Tara’s back Guest-Clacking for us again, after confessing that she’s addicted to celebrity reality TV last time she wrote.

The Mister and I were there for the first season of Sober House, because, as I mentioned in my last guest clack, we do not miss a moment of this kind of stuff. Hey, I feel no shame. I think that there are a lot of us out there who can admit our supreme jealousy towards the famous (or even the quasi). And most of the time we just have to live with that icky feeling in our guts. Until a celebrity gets fat, arrested, hooked, divorced, or in any other way goes down in flames while filming it. Then they are fair game, people.

With this in mind, let’s discuss the first episode of Sober House. For those of you still in the dark, here’s the 411. Dr. Drew Pinsky, head psychologist and “sober upper” of celebrities, has a show you may have heard of called Celebrity Rehab. In it, we follow a handful of really sick and doped out famous people, during their first month of sobriety. Dr. Drew counsels along the way, until they “graduate.”

That’s when the good Doc gives them the choice of whether or not to continue their recovery at Sober House. Many choose to go home and chance it. Others choose to keep making money from VH1 and go to Sober House, for a few additional weeks of filming. That was mean. I meant that many choose to commit to ongoing recovery at an assisted living facility, never thinking of the extra money and exposure they’ll get.

This year, we follow along as NBA star Dennis Rodman, ex-madam Heidi Fleiss, actor Tom Sizemore, a couple of ex porn stars (Jenni Ketcham and Kendra Rossi), a former very snarky Miss Teen USA (Kari Ann Peniche) and hard rocker Mike Starr–all move into the Sober House.

The house is run by ex-addict-and-actress Jennifer Gimenez, who is one tough lil’ cookie. As she proved last season, Jennifer can handle the worst of the worst addicts. But methinks she may have her hands full this time with Kari Ann Peniche. One episode down, and already the sparks are flying between these two. And it’s no wonder. This Kari Ann girl is a menace. I’ve seen her on three of Dr. Drew’s shows now, and if she screams at a staff member to “get me some f’ing juice!” one more time….

Meanwhile, Tom Sizemore checks in with a crack pipe in his luggage, and Dennis Rodman doesn’t want to follow any rules because “everyone on the planet knows who I am.” Heidi Fleiss is more than bitter that Tom is there (google their past — I don’t have the time to explain). And the porn stars are moping, because there’s no hanky panky allowed.

At the end of the first episode, the Mister and I were all aquiver with the slaps and relapses we are promised this season. Wait. Is that so wrong?

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For all of you worried that the criminal justice system does nothing to rehabilitate hardened criminals, allay your fears. Because if Chris Partlow can become a man of God, the prison system does work.

Okay, so obviously I’m talking about an actor who played two different fictional characters, but seeing Chris (the exceedingly talented Gbenga Akinnagbe) as Pastor Isaiah Easton? Awesome.

And how about the guy playing his father? Does the name Frankie Faison ring any bells? As in, Commissioner Ervin Burrell of the Baltimore Police Department? Burrell and Chris back together again, both pastors, both seemingly not corrupt? Yeah you do. And interestingly enough, all this just a week after I compared Will becoming a drug lawyer to Maury Levy (Michael Kostroff) representing the likes of Avon and Marlo. The Wire is finally becoming part of mainstream consciousness … two years after going off the air.

Anyway, Pastor Isaiah and Eli Gold had a really revealing conversation about Peter and his repentance. I don’t like the idea of politicians seeking out God to cleanse themselves, but the discussion that Eli and Isaiah had spells out exactly what I think Peter is being blind to. As far as his camp is concerned, Peter’s done his penance. And I think he considers that true in the case of his family as well. But he hasn’t! And the good pastor was right on the money there. Peter owes his family and the public a lot, and the truth is that he shouldn’t dare focus on healing his public image until he’s repaired the damage he’s done to his family. They’re already polling? Wake up Alicia, and slap some sense into Peter, because no one else is going to tell him that what he’s doing is demeaning and disrespectful to you.

Once again this week I really enjoyed seeing Will as a lawyer. I think he was great throughout the entire emergency hearing, and in dealing with the gratingly irritating Patti Nyholm (Martha Plimpton) — could she have used her baby as a prop any more? But my skin crawled when he and Alicia kissed. First of all, up until the moment that they actually physically connected, there was nothing there. I know that a lot of you disagree with me, and that’s fine, but I don’t see any chemistry between them. She put her hand on his shoulder … that’s it! This entire relationship drama is completely synthetic, and it did not shine a very good light on Alicia.

But that was nothing compared to her and Peter. As gross as what she did was, taking out her sexual needs on him, and as stupid as it was because it gives him the impression that they’re working through their problems, there’s also the fact that seeing the two of them lying there together was so completely gross, I can’t even discuss it. They’re just really not pretty together. Yuck.

I didn’t expect Will to be someone who’d continue using Peter as an asset after everything he did, both while in office and also to Alicia personally. That really disappointed me. But was anyone else so completely turned off by the way Peter and Will had like a parent/teacher conference about how Alicia was doing at work? It so minimizes her, so demeans her, and she doesn’t say anything!

Alicia lets a surprising number of things go, and that, combined with what Peter’s doing, makes me worried that this show is going to go in a direction that we might not like to see. Namely, Peter reassuming the driver’s seat in their marriage, their life, and by default the series. This show is great when Alicia is in charge. I mean, I enjoy Kalinda and Will, and Cary in small doses. And the kids can be good here and there as well.

But The Good Wife is about how Alicia Florrick persevered after her husband left her life in shambles. Not how she decided to continue working even after he’s re-elected. This is not that show. And I hope I’m wrong about what I’m seeing.

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Last night concluded an odd bit of plotting on NCIS, don’t you think? First Ducky switched to ties to please his lady friend. Then he went back to bow ties after breaking up with her. All in the span of a week. I know it’s minor, but then why bother with it at all? I’m wondering if there might be some greater significance here, like teaching us to keep an eye on Ducky’s neckwear in the future for a window to his moods. Maybe that was all just scaffolding for some future construct.

If that’s the case, I’d actually take Ducky singing over any other hints that his mood is jolly. Wasn’t that great when he sang as he and Palmer walked across the beach to what they thought at the time was a dead Navy diver? Who, by the way, looked a lot more like a shriveled doll than anything else. At least from the angle we saw him from when the Marine stumbled upon him. Unless he was familiar with the wetsuit, I don’t know how in the world he spotted that.

What did everybody think of CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin? Diane Neal, who played Borin, actually just did a guest spot on White Collar as an FBI agent. However, she’s best known as ADA Casey Novak on Law & Order: SVU. And I think she’s much better on the legal side of things. She was not great on White Collar, and she was really not great last night on NCIS.

