I got the chance to watch the chapter five, or mid-season three finale, of Greek yesterday. It was … interesting. There were some “giant” aspects to it, plots that towered right up there with some of the memorable stuff that they’ve given us thus far. And then there were stories that just didn’t turn out how I’d write them. Isn’t the audience small enough that they could poll us all?

The episode opens a week after the final scene in this past week’s, so there’ll be no Casey pulling back from Cappie in the middle of their kiss and running up the stairs; that night’s over and done. But the episode does, of course, deal with the consequences of the kiss. And boy are there consequences. WARNING: MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD.

Greek also doesn’t forget that my favorite couple, Dale and Rusty, are feuding over a geek science grant. Dale is back for the finale, and the issue that now lies like a gulf between the two friends is at the forefront of things. In the moment I was consumed with other thoughts, but in hindsight the plot put some cold truths about Dale into perspective. And it gave me a Malcolm in the Middle season one flashback.

And in other flashback news, the sorority SongFest competition turns the clock back to the early 1980s for most of the girls, which is before any of them were born. Wow … is that true? I guess so — my sister-in-law is graduating college this coming May, and she was born in 1988.

Anyway, SongFest also puts Casey at a crossroads: does she pick her future over her sisters? And it begs the question: do you get Olesya Rulin’s casting if you barely know what High School Musical means?

The show’s been adding a random pop reference theme to each of its episodes lately (The Goonies and Elmo, for example.) This week’s? I don’t think I’d be ruining anything for you by revealing that it’s Harry Potter. Now that I think about it, the Amphora headquarters does look a bit like potions class….

And in fraternity land, the scribbling the KTs did when breaking into the Omega Kai house during their turkey hunt was not idle defacement of property. Since there’s so much hatred between the two houses, and Cappie and Evan were at odds for so long, I wonder why they haven’t had an ongoing war going between them, as opposed to one-time pranks and fights. That would have made for some fun undercurrent these last few seasons, no?

And don’t think that the Tripp-led Omega Kai rebellion is over just because it had a week off. Evan is still battling to be accepted as he now is by his brothers, and as a result there’s more of that loud-mouth Tripp to be suffered through. But can they really depose Evan? And does he truly believe that his leadership is in danger?

The finale leaves us in some interesting places. Some I’d like to see more of, some I’d like to see ended, but most all places I’m anxious to visit when the show returns in January (I believe). And in the middle of all of that drama? Nerd trash-talking … it’s worth the price of admission.

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It’s been about seven months since we’ve seen a new episode of Battlestar Galactica. Sound like a long time? Well, actually, that’s about the same amount of time we had to wait to see the second half of the fourth season after the first half aired, so for BSG fans, this isn’t new. I’m talking, of course, about the upcoming direct-to-DVD (and online video) release of Battlestar Galactica: The Plan.

An official copy of the DVD arrived on my doorstep yesterday, and despite having a buttload of TV to watch, I couldn’t wait to give it a watch. So, here’s an early review of the movie with little to no spoilers, which is an easy task since there’s really nothing shocking or spoiler-worthy to worry about.

The story of The Plan is essentially all about what was going on with the Cylons throughout the first two seasons of the show (and the mini-series), up through the airlocking of the two copies of Number One (Cavil) on Galactica, in the second season finale. Through the magic of flashbacks, we’re brought back to some of the most pinnacle episodes of the series and how the Cylons all followed Cavil’s orders, or his “plan” — the annihilation of the rest of the surviving humans.

The most interesting aspect of the movie is what we see of some of the lesser-known models from the series, in particular Number Five (Doral), Number Two (Leoben) and, most especially, Number Four (Simon). Of course, we see all of the models throughout the movie, but there is a definite lack of presence from some of them. And I’m not kidding about seeing more about Number Four — he was so underutilized in the series, yet he gets to shine here and really makes for the movie to stand out. The Five, on the other hand, is a great moment of comedy, believe it or not, and I’m sure Cavil’s comments will ring true with more than a few BSG fans.

The movie does an excellent job of showing us just how much of a manipulator and asshole Cavil was to the other Cylons. The sacrifice he makes them go through for the sake of following the plan makes it easy to hate him, doing it so comfortably and while sleeping around with a half-naked Six (yes, half-naked!) and Eight (no, not half-naked). It certainly gives the appearance that, if it wasn’t for Cavil, maybe everyone would just have gotten along without all this “plan” nonsense. He also carries out something so incredibly evil toward the end of the movie that it may make some viewers really uncomfortable and, for everyone, show that he’s simply evil incarnate.

Something else the movie does well is in depicting the devastation of the colonies. In the mini-series, the depiction of Caprica’s destruction and aftermath, while evident, wasn’t all that jaw-dropping. Well, get ready to see the real execution and fallout of not only Caprica’s destruction, but of all the other colonial planets: Gemenon, Picon, Canceron….

Finally, one bit I really liked was seeing what Anders went through on Caprica, from when the bombs fell through when he was finally brought aboard Galactica. Initially he wasn’t the go-to person for his band of rebels on the planet’s surface, so seeing how that dynamic worked out and how it all fit together really worked out well.

One nitpick of mine is with some of the flashbacks. It’s clear that old footage was used along with newly filmed scenes, and after four years, the actors don’t quite look the same. I also wasn’t sure why, when we flashed to each of the final five Cylons, we had to be reminded that they were Cylons by flashing to them in their resurrection pools. Oh, and while there are a few scenes of female nudity, they are only of extras and, for those who like shlong, there’s an uncomfortably, obviously gratuitous close-up of one.

Got any questions you’d like answered about the DVD before you see it yourself? Let me know in the comments. I haven’t even gotten to the special features and commentary, so I may post an update if there’s anything there worth mentioning (the commentary is by Olmos and Espenson). Battlestar Galactica: The Plan comes out on DVD, Blu-ray and digital download on October 27 and, as I hear it, will air on TV on November 1 (but you’ll miss out on all that shower-scene shlong).

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This could end up going one of two ways. Option “A” says USA Network churns out a hit each and every time it goes to bat, specifically because of the tried and true formula applied to every one of its original series. In this scenario, it makes no difference that the network is increasing the amount of new series it produces per year: each one is ratings gold.

