For the past few years both Hulu and YouTube, now the grandparents of video-streaming sites, have been the main source for viewing shows from our childhood. While YouTube offers thousands of these shows, many of them are just clips — some of below-average quality — that rarely quench the viewers’ thirst. Hulu, on the other hand, offers full episodes, but not as much variety.

Recently (within the last year or so), two new video-streaming sites have gone online that cater exclusively to kids and, most importantly, our fat, near-middle-aged selves. For this column I thought I’d take some time and review the content on KidsWB.com and the brand-spanking new Jaroo.com.

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Currently, we have superstar chef Gordon Ramsay as host and berater of FOX’s Hell’s Kitchen and Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. We also have him as host of the British version of Kitchen Nightmares and Gordon Ramsay’s F Word on BBC America. So, do we need to see any more of the verbally abusive chef who we never see actually cook anything?

Apparently we do. FOX has decided to bring over the Masterchef concept from jolly ol’ England to air in America because, frankly, we don’t have enough cooking shows out there that start or end with Master. The show will be hosted by Ramsay, who will challenge everyday backyard BBQers, homemakers, and folks who can’t boil water to prepare delicious dishes on their way to becoming a MasterChef. As with Ramsay’s 500 other shows, he’ll gently put these innocent folks through their paces to create amazing, culinary creations. That, or he’ll make them crying heaps of Jello.

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There’s good news in Television Land this Halloween … the holiday falls on a Saturday this year. What does this mean for you, the bloated, bleary-eyed viewer? Well, none of that weekday crap that clogs up the airways during normal times. Instead, the networks are free to air pretty much what they damn well please. Which, being the big holiday before Christmas (no one really cares about Thanksgiving anymore, do they?), means more blood, gore, and ghost huntings for you.

Problem is, you’re not too sure where to find all of this All Hallow’s Eve fare. That’s where CliqueClack TV comes in, with our annual listing of Halloween-themed programming. From midnight on October 31st, to the wee hours of November 1st (when the first Christmas trees are put up at the Wal-Mart Supercenter), we provide a listing of anything with even a hint of scare in it — yes, that includes repeats of According to Jim. So if you’re squeamish, I’d recommend you avoid this listing and look at those adorable photos of kittens that adorn your walls.

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So, we’re about a month into a new television season and, frankly, things are looking okay. Save for the cancellation of CW’s The Beautiful Life: TBL (which was produced by Ashton Kutcher, so you knew it was going to be canned), most of the new and returning shows are doing okay (except for Dollhouse, which is really an entity unto itself). We’ve even had some full season pickups come out. In fact, I’ve heard Glee has been renewed for the next five decades!

However, this only pertains to CBS, ABC, FOX, CW, the Spice Network, and most of the other global television networks. NBC, on the other hand, is going in reverse. Instead of giving full season orders to their new programs, they’re actually pulling a FOX and canceling shows before they premiere. Case in point: Southland. After drawing solid numbers in the former ER slot last season, and being renewed for this season, the network has decided to cancel the John Wells-produced program even before it aired its first cold open. Instead, they’ve decided to air episodes of Dateline in its place.

Idiots!

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Dear Seth,

I just wanted to drop a line and congratulate you on basically turning Sunday nights on FOX into “Seth Sundays.” I don’t think the monopolization of a network by one person has been done since Aaron Spelling dominated ABC during the 1970s and ’80s. Of course, being the king of the Animation Domination, you are subject to criticism as well as compliment. So, I’d like to give you both.

First, the compliment. I missed much of last season’s Family Guy, so I don’t know if your tribute to the SuperFriends was done already. However, since it was new to me, I’m going to give you a virtual high-five for the intro to Sunday night’s episode. I know you’ve done this before with, for instance, your little vignette featuring the Jetsons, but I haven’t seen it done in the intro. My favorite moment was replacing the Wonder Twins intro with a simple, deadpan “Meg.”

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Sadly, we come to the end of our week highlighting The West Wing. And while we could write hundreds of additional articles on CJ’s wardrobe, and the many biblical references spouted by Jed Bartlet, we need to move on to other matters of television importance.

However, as we leave you with one last look at the series, and probably one of the most important turning points, we want to know what you thought of this little experiment. Did it keep your interest? Or did you really not give two poops about it? If you did enjoy it, then the next logical question is: would you want us to do it again?

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Dear Jon,

What the hell, dude? You know, there was a time that most of us, including myself, felt bad for the way your wife treated you. You were definitely the victim as Kate ripped you a new one for things like not using a coupon for drapes (in your new million-dollar house, which makes absolutely no sense at all). We were there for you, man! Guy Power all the way!

Then you changed. You started thinking with your other head, and everything went downhill from there. All of a sudden, Kate became Mother Teresa while you became an, well, an asshat. Now your asshattiness continues with this stupid little stunt of halting production on Jon & Kate Plus 8 because you were basically fired from the show. Very mature, Jon.

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