Which might, by the way, be because I didn’t see anything of Gibbs in her mannerisms. And maybe we weren’t meant to, but the fact that everyone else involved was seeing it, and talking about it, made it impossible not to think about the idea that Borin was a female Gibbs. Which she absolutely wasn’t. So she slapped her subordinate on the back of the head. So what? That was the writers and the director telling Neal how to imitate Gibbs, not Neal channeling Gibbs. I didn’t see it at all.

And not only did I not see it, but I thought she was a terrible investigator, a terrible interrogator, and a terrible character. Some of you might hope she returns for a variety of reasons — CGIS versus NCIS, Gibbs versus Borin, or Gibbs and Borin romantically linked — but I for one hope we never see her again.

For those of you who watch Criminal Minds, I want to mention something that my wife said to me as we were watching a scene between Gibbs and Tony on NCIS last night. The friendly, playful banter that they toss back and forth … that’s what Criminal Minds is missing these days. And I don’t know where it went, because it’s not like they increased the amount of time that the BAU spends just focusing on cases. But the banter that makes the NCIS team so great is currently missing on Criminal Minds. Just glance over at Tuesday nights for some pointers, writers!

But back to the show at hand. I have to admit something to you all … I had no idea that Richard Dreyfuss was in Jaws. No way! Does he play a major role? I’ve never seen the movie, and never had any desire to, but this news might change that. Thanks Tony!

Oh, and did anyone find Abby as a frustrated mess endearing? If so, please tell me how and why, because I just found her annoying. It always surprises me that Gibbs has so much (relative) patience for her. I guess he has a soft spot for Goth?

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With The Rolling Stones being showcased in this edition of American Idol, what could possibly go wrong?  Not much, really.  But the contestants continual dumbing down of Stones’ tunes made for mostly loungey schmooze.    There were no “ya-yas” in evidence this evening, let me tell you.

Michael Lynche:  “Miss You”  What the hell was that, Michael?  Schmoozy, jazzy, smarmy gooey-ness.  Ugh.  It worked well for you last week, but this week it just didn’t come across.  Frantic, dude.  (Kara:  Shut it.)

Didi Benami:  “Play With Fire”  Didi’s signature lilt came through on this Stones tune, slow though it was.  It was adequate — that’s it.

Casey James:  “It’s All Over Now”  Choppy fuzzy guitar suited the performance.  Casey, as usual, has nothing to worry about.   (And who knew Casey’s mother was MacKenzie Phillips, Valerie Bertinelli’s sister on the old ’70s/’80s show “One Day At A Time”?)

Lacey Brown:  “Ruby Tuesday”  Lacey was coming along just fine, albeit a bit haltingly.  Then came that bridge.  Everybody waver!  Randy was right — interesting selection and performance.  (“I kinda like the drama …”  Oh, Kara.  Just shut up.)

Andrew Garcia:  “Gimme Shelter”  All of a sudden, Andrew has become completely one-dimensional.  I used to like him … but that was years ago during the audition rounds.  And that time came and went.  (Andrew:  Wouldn’t surprise me a bit if you were headed home during elimination.)

Wait, wait, wait!  It’s a Ryan Seacrest Moment:  “After this, another Stones hit coming to you from Katie Stevens.”  Really?  Are you sure?  Because I was so hoping we could break out into some Celine Dion, Ryan.

Katie Stevens:  “Wild Horses”  Forgettable … despite the fact the judges saw otherwise. I found it bland as paste.

Tim Urban:  “Under My Thumb”  White boy can’t do reggae.  No rasta, mon.

Siobhan Magnus:    “Paint It Black”  You know, Siobhan: WowZah.  This was a spiffy performance (see video below) and, in my book, you got my vote as female contestant of the week.    (“I’m having flashbacks of Adam Lambert.”  Kara?  Shut up.)

Lee DeWyze:  “Beast Of Burden”  Yep.  It felt like I was in back of this beast pushing it up a hill with it refusing to yield.  What a burden.

Paige Miles:  “Honky Tonk Woman”   Ugh.  Nothing good to say here.  (“The young Paige is back.”  Kara?  Shut it.)

Aaron Kelly:  “Angie”  Again, another WowZah performance.  The kid do’d goodly.  When I heard Stones tunes were in the mix for this episode, I wondered what could Aaron possibly pick that would suit him?  Turns out “Angie” was the ticket that fit him to a “T”.  I saw growth in that performance.  Where did that come from?

Crystal Bowersox:  “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”  Can this girl do anything wrong with a song?  It oozes out of her, makes its way right into the microphone and comes out with so much character there’s nothing to improve.  A performance is coming where she stumbles and falls … but we won’t know that until it hits us full in the face when we least expect it.

Overall — with the exception of a very few performances — everyone was bland and colorless.  Even the judges (with the exception of bubbly Randy Jackson) didn’t seem completely into the contestants.  There will be those days.

I’m going out on a limb and predict Andrew Garcia takes a hike during elimination.  His time is done.  If he remains, it will be the same old same old from the guy.

And no one wants to see that.

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Well, for the first time this season, I can say that I was genuinely disappointed with an episode of Lost. With such a phenomenal outing last week, and really a stellar season up until now, I suppose it was inevitable. Unfortunately for Lost, and for us, I think the we saw the peak and genius of the flashsideways last week. This week was certainly a fine example of the storytelling technique, but had nowhere near the depth that Ben’s flash did. In Sawyer’s flash, we saw that his life took a decidedly different turn, with the conman instead becoming a police officer.

It seemed like there was a whole lot of set up, but not a lot of anything else in this episode. Even the flashsideways seemed to be setting up more flashsideways stories. It was hardly a complete journey and seemed only to introduce Sawyer’s life and predicament and have him, quite literally, bump into Kate. There were some nice nods, as we have become accustomed to. Sawyer had a date with Charlotte, Charlie’s brother was looking for him at the police station, and Sawyer’s partner was Miles. I smell a spin off! Who wouldn’t watch a buddy cop show with Sawyer and Miles? Seriously, that would be pretty awesome.

Back on the island the action was hardly more compelling. Locke sent Sawyer on a “recon” mission to find out the situation on Hydra Island. Turns out old friend Widmore docked his sub there. Again, I’m glad to have Charles back in the picture, as there is obviously a lot of resolution to his story that needs to be revealed.