Option “B” says with higher quantities comes lower quality. Just look at Leno’s new show for a prime example. The thing is, while I can’t predict the future, I can tell you this after screening the pilot episode: less than six months after premiering Royal Pains, USA Network has done it again with White Collar. NOTE: MINOR SPOILERS MAY LIE AHEAD.

Matthew Bomer plays Neal Caffrey, a white collar (get it?) criminal who’s been in prison for the past four years, courtesy of FBI Agent Peter Burke (Tim DeKay). Caffrey escapes from prison, only to be re-caught by Burke, and then, instead of being sent back to prison immediately, used as a consultant as Burke chases The Dutchman.

Fairly simple, and if it sounds familiar that’s because it’s been done to varying degrees on movies like Catch Me If You Can (some of Caffrey’s clothes may bring that one back, too) and 48 Hrs. But then we come back to what USA Network does best: original characters. Caffrey and Burke are great as a mismatched pair, even if Neal’s on somewhat unequal footing in the partnership. And not just as criminal to fed … I think Bomer may have been struggling at times to get it just right, “it” being a combination of arrogance, subservience, ego, gratitude, intellect, and a man out of his depth that his character must portray. Burke also needs to appear slightly more grizzled than Caffrey, and I think Bomer was making up the difference by decompensating, instead of the other way around.

But that being something that will likely iron itself out by episode two, I have no doubt that Caffrey and Burke will remind you, as they did me, of a certain other set of mismatched fellows: our Psych boys. Speaking of which, to give you network fans a quick rundown of White Collar: think the camaraderie of Psych, mixed with the law enforcement of In Plain Sight, and a dash of the creative nature of Michael’s problem-solving on Burn Notice. Put it all together, and “you have no idea how high [it] can fly” (Michael Scott, The Office).

Caffrey can also seem a bit slapsticky at times, but I think that might be the devil-may-care in him. Besides, who (Shawn) isn’t like that? Anyway, the series rounds out nicely with what are for the most part some interesting characters (there it is again!). Neal’s love, Kate (Alexandra Daddario), has little role in the pilot, but will clearly be a factor in his life going forward. It’s unclear just what it is that’s going on there. June (Diahann Carroll) and Cindy (Denise Vasi) appear ready to play landlord (former) and bedmate (latter) to Neal, although my guess is that both will appear on an infrequent basis. I imagine that June could develop into a story of her own (as a confidant to Neal OR Peter, or in reference to an allusion she makes to her late husband), but it’s not definitive that she will, at least as far as I can tell.

At work, the third member of the team is Diana (Marsha Thomason), Probie extraordinaire. Where I didn’t like her as mysterious on Lost, or a bit slimy on Make It or Break It, I found Thomason to be quite good in this role. She even looks younger, making her more believable as a rookie in Burke’s unit. That was some good casting. His wife Elizabeth (Tiffani Thiessen), on the other hand, was not. What did Burke — or DeKay, for that matter — do to deserve her? I’ll spare myself reliving it, but no.

I was surprised to see, after watching the episode, that Caffrey’s friend Mozzie (Willie Garson) is cast as a series regular. Not because there was anything wrong with him, but rather because … well, let’s just say going in I thought Caffrey would be more self-reliant. But I think Mozzie may be more significant as a friend, than as the criminal that he is. Enough said on that.

I was left wondering if Caffrey was more a charmer than a con artist, but I suppose Leonardo DiCaprio’s Frank Abagnale Jr. was a charmer, too. And I like Bomer. I think he was a whole lot of nothing on Chuck, but Traveler intrigued me as a concept, and I liked his character on that show a lot. DeKay, on the other hand, wowed me in a different way on HBO’s Tell Me You Love Me, and I’ve been happy to see him pop up on assorted shows.

Now they both have another shot at a hit, and I think they’ve got one. See for yourself when White Collar premieres on USA Network, Friday night October 23, at 10PM. Characters most definitely welcome.

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Good lord, did I just say that? What has this show done to me?

In a way, Hef is now the focal point of The Girls Next Door. He and the mansion are the staples that have carried over into this new iteration. But it is called The Girls Next Door, and after five years with Bridget, Holly and Kendra are we ready to meet and fall in love with a whole new set of girlfriends? And do we need two Kendras?

I think that may be one of the first weaknesses in the new cast. Kristina and Karissa are admittedly not just identical twins, but identical personalities. And that personality seems more than similar to Kendra’s dim-witted persona, than a well-rounded human being. But whereas Kendra was balanced by two girls with smarts and distinctive interests of their own, the twins only have the slightly older Crystal.

And Kendra had her own quirks, such as her obsession with sports and the “gangsta” lifestyle. So far, the twins giggle a lot and dyed their little white dogs pink. And they like to get naked a lot. They’re like “Girls Gone Wild” who stumbled into the mansion.

At 23, Crystal is Hef’s new “#1 Girlfriend.” But, as she’s quick to point out, she’s not “the new Holly. Holly’s the old me.” She also has a job at the mansion, working with Hef’s massive personal photo collection to try and make functional scrapbooks out of it making ten dollars an hour.

So not only does she live in the Playboy Mansion and get all the perks of that lifestyle, but she’s working there making more per hour than many hard-working Americans right now. But I guess it was never about thinking that these girls were anything like us. It’s fantasy role-playing, or just looking at hot naked chicks all the time.

Hef does live a fantasy life. How many of us can walk out into our front yard and see two beautiful naked twins washing our car? I know at my house they’re usually arrested before I can get dressed and get out there. Damn the law!

I thought it was pretty smart to incorporate a trip to Vegas so the new girls could check in on Holly. It helps the audience transition into these new girlfriends if we feel confident they have Holly’s blessing. But it also reminded me that I liked Holly and she has a distinct personality.

The problem, I think, is that after five seasons getting to know the original “Girls,” there’s an inevitable learning curve with these new ones. At the same time, I can’t help but feel that we got a lot more unique personality traits than “dumb blonde” out of the original cast right away.

One of the biggest changes over five seasons has been Hef himself. In the early seasons he was such a recluse, hardly leaving the mansion for any reason. The original girls pulled him out of his shell and now he’s back to traveling the world and showing that spark of life that made him into the legendary “Hef” in the first place.

With Hef in place, it almost doesn’t matter who they surround him with. A show about life in the Playboy Mansion is just as much fun if it focuses on him and Mary and the goings on at the head of the Playboy empire. The hot girls are just a bonus!

