as the deaths of two teenage girls. (10pm)
• You know, all the late night talk shows are in repeats right now except for Craig Ferguson. Check out The Late Late Show in HD! Tonight, he’s got Juliette Lewis, and Alex O’Loughlin. Oh, and did I mention he’s the best late-night host on television? (12:30am, CBS)

Premieres & Specials

• Go inside the world of the “Manson Family,” as The History Channel offers a 2 hour exploration of the Tate-LaBianca murders, with Manson. (9pm)
• It’s the reunion special of Dance Your Ass Off. See if the contestants have continued to lose weight after their stints on the show. Learn more about them. Support this, and they might make another season. It’ll be on you! (10pm, Oxygen)

Finales

• ABC Family says goodbye — for now — to The Secret Life of the American Teenager, with Anne going into labor! (8pm)
• One of the more bizarre ailments, chronic burping, is explored in the 6th season finale of Mystery Diagnosis. Some people don’t believe it’s real, but if you’ve ever been stuck with the hiccups, then you can imagine how frustrating that would be. (10pm, Health)

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Highlights of the Week

• Rescue Me totally redeemed itself in this, its longest season ever. After 22 solid episodes, where we saw the Gavin clan fall completely off the wagon. Is Teddy’s wife a goner? And what about Janet/Sheila/Tommy? That can’t end well. (Tue. 10pm, FX)
• With the fall season fast approaching, FOX is hedging their bets that So You Think You Can Dance will perform as well there as it does in the summer. To get you pumped up, this week they’re offering “The Best Of…” (Wed. 8pm, FOX)
• Season 3/Chapter 5 of Greek kicks off this week by bringing us “The Day After.” Casey’s rejected, Max is gone and what’s Rusty to do? (Mon. 9pm, ABC Family)
• HBO’s new comedy, Bored to Death, actually looks pretty good. It’s about a writer who becomes a P.I. and stars Jason Schwartzman, Ted Danson and Zach Galifianakis. The cast is enough for me to check it out. This week, they’re sneak-peeking it with a “Making Of” special. (Tue. 10:45pm)
• The story of Ruby’s weight-loss journey has inspired millions. This week, we say goodbye to her second season as she speaks at a summer weight-loss camp for kids. Her finale is followed by Too Fat for 15, which looks at a kid struggling at 450 pounds. (Sun. 8pm, Style)

Premieres & Specials

• It’s “Country’s Night to Rock” Monday when ABC brings you the CMA: Music Festival. And by Rock, they apparently mean Kid Rock who features all over this, along with Brad Paisley, Taylor Swift, Sugarland and more. (Mon. 7pm, ABC)
• If you want more country, Alan Jackson brings his musical stylings to a concert on the water … literally. Aquapalooza on Lake Martin has the singer performing to thousands of fans in boats. (Fri. 8pm, CMT)
• CBS offers a sneak peek at their fall lineup to help you with your channel shopping come September. (Wed. 8:30pm)
• As we approach the anniversary of September 11, WE brings us a documentary featuring six stories of people United by 9/11 in different ways. (Wed. 10pm)
• The Travel Channel takes to the road again with Andrew Zimmerman’s Bizarre World. In the premiere he heads to Cuba to show us it’s more than a place people get in homemade boats to get away from. (Tue. 10pm)
• Football this week brings you Vikings @ Texans (Mon. 8pm, ESPN), .
• But that’s not all, as ABC kicks off the new season of Saturday Night College Football with Alabama vs. Virginia Tech. (Sat. 8pm, ABC)

Finales

• Weeds wraps its fifth season with with Nancy scrambling to cover her ass after she learns of Esteban’s fate. (Mon. 10pm, Showtime)
• The good news is that some of the contestants actually lost weight. The bad news is everything else. Well, there is one more bit of good news. Dance Your Ass Off! is over. (Mon, 10pm, Oxygen)
• Also bidding us a fond adieu this week are The T.O. Show (Mon. 10pm, VH1), You Are What You Eat (Tue. 8pm, BBC America), Into the Pride (Thu. 8pm, Animal Planet), American Loggers (Thu. 9pm, Discovery), Friday Night With Jonathan Ross (Fri. 9pm, BBC America), The Bill Engvall Show (Sat. 9:30pm, TBS), Homeland Security USA (Sun. 5pm, ABC),

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It’s almost that time. Season premieres are right around the corner. With that in mind, it’s time to start thinking about just what all of those scheduling shenanigans are going to mean for the new season. It will be easy to look back on it all around Thanksgiving and say, “Yep, they puked on their shoes there.” But isn’t it more fun to say it before any episodes even air? A little first guessing, if you will. We’ll kick things off with Monday, and hit all the nights over the course of this week. Get your picks in now, so when the numbers are in for November sweeps you can come back and tell us all, “I told you so!” Is Big Bang Theory the new #1 comedy on TV? Can How I Met Your Mother really lead off the night? Will viewers come back to Heroes?

There are a lot of interesting things going on with the Monday schedule this year. Starting at 8, I think we can just ignore Dancing With The Stars. I see no reason to believe that it’s not going to get its usual numbers. I would look for it to be the most watched show, while trailing House in the demo. The more interesting bits are on CBS and NBC.