I guess, at the end of the day, I’m just not a fan of Sawyer’s behavior this season. I understand that much of it comes from grief (and I’m pretending that during his longing snuggle with Kate’s old Hydra dress he was really thinking about Juliet, or else it would certainly cheapen that whole relationship). His actions right now just seem incredibly selfish. Even if his big plan, which isn’t that big of a plan, works, he’s going to end up stranding or harming the rest of the people on the island, including some of his friends. This is hardly the redemption that I was hoping to see from the character. I am hoping that this was all just set up to make his moment of heroism all the more meaningful, but for now, I’m annoyed. In my book, this was a step backward for Sawyer’s character arc. Plus, I’m really sick of hearing him say he’s not “with Locke.” All I’ve seen from him this season is blind obedience to the Smokey John Locke. Just because he has some ulterior motive to “sneak away when no one is looking,” it doesn’t really mean he’s not on his side.

At least we have some things to look forward to. Namely next week’s episode, which is the long awaited tale of Richard Alpert’s past. I’m hopefully, and fairly certain, that it is going to have some juicy information in it for us.

There are a few things that I’m going to be stewing on for the rest of the week, and will most likely discuss them in next Monday’s column: Kate’s conversation with Smokey regarding his crazy mother (it seemed to me to not be in regards to Locke’s crazy mother, but Smokey’s), and what might be in the locked room in the sub. There are so many possibilities.

What did you think of tonight’s episode? Was I way off base with my assessment?

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I love Damages, but I think this was the first time that I was actually giddy during the “previously on” segment. When it began with a clip of Patty and Frobisher, I knew that it meant Ted Danson was going to be making a guest appearance.

I loved the character of Frobisher during the first season and was a little disappointed with how the character was used during the second season. He has been completely absent from the third season to date, and after watching this episode I’m slightly intrigued by where his story may be going. The only complaint that I have is that it seems completely ancillary at this point. Is the story going to go anywhere? Is it going to have any bearing on the main characters in this show? Even if it really is just a diversion, it promises to be an amusing one, especially if we get to see an actress trying to play Patty.

There were also some nice character moments in this episode. I don’t know about you, but I just can’t get enough of Patty dressing down people. I loved her taking Jill to task, offering to pay her off to leave her son alone. This whole plot is a bit cliche, though. How many times have we seen someone try to get rid of an unwanted child-in-law with money or favors. Heck, the same exact thing happened on Nip/Tuck only weeks ago.

There was a lot more going on in this episode other than Frobisher and Patty’s attitude. In fact, it seems like things really started to kick into gear. We saw a lot more of the future in this episode. It looks like maybe Tom and Ellen are not going to having an affair, in the sexual sense, anyway. If Ellen is not lying to the police, she and Tom are going to plan on opening a law firm together. It makes me even more sad about Tom’s death, as that scenario would have been fun for a hypothetical fourth season.

Jumps in time also showed us how deep Lenny is into all of the Tobin issues. It was revealed that Winstone was the person who was throwing away Tobin evidence on Thanksgiving night. I can’t imagine that that is going to turn out well for him, along with his prints (or Lester Wiggins’s prints) on Ellen’s bloody handbag. We also saw that Lenny and Tom had a secret meeting before Tom’s death, with Lenny handing a large bag of money to the future corpse. My guess is that he’s protecting Carol. After all, we saw in the present day in this episode that Ellen and Tom were tracking down Carol without Patty knowing much about it. They could easily flip that information without telling Patty, using it to get some of that dirty Tobin money to start up a law firm. Of course, this is Damages, and there’s still time for three or four more twists.

As always, I’m eagerly awaiting them!

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Where does someone like Greek’s Cappie come from? An excellent question if I do say so myself. And not just because we finally got to meet his parents last night … okay, that might have a little to do with my timing.

But it is still a good question. For a good guy, a caring friend, and a loving boyfriend, Cappie can be surprisingly mean and un-evolved. And for the president of a hard-partying fraternity, he can be unsuspectingly insightful, thoughtful, and, well, caring. So where does a guy like that come from?

We knew “hippies.” But did we know specifically who April (Lea Thompson) and Tobias (Jim Abele) would turn out to be? I know I wasn’t prepared for April’s pan flute rendition of “Let’s Get Physical” while Cappie and Casey were alone in the tent, no matter how open-minded they might be. He is still their son, after all.

And what I expected even less was the key to who Cappie is. He’s a drifter who’s finally been allowed to settle somewhere in life. Kappa Tau is the first home he’s known, his brothers and Casey the first stable family he’s ever had the opportunity to settle in with. And Casey walked away from her talk with April with the impression that she and Cappie were a “short story” about to conclude? I was frustrated at how she pushed Cappie, but she didn’t hear anything that April said to her. All she heard, which she then applied to her relationship with Cappie, was that they had an expiration date. I’m so upset with her for that, for totally missing who Cappie is and what he needs from her … maybe she doesn’t even deserve him.

The other Cartwright, meanwhile, was busy getting his swerve on. Can you believe that Rusty sought default dating advice from Beaver and Heath? That entire scene was hilarious. And that he then repeated it to Ashleigh like gospel? What a sweet, dumb kid.

Who made a terrible choice, by the way. I don’t like Katherine, but I think she is the way she is because she’s never really experienced anything beyond the need to excel in life. Socially she’s Rusty as an incoming freshman. But beyond that, she’s a much better match for Rusty than the annoying Dana. Unless, of course, Dana only acted how she did because she liked Rusty but he didn’t like her back, creating an awkwardness between them that would disappear if they dated. That we’ve yet to discover.

The writers of Greek really need to reconsider whether it makes sense for the kids on the show to be so familiar with John Hughes references. I know they have a great respect for him, and apparently Dobblers is an homage to Say Anything, but would these current college kids know who he was or watch his movies? I’m not so sure.

Some other stuff worth mentioning:

• Pledge checkers looks awesome. I’ve only ever seen chess played by humans — I loved Beaver studying the rules — and I thought it looked like so much fun. For everyone other than the pieces, of course.
• Dale meeting Evan for the first time. I suppose it never occurred to me that they’d never met. And I certainly didn’t realize just how many things Dale had to hate Evan for. “You’ll get one of my deep-fried snacks when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands.”
• Are Daley and Laura an item? Their messy table exchange seemed a bit heavy on double entendre and winks.
• If they didn’t have a history together, it would have been stolen straight out of a movie. But the fact that there’s history there meant that Evan punching Rusty was awesome. Will that start the ball rolling on what’s sure to be some epic payback by the KTs? I can’t wait to find out.

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Apparently there was a direction that the writers of Rules of Engagement had available to them as far as Timmy was concerned that I hadn’t considered. And wouldn’t you know it, but that was the one they chose — integrate him into the group … possibly as a replacement for Adam instead of Russell?

We’ll get to the speculative part of that sentence in a minute. But I did not see Timmy being assimilated into the boys club on this show. Because, really, how many put-upon and abused assistants does that happen to? In fact, when Timmy got excited about the trip to Atlantic City, I was a little surprised not to hear Russell make some joke about how he was most definitely not invited. Can the writers really include him with the rest of the boys while still maintaining the abusive relationship that he and Russell have?