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This season of Cold Case might not be pretty for the show, or for us fans. The series went right down to the wire this summer, before CBS graciously saved its life for a seventh season, but that doesn’t mean certain concessions didn’t have to be made, or that Cold Case won’t be on a short leash all year long. “One viewer less than your perennial top-ten 12 million? See you!”

What’s great about the show, and therefore more glaring when it’s absent, is its ability to explore decades upon decades of crimes, technology, people, settings, etc. The possibilities are endless, the likelihood for repetition rare. So, when the two-part finale focused on a 2005 murder, when everyone looked like they do now?… Save for Lilly (Kathryn Morris), of course, whose life we saw play out after she narrowly escaped death.

Word has it that season seven picks up roughly where six left off, with Lilly testifying at the trial of the guy who ran her off the road. Does that mean we’re also in for more Lilly flashback scenes? Is there any reason for all of that? I mean, does it matter that she met Stillman (John Finn) when she was young? Also, should she really be giving her father a second chance at a relationship with her? And what’s her deal with Eddie (Bobby Cannavale)? I think he’s due back, but I just can’t look at him anymore without thinking of his terrible role on Will & Grace.

As for the rest of the team, this isn’t a show where much hangs in the balance from week to week, let alone season to season. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t things I’d like to see from them. I’d like to learn more about Stillman, considering the fact that he only exists as far as the walls of the Philly PD stretch. Scotty (Danny Pino) is still struggling to pull his life back together, no matter how many women he waltzes through per season. Is Frankie (Tania Raymonde) good or bad for him? Hard to tell, but I could watch them for a while longer yet.

Vera (Jeremy Ratchford) and Jeffries (Thom Barry) are a funny pair, and I loved when they were living together, but neither character gets much opportunity to grow. I still bemoan Vera’s losing Toni (Sonja Sohn), and we know less about Jeffries than we do about Stillman. These shows do, and should, have leads, but that doesn’t mean the supporting characters should be little beyond wallpaper and wisecrackers.

Kat (Tracie Thoms) has begun a nice little story, what with her undercover days, and the father of her child. But that, too, takes a backseat for Lilly at every turn. Don’t get me wrong; I love Lilly. But I like Kat a lot, too, as well as the rest of the gang (one of the few shows where I like all of the main characters). I’d just like to get some more of them all.

That may really be the key for the series: connecting viewers with the characters, beyond the main faces of the show. Procedurals don’t lure you in for how well they solve a crime, or how gruesome the gore is (at least not me). The difference is really the people, and Cold Case has got the goods. But if they’re not showcased well, it doesn’t really matter.

If Cold Case was on the fence with 12 million viewers, then clearly even Lilly Rush can’t do this one all by herself. A team effort is called for, and we’ve got just the group to handle it. Assuming we pay their travel expenses from Philadelphia, of course. Police budget and all.

Catch Cold Case this Sunday, September 27, at 10PM (new time!) on CBS.

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Yes, you’re reading that correctly. At least as far as I can tell from the cover of the screener that I have yet to have a chance to screen. Plus Showtime commercials … I’d say it’s a fair bet.

So, what the hell, right? I thought maybe I’d forgotten something, but after having just re-watched season two, I know this is a brand new story. And a rather surprising one, considering Hank’s (David Duchovny) disdain for people, other writers (I assume he’s teaching a writing class), and conformity in general. And yet, the tagline “He’s easy” is perfect. Right?

Let’s back up a second to last season. Hank stayed behind in California with Becca (Madeleine Martin), while Karen (Natascha McElhone) followed a job to New York. Charlie (Evan Handler) and Marcy (Pamela Adlon) are split, and Mia’s (Madeline Zima) off on a book tour. Oh, and the great Lew Ashby (Callum Keith Rennie) is deceased.

It’s a real shame about Ashby, because I thought he was a really great addition to the show. Believe it or not, but Californication is really about characters, and Hank Moody is a tremendous one. He’s really a fascinating person, and I absolutely love watching Duchovny explore him. While Ashby started as a bit of a caricature, he grew into a tremendous ying to Hank’s ying.

Yes, two yings, because of how alike the two were. Not across the board — I think Hank had more courage, while Lew had a bit more insight — but the mirror of their lives, who they were, and how they’d gotten there, was some very artful writing. And acting. While I didn’t like Lew going after Karen, but was okay with Lew’s Janie (Madchen Amick) chasing Hank (I know it’s hypocritical, plus I’m not a Karen fan), I think the message was a strong one for Hank: Karen might not be right for you, but a “Karen” might. Is that Janie? Who knows, but open your mind beyond Karen being the be-all-and-end-all. I know, love of your life, but how many times going wrong will it take to prove it to you?

I like Charlie, even if it’s really weird that Hank’s so close to his agent, but good riddance to Marcy. First of all, she talks like some teenager from the hood, instead of a married middle-ager who owns a business. Second, she’s a coke-head. No, that doesn’t excuse Charlie’s cheating, with Dani (Rachel Miner) or with Daisy (Carla Gallo), but I just can’t stand her. I do hope they settle him better this season, though; selling BMWs in the Valley? Low, Runkle.

I think too many people on the show talk in a way out-of-character sort of way, first and foremost Becca and Mia. I realize it’s a show-specific stylistic thing, but adding the word “the” in front of everything you say is annoying. Not that that’s the only reason I dislike Becca; I think she’s way too whiny, and extremely unappreciative of what she has in life.

And, Mia? It makes me sick that she stole Hank’s book and is passing it off as her own. How in the world Hank doesn’t strangle the life out of her is beyond me, and I don’t think it makes him a better person, or more loving of Karen, or a better father to Mia than her own. It just sucks, a ridiculous understatement if there ever was one.

I liked Damien (Ezra Miller, who played Tucker on Royal Pains) for Becca, and I wonder if he’s back this season (he better be; that’s what Becca and Hank stayed behind for last season). Karen, on the other hand? I’d be fine with it if she only existed on paper, and not as an actual character, come this season. I mean, if the writers were asking my opinion. I think she plays a huge role in Hank’s life, but I’m not sure if that’s their screen time, or just who she is to him. I’d like to see which this season, and would love it if she were MIA, for that purpose, as the season opens.

