I have missed the Supernatural boat. Everyone tells me what a great show it is, but I’ve never taken the time. If this week’s lead quote is any indication, I sure am missing out. The week before the start of November Sweeps also brings us some good quotes from Modern Family and Community. Next week, however, I promise the return of Glee!

Supernatural

“You gotta calm down.” — Sam
“Calm down? I’m wearing sunglasses at night!! You know who does that? No talent douche bags! I hate this game! I hate that we’re in a procedural cop show and you want to know to know why … because I hate procedural cop shows! There’s like 300 of them on television and they’re all the freaking same. It’s, ‘Oh, plane crashed here.’ Oh shut up!” — Dean

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Halloween week on TV always is fun. Costumes, parties, and horror stories, oh my! This week wasn’t all about the Day of the Dead, however. We saw Derek buck the odds (and his boss) and perform a miracle like surgery, NBC cancel my favorite new show of year (Favorite show not named Glee that is), and the folks from Supernatural meet their future counterparts. And its not even November Sweeps yet!!

Community

“Batman.” — Jeff
“Yeah.” — Abed
“Are you staying for the party?” — Jeff
“If I stay, there can be no party. I must be out there in the night, staying vigilant. Wherever a party needs to be saved, I’m there. Wherever there are masks, or there’s tomfoolery and joy, I’m there. But sometimes I’m not, ’cause I’m out in the night, staying vigilant, watching, lurking, running, jumping, hurtling, sleeping. No, I can’t sleep. I don’t sleep. You sleep. I’m awake. I don’t sleep. I don’t blink. Am I a bird? No. I’m a bat. I am Batman … or am I? Yes, I am Batman. Happy Halloween.” — Abed

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This week’s column is a tribute to the new sitcoms network television has given us this season. Sure, we’ve still got some hour-longs in there (because you know I’m not going to let one of these posts go up with out some Glee love), but we’re mainly highlighting the the half hour comedies this time around.

Modern Family

“Why is she dressed like the Hamburglar?” — Mitchell, about his baby Lily

“I’ll tell you what’s weird. Our son is not weird. What’s weird is that her kid wears aftershave and dresses like a count.” — Claire, about Manny

“It’s not just the game. It’s the bands, and the drama and the pageantry.” — Mitchell
“Don’t forget about the team mascots.” — Cameron
“They wear ascots?” — Mitchell
“No, mascots, with an ‘m.’ That could have been very embarrassing.” — Cameron

“Claire likes to say you can be part of the problem or part of the solution. I happen to believe that you can be both.” — Phil

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Glee

[while hugging]
“I will destroy you.” – Will
“I’m about to vomit down your back.” – Coach Sylvestser
“It’s on.” – Will

“The independent polling company in my Dockers has confirmed that you’re the hottest girl in this school.” – Jacob

Community

“The only difference between Senor Chang and Stalin is that I know who Senor Chang is.” – Troy

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The week that NBC proved to everyone that they don’t care about hour long dramas anymore, they at least gave Jim/Pam ’shippers the moment they’d been waiting for, a very special Wedding on The Office. Matt Damon showed up on the Entourage finale, and got a good one in on Drama. And Glee proves that it is easily the most quotable show on television today.

The Office

“What are you doing?” — Oscar
“I’m trying to decide if I have time to pee.” — Kevin
“How long do you take to pee?” — Oscar
“The peeing is fast, Oscar. It’s getting my tie back on.” — Kevin

FlashForward

“I’m the CEO of the airline. All the executives are taking flights today, to prove to the customers that the skies are safe again.” — CEO
“How’s that working out for you?” — Zoey
“Gangbusters. Another scotch” — CEO

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Dollhouse

“The human mind is like Van Halen. If you just pull out one piece and keep replacing it, it just degenerates.” — Topher

Big Bang Theory

“I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested.” — Sheldon

“Just fine … ah dude, the fourth Harry Potter movie was just fine!” — Raj
–
“[fine is] a perfectly good word. You put in front of wine or dining and you’ve got something!” — Penny
“Let me ask you this: How was last night for you?” — Leonard
“It was … OK” — Penny
“OK?” — Leonard
“Its a perfectly good word … If you put in front of dokey and you’ve really got something!” — Penny

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The writing was always an incredibly important part to the success of the show. Aaron Sorkin, all things being equal, is probably the best dialogue writer on television. Ever (Yes, I said ever). When he left after season four, it took some time for the show to find its voice again, but I contend that it did with style. These quotes are a sampling of the brilliance that I’m talking about. Bare with me: some of these exchanges are long, but trust me when I say that they are worth your time:

Season One

“About a week ago I accidentally slept with a prostitute.” — Sam
“Really?” — Toby
“Yes.” — Sam
“You accidentally slept with a prostitute.” — Toby
“Call girl.” — Sam
“Accidentally.” — Toby
“Yes.” — Sam
“I don’t understand. Did you trip over something?” — Toby

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