Dear Marshall Eriksen,
Look, I know this is weird because you’re kind of married, but I think you should know that I’m in love with you.
It would be enough for me if you were an environmentally-passionate lawyer, but I forget until I marathon old episodes how friggin’ cute you are. You sing everything you do! I don’t find that annoying, I find that adorable. Mostly because I do it too. If you could please write me heartfelt letters from the beyond, make amazing charts about all of my favorite songs, and form a family band with me, that would be amazingly swell.
I already have plans for our first date. See, you like to eat, and I like to cook, but I hate to eat what I’ve made right after, so Marshall can do it for me. After that, we could make up games that you could win, and you could drive me home in your resurrected Fiero singing along to The Proclaimers at the top of our lungs.And can you imagine when we get together? I love having whackadoo Halloween costumes. We can take vacations to search for the Loch Ness monster and plan your last two slaps for Barney while dueling with your wall swords. And I need your mnemonic songs, because my memory kind of sucks. If you get me a marching band and promise to put up with my crazy eyes, I promise to make you bag lunches, never leave the jar open on the peanut butter, and write you the best letter from the great beyond that ever is or was.
Unfortunately you, like many of my past relationships with fictitious men, have a lady love who you deeply adore. I mean after Jim Halpert and Ned the Piemaker I thought I had learned my lesson, but no. No! All this marathoning I’m doing has made my heart go pitter-pat every time I see your cute little face come on screen or I listen to you sing your night-night song to Lily. Why do you and your brethren torment me so, Mr. Eriksen? My heart cannot deal with it.
Just know this, Marshall. If ever you get tired and lonely, I will be waiting for you. And until then, you don’t happen to have a fifth brother I don’t know about or something? One that’s really cute and just like you and single? If so, please have him call me. I have it on good authority that I’m awesome.
Love,
Julia
Clacked by Julia Hass 
on May 07, 2009 @ 16:13 EST5EDT
There’s a joke in here somewhere involving you getting a room with the Sarah Marshall DVD but I just can’t find it.
Its a shame, though, that Marshall outshines Lily on the show so much that its difficult to truly miss her during her little hiatus.
this was cute. I adore Marshall too. The night shirt? How could you not?
I love his bar chart of his favorite pies and his pie chart of his favorite bars. He had me at “Charts”…
LOL!!! and by the way i think that your memory is fine!!! :)