So, Hank as a teacher, huh? Not sure how he gets there, or why, but anything Hank Moody does is enjoyable to watch. The show disgusts my wife, but it really isn’t about sex, cursing, drugs, and drinking. There’s a real character study on Californication, and I’m extremely excited for class to return this season.

Catch Hank and the Californication gang on Showtime this Sunday night, September 27.

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This is the season premiere of Medium that almost wasn’t. NBC canceled the show, only to have CBS swoop in the next day and pick it up. In an unsuccessful effort to stave off NBC’s cancellation, season 5 ended with Allison in a coma and her life and powers hanging in the balance.

Although we’re not supposed to reveal major plot points in previews, I don’t think CBS is going to come down on me for revealing that the main character on their show does, in fact, survive. Although the DuBois family dynamic is strong enough on its own to merit a family drama series, the show is still called Medium, so if Allison lost her powers and they never came back, you wouldn’t have much of a show. So once you get past the fact that yes, Allison does live and no, her powers aren’t gone forever, you can get into what’s really interesting about the season premiere.

So many of Medium’s episodes start off with Allison having a dream, and then after the credits, the DuBois family having breakfast and getting ready for work and school. While season 6 looks similar to the Medium we know and love, the dynamics of the DuBois household are noticeably different. For instance, the dream we open up with is terrifying, and does involve someone sitting bolt-upright in bed, but that person is not Allison. Breakfast time is also different, and there’s a noticeable tension that wasn’t there before.

To their credit, Medium writers didn’t just make the coma storyline a convenient way to mess with Allison’s powers — the effects are more far-reaching. Besides residual physical effects in Allison, the family has had to deal with her hospitalization and subsequent recovery, meaning that they have taken on new roles. Ariel, now being old enough to drive, has taken on a lot of responsibility. The way she deals with this responsibility is really only hinted at in this episode, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a much larger storyline going forward.

Even though when we begin the episode, Allison is still recovering and is no longer working for the DA’s office, there is still a case of the week. The way this case is solved and the role Allison’s powers do or do not play in solving it indicate a possible change of the entire structure of the show.

I was not a fan of the coma storyline last season, and the way they ended on a cliffhanger. However, having seen the season premiere, I’m back on board. The writers have managed to shake things up in a way that was very necessary if Medium is going to survive past this season. However, the show is still familiar enough that loyal fans won’t be disappointed. The groundwork has been laid for what will prove to be a very enjoyable season.

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There are lots of shows that tend to get into a groove, where the next season premiere doesn’t offer much in the way of surprises or changes from seasons past. In some cases, I’d call that more of a rut. We tune in to the season premieres of shows  — even those we love — and it’s more of the same. House has had the tendency to follow that unsurprising formula, but its sixth season premiere has done away with the formulaic and has given us two hours of some of the best dramedy of the year.

When last we left House, you may recall that he was checking himself into Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital. Things pick right up from there and … pretty much stay there. The entirety of the premiere of House is all about the title character and the months of treatment (and attempted treatment) he goes through in order to be fit to leave … and feel fit to leave, as he’s not held there against his will.

As part of House’s journey through mental rehabilitation we’re introduced to some new characters, some whom we’ll likely never see again after this episode. Some of the more notable are Curtis Armstrong as conspiracy theorist patient Richter, and Andre Braugher as Dr. Nolan, the man in charge of the facility (or at least ward Six, where House is holed up). They are notable more because they are recognizable, but the performances are top-notch all around.

The rest of the supporting cast within the hospital have their own personalities and pieces to the story, and you’re not going to want to see them go away. In fact, if I were a betting man, I’d say this isn’t the last we’ll see of all of them. I expect to see at least one of the patients or staff to make an appearance in a future episode of House, perhaps just to pay him a visit after being excused from treatment or, more than likely, as a medical patient.

What makes these two hours of House stand out from the rest is how it plays out like a movie. In many ways it feels very self-contained and only relies on the viewer knowing at least a little about House’s personality. Newcomers to the world of House could easily sit in on this episode and likely get sucked right in, understanding why this show has worked so well for five-plus years. From the completely new setting, to the new characters and awesome soundtrack (seriously), this episode is good-movie quality.

Something else stands out about the sixth season premiere of House. For so long it’s seemed that the show cannot survive without the same mean, pill-popping House that we’ve come to know and love. Without his meanness and pills, and without his ability to find true friendship and open up to those who’d allow him to, the show simply wouldn’t be the same and become uninteresting and unfunny. This episode proves that the show can not only survive without those familiar elements to House, but it can become reinvigorated and thrive.

Watch the season premiere of House, along with Hugh Laurie’s continued brilliance in his role, tonight at 8 PM on FOX.

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I have seen the future of Castle … and it is good. Well, the season two premiere is anyway, and the little promises they’ve given us, if they should be fulfilled, will make for a well-developed season, building nicely upon the groundwork laid in season one.

Lots of our favorite elements are back — quotable lines, Beckett / Castle banter, Castle getting advice from his not-like-him daughter, the poker game (yeah, I almost jumped out of my seat!). They’ve added a couple of new dimensions as well, that I think will make the series even stronger. Aryeh would like to see more crimes based on Castle novels. We don’t get that in the premiere, but that would be fun to explore this season.

It was hinted at as season one progressed, but we’re seeing a lighter side of Beckett in the season two premiere. She’s willing to be less professional to get the job done and not so worried about appearances. There’s a nice resolution to Beckett being mad at Castle for digging into her mother’s murder too.

Again, we saw glimpses of this in season one, but Castle’s mother is taming down and becoming a bit of a sage this season. Love her or hate her, she’s back with her crazy looks but her head seems screwed on just a bit tighter. Open your mind to this character, because for all of her nuttiness, it’s easy to see how she could raise such a wonderful son; she really is a very good parent and I like that they are focusing on this aspect of her.

A complaint I had last season is that the two cops who work with Beckett were such weak characters that I couldn’t even remember their names. Well, I still don’t know them, but they are actually given real speaking parts in the season two premiere, with personality, funny lines and everything. There just may be some hope for these guys turning into actual characters this season.

Castle’s as good as it ever was, and promises to be even better this season. Could it be that Nathan Fillion finally has a hit on his hands? Find out for yourself when it premieres on Monday, September 21 at 10:00 pm on ABC. (Oh, and Feed The Birds!)

