The latest route for many of the reality shows I watch is to get the most obnoxious self-absorbed folks ever in the cast. Then they focus on those people for the action almost more than any physical competitions or such. I suppose it does take a quirky personality and a dubious psyche to want to be on the shows, but give me a break.

Then there’s the mylar balloon boy

Thankfully I was at work and my daytime television wasn’t taken up with the balloon hoax this past week. Since I’m talking poor behavior, obnoxious and self-absorbed Hollywood wannabes, I can’t write this column without a mention of this event.

I saw the original Wife Swap show with the Heene family. As a sometimes watcher of WS, I just can’t fathom where they get these extreme families. Hey, my own family was as dysfunctional as they come, but not to the zealot or bizarre level of the families they get for this reality show.

When I first saw the events on the news about the little boy (not) in the mylar balloon and they announced the family, I figured it was a hoax. Has the reality TV genre created monsters amongst us? It used to be that if you wanted to be on stage, in movies, or on television, you got a waitstaff job at a restaurant and went to audition after audition before landing a gig (or not). Now it seems evil and whacked-out seem to be the criteria. Don’t get me going on the Jon and Kate stuff.

What’s up with all the arguing these days?

I might be wrong by throwing in a tabloid show in the reality genre, but I’m doing it anyway. I sometimes have The Insider on as it’s after the CBS Evening News which is a habit for me. They’ve changed the format and now everyone on a panel takes sides in a debate?

I’m sure this says something about the state of our society that they can’t just report the Hollywood gossip without arguing pros and cons about it. For me, it would be easy. Jon and Kate are egocentric Hollywood wannabe rich kids with kids who want a free ride because they had too many kids. Case closed.

The good of reality television

There’s So You Think You Can Dance. I love this show. I can’t dance even if I had to dance for my life even though I attended obligatory tap dancing lessons for years as a child. I find the show both entertaining and refreshing. Why refreshing? Well, because the young adults on the show at this stage have all worked so hard at their craft. They aren’t sailing by on being evil or weird. They’re working hard and they’re amazing.

For the most part, The Amazing Race is still showing the good. Sure, they have the occasional ugly American or bickering team. But overall, it’s a look at a world that most of us couch surfers aren’t going to see. It allows us to get glimpses of lands, cultures, and people so far removed from our own lives. And, they’re not dependent on evil or whacked for casting.

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They do have one thing in common: I’m not really all that enamored with either of them. Perhaps Mia Michaels has fantastic talent, and a vision far beyond my own, when it comes to dance. However, I just think how mean she was to Brandon in the beginning of this season. She has corrected herself since, but she initially seemed intent on crushing a young guy’s dreams. That’s so not cool.

As with most summers, because I cover the Big Brother 11 live feeds, my life seems to be all BB, from dawn to way past dusk. I’ve found over the years that the hamsters really don’t sleep. This group doesn’t really drink to excess, not that I advocate that. Alcohol-fueled brouhahas are always fun for the house.

This week, the show made Ronnie look like the martyr, the hero, the Star Wars geek, and a dubious puppet master. Jessie once again was idolized, especially by the female hamsters, as he won “Head of Household” once again. Laura, whose smile creeped me out, but had strategy, got the boot due to Ronnie’s lies. Lies were cool with Dr. Will, but not Ronnie so much. He just comes across as a cheap, nerdy imitation of Dr. Will. Make him stop.

Over on So You Think You Can Dance, they’re down to six. Jason and Janette went home. Now, I know I never vote on these shows, but America got this one so wrong, at least when it comes to Janette. She was my favorite female dancer on the show. I demand a recount! As for Jason, I really enjoyed him, but I do think that Brandon and Ade are better dancers. I don’t really get the Evan-mania at all.

I know I said that Mia Michaels (personality-wise) does nothing for me. But there’s a bigger issue on that judges’ podium; poor Ellen Degeneres got the full blast of Mary Murphy’s vocal explosions this past week. I like the idea of a hot tamale train, but I sure don’t want it blasted in my ear. Indoor voice, please. At least Nigel is fun!

Yes, I realize Hell’s Kitchen started up again this past week. I’m going to have to catch up with that one on the website. Are you watching?

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Back to reality, for me it’s all about Big Brother and talent contests at the moment. I’m still not quite sure how variety type shows and talent contests have ended up under the reality TV umbrella, but there they are. Right now, my two big talent contests are So You Think You Can Dance and America’s Got Talent. I can’t dance and my talents these days aren’t the type which would translate to stage, so I watch.

That was the week it was

This week’s So You Think You Can Dance held no real surprises for me with the boots. I didn’t think Kupono would last much longer. I was a bit surprised that Ade was in the bottom two males with Kupono. Personally, I would have expected it to be Evan with him. But, what do I know? I really can’t dance.

America’s Got Talent is still in the audition phase. I’m looking forward to this week’s YouTube auditions, but I had to settle for various cities on the show’s two night gig.  It looks like we have our own Susan Boyle-esque singer. However, the act I enjoyed the most was just odd. Talented, yet bizarre. Tap dancing and guitar, who knew?

Then there’s the summer voyeuristic guilty pleasure … Big Brother. The first few days, I feared a summer of boredom. But the hamsters are acting up in their Habitrail. Lying, cheating, backstabbing, oh my. I’m nowhere as keen on Ronnie as Ronnie is on Ronnie. He stands a chance to redeem himself a bit in my eyes if he does indeed backdoor Russell. But will he have the guts to do it?

If you haven’t seen the extended Julie Chen and Braden eviction interview, you need to. Y’see, Julie Chen isn’t used to people calling her a [bleeped] ho on her husband’s network.

Watch CBS Videos Online

Soon I’ll have Hell’s Kitchen in the mix. That show premieres Tuesday at 8 PM ET/PT on FOX. I need a 12 Step Program.

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Along with the news that the season premiere’s ratings were a bit up, there was bad news, too. Alas, pin-headed body builder Jessie from Big Brother 10 is part of the new group of hamsters. Gack! I don’t really care for folks coming back on reality shows in the first place. And, I didn’t like Jessie in his own season. Get him gone. I mean it!

That was the week it was

Not only did I have the crushing blow with Jessie’s return to Big Brother, but my personal favorite dancer to watch (in his own style) got the boot on So You Think You Can Dance. Oh, I knew he wouldn’t last. He’s probably the least in-shape of the dancers and was having trouble learning dances outside of his own specialty. Yes, he was probably the worst dancer in the bunch. Ah, but when it comes to popping, he’s pure magic.