And as for my speculation that Timmy is actually replacing the slowly disappearing Adam? Well, that’s just basic arithmetic. It made some story sense for Timmy to become an extension of Russell, what with Timmy running all of Russell’s incredibly awkward personal errands. But if Timmy becomes a hangout buddy, and Adam continues to be as non-existent as he’s been this season … well, what else is a viewer to think?

Which would leave the show’s success contingent on three things: Audrey and Jeff’s chemistry, Russell and Jeff’s banter, and Timmy. The first two are as strong as ever, and while Timmy’s still a bit of an unknown, he has the potential to open up a great dimension on the show. But no Jeff and Adam? No Russell and Adam? That’s 50% of what makes this show so funny. Jennifer, on the other hand, can be eaten by bears.

All of that being said, last night’s episode wasn’t actually all that good. What it had going for it was that the “they don’t know we know they know” was between Audrey and Jeff, a great combo team. But the execution could have been a whole lot better.

And Russell could stand to be a whole lot better in general this season. Last night was him at his best since the premiere, but most times it feels as if David Spade is just phoning it in, which he hadn’t been doing for the past three seasons. He’s a funny guy, and when he’s putting in some effort, it shows.

Although I did laugh at his Foghorn Leghorn. You have to wonder where those ideas come from. The writers decide Russell’s going to pretend to be a doctor. Then somehow he, or they, decide he’ll do so impersonating a cartoon chicken. Or Spade does a good Leghorn, and the writers figured out a way for him to show off his impersonation while playing a doctor. Either way, the creative process involved seems rather interesting, no? What would be cool is if Spade’s attempt at whatever voice he wanted to do just came out as Leghorn, and he improvised the catchphrases and nuances as he went, from some buried childhood memories. I wonder.

And while I haven’t checked it out myself, it looks as if CBS is picking up on the slew of successful How I Met Your Mother fake websites. Go see what Timmy has up his sleeve at Timmystrikesback.com.

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Woohoo! 24 kicked it up a notch with this episode, making up for the past couple of slow hours. This episode had it all — kidnapping, shootouts, double-crossings, secret files, bombs, and suspicious glances flying across the aisles at CTU.

Although I don’t like Kayla, I finally got sucked into the kidnapping story, especially when Tarin seemingly succumbed to his feelings for her and tried to help her escape. When they made that mad dash for the exit, I was like, “WHAT?” After confirming last week that Tarin was a total scumbag, were we really now going to find out that he’s a big softie? I’ll admit — I totally fell for it. Well done, 24 writers. You got me (for once). I believed for one brief shining moment that love had conquered all.

Then Arlo’s drones finally worked for once, and we saw Tarin alive and well, looking like he had just double-crossed someone and was a little bit sorry about it but also a little bit proud of himself for pulling it off so well. You bad man.

I loved how chaotic the ending was. The EMP knocked out everything at CTU, and while this certainly must be very bad for the city of New York, it’s probably a good thing for Dana Walsh. I don’t think she turned herself in yet, and now maybe she’ll be able to put off Mr. Prady, Kevin’s (utterly obnoxious) probation officer. What’s up with that guy anyway? Maybe Prady is just an honest person … or maybe he’s up to no good. Regardless, I can’t stand him. I want to poke his eyes out.

One other thing worth mentioning — File 33. President Hassan probably has plenty more secrets where that came from. I think it’s interesting that Hassan had this devastating information in his possession and could have used it against the U.S. It shows that he chose peace even though he could have chosen to be like Samir and Tarin. It also shows that he’s hiding some extra cards up his sleeve. President Taylor, I’m sure, will have something to say about this. Fortunately, Madame Boring was not a part of this episode. Perhaps she’ll resurface next week. I actually prefer watching the interesting dynamic between Hassan and his wife.

What did you think of the episode? Leave a comment, and share your thoughts.

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“Her subconscious is trying to tell her something. We have to eavesdrop.” – House, regarding the patient’s hallucination
“She was screaming she was being sucked into a black hole, so we should look for a tumor in her anus.” – Taub

This was an interesting episode of House for me. I’m not sure what to think, and I’m not sure why I feel that way. I definitely enjoyed it, even though the case of the week makes me want to take a shower … ewww. We got some interesting House / Wilson dynamics, though with few hi-jinks. And Taub … what do you make of Taub? I think I’ve fallen down the black hole that is House this week….

Does furniture really make the man, or was this just another way of House yanking Wilson’s chain? I tend to agree with House — Wilson really doesn’t know who he is, but is choosing his own furniture really going to make that big of a statement? We got a great montage of Wilson furniture shopping and the professionally decorated room looks great. You know and I know that the very best part was the “Phantom of the Opera” organ that Wilson bought for House: “You’re going to have to buy your own cape.”

However, how does that purchase help Wilson define who he is? Are we to conclude that Wilson is simply a selfless soul who can’t indulge himself? If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Another question that we will perhaps never know the answer to.

Speaking of figuring out what makes people tick, why is Taub trying so hard on his marriage when I assume he is, in fact, screwing around with the cute blonde nurse, or thinking about it? When Chase (or was it Foreman?) told Taub that he wanted his wife happy but only if he was, it seemed to foreshadow that Taub was always going to be the self-serving guy. Asking his wife to marry him was romantic, but seeing as he only did it for the pat on the back he could give to himself, does it count?

I’m going to lump all of my questions into one theory now — the Black Hole theory. House often centers the theme of an episode around its title, and here we have the black hole that is Wilson finding himself, the black hole that is Taub’s marriage and the black hole of House trying to figure everyone else out.

I’ve got to touch upon the cognitive pattern recognition and say that it’s real and it’s cool. And the boyfriend’s dad is such a complete scumbag that I’m definitely going to scrub down now.

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Even at two hours long, I was really excited for last night’s season premiere of The Celebrity Apprentice. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t watch it anyway, but the addition of a bunch of quasi-celebrities a few seasons back revamped this show in a major way. Now the laughs come from who the contestants think they are just as much as what it is they’re doing from week to week.

As the show has done before, this year the games began with the men pitted against the women. That will change as the women get decimated — and they will, judging by this group — but for now it’s the battle of the sexes. And boy are these two teams different.

Team “Rock Solid,” led this week by Bret Michaels of the band Poison, was functional, agreeable, and cohesive. Meanwhile, team “Tenacity,” led by this week’s project manager Cyndi Lauper, was as dysfunctional, and full of chaos and in-fighting, as they could possibly get. To the point that, if it were scripted, I might have fast-forwarded through all of their scenes. The personalities on that team do not match, and while that usually makes for a lot of fun, here it was just one big mess.