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You didn’t think that Dollhouse was coming back. I didn’t think Dollhouse was coming back. Brett surely didn’t think that Dollhouse was coming back. If you took that bet to Vegas, however, you lost big. Thankfully, we were wrong. Joss Whedon’s latest drama premieres its second season on Friday, September 25, despite disappointing in the ratings. But, as Joss said this week, “I don’t make hit shows; I make shows that stick around.” Fortunately for us, Dollhouse is back.

As per usual, Spoiler Warnings in effect!!!

When we last left our heroes (except … heroes … that totally doesn’t work for this show at all, does it?) most were dead, we were all in the future, and it was the end of the world as we know it. But that’s only if you purchased the DVD and were privy to the amazing unaired “Epitaph One.” If not, you probably remember Alpha trying to stuff Echo chalk-full-o’ personalities, Ballard making a deal with the devil, Whiskey finding out she wasn’t who she thought she was, and Langton taking over for Mr. Dominic.

The premiere is good, but it’s a bit bittersweet from my perspective. The best story told, and the most interesting character dynamic, is one that will unfortunately get so little airtime over the course of the season. Amy Acker’s Whiskey/Dr. Saunders is now dealing with being aware of who, or at least what, she is. Her struggles with Topher — who created her personality — are especially poignant because, seriously, who ever gets to question their maker like that? Unfortunately, Acker is only going to be around for three episodes, so the story will most likely simmer on the back-burner most of the season.

Echo is still in action, though her first client was a little bit of a surprise. The mission is to take down an arms dealer (BSG’s Jamie Bamber), and the active has to get close … a little more close than Ballard is actually comfortable with. It’s the deeper connection between the two of them, however, that leads to the eventual success, which prompts Ballard to make his relationship with the Dollhouse a bit more … official. Echo, on the other hand, is dealing with becoming a different kind of self-aware.

We only get quick glances of the rest of the Actives in the main cast. Victor is just about healed, and shares a telling moment with DeWitt. Sierra is there too, but only enough to remind us that she is there, and is still connected to Victor is some mysterious way. November is gone, but presumably not for long. Joss teased her return, but no details, other than since it was his show, you can be sure some kind of pain would be involved. Alpha also isn’t around, so Victor’s new face is safe … for now.

We got a quick introduction to one of the other guest stars in store this season. Alexis Denisof (Angel) plays a politician on a mission that doesn’t bode well for the Dollhouse. We’re also going to see Ray Wise (Reaper) as the director of another Dollhouse, and Summer Glau (Firefly) as someone in his employ. Micheal Hogan (BSG) will also stop by, but all of these genre has led Brett to wonder if their casting will actually bring new viewers. My perspective: I just think its pretty darn cool that they’ll be on the show, so I must be sitting in the choir that Joss is preaching to.

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I missed out on this year’s San Diego Comic-Con, but I did witness the big presence made by Showtime’s Dexter in 2008 and remember feeling it felt sort of out of place in a convention that’s usually just about science fiction, fantasy and general geekery. Apparently it made enough splash then to have the show return to SDCC’09, as it was there again in full force, this time promoting this upcoming season and, in particular, the role played by guest star John Lithgow.

We got a chance to take a look at the first handful of episodes of Dexter’s fourth season, and let me tell you, the first episode (hell, the first scene) alone is enough to tell you that Lithgow’s Walter Simmons carries a much different sort of dark passenger than Dexter does.

For anyone who’s teetered on the edge of the creepiness factor of Dexter, let me warn you that what Dexter does and how he carries it out is going to seem tame to what Simmons — the “Trinity Killer” — does, how he does it and how he later reacts to it, if that’s even possible to imagine. Simmons is a long-time serial killer, evading capture (and identity) for over 30 years, though his motivation for doing so appears to be much different than Dexter’s. By motivation I don’t mean how Dexter kills bad guys and Simmons kills innocents. I mean how Dexter does what he does to squelch his personal “dark passenger” and, after he kills, he feels better about it. Simmons seems awfully bothered by what he’s doing and has a ritual that’s more sick and twisted than methodical.

It’s not clear yet how Simmons and Dexter will clash this season, though Dexter does have a very active role in tracking him down. It remains to be seen, though, whether Dexter will have an appreciation for Simmons’s work like he did with his late brother — the “Ice Truck Killer” — or if this sort of monster is someone even Dexter can’t relate to.

Some other points from the season premiere, without getting too spoilery:

• There’s a surprise hook-up within Miami Metro. I honestly thought it was a dream sequence when I first saw it, because I didn’t see it coming at all.
• Keith Carradine’s Special Agent Lundy is back for what appears to be quite a long spell, perhaps for the entire season. This is, of course, making more than one Morgan uneasy.
• We get to see way too much Lithgow ass.
• Dexter’s a new daddy with a new house and new neighbors. And with being a new daddy, I whole-heartedly sympathize with his lack of sleep issues. The final scene of the second episode is simply brutal to watch.
• Quinn seems to be taking on a larger role this season and his relationship with Dexter (or lack thereof) is going to be interesting to watch.
• Deb left off last season digging into father Harry’s past. Expect to see more of that for the entire season.
• Vince … is Vince.

Dexter’s fourth season premieres September 27 on Showtime.

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FX was kind enough to send me a pretty cool package containing rough cuts of the first four episodes of the fifth 13-episode season, starting tonight at 10pm on FX. Don’t forget, we’ve got two seasons already guaranteed beyond this one!

There were some genuine laugh-out-loud moments in every single one of them. You even get to learn about Charlie and Mac’s big-budget movie pitch, starring Dolph Lundgren, with the best tag-line in Hollywood.

In these first four episodes the gang takes on the mortgage crisis, surrogacy, and stage an intervention for one of their own. I won’t tell you which, but considering that all five are drunken leches, it could be anyone!

I remain so thrilled that they nabbed Danny DeVito for this show back in season two. Frank is one of the funniest and strongest comedic presences in television. And he’s up for anything, whether it’s rolling around in filth or flinging himself through a gate. He’s a master of physical comedy and timing, and yet he’s always the smartest person in the room.

On the opposite end you have Charlie, who foolishly tries to challenge a lawyer in legal matters and winds up booking a duel to the death.