Now, you don’t see anyone with those moves on Big Brother! Right now I think the most talented dancer on So You Think You Can Dance is Brandon. It seems like that kid can learn any dance move, any style, and shine. With Phillip, I wanted to see him pop. I want to see Brandon dance.

Caitlyn also got the boot this week on the show. I’m not as keen on the girls this season. But I thought her solo was the best of the three. I think it’s probably thanks to Phillip Chbeeb that the producers all of a sudden made the decision that both Caitlyn and Phillip will be joining the Top Ten on tour. Heh, they want to cash in on Phillip’s talents even though he wasn’t adjusting well on the show itself.

I also watched The Great American Road Trip on NBC this week. Um. Well. I probably won’t do that again.

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I’m not sure what to make of it. Executive producer Allison Grodner and I don’t always share the same mindset when it comes to these things. I’ve seen her twists royally flop (see season nine) and, while I prefer to see a really diverse cast in the house, she goes for eye candy and twists.

The latest one is dividing the hamsters into high school cliques. Unlike CliqueCLACK, high school cliques contain the teen angst I prefer to remain tucked away in the recesses of my mind. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how it works out.

That was the week it was

America’s Got Talent is still in its audition stages … thus proving that not all of America has talent. Oh sure, there were some entertaining acts. I thought the dog who danced with his owner was incredibly adorable. I could never get my cat to do that. And there was a break-dancer who had a good routine. But I can’t see either of them being a hit show in Vegas. What they need is a dog who break-dances. Now, there could be the next big thing!

The competition on So You Think You Can Dance is heating up. My favorite popper, Phillip Chbeeb, saved himself with his solo. But things don’t seem to be looking too good for him. He’s not adjusting all that well to styles other than his own. Phillip, Kapono and Vitolio were the guys in the bottom three couples this week. As much as I like Phillip and his own style mesmerizes me … I do think Vitolio got a bum deal with the boot.

Huh. Maybe they should have booted two girls. Julia Hass wrote that the girls are falling flat in a recent CliqueClack TV entry. I can only agree with her. Some of the girls impressed me, but it’s getting to be all about the guys. At least it is for me.

Coming this week

The Great American Road Trip makes its premiere this Tuesday at 8 PM ET/PT. I want to tune in just to see if I get any Chevy Chase vibes from the series. And, of course, Big Brother 11 starts Thursday at 8 PM ET/PT.

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However, Ed McMahon played his own role in reality television back when talent contests were considered … well, talent contests. Perhaps they were variety shows. Nowadays, they’re all under the reality TV umbrella. Pre-dating America’s Got Talent, American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance, we had Star Search with Ed McMahon. Hi-ho.

That was the week it was

Yes, I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here is over! Amidst the pseudo-celebrities, the only real celebrity just happened to win — Lou Diamond Phillips. Now, he hasn’t done much lately, I’ll admit. But at least he had some well-received movie roles in the past. Oh, we had the Lesser and Greater Baldwins, too. The show was like watching a train wreck or ogling a car accident. You don’t want to watch. You feel like slime for looking. But morbid curiosity keeps calling you into the world of madness.

It’s no wonder they didn’t have real celebrities on the show. Those “trials” were both disgusting and, it seems to me, very dangerous. Real rat bites? Crocodiles, albeit small ones? Tarantulas and snakes, oh my. I can only wonder if the next installment of the series will have pseudo-celebs — oh, maybe MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, CarrotTop and that ilk — stuck in a rundown tenement in Camden, New Jersey. I can see it now …

MC Hammer: “Don’t mug me! I can dance! I have funny pants!”

At least we had the start of America’s Got Talent this past week. While in its audition phase, there are many acts which really needn’t be on national television. But there are some gems, as well. Jerry Springer is no longer the host, although he wasn’t so Springer Show-esque when he hosted the show anyway. In his place is Nick Cannon, who can be very entertaining. Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne and David Hasselhoff are back at the judges podium. Let’s see some talent.

The competition is heating up on So You Think You Can Dance as we’re down to eight couples this week. Oddly enough, I think the performances on the first show were better than the quality we saw the following two weeks. I doubt my own favorite dancer on the show, Phillip Chbeeb, will make it through to the end. He’ll probably have fan votes and be able to “dance for his life” successfully with his own style. But I see that he’s having problems with picking up other styles. But, dang … I love to watch him dance.

Not the best of weeks, but soon we’ll have Big Brother 11. Yes!

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On the other hand, I was never either a Gene Simmons nor KISS fan. Yet that Hammer better not go near those Family Jewels.  I’ve grown quite addicted to that one. Yeah, it could be that cougar crush thing with Nick, but it’s my TV. I can watch what I want!

That was the week it was

Since I already brought it up, let’s talk Hammertime on A&E. I somewhat liked Snoop Dogg’s show, but he’s stayed more in the public eye than Hammer has over the past decade or two. All I can think of that MC Hammer’s done in that time is The Surreal Life, and that reality show had Vanilla Ice on it. I think that’s enough said for the quality of the surrealism. So, what’s my verdict of his latest attempt to get his name back in showbiz? Boring!

About the only thing I found entertaining about the entire show was when I went to the website to get the link and came across the Hammer Pants video. A flash mob raided a trendy store and hilarity ensued. It’s definitely better than the show itself.

So You Think You Can Dance had its first elimination this week. Tony and Paris got the boot. I’m not heartbroken over the loss. Tony seemed to think he was way too cute, and personality isn’t going to win a dance contest. Perhaps Paris might have made it through with another partner. I think this season has the most talented group of dancers to date. It’s kind of like the talent on American Idol stepping up the game. Meanwhile, auditions are open for the fall season. No, I’m not applying!

I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here is still a train wreck. And, more surprisingly, the voters kept Janice on while getting rid of Daniel Baldwin. I say, they kept the Lesser Baldwin in lieu of the one who actually works! They also brought in Heidi Pratt’s sister and there have been hints of a romance between her and Sanjaya. I think Janice has her eyes on Sanjaya and we’re going to see a major cat-fight when she defends her territory. Meow!

