American Idol pretty firmly has set the judges’ formula for every performance reality show ever. Sure, the Randy Jackson role of a wise-yet-incomprehensible black dude is sometimes rotated and a bit of a wild card, but you’ve got two roles that remain steady. First, you have the potentially psychotic yes-woman Paula Abdul type with her weird way of talking, fame from a bygone era, and rampant pills/plastic surgery/botox. And then, of course, there is the Simon Cowell — the British guy who is a giant douchebag.
Since So You Think You Can Dance is made by the same people as American Idol, they naturally follow the sacred formula, only, as if to make up for a lack of a Randy Jackson replacement, they have made their Paula Abdul, Mary Murphy, extra crazy and botoxed, and they’ve made their Simon, Nigel Lythgoe, way, way more douchey.
I mean, maybe I’m a crazy person, but I don’t even find Simon that much of a jerk. Maybe I’m blinded by his and Ryan’s epic gay love (and if you want me to believe they aren’t in love, they need to stop sitting in each other’s laps), but I find most of his comments to be at least true. Sure, he lacks tact, sometimes, but let’s not lie to ourselves. What he’s saying isn’t any worse than what we’re saying in our living rooms. In fact, it’s probably decidedly kinder.
To be fair, Nigel is way less negative than Simon. But that makes him what my best friend refers to as an “insidious douchebag.” He seems nice and sweet and says things that you almost want to let pass, because come on, they’re not that obviously offensive. But they just stick under your skin until you just feel itchy and uncomfortable even seeing Nigel’s face.
He’s been totally worse this season, too. Sure, he was always pretty horny around the girls, sexist, and self-promoting, but is it just me or has it gotten way worse this season? His egomania has gotten so ridiculous that even when he was promoting the Dizzy Feet Foundation, which is his new charity, I was inherently repulsed. Maybe I’d have been more sympathetic if he didn’t spend the entire time he was talking about his new charity doing it through the lens of how his show is the greatest, most influential thing to happen to dance ever, and isn’t he brilliant for thinking this up? To which I answer, no, Nigel. It’s an admirable goal and a nice idea, but I think you stole it from the film Honey.
And his lack of social sensitivity is starting to border on pathological. I mean, is it really necessary for him to be so obnoxious on Thursdays? Do we need to know that he’s already decided who’s going home and basically is making the contestants dance their hearts out for his own sadistic pleasure? And is it necessary to inform the dancers that they unanimously decided they should leave? It’s like going, “Look, kid, we talked about it and absolutely no one thinks you are redeemable.” And could he stop commenting on the physical beauty of the girls, or getting the guys to “dance like men,” by which he means, “like you’re not exceedingly gay.” I wasn’t even surprised at his “Brokeback ballroom” comment during auditions (which he later apologized for). It didn’t even ping my radar as out of character for Nigel. That is just how douchey he is.
Nigel just kept on douching it up this week with his utterly insensitive treatment of the Russian folk routine. Sure, he was allowed not to like it, but there’s this unspoken line — you don’t outright insult the choreographers. And boy, did Nigel cross that line. And not only did he cross it and insult the choreographers, he insulted Russian folk dancing as an art form. Which is… how do I put this delicately? Let’s just go with culturally insensitive.
I mean, where does he even have to go from here? Is he actually going to proposition a dancer? Will he have a psychotic break and flip off the entire audience? Where is the next stop on Nigel’s continuing climb up Douche Mountain? Will he ever reach the peak? Has he reached it? What does the peak look like?
And can I speak for America in saying that I really don’t need to know?
Clacked by Julia Hass 
on Jul 11, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
I think you have lost it. He actually tells the contestants what they should be improving one instead of Simon who just goes “You suck”. Sure Simon is normally right, but it doesn’t help the singer.
And yes they need to promote things, how does that make him any bigger of a douche than American Idol and Simon?
I think you’re being a bit overly sensitive. I much prefer Nigel to Simon because Nigel does give the dancers critical input into technique and other things they need to be doing in order to stay in the competition. I think that’s more helpful than someone just throwing their hands up in the air and telling you you’re “dreadful.” Nigel is a dancer, Simon is not a singer, so I think that gives Nigel some validity…most of the time. Yes, he can be insensitive with his “dance like a man” comments – and really, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man dance that doesn’t at some point look anything but feminine (sorry) – but that’s Nigel. He’s just the crotchety old man sometimes, but at least he strives to keep the very best dancers in the competition until it’s the fans’ turn to vote, unlike IDOL that just keeps people on who might be able to sell records regardless of their talents.
Now as for the Russian folk dancing debacle – ouch! I was really shocked by the reaction and the outright dissing of the choreographers. I’d like to know if a discussion occurred prior to the show when everyone saw the dance, because they didn’t even show the choreographers in the audience. Were they ever there, or had they been insulted and left already? I can’t imagine they’d want to sit there and be embarrassed even more than they were. Honestly, the choreography wasn’t very good (and why did they have to give Phillip rosy cheeks that made him look like Pinochhio?) so I can see why everyone was disappointed but I do think Nigel crossed the line by attacking the choreographers like that. He could have just said he didn’t like the choreography and judged the dancers on their performances and let it go at that. But overall, I think Nigel is much more instructive with the dancers than Simon can or will ever be.
i´m in nigel’s camp too
Late to the party…but Nigel’s awesome. And he should totally promote his show and pat SYTYCD on the back any chance he gets. It’s an amazing show, giving people all kinds of opportunities that no other dance related medium has been able to accomplish.