If the team down at Heroes HQ thought they had it tough last year, wait until they run into the buzzsaw that is Dr. House. It could spell an unfortunate end for the show. Oddly enough, based on what we know now, it could end up that Heroes is back on top creatively (the circus, Rob Knepper, etc.), but falters based on past actions. Will anyone come back to the show with so many other options? I think not, and expect it to ultimately fall short of the numbers from last season.

Over at CBS, the move of Big Bang Theory to 9:30 is a great thing. That is, a great thing for Big Bang Theory, but I’m not so sure it’s the best thing for CBS. The last few weeks have been very interesting as BBT has actually started beating 2 ½ Men in the demo. That points to the very real possibility that we could finally have a new #1 comedy after all of those years with Charlie and Alan at the top. The outlook isn’t quite as bright for How I Met Your Mother, or by extension, Accidentally On Purpose. I’m still not convinced that How I Met Your Mother can deliver the CBS Monday kind of numbers all on its own. And with AOP, I’m not so sure that Jenna Elfman can carry a show. My best guess is that the numbers are down for the CBS 8-9 hour.

At 9, CBS will rule. DWTS will make some noise in viewer numbers, but be handled easily in the demo by the Men/Big Bang combination. The outlook for Trauma isn’t good. The Heroes audience has eroded to a point that it’s not going to deliver a great lead-in. And building an audience from scratch while facing down three of the top ten shows on TV is a tall order. Lie To Me, on the other hand, is sitting pretty good. FOX did damage the show with the ridiculous move to 8:00 in the spring, but it should do well tucked in behind House.

At 10:00, there’s no real question at #1. Horatio and the gang at CSI: Miami will take this one in a cakewalk. The more interesting battle will be between Castle and Jay Leno. Nobody really has any idea what Leno’s numbers are going to look like. I would expect them to start out solid, and tail off as we get into the season. The novelty of Leno at 10 will be good for a couple weeks, but it’s ultimately going to come out below what the network was doing with scripted material there. It just remains to be seen whether or not the network can make enough money with the cheaper to produce Leno hour to keep at it. In the long run, I think Castle will outlast Jay and take the second spot. Not that 2nd guarantees anything. There are certain expectations that come from following DWTS.

I left the CW out of the main time period discussion, because the audience is so small that I don’t see it really having an effect on the overall picture. The swapping of One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl is interesting though. Gossip Girl did suffer a noticeable drop when House entered the Monday picture last season. I suppose this could be seen as a test to see if the One Tree Hill viewers are more loyal than the Gossip Girl fans. Or, it could just be that the end is near for One Tree Hill and the network is doing what it can to protect the future. I think it will work, and this is the best case scenario for Gossip Girl. Look for it to improve over the numbers from the end of last season.

What do you think? Big Bang #1? Is Heroes back? Can HIMYM do Big Bang numbers at 8?

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Even though summer is coming to a close, it’s a fun time of year because all the new and returning fall shows are coming up. I’m so-so on some and downright excited about others. In this week’s See Jane Clack, let’s take a look at a few shows I’m looking forward to:

Gossip Girl (season 3 premieres Sept. 14). I just finished watching season two, so all the sex and Prada is fresh in my mind. Will the gang grow up and be adults now that they’re in college? And just how much gay time will we see out of Chuck Bass? And does that pretty much ditch the idea that he and Blair will ever get together permanently?

House (season 6 premieres Sept. 21). It’s no secret that the cranky doc has been in his own sort of hell for, well, forever. But now that he’s taken up residence in a mental hospital, just how will that affect his outlook and interpersonal relations? I’m sort of hoping his people skills don’t get any better. It just wouldn’t be the same.

Grey’s Anatomy (season 6 premieres Sept. 24). It will be sad to see George go, but I’m sure his passing will spark all kinds of new drama for the dysfunctional docs. I’m hoping to see more of Dr. McBadass (Owen Hunt) this season. Much more. I hope they don’t spend too much time with his post traumatic stress disorder, though. I like seeing him bark at people and sew up his own wounds.

Private Practice (season 3 premieres Oct. 1). Holy cripes, I’ve been wondering how the heck Violet is going to get out of this one. When last we left her, an unstable patient had a knife poised over Violet’s belly, ready to cut the baby out and run away with it. Definite shark-jumping there, but it made me think about the show all summer.

The Office (season 6 premieres Sept. 17). Pam and Jim! Jim and Pam! I can’t wait to see things progress with the baby! I’m sure it’ll provide lots of new fodder for the quirky office mates to chew on.

Fringe (season 2 premieres Sept. 17). First of all, I’m giddy over the fact that we don’t have to wait ’til January to get our Walter Bishop fix. I don’t know if that was ever the plan, but it just seems like Fox has a trend of premiering new shows after the first of the year. And I can’t wait to find out what happens with the whole parallel universe thing. Are the characters we’ve grown to love  — Walter, Peter, Olivia, et al — in the “real” world? Or is the “other” world the real one? Did Walter bring Peter back to this universe after his “real” son died? And did Olivia travel to the other universe after meeting with William Bell (Leonard Nimoy) at the end of last season? It’s enough to make your head spin.