I just can’t wait for the arrival of Big Brother. This stuff is driving me crazy! Meanwhile, I’m just going to have to consider late night talk shows part of the reality genre and let the Palin/Letterman brouhaha amuse me. Or, better yet … I’ll just be wickedly entertained by Craig Ferguson’s off the wall openings.

Feed me reality TV!

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For me, right now there is only one really entertaining reality show — So You Think You Can Dance. As a summer show, it’s a ratings winner. I’m not sure how well a second season come fall will go against the new scripted and existing hit reality shows like Survivor. Now, if FOX were to stop local newscasts at 10 PM, push ‘em back an hour and air SYTYCD five nights a week against Jay Leno, I’d be doing a happy dance!

That was the week it was

Oh, it’s a train wreck. Like most train wrecks, you might be tempted to gape at it. But you’re going to feel dirty and sleazy afterward, perhaps even a bit inhuman. I’m talking about I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! There is so much wrong with this show that I don’t really know where to start. Let me give it a try:

• These, for the most part, aren’t celebrities; they’re pseudo-celebs. Maybe Lou Diamond Phillips and Daniel Baldwin could be classified as celebrities. Stephen, the Lesser Baldwin, tends to go on the pseudo-celeb circuit and has diminished any true celebrity role he’s ever played by doing so.
• The premise is old and borrowed.
• The challenges are akin to if Fear Factor went wilding on Survivor. Actually sticking your hand in a bunch of live biting rats? Don’t they carry diseases? Isn’t this a lawsuit waiting to happen?
• It’s on way too often — four nights a week. That’s a huge time investment expected of the viewing audience. While the show only runs a bit more than three weeks, it’s still too much. At four nights a week, it’s just not going to happen for me. Twice a week would be my limit for train wrecks.
• Speidi, ’nuff said. I don’t like them. You know the world has gone askew when those two spoiled children are treated like some sort of real show business folks.
• That ex-model, Janice Dickinson, frightens me. I’ve had nightmares of the Cat Lady attacking me.

About the only redeeming light I see with this show is that Patti Blagojevich turns out to be a normal, decent kind of woman. With all she’s been going through with her husband and his legal woes, it’s good to see this side of things. I’m sure she’ll do better on the show than her hubby would have done.

Then there’s The Real Housewives of New Jersey on Bravo. I live in New Jersey. I don’t know these people or anyone like them. Am I in the wrong social circles? Doesn’t the state get a bad enough reputation without these bimbos representing us?

I guess it’s similar to the other shows in the “Real Housewives of …” series. But it irks me. Call me a prude, but if you have children you shouldn’t be on national television in this light. Heck, I don’t have children and I wouldn’t be on a show like this. I’m glad the real housewives I know in New Jersey take pride in their families and their work.

So You Think You Can Dance named its top twenty dancers this week after a brutal time in Vegas. Right now it’s too early for me to call out favorites as I don’t really “know” the dancers yet. I’d love to see Phillip Chbeeb go far, mainly because his popping is amazing — I could watch him do that all season! The real competition is coming this week as the top twenty perform. Let’s hope Phillip can learn the moves so we can watch his own unique talents for weeks to come!

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No! This is the day of instant gratification! We need fresh reality shows, and there’s just not a heck of a lot going on. Watching the TV Guide network’s show about where all the Survivor millionaires are now entertains me, for an hour at least. Then it’s done. Now I remember that I don’t care what most of them are doing. They were on the show; I loved them or hated them; now they’re gone. I want fresh meat.

That was the week it was

Well, Bachelorette fans might be happy. There’s a new season of that show in the dearth of reality entertainment right now. But, of course, I’m not a fan of the romance shows. I think they’re like being a sleaze at a bar looking for love in all the wrong places while being made for a fool on national television. That could be me, I guess. The show airs Mondays at 8 PM ET/PT on ABC. It’s not my cuppa tea, but it may be yours. And, at least it’s new.

One show I do watch and enjoy has just started up again — So You Think You Can Dance.  But the problem with this one is similar to watching the first few weeks of American Idol. It’s the audition and early contestant stage of the show. Some of the auditions are horrific, some look outright painful. Many can’t dance any better than I can pass myself off as a leggy supermodel. Then there are the good auditions. But we might not see some of them again or they might fall apart in Las Vegas.

I can’t get too attached to this show until they get the group down to a manageable number of contestants. I can’t invest my emotions until I can remember at least the first names of some of the dancers. But, with the auditions, I can enjoy some of the better street type performers. B-boys and poppers are amazing. And, it’s cheaper to watch them on TV than to put a buck in the hat at Washington Square Park to see some good street talent.

Up and coming

Next Sunday, June 7, my calendar is already marked. It’s the return of Gene Simmons Family Jewels on A&E. Now, I’m actually more of the generation of Gene, but I have a wicked cougar crush on Nick Simmons. This show is everything The Osbournes wasn’t. While I’m sure Gene and I would clash, at least I can understand him when he talks. Instead of presenting a decadent washed-up hippie rocker dysfunctional family, the Simmons (albeit highly staged) come across as witty, clever and lots of fun.

The kids both have their heads on straight which says a good deal about how they were raised. Sure, they do typical teenage wacky hijinks (I always wanted to say that), but they don’t seem to have deep psychological scars or a tendency to frequent rehabs. Oh … and did I mention my cougar crush on Nick?

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I personally don’t care so much who won what on the reality shows I watch. Sure, there are folks like delusional Ben “Coach” Wade whom I want off my TV set the moment I see them. But my criteria for a good season always remains … was I entertained? Regarding Survivor and American Idol, yes. Yes, I was very entertained.

That was the week it was

I’ll touch on the Survivor finale first just to get the old news out of the way. As usual, we had the three-hour night of the show — two hours of gameplay, then the live reunion show. I always wish that The Amazing Race would put on something similar to the reunion show during their finale. Phil Keoghan could definitely do a Jeff Probst kind of interviewing session with the cast. No, I don’t think Julie Chen could handle that sort of show with Big Brother as she often seems oblivious to what’s been going on. But, just as Jeff is perfect to grill the castaways, so could Phil.

The fact that JT won the season and that it was unanimous when he was paired up in the final two with Stephen came as no surprise to me. I think JT would have won over anyone. Perhaps if Taj had been in the final two with him, she would have gotten some votes. Surely, he would have won anyway. I’m satisfied with the winner — he excelled in many areas.