The gang also sets out on their first ever road trip, heading to the Grand Canyon for Frank. Which goes about as well as you’d expect. We do find out that Charlie not only has never had a pear, but he can’t even figure out how to eat one. And then when he gets the chance, he still doesn’t get it.

These characters are basically cartoons of humanity, and damn it if it isn’t the funniest show on television. Or maybe it’s just my warped sense of humor. I don’t laugh out loud at anything as much as I do It’s Always Sunny.

Oh, and for those who can appreciate such things as I do, we do get Kaitlin Olson into a teeny bikini within these first four episodes. The usage of a pool is just one of the perks she feels she’s earned through the generosity of her womb-rental-service. And yes, she looks very … fit.

To say anything more is to ruin the fun in watching these sordid tales unfold. The characters are so fully fleshed out by now, that all the writers need to do is come up with the basic kernel of a premise and let the actors go crazy all over it. And crazy is definitely the right word.

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In case you haven’t heard yet, Christian Slater has decided to give television another go by starring in ABC’s upcoming drama, The Forgotten. The premise is this: a group of experts led by Alex Donovan (Slater) — who are not law enforcement, though work with them (think Bones) — assist in figuring out the identities of “John Does” (or Jane Does) by way of a bit of detective work, crime re-creation and forensics. It’s their hope that, by discovering who these “forgotten” people are, they can help lead to an arrest or, at the very least, give a sense of resolution to loved ones. In fact, it’s that resolution that may motivate them over anything else.

Overall the pilot episode did nothing for me. There’s little to no chemistry between the people in Donovan’s team, and for a pilot episode we get very little background into who these people are, what they are like and what drives them (well, a little bit of that last bit, but just a morsel). There are opportunities to throw a little fun into the show, but they are never used, and there’s a sad lack of suspense so far. Where things really got interesting, and perhaps excuse the lack of character depth, is how the episode ends, though I may be reading into it all wrong.

First let me mention that I don’t consider this a spoiler, as I’m not really giving away a plot point to the episode. This is all just a theory, as the ending simply has a line of dialogue that raised an eyebrow for me and may just be chalked up to a poorly written scene. So, if you’re still skittish about this possibly being a spoiler, don’t read on. Although, fair warning, my track record for theories isn’t so bad.

In the final scene of the pilot, there’s a funeral. Alex Donovan is there, off to the side, with the rest of his team right next to him. The mother of the deceased comes up to Donovan and they have a little bit of dialogue, and then she thanks him. He says, “It’s not just me — a lot of people helped.” She replies, “Are they here with you?” and then looks around. He simply says, “They’re everywhere.” Then he walks off, the team in tow. Close with an unrelated voiceover.

Now, there are three ways to interpret that scene: 1) Donovan’s a dick, because he didn’t respond with, “Oh sure, here they are right here next to me. Take a bow, guys!” 2) the scene is poorly executed and the team should have been much further away, or 3) Donovan’s the only real person on the “team” and everyone else are just his alter-egos — they are all in his head, and when we see them talking to people, it’s actually Donovan talking, only as how he perceives himself at that time.

With that bit of knowledge, consider watching the pilot when it airs on September 22 (10 PM Eastern on ABC) and see what you think. There are at least a couple of instances where situation #3 doesn’t quite fit (like “you guys” references), but it’s still passable. I wouldn’t mention this so clearly here unless I thought it was a concrete twist, spelled out clearly to the viewer, so don’t kill me if #3 above turns out to be true.

Even if #3 is true, it’s a revelation that’s either much too vague or was too easy for someone to guess too soon. Honestly, I’m only going to continue on to the second episode just to see if my theory holds water.

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“I’ve been informed that our failure to deliver any usable results is unacceptable.” — Special Agent Broyles

This really has grown into a wonderful little show. If this is The X-Files for the new millennium, then I’m all for it. I hope it can find the audience it deserves, and go on for many years slowly revealing The Pattern, one maddening detail at a time.

There were even a couple of nods to the former FOX staple, including one that alludes to this series possibly existing in the same world as that one. Or maybe just that the Fringe reality had its own X-division.

Ah, realities. That’s where we left things, and where Olivia went off to so she could have a face-to-face meet with Spock William Bell. The Twin Towers reveal at the end of last season was one of the biggest reveals of the year, but getting almost as much scrutiny was that newspaper (more on that later). Suffice it to say, the new season of Fringe starts off at a shattering pace, and I couldn’t be more excited to see where we’re going.

Don’t expect any quick answers about where Olivia went, what she did there, or how she got back. Know, though, that she didn’t come back alone. And that it appears we’ve had visitors from this other world before, and possibly many more.

Right away we were introduced to a new character who has the potential to stick around. She’s with the FBI, and ever so curious as to what the Fringe Division is all about. And she’s pretty good at uncovering secrets, too.

As the opening quote indicates, the season opens with the entire Fringe Division on the brink of oblivion. Like The X-Files, there’s not a lot of easy hard-evidence to come by on this show, so it’s hard for the government to justify the expenditures.

But there’s a war coming, you say. Or at least some sort of major confrontation that Bell and Walter Bishop and Massive Dynamic have a role to play in. The war’s not under way yet (maybe), but we’ve met one of its soldiers and he’s a force to be reckoned with.

Maybe this preview is light on details, but that’s because I love you and this show deserves to be watched without me spoiling the best parts. There’s a lot to get excited about in this second season of Fringe, including an evolution in the way the team responds to their various cases.

There’s the fact that Peter’s not from around here. There’s Olivia’s meeting in that alternate world. There’s that alternate world, and possibly others. There’s the fate of Charlie Francis to contend with. Does he die, as rumored? If so, how does he stay on the show (those last two I can tell you are answered in this first episode back)?

How’s the cow?

As part of the press package, FOX sent me a copy of that newspaper in Walter Bell’s office, teasing about that world. They also sent me another piece of paper with typewritten text on it that didn’t make sense until I’d seen the premiere. You’ll know it when you see it.

