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Why did Jane Seymour design a testicle necklace?

How can I write a post about something that leaves me speechless, you ask? I wondered that very thing. But as I watched the commercial for Jane Seymour’s Open Hearts necklace, I realized I was going to have to find a way to overcome the cat that had my tongue, because this was too good to pass up.

I guess this necklace has been around for a while, but I only recently saw the ads (thank you, DVR) while watching a show live, a rare thing in my household. Heck, even Joy from My Name is Earl coveted the, um, unique design, in what has been criticized as blatant product placement. Though, if I may be so bold as to say that if any character from My Name is Earl touts something as fashion, you’d really want to think twice about owning it yourself.

On, now, to the design of the necklace in said ad, and a video for you to enjoy if you haven’t yet had the pleasure ….

Some folks on the internet say the Open Hearts necklace looks like the ’80s Underalls package, and they’ve definitely got a point. Me? Apparently I’ve got a dirtier mind that the rest of them, because to me, it looks like a big, dangling set of testicles. Diamond testicles, of course, but male genitalia all the same.

Answer me this: Why is an ad for a testicle necklace so prominently placed on TV, for all to see? It boggles my mind that none of TPTB at Kay Jewelers questioned Jane’s design, for clearly, Jane Seymour isn’t getting enough of the horizontal mambo. Or, maybe that’s me, since I am the one who thinks the necklace is a primitive mating symbol of some sort.

But really, as if the necklace isn’t enough, the ad shows Jane adeptly painting giant red testicles. Someone get Jane some sex … and fast!

Here’s the full ad for Jane Seymour’s Open Hearts necklace, taking the testicle necklace so damned seriously that it left me speechless … if only for a short time.

Is it just me? Would you be proud to display this necklace in your cleavage? It’s just so wrong ….

Photo Credit: Kay Jewelers

7 Responses to “Why did Jane Seymour design a testicle necklace?”

December 12, 2008 at 12:06 PM

It sorta looks like cleavage to me from a certain angle so I guess a fitting place for the design is in cleavage.

December 12, 2008 at 3:56 PM

It looks like a backward “S” to me… with cleavage.

December 12, 2008 at 7:39 PM

*snicker*

Debbie, you rock :-)

December 14, 2008 at 7:49 PM

Debbie….what a great sense of humor! I second Sebastian….you rock!

December 19, 2008 at 8:56 PM

It looks like a highly stylized penis, with the testicles at the bottom and the glans at the top. I giggle every time I see that commercial, because I don’t think I’ve matured since middle school. :P

December 22, 2008 at 8:10 PM

The sad part is that they can’t keep any of these necklaces in stock at Kays Jeweler–they are selling like hot cakes. I have been trying to buy one for my sister as a gag gift (we both thought they looked like a butt or saggy boobs when we saw the commercial and laughed harder when we later saw it on My Name is Earl) and have been shocked to see that they are sold-out. Unbelievable.

February 12, 2009 at 2:03 PM

Well what I want to know is did she ‘really’ design this? She’s an ACTRESS not an artist (obviously)… I like the butts, saggy boobs and sacks… it doesn’t look like a heart to me… Glad to see I’m not the only person that thinks it’s horrid.

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