Could he have done it all without Stephen and Taj? I don’t think so. I think, had they not been at his side in the alliance, he would have been targeted. I enjoyed watching all three of them take over the game. I only wish that Stephen and JT had taken Taj to the final three instead of Erinn. That was just wrong.

The Survivor finale was nothing compared to the season finale of American Idol this year. Before I even mention the winner, I have to say that the finale show itself was one of the most entertaining shows I’ve seen in ages. Usually I’m not so keen on the AI finale, but I have to give ‘em kudos for the array of artists involved. I mean … we’re talking Steve Martin on banjo, Cyndi Lauper, Jason Mraz, Carlos Santana, KISS, The Black-Eyed Peas, on and on … and on. What a spectacular event!

As for the season itself, I think most of the Idol-wannabes were of a higher caliber than in previous seasons. There were no Sanjayas in the final bunch. Sure, Megan Joy Corkrey could be a bit iffy at times. But, overall, there was a huge amount of young talent this year.

The controversy over why Kris won runs the gamut from the anti-gay vote to the pro-Christian vote to the Danny Gokey exodus vote to the judges pushing an Adam vote and beyond. I noticed that the teenybopper girls went crazy for Kris, so that’s sure to be a factor, too. It really doesn’t matter. The show opened doors for both Kris and Adam. Now all they have to do is pursue their dreams in music — they both have built-in fan bases to support them. May they live long and prosper … or something like that. It was a good season for the show. Let’s see ‘em top it next year! (It’s so much better than a Reuben Studdard stand there and sweat although possessing a decent voice win!)

On the Dancing With the Stars finale, it was Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas for the win. I should note that at 17-years-old, Shawn is the youngest competitor ever on the show. Her Olympic gymnast background definitely gave her the grace and discipline for DWTS. Congratulations! I think of her and newly 17-year-old American Idol contestant Allison Iraheta, then think back to what I was doing at that age. Um, well. I was in college then, but doing a lot of things I shouldn’t have been doing!

This past week started the new season of So You Think You Can Dance. While I’ve never been a big fan of Dancing With the Stars, I’m practically rabid over SYTYCD. Don’t ask me why. And, no. I can’t dance. I can’t sing either. I’m glad these shows weren’t around when I was the age for contestants. Back then I thought I could dance and sing. Thankfully I never embarrassed myself on national (international these days) television. Now, if there was a show called So You Think You Can Hole Up in Your Apartment Alone for a Month and Read Books … that I could win. Once we get through the audition phase and into the real show of SYTYCD, I’ll be entertained once again. Until then, I might read some books.

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Of course, the end of these shows only means that other shows I enjoy aren’t too far in the future — So You Think You Can Dance and Big Brother (my summer guilty pleasure) will be coming along soon. Usually I run a week behind reporting on the shows which air on Sunday nights. However, due to the season finales, please be warned that there will be finale show spoilers for both The Amazing Race and The Celebrity Apprentice after the jump.

That was the week it was

Okay, let’s hit up Survivor first. They kept Coach again! Argh! I’m so tired of that odd little funky-haired, argyle-knee-sock short-pants-wearing Little Lord Fauntleroy with delusions of espionage, adventure, and mind-blowing wisdom that I could rant for a week solely about him. But, I do understand the wisdom of getting Debbie out of there first. With Coach, they can figure out his strategy while Debbie is more cut-throat sneaky. Coach also usually sucks at the challenges (like he did this past week). Debbie is more of an unknown entity.

Since it was the loved ones visiting episode, Coach’s assistant coach was his main man. I’m wondering if it’s more like a disciple. I think the assistant has drank a bit too much of Coach’s Kool-Aid.

For me, the real high point of the episode was Stephen being practically a genius with the Immunity Challenge memorization puzzle. I definitely wouldn’t remember which symbol I attached to which number, even though I understand his concept. I also got a kick out of all of the jury members wearing the bodacious Coach feather. This coming week should just get more interesting. As long as Coach doesn’t win, I’m happy. The season finale is Sunday, May 17.

Then there were three on American Idol. I really think we could have called the winner and skipped the season a few months back. Allison was voted off this week and handled it all so much better than I would at the tender age of just turning 17. The girl’s a solid talent, and while she didn’t win the season, we all know that all kinds of doors will open for her.

So we’re down to Adam, Danny, and Kris. Of those three, it interests me what Danny might do down the road. Kris is more teenybopper than my tastes tend to be, but certainly a viable talent. Then there’s Adam. He’s bamboozled them all. I personally call theatrical, but it may be just me. I think he’s most likely to win it all and has been the frontrunner all season. So be it. While he’s not my cuppa, I think back to previous seasons. They definitely rounded up better talent this year.

Over on Dancing With the Stars, Lil’ Kim (not to be confused with Lil Rounds from AI) got the boot. They’re down to four stars left. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t really follow this show. I would think in her own shows she needs to incorporate choreography and dance. Oy. To get the boot from DWTS must have been a personal blow!

Last week’s Amazing Race showed Jen and Kisha losing by seconds … seconds wasted as Jen stopped to use a port-potty for what seemed to be an eternity. I catch the losers on the show on The Bonnie Hunt Show most weeks. This week, Bonnie announced that Jen and Kisha declined to be on the show because, “well, they’re mad.” Man, I would’ve ran dripping if it meant I would lose out at the chance to win a million!

The three teams going into the finale are Tammy and Victor, Luke and Margie, and Jaime and Cara. Of those, I think it’s a toss-up between the first two for the strongest competition. Let’s see how it plays out. Oh my. Cara and Jaime did better than I thought they would. I figured they’d totally screw up and they came in second place after helping Luke in the final challenge. You gotta love that taxi dispatcher — “Tell your people that I’m not their personal concierge.” Tammy and Victor are victorious and I’m pleased with it all.

On The Celebrity Apprentice, it’s down to the showdown of the biggest bitches, er … grumpy ego-maniacal women. Like American Idol, I think the final two could have been predicted early on. After all, they’re entertaining, clash well together, and MEOW! Annie and Joan catfight to the end! Woohoo! I mean catfight! This is somewhat disturbing, but I find it all so very entertaining. Perhaps I need some psychological help. Joan won, much as I predicted at the start of the season.