The Biggest Loser (season 8 premieres Sept. 15). I just saw a preview of this, and they’re going to have the biggest contestant ever to appear on the show — a female weighing in at 476 lbs. First of all, major kudos to this gal for just throwing it all out there and putting herself in the public eye. That must be some kind of hell, but hopefully, she’ll transform her life and be a big inspiration to everyone else trying to lose weight. You go, girl! We’re pullin’ for ya!

New shows I’m gleeful about: Glee (Sept. 9), The Vampire Diaries (Sept. 10), Community (Sept. 17), Bored to Death (Sept. 20).

Check out CliqueClack’s guide to the 2009-2010 fall season.

What new or returning shows are you looking forward to this fall?

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To subscribe to the below schedule in iCal, copy this link and paste into the ‘Subscribe…’ menu item in iCal. You can also just click it to open iCal or even click to add to your iPhone calendar. The same link will work in a Google Calendar as well! Or see the calendar as a web page (also embedded at the bottom here). The calendar will update as new shows are added/changed and with links to our reviews as we publish them.

Welcome to CliqueClack’s guide for the 2009-10 fall season! Or, in the case of NBC, The Great Experiment. Now, if you didn’t realize it already, this fall season is going to be different from past years. First, there’s no ER, which will feel a little weird. Second, Lost will be ending its run in the spring of 2010. Third, American Idol will be without Paula Abdul. And finally, Jay Leno is going to come into your homes at 10 PM each night and try to convince you that scripted programming is dead.

Once this season pans out, that may or may not be the case on the big Four and a Quarter networks. With so many viewers moving to other venues of original, scripted programming like cable and the Internet, the networks are fighting for life … again. Well, NBC and ABC probably are: CBS and FOX are doing okay for the time being. So, the big question is whether or not they can come back with ambitious programs like Flash Forward, comedies like Hank and The Middle, which feature known stars, remakes like Parenthood and Melrose Place, and Chevy Chase?

Only time and ratings will tell. In the meantime, CliqueClack TV is here to present you with the most comprehensive premiere schedule on the Internet.  Something that you will come back to time and time again to peruse in order to plan your day. Just be aware that dates and times of these premieres may change at the whim of a network executive with too much gas. Now, without further typing…

Guide Notes:

New series premieres in bold italic

* – denotes new time/day

? – asks why the f%*&k this show is still on the air

September

To Be Determined

3:00 and 4:00 The Tyra Banks Show(CW) – Season 4 premiere. First on CW. Airdate to be determined.

Monday, September 7th

Dinosaur Train (PBS) – Check local listings for times.

Electric Company (PBS) – Check local listings for times.

10:00 Durham County (ION) – The network’s first original drama

Tuesday, September 8th

8:00 90210 (CW) – Season 2 premiere

9:00 Melrose Place (CW) – Coming next season, remakes of Booker and The Heights.

10:00 Sons of Anarchy (FX) – Season 2 premiere

Wednesday, September 9th

8:00 America’s Next Top Model (CW) – Season 13 premiere

8:00 So You Think You Can Dance (FOX) - Season 6 premiere

9:00 Glee (FOX) - A feel-good show on FOX?  Nah, can’t be! (here’s our preview of Glee’s return)

9:00 Inside the NFL (Showtime)

10:00 Destination Truth (SyFy) – Season 3 premiere

Thursday, September 10th

8:00 The Vampire Diaries (CW)

9:00 Supernatural (CW) – Season 5 premiere

Friday, September 11th

10:00 20/20 (ABC)

Saturday, September 12th

8:00 COPS (FOX) – Season 20 premiere. Coming up this season — the 700th episode!

9:00 Robin Hood (BBC America) – Season 2 premiere

9:00 America’s Most Wanted (FOX) – Season 23 premiere

Sunday, September 13th

7:00 Football Night in America (NBC)

8:15 NBC Sunday Night Football (NBC)

Monday, September 14th

Dr. Phil (Syndicated) – Season 8 premiere. Check local listings for times.

Oprah (Syndicated) – Season 24 premiere. Check local listing for times.

The Rachel Ray Show (Syndicated) – Check local listings for times.

8:00 Lincoln Heights (ABC Family) – Season 4 premiere

8:00 One Tree Hill (CW) – Season 7 premiere

9:00 Gossip Girl (CW) – Season 3 premiere

10:00 The Jay Leno Show (NBC) – The start of The Great Experiment. Guest stars for the premiere include Jay Z, Kayne West, Rhianna, and Jerry Seinfeld.

Tuesday, September 15th

8:00 The Biggest Loser (NBC) – Weekly shows from 8-10 pm, followed by Jay Leno’s show. Yes, this is the new face of NBC.

Wednesday, September 16th

9:00 The Beautiful Life (CW)

Thursday, September 17th

8:00 Survivor: Samoa (CBS) – 19th season premiere

8:00 Bones (FOX) – Season five premiere. Here’s hoping Booth recovers from his coma.