Here are some highlights from The New York News:

• The stock market has been closed for 21 days as of May 12, 2009.
• Kennedy is talking to the UN regarding the legal status of ex-deceased citizens.
• A possibly silicate-based life form has been discovered on the bottom of the sea.
• New Orleans is the “fastest growing city in the South.”
• The National Weather Service can take “corrective action” in response to the weather.
• Something called Zero Point Energy may be supplanting natural energy sources.
• After nine years of construction, the new White House is nearing completion.
• The FDA approves facial landscaping, a revolutionary new plastic surgery.
• The Beatles are all alive.
• Guns ‘N Roses Chinese Democracy came out ten years ago, and the band is still one of the biggest acts in the world.
• The Terminator is an opera (and Schwarzenegger is a Senator).
• You can order genetically customized pets, including fluorescent skin!
• And in a special nod to Leonard Nimoy (William Bell), Star Trek was #1 at the box office this week, earning nearly $50 million more than Wolverine, in second place.

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Gentlebeings, welcome to the 2009-2010 fall season! Oh sure, there were some season/series premieres last week — mostly on The CW, which really isn’t a network — but a majority of them start this week and continue until through October (in time for the cancellations). It’s shaping up to be an interesting season.  Traditional family sitcoms are attempting a return, a Joss Whedon show is making it to a second season on FOX, and three series remakes (Melrose Place, V, Parenthood) will try to pull in respectable audiences.

Then, of course, there’s The Jay Leno Show; known to the cigar-chomping executives over at NBC as “The Great Experiment”. While Jay and the network executives are optimistic about the show’s chances, many viewers are skeptical as to whether or not the former number one rated network can make it work.

So, it looks to be a wild ride. One that will either save the networks (for real, this time), or cause them to totally rethink the way they accept and promote new series. The good news is CliqueClack TV is going to be right with you as the shows roll out, bomb immediately, or become instant successes.

We’ve already given you a comprehensive premiere schedule. Here are additional previews and opinions of some of your favorite upcoming shows.

• Bob is somewhat apathetic about this upcoming season.
• Ivey wants to know what show will be canceled first (my guess is Mercy).
• Debbie gets a warm feeling all over watching CBS’ The Good Wife.
• Brett feels that HBO’s new comedy, Bored to Death, is unique and fits in well right behind Curb Your Enthusiasm.
• Our illustrious leader (that would be Keith) gives a big thumbs-up to Curb Your Enthusiasm’s reunion of the Seinfeld cast.
• Keith also gives us the skinny on the season seven premiere of The Office.
• I provide a tentative “okay” to the season five premiere of Bones.
• I also wonder who Bones will pick as her next permanent assistant.
• Aryeh has an interesting theory about season 5 of How I Met Your Mother.
• Debbie gives you three important reasons why NCIS:LA works.
• Aryeh thinks that Castle needs to get back to basics in the second season.
• Debbie wonders if The Vampire Diaries is the next Buffy.
• Jason reviews the second season of Sons of Anarchy.
• Ivey lets us know who lives and who dies (and who cares) on the upcoming season of Grey’s Anatomy.
• Ivey also reviews the new ABC series Flash Forward, or FlashForward, or fLaShForWARD.
• Again with Ivey! This time he talks about the newest season of Smallville.
• Debbie wonders if Cougar Town is really as bad as others are saying.
• Debbie also reviews ABC’s Modern Family, which she just adores.
• Ivey again. This time he talks about NBC’s Mercy.
• Switching gears, Ivey reviews the remake of V, which he’s excited about.
• Bob is only slightly encouraged by ABC’s new show Eastwick.
• Julia says that Sons of Tucson gets it right with its mix of adorable kids and cranky adults.
• Ivey will be paying attention to Trauma – NBC’s replacement for the long-running ER.
• Guest Clacker Sebastian says that the new NBC comedy Community shouldn’t be missed.

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Get past the fact that it’s actually not a crime drama on CBS … the Powers That Be saw fit to produce The Good Wife, a legal drama centered around lawyer Alicia Florrick, played by Julianna Margulies, who recently returns to work to support her family. Why? Her husband Peter was basically a giant douchebag politician, tossed in jail for a sex scandal, and other illegal acts.

It sounds pathetic, doesn’t it? But this, my friends, is not a sob story. It is a charming story of a woman’s strength and her love for her family, her interactions with the quirky people she meets in her revived career, and her relationship with her estranged inmate husband and her mother-in-law (who lives with her and her children).

Even though you hate him on some levels, you can’t help but feel for Peter, probably because he is played by Chris Noth — always Mr. Big to me, though being part puppy-dog definitely helps his character’s sympathy vote. It is a tense and awkward relationship, for sure, but so honest that it becomes … likable, for lack of a better word. I crave the screen time we get between Margulies and Noth. Perhaps it’s their chemistry, maybe the writing and directing; but it works, utterly and completely.

Speaking of awkward, really … who wants to live with their mother-in-law, even in the best of circumstances? Living with your jailed, cheating husband’s judgmental mom is probably akin to Chinese water torture, and I can imagine Alicia must at least bite her fingernails — if not grind her teeth — and often.

I’ve got to say, this is not my kind of show, yet I was thoroughly engaged from beginning to end. For the life of me, I can’t finger exactly what it was, except that it was so well-balanced and refreshing, different — even though it sounds like it could be typical — and so well-acted. It’s been a long time since a straight drama has really grabbed me, and hopefully The Good Wife will continue to live up to its stellar pilot, which airs on CBS on Tuesday, September 22 at 10:00.

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When last we left The Office, it was pretty obvious that Pam and Jim were expecting. Sorry if that’s a spoiler to you, but even without saying so, I think most of us knew what the silent celebration between Jim and Pam was about. So, how does the sixth season start out?

We got a look at The Office’s season six premiere, and the formula is still there, the people are still there and the funny is still there … for the most part. I’ll try not to get too spoilery here, but if you’re a major spoiler-phobe, you might want to tread on carefully in this post.

First of all, the premiere starts out with the usual unrelated short segment. Without getting into exactly what happens, watch the following video as a bit of pre-watching research, so you know what the heck they are talking about:

For all the Jim/Pam ’shipper lovers out there, yes, Pam’s pregnancy is addressed adequately, as well as the set date for a wedding. Damn, it’s hard to go into much in this preview without giving too much away!

The title of the season premiere is “Gossip,” as in office-based gossip, which is the subject of the entire episode. If you know anything about Michael Scott, you know this is like candy to him. And what happens when you take candy from a whiny baby? Oh you just watch.