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And just like that, finale season is upon us. Over the next few weeks, all of our favorite shows will be pulling out all the stops and heading off into the summer break, with hopes of returning for another go in the fall. Some of them, no doubt, will be disappointed in that regard. Aside from the marriages, pregnancies, and lives left hanging in the balance, finales are interesting from a ratings perspective because they provide the possibilities of a numbers boost. One last data point to point to as you make the case that this show shouldn’t be canceled. NBC got the ball rolling last week as Chuck and Heroes both fired off their finale salvos. The results were something less than stellar. The news was better for Fringe, the NCIS spinoff, and the CW Thursday.

NBC - Chuck (6.19m/2.4) has really come to the forefront in the Internet TV world over the last week, so let’s begin there this week. Last week was the big season finale, and the show posted almost identical results to the week before. No finale gain for the kids down at the Buy More. Heroes (6.47m/3) found itself in a similar situation, dropping just a tenth in the demo from the previous week. Despite scattered Internet reports, Chuck’s fate remains up in the air, but some form of return is looking more and more likely. Heroes will be back for another season. Now it’s just a question of how long that season will be.

Elsewhere, the lack of a boost to Heroes didn’t do Medium (6.71m/2.2) any favors. The news was better on Tuesday, as The Biggest Loser (9.26m/3.6) continued its fantastic run, combining with L&O SVU (10.55m/3.9) to finish second in the demo. Thursday was again a disappointment. My Name Is Earl (5.16m/2.1), The Office (7.41m/3.7), and 30 Rock (5.95m/2.9) were all below their averages. Meanwhile, Parks & Recreation (5.07m/2.2) continues to drop. More troubling though, are the numbers for Southland (6.62m/2). It’s now lost over three million viewers and more than a point in the demo from the premiere on April 9th (9.72m/3.2).

ABC - The crumbling of new shows is something ABC knows all about. Desperate Housewives (13.64m/4.7), Brothers & Sisters (9.31m/3.1), and Dancing With The Stars (19.29m/4.3) got the week off to a nice start, but then the new shows started. Surviving Suburbia (8.98m/2.2) continues to drop, while Castle (8.24m/2) seems to have found its level. It would just be really nice if that level was a little higher. Probably the best news for Castle is the revelation that Cupid (5.59m/1.6) and The Unusuals (4.86m/1.5) are both struggling. If one of them is going to survive, Castle certainly has the inside track.

In happier news, Lost (9.04m/4.1) was back above 4 in the demo, and the combination of Grey’s Anatomy (14.12m/5.1) and Private Practice (9.7m/3.5) made gains on Thursday. In addition, According To Jim (3.11m/.9 – 3.56m/1) continues to punish the network for continuing to air this show. Finally, Ugly Betty (6.72m/2), while not outstanding, did offer an improvement over the recent sit-com experiment.

CBS - The week started out with another good run from the Monday comedies – Big Bang Theory (9.24m/3.4), How I Met Your Mother (8.87m/3.7), 2 ½ Men (14.16m/4.9), and Rules of Engagement (11.3m/3.9). Of note there, Rules Of Engagement has taken advantage of the post-Men slot and made a pretty good case for getting another season. The good news continued Tuesday as the backdoor pilot for the NCIS spinoff (16.7m/3.5) posted solid numbers. As good as that is, I remain skeptical about the spinoff’s prospects. That was followed by The Mentalist (17.11m/3.7) and Without A Trace (12.21m/2.5).

After a solid Wednesday, thanks to Criminal Minds (13.61m/3.3) and CSI:NY (12.5m/3.2), the puzzlement continued on Thursday with CSI (15.54m/3.7). The show now finds itself tied with The Office in the demo, with Grey’s being completely out of sight. It’s probably a very lucrative time to be William Petersen. Meanwhile, Survivor (11.73m/3.6) was up week to week. And Ghost Whisperer (9.67m/2.3), Flashpoint (9.57m/2.1), and Numb3rs (9.46m/2.2) easily took Friday night.

FOX – There was less to worry about at FOX. The week was off to a bit of a rocky start, as Sit Down, Shut Up (4.21m/1.9) dropped again, despite the cushy spot between The Simpsons (6.01m/3) and Family Guy (6.67m/3.4). That was quickly forgotten as House (11.69m/4.6) returned on Monday. That brought a little boost to 24 (10.43m/3.4). Tuesday also made for an easy win, thanks to Idol (23.26m/8.1) and Fringe (9.62m/4). Worth noting there is that while Idol was down a tenth, Fringe was up. Things weren’t so happy on Wednesday. Despite the fact that ABC, NBC, and CBS all handed the night off to Obama, Lie To Me (7.75m/2.3) couldn’t make any gains. Wednesday’s Idol (22.37m/7.7) was still number one, but I really don’t get the thinking behind not having Idol at 8.

Bones (8.94m/2.3) and Hell’s Kitchen (6.85m/2.8) remained down a bit on Thursday, but that’s nothing compared to what has become the weekly forehead slap of the FOX Friday. Prison Break (3.2m/1) and Dollhouse (3.09m/1.1) both managed small gains in viewers, while Dollhouse hit a new low for the demo. But small gains aren’t going to cut it here.

CW - The week didn’t get off to a good start. Gossip Girl (1.97m/1), One Tree Hill (2.28m/1.1), Reaper (1.77m/.7), and 90210 (1.79m/.9) were all down. The tides turned on Wednesday, as Next Top Model (4.01m/1.8) remained the highest rated show on the network. You do have to wonder why they waste that Wednesday at 9 spot on repeats, though. Thursday was also good, as Smallville (3.23m/1.4) and Supernatural (2.95m/1.3) both bounced back.

For the coming week … Monday finds Medium taking over the Heroes slot with a special two hour episode. The NCIS spinoff pilot continues on Tuesday. Scrubs lets loose with the big one hour finale on Wednesday. And Dollhouse finishes off season one (if you ignore that 13th episode) on Friday.

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As we head towards the season finales of all the current reality shows, things are heating up. That includes tempers, strategies, alliances and, need we forget … song choices are more important than ever. After all, I never leave my house without the perfect song in mind to start off my day. Um … today? “Rainy Days and Mondays.”