9:30 Thursday Night Live (NBC) – Season 2 premiere. Not too sure what they’re going to talk about now that the election is over.

8:30 Parks and Recreation (NBC) – Season 2 premiere

9:00 Fringe* (FOX) – Season 2 premiere

9:00 The Office (NBC) – Season 6 premiere.

9:30 Community (NBC) – Chevy Chase returns to TV, and not in a talk show format! (Here’s a Guest Clack post about the show)

10:00 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX) – Season 5 premiere

Friday, September 18th

10:00 Crash (STARZ) – Season 2 premiere

Sunday, September 20th

9:00 Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO) – Season 7 premiere

10:45 Bored to Death (HBO)

Monday, September 21st

8:00 Dancing With the Stars (ABC) – Season 9 premiere. And … Donny Osmond!

8:00 How I Met Your Mother* (CBS) – Season … wait for it … 5 premiere.

8:00 House (FOX) – Season 6 premiere. Will House get out of the looney bin? Only a two-hour episode will tell.

8:00 Heroes (NBC) – Two-hour, season 4 premiere

8:30 Accidentally on Purpose (CBS)

9:00 Two and a Half Men (CBS) – Season 7 premiere

9:30 Big Bang Theory* (CBS) – Season 3 premiere

10:00 Castle (ABC) – Season 2 premiere

10:00 CSI: Miami (CBS) – Season 8 premiere

10:00 Madventures (Travel) – An actual travel show on the Travel Channel? Get out!

Tuesday, September 22nd

8:00 NCIS (CBS) – Season 7 premiere

9:00 NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)

10:00 The Forgotten (ABC)

10:00 The Good Wife (CBS) – The return of Julianna Margulies

10:00 The Naughty Kitchen With Chef Blythe Beck (Oxygen) – And you can all get your minds out of the gutter with that title.

Wednesday, September 23rd

8:00 The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS) – Season 5 premiere

8:00 Mercy (NBC) – It might be me, but this show really belongs on Lifetime. (Here’s our preview post on the show.)

8:30 Gary Unmarried (CBS) – Season 2 premiere. Hey, the show isn’t half-bad!

9:00 Criminal Minds (CBS) – Season 5 premiere

9:00 Law & Order: SVU* (NBC) – Season 11 premiere.

9:00 Modern Family (ABC) – All-star cast, including Ed O’Neil and Julie Bowen, give this comedy a chance (Check out our preview post on this show.)

9:30 Cougar Town (ABC) – Courtney Cox’s new comedy. (Check out our preview post on this show.)

10:00 Eastwick (ABC) (Check out our post about this show.)

10:00 CSI: NY (CBS) – Season 6 premiere

Thursday, September 24th

8:00 Flash Forward (ABC) – Another series full of mysteries. How long before people’s heads begin to explode? (Check out our review of the pilot script and preview of the pilot episode.)

9:00 Grey’s Anatomy (ABC) – Season 6 premiere

9:00 CSI (CBS) – Season 10 premiere

10:00 The Mentalist* (CBS) – Season 2 premiere

Friday, September 25th

8:00 Ghost Whisperer (CBS) – Season 5 premiere

8:00 Smallville (CW) – Season 9 premiere

8:00 Brothers (FOX) – One-hour series premiere.

8:00 Law & Order* (NBC) – Season 20(!) premiere. And, maybe its last.

9:00 Medium (CBS) – Season 6 premiere (1st season premiere on CBS)

9:00 Dollhouse (FOX) – Season 2 premiere. Yes, I’m being serious!

10:00 Numb3rs (CBS) – Season 6 premiere

Saturday, September 26th

10:00 48 Hours Mystery (CBS) – Because there isn’t enough crime on the CBS schedule.

11:30 Saturday Night Live (NBC) – Season 35, which may have been about 15 seasons too long. Allegedly, Megan Fox will be host. So, if the show sucks, at least we can look (leer) admiringly at her.

Sunday, September 27th

7:00 Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC) – Season 10 premiere. Prepare for tissue stocks to skyrocket.

7:00 60 Minutes (CBS) – The whopping 42nd season premiere.

8:00 The Amazing Race (CBS) – 15th season premiere

8:00 The Simpsons (FOX) – The big 2-0 for this long-running animated comedy.

8:30 The Cleveland Show (FOX) – After a year of promotion this show finally gets its chance.

9:00 Desperate Housewives (ABC) – Season 6 premiere

9:00 Family Guy (FOX) – Season 8 premiere, which is supposed to be their Empire Strikes Back parody. But, it’s only a half hour. Hmm…

9:00 Dexter (Showtime) – Season 4 premiere.

9:30 American Dad (FOX) – This fifth season(!) premiere ends the first week of “Seth Sunday” on FOX.

10:00 Brothers & Sisters (ABC) – Season 4 premiere

10:00 Cold Case (CBS) – Season 7 premiere

10:00 Californication (Showtime) – Season 3 premiere

Monday, September 28th

8:00 Lie to Me* (FOX) – Season two premiere

9:00 Trauma (NBC) – ER with more explosions. (Here’s our preview post on the show.)