One of the great things about the new Apprentice is that we get to “meet” people thus far unknown to us, who become part of our “celebrity” vocabulary (I will never stop inserting quotes around that word when discussing the contestants on this show). In years past that’s included Clint Black, Trace Adkins, Piers Morgan, Stephen Baldwin, and Jesse James for me. This year, I’m ready to add Curtis Stone.

When I wrote my preview of this season’s cast, I had no idea who he was. I still don’t, but he’s definitely the first person I’ve connected with. Him and Goldberg, who actually is a rather funny guy when he’s not scaring the crap out of you with those arms. And it was definitely Curtis’ task to lose last night.

Although I must say two things. One, running a diner in midtown Manhattan is not the same as running five star restaurants around the world, and the fact that Donald Trump never makes those distinctions is a bit odd (would he be successful running a Bed & Breakfast? Unlikely.). Two, this game has progressively become more and more about who has the best contacts. And last night I got the impression that everyone was calling in their “A” games. For the first task. I seriously hope I’m wrong, because no friend no matter how close is going to come to the rescue for 15 straight tasks. Year one saw a lot more creative effort put into the tasks. Year two less so. I just hope year three is a return to form, not a continuation of a downward progression.

Anyway, I was enjoying the episode tremendously until Mama Rivers showed up. I don’t want to get bogged down in her again this season, so I’ll just say that I hope that was the first and last that we’ll see of her.

The women got trounced, and I guess the reason is the old connections game again. Because even raising their prices wouldn’t have saved them … unless someone had thought to put in an express take-out line. That’s actually a market that both teams missed, and it would have solved the women’s space issue. Either way, they lost by $28,000, not counting the $10,000 they got because the men let Mama Rivers’ food get cold. That’s serious.

And I couldn’t believe how pathetic they all were in that boardroom. Not a single one of them has the fire to get through this competition. I was really surprised that everyone was so afraid to speak up. The fact that they lost, and that Cyndi couldn’t pick anyone to come back to the boardroom with her, should have proved her lack of leadership ability, and led her to be fired. I think Carol Leifer getting the boot was the first sign of Trump favoritism for the season. Lauper beats Leifer in publicity. But good for Carol for asking for a donation to her charity.

Overall, I’m looking forward to what’s to come. Some other fun stuff from last night:

• I will never be able to pronounce his name, nor spell it, so Rod Blagojevich will henceforth be some form of “Governor.” And the first nickname of the season is bestowed!
• Genius of Sharon Osbourne to do radio publicity, but how unfair is that if you compare it to what was available to contestants on the original Apprentice? As soon as she proved it was her, Sharon got on the air. So cool.
• Seeing the Govna (see above) as a waiter was funny, but his constant proclamations of innocence? “I didn’t do those things, by the way.” Are we going to get an entire season of that?
• Holly Robinson Peete is going to seriously butt heads with Sharon Osbourne. Count on it.
• I’m surprised by the salty language this season. Trump’s, not the contestants. Do certain contestants just get his testosterone flowing, or is something else in the air?
• I’ve never seen his show (a lot of these “celebrities” seem to be reality show hopping), but I was really surprised by Bret Michaels. I had a totally different picture of him, but he didn’t come across at all like I thought he would. In a good way.

One other thought I had. I hold no good feelings for the man, but how in the world is the Govna going to compete on this show? Unlike the athletes, models, actors, or whatever, who are competing or have competed, he was the Governor of Illinois. Forget about whether or not this is dignified of him … he’s walking in there with better executive credentials than the guy whose show this is. How’s he going to manage? I think that’ll be something to watch.

And how could I forget to mention — Don Don’s back! Yay!

“How old is Edith?” – Don Don to Cyndi, after she said that her friend Edith had a crush on Donald Trump

“You’re beautiful, many of you.” – Trump to the female “celebrities” in the boardroom

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“Those of you who are lucky enough to get home for Christmas: hold your loved ones dearly. Join them in prayers for peace on Earth and goodwill toward all men. Then report back here, ready to sail across God’s vast ocean, where we will meet our enemy … and kill them all.” — Col. Puller

I’m a huge fan of HBO’s Band of Brothers mini-series. Alongside Saving Private Ryan, it’s just an incredible series of film representing the horrors and triumphs of European-based WWII and America’s involvement in it. Anytime I had asked my late Grandfather about his time in the war, he wasn’t able to convey what it was like in Normandy or anywhere else in Europe, since he was stationed in areas of the Pacific islands. HBO now gives us a chance to see what things were like on the other side of the world during that time.

HBO’s The Pacific is probably my most anticipated show of the Spring, and so far it doesn’t disappoint. Things start out rather quickly in showing you that Guadalcanal isn’t like the beaches of Normandy, though it doesn’t hold back from showing you that it’s not at all sunshine and coconuts. To use Producer Tom Hanks’s words: you’ll feel like a big, fat pussy after watching this show.

The opening credits alone give goosebumps, even after seeing it several times. Tell me you’re able to fast forward through them, even after seeing them a third time. The battle scenes are very impressive, especially those we see of the oceangoing vessels and their mighty guns. It appears that technology has improved the CGI used in these scenes, as they seemed incredibly massive and realistic — an improvement over Band of Brothers, which still was an impressive piece of work. It makes sense, though, as this is supposedly the most expensive min-series ever created.

One review I read on the series — or, at least, the first three episodes — was the lack of depth given to the characters, such that we don’t really “care” about them enough to truly feel what they are going through. But isn’t that the point of a ten-episode journey? They don’t want to bore people too much with the personal lives of these soldiers early on — something that might take 2-3 episodes to complete. No, we need to be brought into the mess as quickly as possible and let us care about how much these young men went through to get to the end. By the time the ninth or tenth hour approaches, I’m sure we’ll have those deep feelings for these characters that appears lacking early on.

The family Christmas dinner in the early part of this episode contains a bit of sad realization for the viewer, as the home-bound brother wishes for them to be home for the next year’s Christmas. As we know from history, many families will be without their sons for several years — or forever. It’s when we see the subtitle stating “August 7, 1942″ in only the first hour that there’s a long road ahead for these boys.

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I like Tyler Labine — I really do. I loved him in Reaper, and when I heard the show was canceled, I was hopeful we’d see Labine in something new soon. Well, even before the official Reaper cancellation was final and confirmed, it was mentioned that Labine was going to be in this new comedy, Sons of Tucson. Fans were both elated and frightened — elated that Labine found another way to be on TV, and frightened that their fears of Reaper’s fate were solidified. We all know how that ended … and here we have it: Sons of Tucson is here. So, how is it?