That was the week it was

My personal opinion regarding Joan’s thorny snit exit on The Celebrity Apprentice is that it was all for the show. There have been issues all along due to her daughter Melissa being on the show. I don’t think Melissa was ever a viable candidate, but the conflicts due to having both Melissa and Joan on the show upped the drama and, therefore, the ratings. I’ll admit a good part of why I watch the show is Joan Rivers. Trump knew that when he cast her. Well, not about me in particular, mind you.

So, is she gone? Really? Of course not. I usually report things a week late, but I’ll clue you in. It’s all down to Annie and Joan now. Meow!

Whoa! On American Idol, golden boy Adam Lambert not only made it in the bottom three … he was in the bottom two! Whoopie! About time something knocked his little road to stardom off course. Oh, I’m still certain he’ll win it all in the end, but at least I got to smile as his confidence got set awry if but for a moment. Matt is out and we’re down to the final four.

Maybe it’s karma. I definitely didn’t smile when Coach won immunity on Survivor this week. I still have a bad taste in my mouth over the very idea that he won something. Not only did he win immunity, but those silly castaways did his bidding and got rid of Sierra so he could smirk. Blech! I still don’t get why everyone hated (or disliked) Sierra so much. While voting, Stephen said she was too erratic. Um, okay.

Chuck Wicks got the boot on Dancing With the Stars. Ignorant person about country music that I am, I had no clue who he was before he got on the show. So, it’s no great loss to me. I’m still waiting for the new season of So You Think You Can Dance. Now, there’s a dancing show I can get into! That season premiere is May 21. Be there or be square. Are you hip to my jive?

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• Reality Clack – Celebrity Apprentice, Survivor, Dancing With the Stars, American Idol

Two of the contestants went home on American Idol; another star got the boot on Dancing With the Stars. Some years back, folks getting eliminated wouldn’t bring about much press unless JR got shot or something. But times have changed. Some years ago, we would shy away from someone angrily talking to himself on the street. Now we know they’re using a Bluetooth and they’re not really loony. Well, not about talking to themselves anyway.

That was the week it was

The herd is being thinned on American Idol. I do think that this group is one of the more talented ones we’ve seen on the show. Last week was disco and two would be hitting the road. I’m lessening my Danny Gokey fever and am willing to say they could just shut down the show now and let Adam Lambert win it all. It’s inevitable. Even though he didn’t really disco his disco song, I think he has it in the bag. No, I doubt I’ll buy anything he does. But then again, I’ve only bought Melinda Doolittle.

On The Amazing Race, it was the brothers going home this past week. Too many rules broken, I guess. I thought they’d fare a lot better with their stunt work and such. But the big story of the night (not last night, the week before) was the brouhaha betwixt Jen and Luke.

What I’m not getting in that video is that she’s watching Luke’s eyes as she translates he’s signing. Are we sure that she’s giving an accurate translation? Hmm.

On Dancing With the Stars, Lawrence Taylor has done his last minuet. I’m still only watching bits and pieces of the show. But I recall years ago that they said ballet and dance are good exercise for football players. So, that he lasted this long isn’t really a surprise to me.

Being a football player didn’t keep Herschel Walker on The Celebrity Apprentice last week. I personally think Clint Black should have been the one to go, mainly due to his obnoxious factor. I thought Walker presented himself as a gentleman throughout the show. Not many of the men can lay claim to that.

I loved this week’s Survivor. I cheered out loud! I celebrated by drowning myself in Trader Joe’s sea salt brownies accompanied by a large glass of cold milk. Tyson’s GONE in the most perfect blindside ever! Coach is crushed and the alpha male Warriors Alliance is nothing but a corrupt file. Heh. I love it. We can just call Erinn a dark horse right now.

I can watch the video of the voting over and over again looking at the facial expressions — Sierra relieved and stunned, the moment it dawns on Tyson that he’s a goner, Coach’s dismay, Brendan’s glee … I love it all!

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I watched a few of the new scripted shows the past few weeks, too. While I enjoyed The Unusuals and Southland, there’s nothing quite like reality TV celeb-wannabes. For me, Harper’s Island seems like a reality TV based show. Sometimes I think the folks in the Big Brother house might want to off each other one by one. I’m sure those Real Housewives would like the concept!

That was the week it was

Adam Lambert once again did his thing on American Idol, belting out “Born to be Wild” to the beat of a different drummer. I don’t know. For me it was like a lesser-talented Freddie Mercury performance of a classic rock song from the good old days. That said, no one really thrilled me this past week. The movies week is always a bit off-key with me. I think it might be the best opportunity for the contestants to make bad song choices.

The judges used their save this week on Matt Giraud when he received the least amount of votes. I was a bit surprised that Lil Rounds had more votes than he did, but I don’t vote so it’s not up to me to say. I’m liking Matt more and more each week. He’s reminding me of a new-age Boz Scaggs kind of performer — a white soul jazzy kind of dude. I’d rather he stay than Lil. Even Anoop and Danny Gokey bogged me down a bit this week.

Over on Dancing With the Stars, Steve-O got the boot. I’m shocked and awed that the jackass lasted that long! I don’t have to much to say about it as I’m not a fan of the show. I confess. I just wanted to use the “jackass” comment.

On Survivor, it was more of the Coach Show once again. While the guy creeps me out, I do think the show has hit on something here. His existence on the show has brought together fans far and wide to the Coach Hatefest. I found the tribal council voting video a bit enlightening as to why the vote went down the way it did. So, Taj can’t trust Brendan, eh? I would think no one should trust Coach. Yet they continue to do so.

Then there’s Hell’s Kitchen. Due to its time slot and the fact that I’m a bit weary from Gordon Ramsay’s tirades, I’ve been missing episodes here and there. FOX has the episodes available on its website. One of these days when I have time to kill, I’ll go back and watch the episodes I’ve missed this season. Last week Andrea had the worst performance in the kitchen, but she was safe. It ended up being between Ben and Paula to go home. Both ended up staying. Yawn.

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Meanwhile, a fan favorite team was Philiminated on The Amazing Race and American Idol viewers voted yet another contestant into the dark crevice known as “you’re on the tour, but you ain’t the one” status. The tribe didn’t have to speak on Survivor as an injury made the decision for them. Let’s get right into the skinny!

That was the week it was

Okay, first to the hatefest on The Celebrity Apprentice — Joan and Clint traded barbs both on the show and on various other outlets. I’m taking Joan’s side on this battle. While she can be blatantly outspoken, I’m seeing a Clint Black who’s really rubbing me the wrong way. And, it’s not just in this squabble; it’s been building throughout the show. He’s the one from that team who should have been fired.