Tuesday, September 29th

8:00 Shark Tank (ABC) – The press release says “in-season premiere,” which means it’s either a continuation of the summer run or the beginning of season two.

9:00 Dancing With the Stars the Results Show (ABC)

10:00 The Hills (MTV) – Season 5 premiere

Wednesday, September 30th

8:00 Hank (ABC) – Kelsey Grammer’s new sitcom

8:30 The Middle (ABC) – Patricia Heaton’s new comedy

October

To Be Determined

3:00 Let’s Make a Deal (CBS) – Hosted by Wayne Brady

Thursday, October 1st

10:00 Private Practice (ABC) – Season 3 premiere

Friday, October 2nd

8:00 Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon) – Season 2 premiere

8:30 ‘Til Death* (FOX) – Season 4 premiere. Though, I have a feeling they’ll be burning off a number of season three episodes as well.

9:00 Stargate Universe (SyFy) – Eh, I don’t know about this one.

Sunday, October 4th

7:00 America’s Funniest Home Videos (ABC) – Holy frak! This is the show’s 20th season. I wonder if Bob Saget will make a cameo.

9:00 Three Rivers (CBS) – The return of Alex O’Loughlin

9:00 The Next Iron Chef (Food)

Monday, October 5th

7:00 Sherri (Lifetime)

7:30 Rita Rocks (Lifetime) – Season two premiere

Wednesday, October 6th

9:00 Scare Tactics (SyFy) – Season 2 premiere

Thursday, October 7th

10:00 South Park (Comedy Central) – Season 13 premiere

Friday, October 8th

10:00  TOSH.0 (Comedy Central) – New episodes from this summer’s premiere.

Friday, October 9th

10:00 Sanctuary (SyFy) – Season 2 premiere

Monday, October 13th

10:00 Disaster House (DIY) – Houses are wrecked to show the wear and tear that are inflicted upon them over the years. Obviously small children that are full of sugar are involved.

Wednesday, October 14th

10:00 Nip/Tuck (FX) – Season 6 premiere

Thursday, October 15th

9:30 30 Rock (NBC) – Season 4 premiere. And you thought Studio 60 would have been the show that came out the winner.

Friday, October 16th

8:00 Supernanny (ABC) – Oy!

8:00 Ugly Betty* (ABC) – Two-hour, season 4 premiere

Sunday, October 18th

8:00 Occupation (BBC America) – American release

11:00 The Venture Bros. (Cartoon) – Season premiere

Friday, October 23rd

9:00 Southland* (NBC) – Season 2 premiere.

10:00 White Collar (USA Network) – Tiffany Theisen!

Wednesday, October 28th

Friday Night Lights (DirecTV) – Season 4 premiere

November

Tuesday, November 3rd

8:00 V (ABC) – Yet another remake on the fall schedule (Here’s our preview post about the show.)

Saturday, November 7th

11:00 The Wanda Sykes Show (FOX)

Monday, November 9th

11:00 Lopez Tonight (TBS) – Another weeknight talkshow

Midseason Premieres

• 24 (FOX)
• American Idol (FOX) – The Paula Abdul-less version
• Better off Ted (ABC)
• Blonde Charity Mafia (CW)
• Caprica(SyFy)
• Chuck (NBC) – Yeah!
• Day One (NBC)
• Human Target (FOX)
• Lost (ABC) – Last. Season. Ever!
• Life Unexpected (CW)
• Parenthood (NBC)
• Scrubs (ABC) – Or, Scrubs 2.0

Related posts

• Ratings Clack – V gets off to a great start
• Ratings Clack – Where is FlashForward headed?
• Ratings Clack – Favre and Baseball create havoc

Highlights of the Week

• There was a time when I was a huge fan of the WWF/E. It was Andre the Giant and George “The Animal” Steele back then, though I kept up through the early days of Steve Austin and the Undertaker. I still keep some awareness of the soap opera there. And considering I watched the first several, it makes me feel old that we’re celebrating The 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania. (Sat. 9pm, NBC)
• It’s always sad when the boys say goodbye to another season of Penn & Teller: Bullshit! It’s the best combination of entertainment and information that you’ll see. And I’m sure there’ll be absolutely nothing controversial about the magicians tackling the Vatican in this finale. (Thu. 10pm, Showtime)
• I’m glad to see that Royal Pains will be back, as it turned into a great summer getaway to the Hamptons. Sadly, it’s back to the real world for the rest of us as it wraps its first season. (Thu. 10pm, USA)
• Some of the best television of the summer has been coming to us from the UK. This week wraps the too short first season of Being Human; the story of a ghost, vampire and werewolf trying to live like normal people. (Sat. 9pm, BBC America)
• The movies brought the show back. Futurama: Into the Wild GreenYonder is the last of those movies, making it’s debut on Comedy Central. Sit back, enjoy and think about the beautiful Futurama to come. (Sun. 9pm)

