American Idol stream-of-consciousness

Oh, how I wish I had live-blogged this week’s American Idol performances. It was ripe — ripe, I tell you! — with fodder for discussion. Part comedy, part tragedy, it was akin to Shakespeare … well, no. But let’s try to relive it through my stream-of-consciousness post; I hope it doesn’t make you miss the live-blog too much.

Please Simon, pick the songs. In real life, these people would have producers, managers, someone with some common sense to help them not torture the audience … I mean, to help them entertain the audience to the best of their ability.

This one was Keith’s but I will never be able to look at Von the same way again, so I had to throw this in there: Von looks like a butch lesbian.

Taylor reminds me of Callie Torres on Grey’s Anatomy and twitches far too much during vibrato. It was weird for me, dawg.

I thought Simon had the quote of the episode when he told Alex he was a “hamster trying to be a tiger,” but I was wrong (we’ll get to that later). What he should have done is given Alex the advice to never, never try to dance again. It was a bit endearing though, wasn’t it, that he knocked over the mike stand by mistake? I didn’t want to like him, but his interview at the beginning when he said he started working out so he could fill out a shirt like Simon but that he was weak so he did short reps of low weights was just so cute. Yeah, he was a little over the top, but he turned out to be a pleasant surprise for me.

I yawned through Arianna, and honestly finished up my CliqueClack Flashback post (see it later tomorrow).

I enjoyed Ju’not (but not enough to pick up the phone and vote).

Belt-it-out Kristen, and be proud. I love the cool bluesy thing and it just about broke my heart to hear her admit she knows she has no style. If she gets through, they’ll fix her up. Remember David Cook’s hair?

I miss Jesse … she did know who she was and since I’d wear just about anything that she wore, I LOVED her style, and her slow, sultry voice … sigh America, what were you thinking?

It will be a miracle if Nathaniel doesn’t cry … wait for it … OK, I’m a big enough person to admit that he surprised me by acting somewhat mature. And who doesn’t love Meatloaf? I may warm up to him yet … um, no. The aerobics mix at the end killed it for me. Paula, that quote is classic: “The Boy George version of this song!”

Felicia, that was just harsh and icky and a little off-tune. If I wanted broken dishes, I’d listen to the losers from group one.

I really want to like Scott the blind guy, as does the rest of the nation, but he just doesn’t excite me. Bruce Hornsby, really? And like the worst song by him to boot? The judges buzz word, relevant, certainly doesn’t apply here. He’s such a nice guy, but he’s no David Cook.

Let me preface this one by saying that I live in the northeast people; I know that this is the only region in the entire country that doesn’t “get” country music, but have some mercy on us and at least sing it in-tune, Kendall.

Jorge was my favorite of the night. You don’t nail Elton John like that and get nothing, babe, you’re through! And in an effort to top her earlier Boy George quote, Paula blurted out, “I just want to squeeze you!” Now, why is it OK for Jorge to cry and not Nathaniel? Because Jorge is a real person crying about heartfelt stuff, not manufacturing fake drama for the sake of drama.

Lil has a great voice, not my style, but I’ll be glad to hear her sing something else because she’s a shoe-in for the next round.

OK, let’s hear your stream-of-consciousness in the comments!

Clacked by Debbie McDuffee
on Mar 03, 2009 @ 22:21 EST5EDT