Instead, Trump fired two unlikely people, one from each team. He fired Khloe Kardashian from Black’s team using a totally warped reason. Y’see, she missed some time as she had to go to court-ordered classes stemming from a drunk driving arrest. Now, the arrest was long ago and widely publicized. Yet he didn’t say “boo” about Dennis Rodman’s drunken follies on the show. From the other team he fired Tionne Watkins, using the reasoning that she volunteered to go to the boardroom. Say what? I think his hair finally sunk into his mind and set him awry.

On American Idol, the contestants sang songs from the year they were born. Even though I don’t care all that much for Adam Lambert and his version of “Mad World” wasn’t entirely original, I thought he did well. The other two who caught my attention were Allison Iraheta and Matt Giraud. The rest? Well, lots of “in the middle” performances for me and I thought the bottom three would be Lil Rounds, Scott MacIntyre, and Kris Allen (based on my impressions of their performances). I figured it would be either Lil or Scott going home.

I had the bottom three wrong — instead of Kris in there, it was Anoop Desai. I was shocked that Lil wasn’t in the bottom two and it was between Anoop and Scott. Of those two, I’d rather Scott left the show. His performances never really seemed “all that” for me. It was more like “same old, same old.” America got it right in my book — bye-bye, Scott!

Ah, David Alan Grier. When he tried out for The Late Late Show on CBS (which ended up hiring Craig Ferguson), he was my favorite for the host role. I’ve enjoyed his humor for decades now. But he wasn’t too keen on getting the boot from Dancing With the Stars this past week. Check it out!

On Survivor, Joe’s injured knee, which is really infected and all kinds of gross-looking, caused him to be taken out of the game. The merge went on, all of the various alliances make my head spin, and evil whacked-out ego-monster Coach is still in the game. In the hidden scene below, Joe wanted to give the (fake) hidden immunity idol he found to JT. Heh, lots of help that would be!

For me, the team eliminated on The Amazing Race last Sunday had become my favorite team of all. Yes, even though Mel White was a ghostwriter for Jerry Falwell. Mel’s a gay clergyman in his late 60s. And I adore the guy. Who woulda thunk it? This week (as in last night), there was no Philimination. Darn it all to heck — if only Mel and Mike hadn’t had the bad luck to take a taxi from hell!

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Without further ado, let’s get into the goings-on from the reality side of TV!

That was the week it was

On Celebrity Apprentice last week (not last night), Dennis Rodman finally got the boot. While I enjoyed having him on the show for the entertainment factor, it was obvious that he might not want to be there as much as Trump wanted him to be there. Drinking problem? Well, yeah. But I think his heart didn’t seem to be in the whole thing, either. He definitely wasn’t a team player although he once played one on a court.

Even though I was an early supporter of Megan Joy Corkrey on American Idol, I shed no tears when she was cut this past week. To put things bluntly, I thought she truly sucked singing the Bob Marley song. Since she runs hot and cold, that was her last hurrah. She didn’t do herself any favors by being rude to Simon, but I doubt they would have saved her anyway. What is surprising me is that Allison ended up in the bottom three. Why was that little power rocker kid there instead of Scott?

Sigh. The team I thought most likely to be my least favorite team who ended up being my favorite team were Philiminated from The Amazing Race. I had been so intent on abhoring Mel on the team. When I read up on him, I was sure he’d be my target for derision. Instead, I adored the guy. He has a quick wit and was a determined racer. I say “feh” to jerk cabbies!

When is Taj going to come to her senses on Survivor? Get that idol back, girl! The voting at Tribal Council this past week was one of the biggest nailbiters in the history of the show. Had Stephen and JT decided to blindside her, she would have goon poof. She’s too trusting. It’s one thing to tell people you have the hidden idol, another thing to let them take possession of it. In the end, it was Sydney voted out. The merge is on for this coming week. It’s going to be interesting to see how the four member cross-tribe alliance is going to work. Will Sierra and Brendan stick with their tribemates or will they get rid of Joe and JT, then turn their focus on Coach? I can’t wait!

Holly Madison and Steve Wozniak were eliminated from Dancing With the Stars. No surprises there, none at all.

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Basketball didn’t keep American Idol away for its “country week” this past week. Nor did it trip up Dancing With the Stars. But it did cost us a week of Survivor (no show this past Thursday). This week’s Survivor will air on Wednesday night against American Idol. It’s going to be the clips show, so it surely will get ratings-stomped by AI. Oh, just a warning — the President is in the mix on Tuesday night further discombobulating the TV schedules.

That was the week it was

American Idol – As I mentioned, it was country week. That’s usually not my favorite week of the season, as usually only a select few contestants can actually carry off country singing. I was mildly surprised that (a) Michael Sarver did as poorly (in my eyes, er … ears) as he did in what I thought was his personal genre, and (b) so many did so well outside their comfort zones. Then there was Adam Lambert. I know he’ll keep making it through, but his Jeff Buckley inspired rendition of “Ring of Fire” just creeped me out. It should have been Michael Sarver leaving instead of Alexis Grace. But neither of them would probably win in the end anyway. It scares me that Adam Lambert might win it all.

Dancing With the Stars – Belinda Carlisle got the boot from the show this week on the first elimination show of the season. I admit I don’t really watch this show — shame on me. But if I did, I’d be cheering on David Alan Grier just because I’ve always liked him. I’m surprised that Steve Wozniak made it through the round.

Hell’s Kitchen – Oh, geez. The chef wannabe from the town where I attended high school got his chef’s coat burned by Gordon Ramsay this week. Yep, J is outta there. Well, Clifton Park (NY) isn’t really known for its fine dining. I’m still not enjoying the time slot of the show and usually end up catching it online. Thank you, FOX, for full eps online!

The Amazing Race – Nose flutes, they’re very bizarre. Not surprisingly, the Speed Bump destroyed any chance of Christie and Jodi making it in any other position than last. Mark and Michael better get their act together or they’ll be the next Philiminated. They squeak by a lot and seem like they could do so much better! I’m loving me Margie and Mel. Sure, they’re not a team. But they’re my favorites on the show anyway. So there!