Premieres & Specials

• Orlando Jones and Dan Cortese join forces to host ABC’s Crash Course, the reality show that puts you in the driver’s seat. No, really. The show puts pairs of people with a pre-existing relationship onto an “extreme” course and they race to the finish line. What could go wrong, aside from exploding cars, death and dismemberment? (Wed. 9pm)
• The Discovery Channel is promising a whole new perspective on one of the most studied civilizations of the ancient world in Out of Egypt, airing two installments back-to-back. (Mon. 9pm)
• I’m not sure how they managed to pull a whole series out of this, but if you’re fascinated with tattoos, their history and significance then you’ll not want to miss the premiere of Marked. (Thu. 9pm, History)
• MTV tackles the world of viral videos with Pranked, looking at the best pranks by regular people caught on film. (Thu. 10:30pm)
• Sunday’s a big night for The CW. Things kick off with The Tyra Show’s Top Ten Moments. Then check out The CW Fall 2009 Preview Special before you settle in for The 36th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards red carpet show, an then the show itself. (Sun. 6pm)
• Spinning out of Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is, is Frankie & Neffe. The new series chronicles their lives as they move away from Cole to find their own path. (Tue. 10:30pm, BET)
• Football this week: Monday Night Football is Jets at Ravens (8pm, ESPN). We’ve also got Dolphins at Buccaneers (Thu. 8pm, FOX), Patriots at Redskins (Fri. 8pm, CBS) and Chargers at Atlanta (Sat. 8pm, CBS). We’ll wrap the week with Sunday Night Football on NBC with the Bears at the Broncos (8pm).
• But the new doesn’t stop there — we’ve also got The Rachel Zoe Project (Mon. 10pm, Bravo), Rob Drydek’s Fantasy Factory (Thu. 9pm, MTV), Bully Beatdown (Thu. 9:30pm, MTV), Nitro Circus (Thu. 10pm, MTV), and 24/7 Mayweather/Marquez (Sat. 10:15pm, HBO).

Finales

• I enjoyed the ABC experiment Dating in the Dark. It wasn’t the most amazing show ever, but it was interesting to see how much looks did and didn’t impact the connections people might make. It wraps its first, and possibly last, season tonight. (Mon. 9pm)
• Nurse Jackie has generated a lot of buzz for star Edie Falco and Showtime. But it’s also generated some controversy, and vocal detractors. This week, it gives us its first season finale so we can all step back and take a breather. (Mon. 10:30pm)
• So, um, The Great American Road Trip is ending tonight. What a trainwreck this show turned out to be. But it’s NBC, so it might be back next summer anyway. (Mon. 8pm)
• What’s the deal with “finales” in the middle of a season these days? Why the long hiatus in the middle of a run? Summer finales are on tap for The Closer (Mon. 9pm, TNT), Make It or Break It (Mon. 9pm, ABC Family) and Raising the Bar (Mon. 10pm, TNT).
• You’re gonna wanna grab your hankie if you’re fans of these shows as they say goodbye: Cake Boss (Mon. 10pm, TLC), Tiny & Toya (Tue. 10pm, BET), Monsterquest (Wed. 9pm, History), Michael & Michael Have Issues (Wed, 10:30pm, Comedy Central), and I Survived… (Sun. 9pm, Biography).

Related posts

• Ratings Clack – True Blood can’t be stopped
• Ratings Clack – An alternative to Nielsen?
• Ratings Clack – Michael Westen bested by iCarly?

• For those of you who missed last night’s premiere of Top Chef: Las Vegas (clocking in at a mind-boggling hour and fifteen minutes long), you can catch it tonight on Bravo at 7:45.
• Starting at 8, NBC has its two-hour block of 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, and The Office. They’re all great, but I especially love this episode of Parks and Rec, “Boys Club.”
• At 9:30, you can catch the premiere of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, and see what all the fuss is about.
• At 10, AJ Soprano, AKA Robert Iler, guest-stars on this episode of Law & Order, about the murder of a man who owns a trucking company.
• Also at 10, back-to-back episodes of Entourage: “Fore!” with Tom Brady, and “Murphy’s Lie,” with another Sopranos alum, Jamie Lynn-Sigler.

Make sure you subscribe to our mailing list to get daily updates on what’s notable and new on TV, and follow us on Twitter for more of the same and other news!

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I know that your TV schedule is full with the special Octomom: Unseen Footage airing tonight on FOX. However, if for some crazy reason you aren’t planning on watching this train wreck, there are plenty of repeats to keep you occupied:

• CBS has their familiar summer lineup again tonight: Old Christine, Gary Unmarried, Criminal Minds, and CSI:NY.
• ABC has a repeat of Wipeout on at 9. The face-plants really are just as funny the second time around.
• NBC has a couple episodes of America’s Got Talent, before a repeat of Law and Order: SVU featuring Ellen Burstyn at 10. Kona thought the episode was “insane.”
• There are two encore presentations of America’s Next Top Model on The CW.
• TNT has a repeat of Bones from this season, before an all new Leverage. Rich may have thought it was “dull, dull, dull,” but you could give it a watch anyhow.
• USA has a night full of NCIS, if you’re into shows with acronyms for titles.

Make sure you subscribe to our mailing list to get daily updates on what’s notable and new on TV, and follow us on Twitter for more of the same and other news!