When our TVs and DVRs are filled with new comedy greats such as Modern Family, Community, The Middle and Cougar Town, there’s going to be some really high expectations for anything else new to vie for precious viewing and recording space. Unfortunately, Sons of Tucson isn’t in the same league as these new shows, and it’s only good for a very few laughs. It pretty much stinks.

I’m actually two episodes into the series so far, and that’s about as far as I’m willing to go. You would think that maybe these kids that Ron (Labine) is stuck helping out would turn out pretty likable, but I mostly found everyone on the show pretty despicable to the point that anything nasty they did made me more angry than make me laugh. There’s also one huge plot hole that sort of makes the whole putting-Ron-in-the-shed thing make no sense: once these kids decided to make Ron pose as their dad, Ron had them over a barrel. There’s no replacing the guy who you said was your dad. Maybe that’s the funny part that I’m just not seeing.

Anyway, if there’s going to be a regular post about the show here, it won’t be from me. Now, instead of being happy to see Labine on TV again in a comedic role, I’m hoping the show tanks so he can move on to something better. Since this is FOX, odds are pretty good.

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Cold Open: Massa Exit Interview — With all the talk of this in the past week, I was near certain the cold open tonight would have to do with Massa and his tickle parties and, eh, “snorkeling” stuff. In hindsight, I guessing most people made that assumption early in the week.

Monologue: Jude Law — I’m not all that into Broadway stage, so this didn’t strike me funny really. Law was definitely comfortable up there, though.

Ford Hybrid Commercial — Funny, but too short! Then again, it could have gone on too long and then we’d say it should have quit while it was ahead.

Secret Word — The size of the package on Law’s Vladimir was hysterical. Also, for the secret word “vodka”: “If your baby is thirsty it drink this.” Or how about “steamed eggs in picked water” for your birthday?

Broadview Security — I swear I saw another skit in the past about Broadview Security, but I can’t seem to place when that was. Anyway, I particularly loved how this skit poked fun at these insane commercials of real security products, where a HUGE house is occupied by a single woman.

Welcome to Spain: Have an Adventure — Not really sure what to say about this one other than I loved Law in it, hence my photo choice above.

SNL Digital Short: A Boombox is Not a Toy — Oh you just knew I’d do the lyrics for this puppy. And here they are. But before that, who was the other guy with Samberg in this sketch singing?

Imagine in your mind a posh country club
The stuffy old money where the poor get snubbed
The spread is bland
Sourkraut and boiled goose
There’s no way these people
Will ever cut loose

Then I walk in the room
Hold my boombox high
And what happened next
Will blow your mind

Everything got out of control
The music was so entrancing
Everyone got out on the floor
It was a bunch of old white people dancing

The Big Apple, where people never dance
Spirits go down while profits expand
The cops or the dealers
Who’s got the juice?
The street vendors peddling
Their boiled goose

So many types of people
They’ll never get along
‘Til I bust out my boombox
And play this song

The music washed away all their hate
And society started advancing
The demographic was represented
It was a rainbow coalition of dancing

Whoa! Everyone was wearing fingerless gloves
Whoa! I saw a Spanish guy doing the Bartman

Transport now
To an old folks home
Where the elderly are tossed
On their brittle bones
The orderlies are stealing
There’s no excuse
Everyday for lunch they eat boiled goose

So I grab my boombox
And hit the Turbo Bass
And what happened next
Was a total disgrace

Everybody started having sex
The music was way too powerful
The old people where fucking like rabbits
It was disgusting to say the least

Oh! A boombox can change the world
You gotta know your limits with a boombox
This was a cautionary tale
A boombox is not a toy!

Musical Guest: Pearl Jam — These guys sounded decent, and pretty much the same as I remember them sounding from the ’90s, in particular Eddie Vedder. He even has the same odd looks on his face when he’s singing, sorta looking off into the sky/ceiling as he sings, his eyes nearly rolling back into his head.

Weekend Update — If any guest was ever perfectly fit for the “Really!?!” sketch, it’s Jerry Seinfeld. “Why do I get the sinking feeling that ‘Massa Massages’ were quickly followed by massabations?” Was a great addition to Weekend Update, but anytime I see Jerry on TV now — especially on NBC — it’s because he’s basically begging people to watch whatever movie or TV show he’s involved with at the time.

Twilight Zone –Hader did a great Rod Serling. The best part of this sketch was Pearl Jam appearing on the wing of the plane in the final outside scene.

Jude Law’s Audition — Some of the current SNL cast can pull off some really decent impressions. I especially get a kick out of Samberg’s Nick Cage.

Kickspit Underground Rock Festival — This is a reused sketch from last year, but it’s still funny as hell.

Elinda Nade: Court Stenographer — Elinda is a character we saw once before with Jon Hamm in January. It was funny the first time, but since we saw it already, this felt like nothing new.

Talk Show with Ravish — This was actually more depressing than funny, because I’m betting there are families out there with fathers who pressure their already excelling kids. The funniest part was probably “Jay Leno Walking with Ravish.”

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Allison and Joe were so cute in this episode that I nearly died. Going back to revisit their wedding was a brilliant idea. I’ve always been curious about their past, and while we’ve heard about it in snippets here and there before, it was nice to actually see them back then. The show did a really good job of taking us back to this time, while still keeping in step with the rest of the show. It didn’t feel overly cheesy or desperate as flashback episodes often do.

Before I get into the actual episode, I would be remiss if I didn’t make a comment about the hair and makeup. Between lighting, camera filters, hair and makeup, the people working on this episode did an amazing job of making Joe and Allison look 17 years younger. I’ve seen enough bad wigs on TV coughHeroescough to be able to spot them a mile away, but if I hadn’t known better, I would have thought that both Joe and Allison’s hair was the real deal.

There were a couple of points in this episode where Medium started to lose me, but then it brought me back in. The biggest was when Allison started having dreams but didn’t seem to know what they were. I had been under the impression, and I mentioned this in the live-blog, that this is something that Allison had been dealing with for years, and that she had started drinking heavily at a young age in order to make them stop. At first, it seemed as though the writers  had forgotten this, and I was about to get pretty annoyed with the show.

While I still think they may have fudged the timeline a bit for dramatic effect, Grandma Benoit came back to explain what Allison was dealing with. From what I gathered, Allison has had visions of dead people for most of her life, but her mother spent a lot of time and energy trying to convince Allison that she just had an active imagination. When she starts having dreams and waking visions about the missing girl, this is the first time she has ever had dreams that have given her information about a crime. At least that’s how I interpreted it.