For your enjoyment –

Some reality snippets

• Nijah was sent home on America’s Next Top Model. Apparently, she didn’t try hard enough or something.
• The push is on to cast Big Brother 11. Go for it! I promise not to mock you … much.
• After telling them to send herself home and keep Kristin on The Biggest Loser, Cathy was sent home. Well, duh.

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Nor can (or do) I watch every reality show — not even some of the more popular ones. But what I can do is give you the lowdown on some of the shows each week, often accompanied by my own opinions. Of course, sometimes my opinion might be more about why I don’t watch a show! I don’t like the concept of The Bachelor and have never watched an entire episode. But the gossip resulting from Jason being a jerk definitely caught my attention! So, what’s been happening this past week?

That was the week it was

American Idol – The first night was all about the 13 singers performing. On the whole, I think we’re seeing more professionalism and more talent with this bunch. In past seasons, I think we saw more untrained kids making it through to this stage.

The second night introduced us to the new “twist.” Okay, one time during the season before the final four, the judges can save a contestant voted out by America. Then the next week, two go home. Um. Whatever. I mean … I was a huge Melinda Doolittle fan out of all of the contestants ever to appear on the show. Would a rule like this have saved her? Is a popular contestant all that much worse off by gaining the exposure of AI and then not having to do a show-related CD?

Perhaps I just don’t have enough vested interest in the contestants. The show entertains me while I watch it, but I rarely buy the music and I don’t vote. I often enjoy watching the performances and hope some of the contestants stay on. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter to me who wins or not. That’s pretty much my take on all the shows. Entertain me is all I ask. That said, Jasmine Murray and Jorge Nunez went home. Give me a month or two, and I’ll forget all about them.

Dancing With the Stars — Yep, another big season of D-List celebrities and their stepping partners in crime. I’m a fan of both So You Think You Can Dance and America’s Best Dance Crew, but I never got into DWTS. Oh, I’ve watched an episode here and there, but that’s it. However, this show is a huge hit and it’s b-a-a-a-c-k! So far, pre-show injuries resulted in two replacements, and some of the current dancers are walking wounded (Steve Wozniak, Steve-O). The first results show is Tuesday, March 17.

The Celebrity Apprentice – Speaking of D-List celebrities …! I don’t like the time slot, the night, nor the two-hour format for the show this season. Sure, it’s a personal thing, but I want to fuss. I end up watching it online or recording it. Even without commercials, it’s too long. Make them stop. I gave up on the regular version of the Trump line during its last season. But I got hooked on the celeb version, so here I am grumping that it doesn’t mesh with my schedule.

Last week, Scott Hamilton was fired. For making that silly “EEE” name for the Zappos Shoes superhero, he needed to go. I don’t condone a lot of Tom Green’s antics, but he didn’t come up with an absurd and unrelated name for the character. At least he knew it should start with a “Z.” And … what’s with Clint Black? I thought it would be Dennis Rodman who irked me.

Last night, for the third week in a row, the men lost again. Between Dennis Rodman and Tom Green, I don’t know who’s worse. I don’t think I’d hire them, so I’d never have to fire them. But Tom overstayed his welcome by sucking two weeks in a row. Bye-bye, Tom Green.

Survivor — Coach is still way weird, JT became a maniac trying to win immunity, the inter-tribe alliance of four (Taj, Brendan, Sierra and Stephen) is solid, and non-entity Spencer went home this week. Taj really needs to be a bit more careful — her mouth is her main enemy. First she told others about her husband being an ex-NFL biggie dude guy (no, I don’t watch football), and then in the latest episode, she reamed the very guys who seem to be ruling the vote. Oy, girl … please, be calm.

In oddball reality show news

A near riot shut down the casting call for America’s Next Top Model in Manhattan. Yikes!

No. I wasn’t there. I only riot for cookies.

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Then there’s Coach from Survivor. What the heck is going on there? I don’t know. I’m just happy to see sort of normal folks running The Amazing Race. Heck, even the kids on American Idol aren’t as wacky as some of the full-fledged adults we’ve been seeing as of late. Hmmm … Tatiana and Coach, a match made in heaven?

That was the week it was

Before I go off about Jason, I’ll talk up Quest Crew, the winners of America’s Best Dance Crew. They were my favorites from the start and, though some folks said they had the benefit of Hok and Dominic having exposure on So You Think You Can Dance, they brought their talents to the dance floor. They’re amazing to watch and definitely had to work for the win. It’s good to see a “ridiculous mad” all-female group in the final two, but Quest Crew had to win. Enough said.

Sigh. I can’t not mention The Bachelor finale, can I?I just don’t know what to say. The bimbos were looking for love on a TV show and Jason, the object of their attentions, just done did them wrong. He proposed to Melissa, then dumped her on national television. Not only that, but he wants to go back with Molly! Bonnie Hunt went into it better than I can. I apologize for the quality of the video, but this is a must see.

American Idol had a big week narrowing down the field to the Top 12. Wait! Let’s make it a baker’s dozen! When it was down to Matt and Anoop, I thought Matt had actually done a better job with his song. But, for some reason, Anoop catches my fancy. But what really relieved me was that I should never have to see Tatiana and her bizarre antics ever again in my life. The Top 13 are: Danny Gokey, Alexis Grace, Anoop Desai, Kris Allen, Adam Lambert, Jasmine Murray, Jorge Nunez, Allison Hiraheta, Lil Rounds, Matt Giraud, Scott MacIntyre, Megan Joy Corkrey and Michael Sarver.

On Survivor, the Timbira tribe finally won Immunity. So it was back to Plan A — Sandy got the boot. Taj now has the secret cross-tribe alliance in motion with Sierra, Brendan and Stephen. Brendan has his hidden idol and she knows where the one at her camp is hidden. This could get interesting indeed! The vote Taj cast for Joe was just a throwaway. I hope it doesn’t come back to haunt her.

Notable reality show boots this past week

• Colleen got cut on Hell’s Kitchen.
• Amanda and Kris got Philiminated on The Amazing Race due to Luke and Margie nailing them with the Blind U-Turn.
• Scott Hamilton was fired on Celebrity Apprentice.

Coming this week!

• Dancing With the Stars returns with a new season tonight on ABC.
• The Chopping Block, a new reality cooking show, makes its debut on Wednesday. I don’t know. NBC might be a bit lagging there. Between Top Chef and Hell’s Kitchen, the entree has already been served.

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