Related posts

• Wil Wheaton guests on Criminal Minds – Daily Rerun Roundup
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Tonight’s such a dog (both in re-runs and not), that I really had to scrounge for you. Here’s what we got:

• First the goods — HBO2 is airing the past three episodes of Entourage at 8:30. TiVo them while you watch live, and re-watch them again at 10:00, because it’s not getting any better than that.
• Of the four majors, only CBS seems to be airing a repeat tonight (NCIS at 8:00). Too bad that’s not a good thing.
• If two (or three) is better than one, The CW has back-to-back episodes of 90210, while USA Network has three of Law & Order: SVU. Even ION is in on the game, with three repeats of Boston Legal, starting at 8:00…. Hey, that’s an option!
• NBA is airing, get this, something called “Top 20 Games of 2008-2009,” where they give us an hour of highlights per game. Talk about stale offerings.
• Not to be outdone, BIO has it’s ode to Mr. “T” at 8:00, and then “Truth Behind the Sitcom Scandals.” THESE ARE REPEATS, I kid you not.
• You could catch the un-funny stylings of Comedy Central at 8:00, with the 19 millionth replaying of last night’s Daily Show and Colbert Report. You know, for the “news.” But why would you?
• For your money (because I wouldn’t put mine on a night like tonight) I’d go with TBS. Four episodes of Family Guy, followed by two of The Office — “Dwight’s Speech,” and “Take Your Daughter to Work Day.” I love the part in the latter episode that’s on the DVD deleted scenes, where Stanley yells at Ryan for flirting with his teenage daughter. “Have you lost your damn mind?” Yes, Stanley, yes he has.

Make sure you subscribe to our mailing list to get daily updates on what’s notable and new on TV, and follow us on Twitter for more of the same and other news!

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• Dull Bones and Ellen Burstyn – Daily Rerun Roundup
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Highlights of the Week

• Woah, man, like let’s get totally stoned tonight and watch Woodstock: Then & Now. Ever seen a burned out hippie? I have. It’s not pretty. (Mon. 8pm, History)
• The first season of Merlin wraps with a two-hour block starting at 7pm. While it’s been picked up for a second run in native Britain, there’s no word on whether NBC will go again with it. (Sun.)
• I can take him. And while I don’t think we’re going to see Shaq vs. Jason Hughes anytime soon, the series does premiere with the basketball behemoth taking on Ben Roethlisberger. The kick is that Shaq takes them on in their sport, not his. (Tue. 9pm, ABC)
• It’s Invitation Only with Reba McEntire, but don’t worry, CMT has yours so you can check it out. (Fri. 9pm)
• I’ll call this a lowlight of the week … so of course it’s on FOX. Hopefully, they’ll show her for the disaster she is. That’s right, it’s Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage. (Wed. 8pm, FOX)
• Project Runway flexes its muscles on its new home, Lifetime, with a two hour “All Star Challenge” special. That’s followed by the season premiere, so you get three hours for the price of one! (Thu. 8pm)
• But it’s still not over. Lifetime is so stoked, they’re debuting Models of the Runway, which follows the models of Project Runway as they try and make it in the world of high fashion. (Thu. 11pm)

Premieres & Specials

• Nick at Nite continues their foray into original programming with a stop-motion animated series featuring the voice of Kevin Nealon as Glenn Martin, DDS. This daily show will follow Glenn and his family on a family getaway. (M-Th 8pm, Nick at Nite)
• A&E replaces their OCD series with a series focusing on one particular OCD aspect: Hoarders. (Mon. 10pm, A&E)
• Cartoon Network gets in on the web video clip show action with Bobb’e Says. That’s followed by three kids who ask Dude, What Would Happen if we did this, and then find out. Note that neither one of these are cartoons. (Wed. 8-9 pm)
• Promising a mixture of interviews and scripted segments, IFC’s The Jon Dore Television Show looks to be a very different type of comedy. The episode title for the premiere sets a unique tone: “Jon seeks to find out if he is fertile after having complications as a child.” Very thorough, that. (Tue. 10pm)
• Know why History Channel’s The Universe is still going into its fourth season? Because it’s the freaking universe. That’s infinite possibilities. (Tue. 9pm)
• Does anybody care about these pageants anymore? NBC’s bringing the 2009 Miss Universe pageant. But it’s only girls from Earth. (Sun. 9pm)
• It’s the Carolina Panthers vs. the New York Giants on Monday Night Football. (Mon. 8pm, ESPN) Football action continues on Thursday when the Philadelphia Eagles take on the Indianapolis Colts (8pm, FOX), and then again on Friday with the Tennessee Titans at the Dallas Cowboys (8pm, FOX).
• MTV debuts the real story of a teenage fashion designer with House of Jazmin. (Tue. 10:30pm)
• Couldn’t make it to Hard Rock Calling ‘09 back in June? That’s okay. VH1 is bringing it to you in a two-hour special. (Fri. 9pm)
• Other premieres include Top Gear (Mon. 8pm, BBC America), Flipping Out (Tue. 10pm, Bravo), The Secret Lives of Women (Tue. 10pm, WE), Ghost Hunters (Wed. 9pm, Syfy), Top Chef (Wed. 9pm, Bravo), Black Gold (Wed. 10pm, TruTV), Jockeys (Fri. 10pm, Animal Planet), Making Over America with Trinny & Susannah (Fri. 10pm, TLC), Country Fried Home Videos (Sat. 8pm, CMT), All Jacked Up (Sat. 8:30pm, CMT),

