You had to feel for Barb during the latest episode of Big Love. No matter how sanctimonious she can be, no matter how mean she sometimes is to Margene, I’ve continued to have a soft spot for the first wife who was pushed into polygamy because she thought her cancer was going to kill her and leave her children motherless. And I don’t think she’s ever fully gotten over Bill’s betrayal.
Despite the fact that she’s called “Boss Lady” by her sister-wives and that she’s the manager of the Henrickson’s casino, this latest episode showcased how lost Barb has come to feel, how she believes she has no control over her life, that Bill has hijacked it. When Bill fired her for hiring a slimy Washington, D.C. lobbyist against his express wishes, that, it seemed was a breaking point for Barb.
Bill (who I think suffers from diagnosable delusions of grandeur and a severe detachment from reality) humiliated Barb for being duped by Marilyn Densham, the only person who actually has a glimmer of understanding about the sacrifices Barb has made when she demoted herself from being Bill’s partner to being his subordinate even though Marilyn doesn’t know about that polygamy thing. Barb, still stinging from Bill’s criticism, went on to make rather intemperate remarks in front of a women’s political organization:
“There’s something unique about Utah women. We never stop serving our faith or our husbands, our children and our communities. We do it all, don’t we? And we expect ourselves to do it perfectly. We’re not always comfortable admitting we’re overwhelmed. But maybe it’s okay to not feel like we have to be perfect all the time … Maybe we’d be better off admitting that we’re not Superwoman instead of running off to our medicine cabinets for our sedatives and our antidepressants. We all know what I’m talking about. We turn to our Prozac and our Xanax and our Benadryl.”
As Barb, and by extension Bill, was pilloried in the media and by Bill’s state senate opponent for characterizing Utah’s women as weak-minded drug addicts, she dug in her heels when Bill — who pitches aside anyone and everyone to get his way (poor Don) — demanded that she retract her statements. But after a cartoonist depicted Barb as swigging Benadryl and Bill’s working mom opponent made Barb a political issue, the defeated Boss Lady threw up her hands, put on her sensible shoes and agreed to sublimate herself. Again. “Fine, I’ll retract,” Barb said. “I’ll retreat, apologize. You write out whatever you want me to say and I’ll say it because I certainly have no voice of my own.”
It was that phone call at the end of the episode that got to me, when Marilyn, who’d seen Margene and Bill kissing and believed them to be having an affair with Barb’s knowledge, told Barb she pitied her. “What kind of a woman are you that your husband fooled around like that, that you cave in to his appetites?” Marilyn asked. “What kind of message does that send to your daughters?”
Now that Barb knows that Bill slept with Ana and Margene before they got married, Marilyn’s comments were salt in the wound. And given that neither of Barb’s daughters want Bill to go public about the polygamy — Teenie doesn’t want to be ostracized with her LDS friends and Sarah is fleeing to Portland with Scott — what message indeed does Barb’s tacit acceptance send?
I know I’m overlooking a whole bunch of other stuff from this massively overflowing episode, like Nicki’s evolution, the compound weirdness (Alby, Adaleen’s spying, Wanda’s muteness, what, no mention of one-armed Hollis?) and Margene being forced by Bill to remain married to Goran even after Margene wanted to back out. (Tetherball anyone?) What’d you think of “Next Ticket Out?”
Clacked by Meredith O'Brien 
on Mar 01, 2010 @ 12:00 EST5EDT