I love Geoffrey Arend (aka “The Luckiest Man on Earth“) as an actor, so it was a pleasant surprise to see him on this episode playing the killer of the week. Between his awkward rehearsal dinner speech and murdering Ariel, he managed to be creepy all the way through. Speaking of which, as someone who has watched Medium for a long time, I wasn’t necessarily surprised to see Allison dreaming about one of her kids being in danger, but to have Ariel killed in a sex crime by someone who is family (by marriage) was undeniably disturbing. I appreciated that despite the fact this was an overall sweet episode, the writers didn’t pull there punches when it came to the crime.

The one thing that disappointed me about this episode was the resolution of the crime. Joe obviously doesn’t understand Allison’s dreams, and let’s face it: 17 years later he’s still having some problems. So why, after she canceled the wedding and made him think she’s a little crazy, did she not make a point of explaining exactly what happened? When she went to Joe’s room, she was vague and weird about everything, and if I were in that situation, the conversation would have been more like, “Look. I had another dream. It was your cousin, I saw where he dumped the body, I called the police, and they found her right where I said she was. By the way, your family is gross. Also? Suck it, dude. I was totally right.” I mean, I understand if Allison would have dialed it back a bit, but I would imagine she would want to get that basic point across.

So what did you think of the big Medium family reunion?

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“I work with top secret military robots.” – Pilomon
“That’s really hot.” – Zoe

I was actually glad to have the short recap at the start of this episode, since I wasn’t really aware that Zoe was using “Pilomon” as a way of getting the hell out of the lab. I’ve got some idea of why she wants out, though I’m not sure she has any idea how she’s going to get around without making people run around in a panic when they see her walking about.

Did you notice how Joseph Adama made the holobands appear very taboo when trying to get that kid to bring in to see Tamara in the V-World? Look again, and you’ll see he even gave a cocaine-like rub to his nose with a sniff. These things — the holobands — are very quickly becoming big contraband items of Caprica. How long before it’s near impossible to get a holoband without getting arrested?

I said before that I thought V-World could likely come into the forefront more, and here it took up at least half of the episode. One thing they never really get into regarding V-World is why everyone is just so damned angry there. This is a virtual world that’s all about killing, where if you “die” you’re never able to return — there’s no “respawning” in Caprica’s V-World. I’d say the same could be said about any of today’s violent, multiplayer games, but at least there you can keep playing. If things are so dangerous and violent there, then how is anyone able to “frak 50 girls and not need Vinagro?”

Did you notice the “.cap” top level domain for VMatch.cap? No? Alright, must be the altra-IT-geek in me that caught that and found it somewhat funny. The thing is, it’s these little details that relate to today’s world that make me more angry and disappointed with how Battlestar Galactica ended — that these people were supposedly responsible for the evolving of humankind as we know it. And, as it turns out, we instinctualy learned to use top-level domains from them.

As I said, things finally took a step forward when Daniel Graystone looked into the eye of Zoe the Cylon and seemed to have some hope that she was still in there. I’m not convinced at all that she’s ready to reveal herself to him yet, though I’m confident he’ll know before the season is out.

Overall I’m still moping along in this series. There’s little room for things to kick into action, and I’m not sure I want to just settle with that realization. If the series simply fat-forwarded into the Cylon war in season two, I’d be a happy camper. Are you getting sick of my nagging yet?

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Well so far, the Heroes have been consistent in one thing: they are a mess as a tribe. Last week’s elimination of one of the most brilliant social players of all time was a good move for the potential unity of the tribe. The question put to the test this week was if it would work.

The bottom line is that it almost doesn’t matter what alliances you’re on within your own tribe if you go into a merger with a massive disadvantage in the numbers. We have seen people exploit chinks in a larger tribe’s armor for their own benefit; Russell did it last season; but it’s a disadvantage that can be avoided.

Why set yourself up for that uphill battle post-merge by dismantling the strength of your own tribe?

I know Russell is all about sowing discontent within his own tribe, and last season he thrived by dismantling his own group, but he’s in a much different situation now, and for that he’s becoming a bigger target. It looks like Russell’s strategy works as long as people keep going home. The longer everyone sticks around, the more people start to notice him in all the wrong ways.

With only Randy having gone home for the Villians, everyone is seeing him for the snake he is, though poor Coach seems to think he has some honor.

In watching Russell’s tactics, there is no way he would have been able to make it even this far had anyone he’s currently playing with actually seen his season. I’m not sure he could ever be successful again after this season plays out; especially if he does well again (he slithered out from under the knife more than once in his own season).

On the Heroes side, I’m going to have to agree with Tom about James. James’s competitive drive is so strong that he turns into a monster when faced with losing, and he has virtually no tact when talking to people. Tom turned it on a little harsh at Tribal Council with his own assessment of James, but the vitriol wasn’t entirely unearned.

I do feel bad for James, though, getting injured for the second time of his three seasons. He wasn’t medically evacuted, but that could still change. He lucked into a challenge for Immunity where he didn’t have to move around (and I give him credit for doing way better on that than I expected), but that’s not going to last. He’s either going to let his team down or aggravate whatever the hell is wrong with his knee.

Voting out a healthy and still strong Tom over James is a tactical error that no longer surprises me about the Heroes. Collectively, they’re all muscle … including inside their skulls. Once again, the puzzle proved too much for them, and once again they chose boneheaded alliances over the strength of the tribe.

I get that James is a mountain of a man, and he’s an incredible force in challenges, but how do you think he’d do with that knee on that sumo challenge? Or even in the pit for this week’s reward challenge? I agree with Tom that this decision will come back to haunt the Heroes tribe and that they’ll lose James for his injury one way or the other: medical evacuation or finally voting him out.

Down six to nine, you’d think they’d be focused on keeping what’s left of their tribe strong. If they keep losing like this, the producers might not even bother to merge, just let the Heroes waste away until the final person left on the tribe is absorbed by the Villains, the way it went down in already-eliminated Hero Stephenie’s first time out.

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The latest episode of Private Practice was called “Triangles,” and for pretty obvious reasons. Private Practice is swimming in love triangles.

Addison, Sam, and Naomi. Addison, Pete, and Violet. Cooper, Charlotte, and Sheldon. Naomi, Fife, and William. I think a scorecard might be in order.

The biggest triangles (as in multiple), of course, feature Addison Montgomery, who has gotten herself into quite a pickle, sleeping with Violet Turner’s former man/baby daddy, coveting Violet’s child, and foolishly admitting to having carnal feelings about Naomi Bennett’s former husband Sam. Not exactly making herself popular with the gals in the office, is she? I imagine there’ll be a heap o’ problems when Violet finally returns.

During “Triangles,” Addison wildly vacillated between her unrequited feelings for Sam — of which I don’t think we’ve heard the last — and her fear about her growing affections for Lucas, Pete and Violet’s infant son. I, frankly, think that Addison’s just using Pete, despite the fact that she said, “Maybe I could be in love with you too.” Emphasis on the word maybe. Of course Pete was the one who first said, “Maybe I could be in love with you,” but I can’t really get a firm read on his sincerity.