Finales

• Don’t fret, dear ones. HawthoRNe may be gone for awhile after this episode, but it’s already been renewed. (Tue. 9pm, TNT)
• Back for one more year only is Saving Grace, which bows out Tuesday. (10pm, TNT)
• The Reege is relegated back to daytime as the marathon 10th anniversary of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? closes down on Sunday. The ratings were okay, but I’m not sure if it was enough for ABC to bring it back, except for special runs like this from time to time. (8pm)
• Also bidding farewell are Miami Social (Tue. 9pm, Bravo), The Best Thing I Ever Ate (Tue. 9:30pm, Food), The Real Estate Pros (Wed. 7:30pm, TLC), The Nine (Wed. 10pm, DirecTV), Top Chef Masters (Wed. 10:15pm, Bravo), Whale Wars (Fri. 9pm, Animal Planet), Ice Road Truckers (Sun. 9pm, History),

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• As always, CBS starts the evening out with Old Christine and Gary Unmarried. CliqueClack’s good buddy, Wil Wheaton, is featured in tonight’s episode of Criminal Minds (Brett thought he did a great job playing a killer, and Jane interviewed him about the appearance.) The evening finishes up with an episode of CSI: NY.
• FOX is finally showing some repeats on a Wednesday night, with an episode of Bones at 8, followed by Lie To Me.
• NBC has another installment of TV’s Funniest Phrases tonight at 8.
• The CW has two episodes of America’s Next Top Model. I’m guessing that someone cries in one of these episodes.
• USA has a full night of NCIS repeats for your viewing pleasure.

Make sure you subscribe to our mailing list to get daily updates on what’s notable and new on TV, and follow us on Twitter for more of the same and other news!

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My God, when will it end? I can’t take much more of these reruns. Hell, I’m starting to wish for a fresh episode of According to Jim just to get some new material! I. Need. New. Episodes!

• Well, CBS may not have much in the way of new material, but at least they’re reliable. For instance, tonight features a repeat of NCIS, a new Big Brother, and a repeat of Medium; same as the last few weeks. By the way, Kurtwood Smith returns as FBI agent Edward Cooper.
• The CW gives us two hours of 90210. In the first, something happens, then something else happens, then Silver makes some kind of sex tape for class. In the second hour we find out why Silver is acting crazier than Paula Abdul did on an average airing of American Idol.
• NBC gives us a rebroadcast of last Wednesday’s America’s Got Talent, at 8:00 pm. After that, it’s another two hours of AGT. No wonder no one likes the network anymore.
• It’s Science Tuesday on PBS, starting with a rebroadcast of Nova that focuses on the worst airline crash in history — two colliding 747s that killed almost 600 people. Then, at 9:00 pm, Nova ScienceNow focuses on leeches and SETI. So, good times all around.
• Hey, if you happen to still have the waste of bandwidth called My TV, you can catch two episodes of Street Patrol starting at 8:00 pm, followed by Jail at 9:00 pm. If you want to know what these shows are about, please call your cable company. Don’t worry too much if they don’t know what the shows are about, either.

Make sure you subscribe to our mailing list to get daily updates on what’s notable and new on TV, and follow us on Twitter for more of the same and other news!

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Those of you who’ve learned how to play this game are still drunk, or in jail, from the weekend….

• At 8:00, TNT offers up last week’s episode of The Closer, “Identity Theft.”  USA has a familiar NCIS caper, while TBS decides to go with the (kinda) funny stylings of Family Guy. Over on ABC, it’s Who Wants to Be a Millionaire … wait, is that a rerun from 10 years ago, or did they really resuscitate this thing? I was sure Bob was lying. Oh, and you should be tuned to CBS for How I Met Your Mother (”Rebound Bro”) and Rules of Engagement (”Jen at Work”).
• At 9:00, TVOne will still be in the midst of airing about a thousand episodes of Martin. CBS makes you switch channels FAST (Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory are on; run!), The CW tries its hardest to do the same with Gossip Girl (if you were already tuned there for One Tree Hill)…. What to do? Maybe switch to FOX for the second half of Teen Choice 2009, hoping the Jonas Brothers’ and Miley Cyrus’ performance abominations are over already?
• As you can see, I’m not a 12 year-old girl. If you are, CINE has Jonas Brothers: The Concert Experience replaying a lot, another airing beginning at 10:00. Alternately, catch two episodes of My Name is Earl on TBS, or last night’s Army Wives on Lifetime. Otherwise, see Castle, “Little Girl Lost,” on ABC, or … well, you could always go to sleep. Or visit with your kids or spouse (12 year-old girls: hopefully that doesn’t apply to you).

Make sure you subscribe to our mailing list to get daily updates on what’s notable and new on TV, and follow us on Twitter for more of the same and other news!

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