The one gripe I have about the episode is that it’s not up to par with some of the better episodes of the show. There are definitely some laugh-out-loud moments, in particular what Andy has to go through (in both the opening segment and later). I guess I had much higher hopes going into it. It starts out a bit slow, but it makes up for it in the second half of the episode.

During this episode, there are a slew of fake rumors flying around the office, and two of them are true. I’ll leave you with the list of rumors that were at least mentioned in the episode and have you guess who belongs to which rumor (some are obvious) and which ones are true (one is real obvious):

• Someone is gay
• Someone is the voice of the Taco Bell dog
• Someone has asthma
• Someone uses store bought manure
• Someone’s having an affair
• Someone is pregnant
• Someone is anorexic
• Someone is a J. Crew model
• Someone has someone else inside them, working them with controls
• Someone might be fired for not doing a good job
• Someone is a virgin

The sixth season of The Office premieres this Thursday at 9 PM (Eastern) at 9 PM on NBC. Check our full calendar (subscribable link at the top!) for a full list of the other premieres.

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The seventh season of HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm premieres next Sunday, and I got to take an early look at the first three episodes. The first two play out as typical Larry David driven Curb episodes, picking up sometime after we last left David (remember, he left his wife Cheryl for Loretta Black). A pretty out-of-left-field ending to the season, if you ask me, but it definitely had me wondering what this season would look like. These first two episodes address that storyline with some finality, but where the season really picks up the pace is in the third episode.

You may have already heard that this season of Curb would feature a pretty large plot revolving around a reunion of the Seinfeld cast. What you may not have known, though, was that it’s actually Seinfeld, the show, getting back together as well. It’s a reunion episode about a reunion episode. How freaking brilliant is that?

In case you’re not familiar with Larry David’s involvement with Seinfeld, he created and wrote for the show during its long run on NBC. Essentially he wrote the part of George Costanza to be a near mirror-image of himself, so the scenes with Jason Alexander (who played George in the series) are some of the best yet on the series. You’re basically seeing George argue with … George!

Jerry and Jason both poke fun at Larry and the show in ways fans will love, in particular how this reunion will make up for the shitty finale and allow the show to “go out on a high note.” I did a spit-take just from that whole line of dialogue alone. Jerry, Julia and Michael somehow ooze the personalities of their Seinfeld characters “in real life” in this episode, too, in particular Michael Richards in the cafe of nudes.

I’m not sure yet how many episodes the Seinfeld gang has signed on for, but so far it looks like we’ll be seeing a lot more of them (and possibly Meg Ryan) in at least the next couple of episodes. I’m betting they’re in for the entire season, as Curb usually takes on one large plot point per season and runs that through to the season finale. Well, this would be that plot point, so I can’t wait to see more.

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It’s hard to believe that a show as fantastic as Dark Blue has yet to be renewed. But, for whatever reason, the question’s still hanging out there. Who knows what’s up at TNT headquarters.

The lingering question, however, makes it difficult to imagine what we might be in for come the finale. I was pleasantly surprised to discover — after previewing the last episode — that we will finally learn a little bit about Carter. Not what makes him tick, but enough that we can walk away (for a few months) feeling as if we’re missing four friends. Well, acquaintances.

Last week, Dean advised Jaimie to leave her boyfriend, instead of hurting him by telling him the truth about who she is. In the finale, outside factors will force Jaimie to choose just how much she loves Scott (Noah Bean).

We’ve also watched as Ty begins to question just what it is that he wants out of his work. That, coupled with his promise to wife Melissa (Meta Golding) that when they start a family — something she’s ready for — he’ll stop going under, has brought Ty to the precipice of a decision. Will drama with Carter push him over the edge?

And then there’s Dean. I actually felt, when the show premiered, that we’d know more about Dean than anyone on the team. But since week two, we’ve learned little about him that’s expanded on who he is. What we do know is that he lives on the edge … how far is he willing to cross over it?

Two things I got from the rough cut I watched that I wanted to share with you: before the final scrubbing, the show is a lot brighter. Also, they have to do a lot of dub work, and they use some random guy to mark spots for them. The result is what sounds like some scrawny white guy doing voice drops for Ty. It was really funny.

Dark Blue season one airs its finale this Wednesday night, at 10 PM on TNT. As for a season two … we can only hope that TNT appreciates just how great this show is, and can be. We shall see what kind of decision they choose to make.

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When last we left Bones, Super Special FBI Agent Seeley Booth was having a bit of a time remembering who the hell the person was who sat next to his hospital bed. This wouldn’t normally be something to worry about, unless that person was one Temperance Brennan — partner and, one day in season 12, love interest for Booth. As season four drew to a close, the biggest question was: would Booth’s memories return in time for season five?

As that particular season premieres on Thursday, Boothgelus has gone over to the dark side of Washington D.C. (a.k.a: Politics). Meanwhile, Bonesy and the Squinty Gang search for clues that will reunite Boothgelus and his soul. Or, something like like that. I may be imagining that particular scenario.

Actually, six weeks have passed since Seeley had that weird-assed dream which had him married to Temperance. But, he’s much better now and raring to get back to solving some gruesome crimes. Thing is, there are still some things that his brain is still working out. That’s making Booth second-guess his decision to return to active duty. I won’t tell you what those things are — both you, and show creator Hart Hanson, would kill me.

Seeley’s predicament is the crux of the season premiere. While there’s still a case for Bones and Booth to solve, the story revolves more around Seeley, consequences of this brain surgery, and subsequent memory gaps. I would compare it to the season 8 episode of Magnum P.I. titled “Pleasure Principle“. In the episode, our good friend Magnum has just recovered from gunshot wounds (and death). While there’s a case to be solved, most of the action surrounds Magnum’s strange behavior.

What I can tell you about the season five premiere is this:

• It features Bones, Sweets, Caroline, and all of the Squints;
• Cyndi Lauper guest-stars. Sadly, without Captain Lou Albano;
• There’s a murder that needs to be solved;
• We’ll learn something new about Seeley (I think)
• Someone will live, someone will die, and the cast will be stranded on an island that really isn’t an island.

All right, I made the last one up. However, you never know what those wacky folks at Bones have in store for us this season. As for the premiere … well, it was definitely a thousand times better than the London debacle of last season. Personally, I thought it was a good one. You’ll have to decide for yourself when you tune in September 17th at 8:00 pm whether or not you’re in agreement.

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