However, if Sheldon Wallace hadn’t told Addison to “grow the hell up,” I don’t think she’d be suggesting to Pete that she could develop feelings for him. I don’t think she loves Pete. I think she loves the fact that Pete’s comfortable, that she doesn’t have to work hard when she’s with him, and that she’s delighted by the fact that he’s already got a kid, right there and ready to love, when she cannot bear one of her own. (Reminds me of Grey’s Callie Torres and McSteamy, only they don’t have a kid. Yet.)

I suspect that Addison’s true feelings, at least for now, are for Sam. Why else would the writers have included that last scene in which Addison told Sam, “You and I were a bad call,” and have her rest her head on him only to have Naomi walk in and feel all betrayed? Why would Addison suddenly cop to the fact that they kissed but that it’s not going anywhere?

And really, Naomi has no business telling off other people when it comes to romance. She’s busy juggling two men. She’s dating her boss, who Pete and Fife know has ALS, only he hasn’t told Naomi and is manipulating her in order to get her to expedite their medical practice’s ALS research. That can’t go anyplace good.

In the same episode, Naomi also asked Fife, who’s already declared his feelings for her, to raise his wheelchair to an upright position so she could plant some passionate kisses on his lips.

The Cooper/Charlotte/Sheldon thing has been plain awkward, from the ick-inducing peach conversation in the elevator, to Cooper and Sheldon’s adolescent scuffle in front of the fridge which left them both with bloody wounds on their faces. Sheldon doesn’t love Charlotte. Charlotte doesn’t love Sheldon. But Sheldon’s willing to fight Cooper and get his nose bloodied, when Cooper’s the one who actually loves Charlotte.

Where’s the scorecard when you need it?

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This has been a strange week of holiday-themed shows for me. First the Mardi Gras episode on Greek, and then last night’s grand St. Patrick’s Day on The Office. I mean, no offense to anyone who actually commemorates these days for real reasons, but talk about scrounging around for holidays. Although I get Meredith holding St. Patrick’s Day up as “one perfect day of the year,” for me the rest was a bit much. Except for Kevin in his all-green outfit. That was awesome.

Dwight’s mega-desk was actually reminiscent of some of the old gags he and Jim have traded in years past, but it devolved into something less about humor and more about psychosis. This was not an all gift-wrapping desk, or a desk relocated to the men’s room. This was Dwight becoming a bit unhinged. It was like the show was trying to get some of the old, nostalgic good vibes going and missed completely. At least for me.

Which could also be the theme song for this entire Kathy Bates guest arc. I get that a lot of you are enjoying it, and I’m honestly glad that someone’s smiling as a result of the whole Sabre thing, but for me it’s just one great big sucking sound. She’s not funny, and her effect on those around her, particularly Michael, is far from humorous.

Michael being an idiot and planning a trip to Florida was predictable. Fine. But I was left totally confused with the entire staying late at work thing. Let me review it, because maybe talking it through will help. Michael bothered Jo (Bates) all day, making it quite clear that he wasn’t doing anything of substance. So when he went to check out for the day, she made reference to the fact that he might want to reconsider whether or not he’d put in a full day’s work. Michael decided to stay, and forced everyone to stay with him … which somehow led to Jim having to ask for permission to attend “a client meeting,” and Dwight canceling his real meeting, thereby getting thanked by Jo for doing so. Because it’s not okay to meet with a client?

And then Oscar and everyone else was so grateful to Michael for “springing” them that drinks were on them, and Michael questioned whether he’d just risked his future at the firm. Can someone explain that entire sequence of events to me? Because it would be odd enough if Michael had merely taken what Jo had said and forced everyone into staying to keep him company. But somehow Jo herself turned a minor reprimand of Michael into holding the entire office hostage. Were we meant to laugh at that?

Not me. But I did laugh at some of these:

• Andy making a How I Met Your Mother reference when talking about his first date with Erin. I like when shows give us that “We’re real and in our world they have that show too” vibe.
• Sabre’s minority empowering “Printing all colors” initiative … could it sound more offensive?
• Darryl moved upstairs! Might we get more of him now? That would be awesome!

And some quotes:

“It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.” – Michael, on St. Patrick’s Day

“How do I put this delicately? Does her family owe your family something in terms of a past injustice?” – Michael, asking Darryl how he got on Jo’s good side

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How long before Richard Webber breaks and can no longer take the fact  that he has to submit to Chief Derek’s whims, particularly when Derek still looks so ill at ease as the chief and doesn’t wear his power well?

How long before Richard tires of having to compete with the likes of Owen Hunt, whom he’s fond of saying was “in diapers” when Richard was already doing operations?

How long before Richard reaches his limit of having to accede to things like Derek’s decision to favor Owen’s seat-of-the-pants/non-plan operation plan for a tumor the size of Montana instead of Richard’s well-researched one?

I honestly don’t see what Richard’s other options are, really, unless Derek voluntarily gives up the post of chief (so he can do more surgery), or the hospital’s board ousts Derek in favor of Richard based on Richard’s wealth of experience, unless Richard goes to another hospital, or becomes some major researcher, wins the Avery Award.

As I watched the new Grey’s Anatomy episode “Push,” I also wondered how long until Owen’s real feelings toward Teddy Altman — you know he’s in love with her, seriously — manifest themselves so that more than just Meredith Grey can discern what he’s thinking. Clearly Owen and Teddy have a deep bond, have significant history that binds them together.

When you put that history up against the fact that Cristina Yang has already said she’d pick surgery and learning from Teddy over her relationship with Owen, that she chose to work with Richard instead of helping Owen with the mammoth tumor case, it won’t exactly be a surprise for Owen to, at some point, feel betrayed and long to be cherished in the way in which Teddy would cherish him, particularly if Teddy’s being actively and sincerely courted by someone else.

And how ’bout Callie Torres, Den Mother, huh? Loved seeing Callie embracing her awesomeness, getting past all that awful George/Izzie garbage and the abruptly interrupted Hahn storyline. A confident Callie, combined with a vulnerable-yet-strong/no waxing/no yoga Bailey will always put a smile on my face.

But that twist at the end of the episode, where the ever-cheerful, child loving, heart-on-her-sleeve Arizona Robbins said she doesn’t want to have kids, does not bode well. Not. At. All. I worry that it screams, shrieks actually, of foreshadowing for Callie and McSteamy to pair up and have a kid together, rendering Arizona, Little Grey and Teddy heart-broken (unless Owen snaps Teddy up first).

So, how long before Richard and Owen snap, before Callie and McSteamy decide to have a kid?

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